Does your child write stories or listen to a particular type of music? Are they crazy about a certain TV program or a broadcast such as motor car racing? Observe your child and then research the subject that excites them. Find out an interesting fact about tennis, or football or dancing. Find a useful website about boats, or bikes or trucks and show it to your child. Watch the TV program they love so you can talk to your child about it. You will have far greater influence over your child if you take the time to learn about their interests. You will have their undivided attention whenever you are conversing about topics that fascinate them. And they will be far more likely to agree to eat a healthy meal if you have just taken the time to talk about the website you found on monster trucks. For example, my daughter loves arts and crafts so I look for creative websites with her and we often find ones where she can design and print out bookmarks and puzzles. Yes, you guessed it: this is a good time to serve celery sticks and dip.
Love your child
All children basically want the same thing. They want to feel important and they want to feel loved. One way you can convey love to your child and make them feel significant is by talking to them about their goals and their absolute favourite hobbies. Even if their interests are something you think are irrelevant, such as computer games or cartoons, discussing these topics can help you to bond with your child—and it can make it easier to persuade them to eat healthy foods when combined with must-do tip number 2.
Must-do number 2
Answer the question ‘What’s in it for me?’ When a company markets a product, any product, this is the first question they aim to answer. They think: what do my customers want and how can I inspire them to buy? People like to be entertained, so ad execs may create a fun TV commercial or use images to suggest their product will make you happier, smarter or more attractive. Marketing fails when you only think in terms of what you want. You want your child to eat healthy foods because they need good nutrition. But this is your wish, not theirs. Ask yourself ‘What does my child wish for and how will eating healthy foods help them get it?’ and then get creative. For example, if you have a child who loves to kick balls you can say, ‘Vegies can help you run fast and kick well so I’ve put a yummy carrot in your lunch box today.’ You can also link eating vegies to having fun because having fun is probably one of your child’s main goals. For example, ‘I’ve added zucchini with dinner to help you be strong and have fun at football practice tomorrow.’
This has to be the most ethical and kind-hearted way to use marketing because you are inspiring your child to eat healthy, life-giving foods. You are forming positive habits that will serve your child well for the rest of their life. And you are telling them the truth. Studies show that vegetables and other healthy foods can reduce the risk of adulthood diseases and bone weakening, so they really do make your child’s body stronger. You are simply rewording this in a very basic and fun manner that your child can relate to. ‘What’s in it for me, Mum, when I eat my greens?’ Now put yourself in their shoes. ‘What’s in it for them? What is a fun reason why they should eat their vegies?’ This is ideal to use for most age groups above eighteen months old—just phrase it in a manner to suit their comprehension and interests.
Must-do number 3
Serve them something healthy then walk away. If you have a surly teenager it may be hard to talk to them about the mind-blowing benefits of eating broccoli. So you can try a different approach to begin with: if your child is interested in music, or books or a particular TV program, research the subject thoroughly and then talk with your child about it. Then when they seem happy and agreeable, serve them a healthy, vegie-rich dinner and then walk away.
This is often the only way you can successfully converse with a moody adolescent. So talk to them about their latest pair of Converse, their Simpsons DVD collection or the Kings of Leon CD that takes pride of place on their messy desk. Then serve them that healthy stir-fry you’ve whipped up, and walk away. Your child, at first, may be wary of your new-found interest in them so be patient. Your goal is not only to feed them a stir-fry, you should also be interested in your child’s hobbies because they are your child’s hobbies. Because you want to develop a great relationship with them. If, initially, they don’t eat your food it does not matter. You do not need to always get a result or reward when talking with your child. Be interested and talk to them. Your undivided attention is one of many ways you can help your child to be healthy and happy. Talk to them in a fun, light-hearted manner about their school projects, team sports or favourite Wii game. Serve them a healthy meal and then walk away.
Must-do number 4
Be persistent, and make a rewards chart. Studies reveal that a child may need to try a new food ten times before they get used to the new flavour. If your child hates broccoli, you can motivate them to eat it ten times by making a rewards chart. This chart is used to get them to rate the broccoli (and several other foods) out of ten, and they eat the foods ten times over the course of a couple of weeks. They can rate it 1 if it’s horrible tasting and up to 10 if they think the broccoli tastes okay. For example, I loved to eat tuna for dinner but my daughter hated it. She also rejected tomato, porridge and silver beet (to name a frustrating few). So we put these foods onto a rewards chart and she was very keen to try them ten times in order to get the reward, which was a trip to the zoo. Before she had even finished the chart, she was eating tuna and salad sandwiches without complaint. She was asking for porridge for breakfast. She wasn’t spitting out curry and sulking about the spices. The more genuinely happy and surprised I was, the more proud and grown up she felt and this encouraged her to rate the foods closer to ten out of ten. And we all got a fabulous trip to the zoo. We had to use two charts in total for foods such as tomato and tuna (so she tested these ones twenty times) but now she eats these foods without needing a reward.
Be persistent and patient because a child’s taste buds should not dictate what goes on the family’s dinner menu each night (maybe occasionally). Make a rewards chart and give your child’s taste buds a lesson in being brave and adventurous. This could take a while so in the meantime you can implement this next point...
Must-do number 5
Tell your child: ‘You don’t have to like the taste of it.’ Kids can have the misguided notion that you should only eat the yummiest foods. They reason: why eat fruit if chocolate cookies are congregating in the cupboard? But, as previously mentioned, eating is not purely to entertain your taste buds—and kids should be told this. Teach your young child about their taste buds and how they are not the boss of dinner time. ‘You are the boss, not your taste buds. Your taste buds might want you to eat a food that makes your tummy feel sick.’ You could also add: ‘Eating is something you do to grow strong and vegetables are the superfoods that will help you grow strong and feel happy.’ Or mention this: ‘Biscuits may taste good but they can make it hard to think properly when at school—silly taste buds!’
Your child does not have to like the taste of a new food but let them know their taste buds will become more ‘grown up’ if they are adventurous and try new flavours. You could make an ‘adventure tasting plate’ once or twice a week. On this plate, serve your child new foods such as cucumber, grilled eggplant and capsicum and grainy crackers with hummus or pesto. (See the Adventure Tasting Game.)
Activity 1: Your child’s tastes
Write down five activities that your child really, really, really loves to do. If your child is between the ages of two and ten you can make a rewards chart (see ‘My Reward Chart’) and with their help, list several foods or meals that you’d like them to try ten times. Choose at least one green food such as silver beet or baby spinach. Then link the reward to an activity that your child loves. For example, if your child loves to watch DVDs, link the reward to a special family movie night where your child gets to choose the DVD and you’ll make popcorn for the special event. If your child is too old fo
r the chart (possibly from the age of eleven), simply follow must-do’s 1 and 5.
If your child is a fussy baby or toddler, be patient and persistent. Make sure you offer a large variety of foods and flavours over the coming weeks. Offer fruit only after they have eaten something savoury as the sweetness can create favouritism for sugary foods. Give them lots of vegetables. You can initially make them more bland and more palatable by mixing them with baby rice cereal.
Must-do number 6
Limit junk food to specific days. As you know, junk food is a ‘sometimes’ food. Iceblocks, chocolate, chips and biscuits do not offer any goodness and they make healthy foods taste bland in comparison. So it’s vital that these taste-bud terrorists be limited to set days. Let your child know exactly when they can expect to eat their favourite treat. For example, make up a slogan such as, ‘Iceblock day is Friday after school’. Slogans (or quiet, agreeable rules) are wonderful for preventing food tantrums and they promote more healthy eating habits. Children love knowing the rules about junk foods or ‘sometimes’ foods. So let them know exactly when they can expect ‘chocolate day’ to occur—I guarantee they’ll never again launch themselves on the floor of the supermarket lolly isle in a chocolate-deprived rage.(Read ‘How to prevent junk food tantrums’.)
How to prevent junk food tantrums
My daughter and her two friends returned with a bag of lollies so big that I wondered if they had just robbed Santa at gunpoint. We were at the Christmas carols by candlelight. There was face painting, singing and when Santa arrived lollies were handed out to the children. Somehow my lot received enough lollipops to feed a small village.
So what do you do when artificially coloured, flavoured and eagerly savoured junk food ends up in your child’s radar? Hopefully you have a set of rules in place to prevent arguments about when junk food or ‘sometimes’ foods can and cannot be eaten. Health experts are now recommending we teach our children about ‘sometimes’ foods. They say chocolate, lollies and cake are ‘sometimes’ foods. Biscuits, pastries, iceblocks and hot chips are ‘sometimes’ foods. Nothing is really out of bounds but some foods are ‘sometimes’ foods while others are ‘everyday’ foods such as vegetables, fruits and wholegrains. This is true and makes perfect sense to adults. However, don’t tell your child chocolate, lollies and cake are sometimes foods. Don’t even let them know that biscuits, pastries, iceblocks and lollipops are sometimes foods unless...
Unless you also tell your child when sometimes is.
For example, my child knows that lollies are for parties and special occasions. If she hassles me for a packet of Mentos she’ll be told, ‘Lollies are for parties and special occasions’, and she knows this is true because she has heard this rule many times so she won’t argue with me. The carols by candlelight event fell into the ‘special occasion’ category so I could not argue with her. So she was allowed to eat the sweets that night. Then what usually happens is the lollies mysteriously disappear a few days later after being put in the fridge, never to be seen again (hello bin lining after bed time). Luckily special occasions don’t happen too often, and my daughter and her friends decided to hand out a couple of lollies to each of their 25 class mates the next day at school.
I call these rules that restrict junk food ‘slogans’ because they are repeated like a slogan and they become ingrained into your memory. For example, my daughter loves iceblocks and about four years ago she would demand one whenever we passed the local shop on the way to her school. After all, we were in the vicinity of her favourite icy treat and she thought it was a great opportunity to buy one. Every day I’d say ‘No, we’re going to school’. Every day there was a tantrum. Finally I said ‘Let’s set a new rule: what day should be iceblock day?’ Of course my daughter said today was iceblock day, which happened to be Friday, so iceblocks became a Friday after-school treat.
Naturally my daughter still nagged me to buy iceblocks for another week but I would always reply with the same slogan, ‘Iceblock day is Friday’. Her complaining became less frequent and soon she had replaced ‘I want an iceblock!’ with ‘Is it Friday yet?’ or ‘How many days ’til Friday?’ Within a fortnight she knew when Friday was due to occur and she no longer needed to ask. Occasionally she would try her luck and tell me her ideas for a new rule ‘Can we make iceblock day every day the sun shines?’ she’d ask. ‘No,’ I’d reply. ‘Iceblock day is Friday’. She knows this is true as she has heard and experienced this slogan (aka rule) on a consistent basis so she doesn’t argue when I inevitably say no.
What is ‘sometimes’ and when can I expect it to happen?
You can stop the lolly debate in its tracks by setting clear cut limits for your child. You do this by telling your child the exact day and time that they can expect to eat their favourite treat.
For example, the next time your child throws a tantrum at the supermarket checkout queue because they want a handy-to-reach lolly, don’t blame the clever shop layout. Simply set a new rule. Say something to the effect of ‘Chocolate can only be eaten sometimes so let’s pick a day when you can have it. What day will be chocolate day?’ You can suggest Friday after school or Saturday after sport and so on. After your child has chosen a day add ‘Chocolate day is now Friday after school’. Make sure they understand that they are not having chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner on this day. And ensure they agree to the new rule before they get the treat.
Then the next time your child is ready to launch themselves on the supermarket floor in a chocolate-deprived rage, say ‘Chocolate day is Friday after school’, and add ‘You can choose your favourite chocolate right now and then we’ll keep it for Friday’. If they protest, say your ‘slogan’ again: ‘Chocolate day is Friday (or we could make it once a year at Easter?)’. Pretty soon your child will stop asking for chocolate and start asking, ‘When’s Friday Dad?’
You can also benefit by telling your family when they can expect dessert so they don’t harass you to make it every night. This is particularly useful for the child who has a tendency to save room for dessert. And it removes any confusion and lessens the occurrence of tantrums. For example ‘Dessert nights are Sunday, Tuesday and Thursdays,’ or ‘Dessert day is Sunday after dinner.’
Other rules about sometimes foods
• Chocolate is for Easter and parties.
• Lollies are for Halloween, Christmas and birthdays.
• Fried food Fridays.
• Chocolate sandwich day is Tuesday.
Remember me!
• Have set ‘sometimes food’ days. Use your own ‘slogans’ to reinforce when these days are set to occur, such as ‘Fried food Fridays’, and repeat them often.
• Once you set a new sometimes food rule follow it religiously. You need to be consistent for your slogans to work for you.
Must-do number 7
Slap a slogan on it. Slogans work when they are repeated over and over and over again. Test this one: firstly educate your child by saying ‘Green vegies are superfoods that can help you run faster and have more fun,’ or ‘We need to eat greens every day to be strong.’ (Reword this to suit your child’s age and hobbies.) Then every time your child says they’re hungry or asks for food say, ‘Have you had your green vegies today?’ For example, ‘Mum, I’m hungry.’ You reply with your slogan: ‘Have you had your green vegies today?’ Then add, ‘You can have some now or with dinner.’ When your partner comes home from work ask, ‘Have you had your green vegies today?’ And quietly arrange with him to reply, ‘No but I’d like some with dinner.’ Pretty soon your child will be replying, ‘No, but I’ll have some with dinner.’
This one is my favourite: if your child does not like fruit, every day, say in a lighthearted way as you open the refrigerator door, ‘Where’s the power fruit?’ You will probably open the fridge many times so each time say this slogan: ‘Where’s the power fruit?’ Eventually, when your
child opens the refrigerator door what will be the first thing they think of? Where’s the power fruit? They will not be able to help themselves. It’s the same as every time I kick a ball with my son: I think of the TV commercial that says ‘Kick it to me, kick it to me...’ Simple slogans and catchy phrases are powerful. Use them often.
Must-do number 8
Speak their language. You would not speak to your child in Japanese if they could only understand English. However, this is what it can feel like for a child when they hear the words ‘You’ve got to eat vegetables because they’re healthy.’ What does ‘healthy’ mean to a child? Nothing, unless they are very, very ill and wish to become well again.
When you want to persuade your child to eat healthy foods, use wording that is appropriate for your child’s age and comprehension. Toddlers and young children like fun, simple words such as ‘Let’s have some power fruit so you can have fun for a really long time.’ If your child is a teenager, speak to them as if they’re an adult. Adolescents are more likely to respond well if you treat them with respect. Try: ‘You probably already know that green vegetables can give you beautiful skin.’ Or ‘I’ve made your sandwich with grainy bread today as it can make it easier to concentrate during exams.’ If they complain say, ‘I know you’re smart but I’ve already made you this really tasty sandwich.’ If you visited Japan you would be polite enough to learn some Japanese phrases so you could be understood clearly. Bridge the canyon that is the generation gap by learning to speak to your child in a manner they can identify with. Not merely understand, but joyfully relate to.
Healthy Family, Happy Family Page 5