***
"Shadrack's had two on sale, my Baron. I selected the one with the most memory." Mia handed me the new laptop. It was difficult not to think of her as an entity composed entirely of sugar, sweet as she was in appearance and demeanor. Her voice was gentle and assuring, adding to my gladness of being seated behind my desk in the study. "You were so tired, my dear Baron, when I fetched you in Manchester. We did not speak at all on the way home."
"I slept, I'm afraid." That I did, nestled into the cloth seat of the car like a spent child returning from an intense week of giddy overachievement at summer camp. "If I didn't thank you properly for meeting me at such an early hour, please accept my full gratitude now."
"It is my job to serve you completely, my Baron."
"So it is."
"I also purchased a new porkpie for you, along with a fashionable leather valise recommended by Mr. Shadrack himself." She smiled, melting a portion of my heart while imploding a corner of my soul. "You're all set to travel once again."
"So I am."
"I have a thank you card here for Mr. Kose. It was generous of him to fly you across North America."
"He called me an asshole. His term."
"Modern etiquette advises to ignore personal remarks and focus on the courtesy which has been extended."
"Very well." I scrawled my name at the bottom inside page. "Two items for your consideration, Miss Kolpaux."
"And I have two items for you as well, my Baron," Mia echoed me, her soft chuckle evoking an image of schoolgirl days gone by. "You first."
"I'm expecting a package --"
"Of which we are very much aware."
"To arrive with Dawn the Fed Ex girl today. This very morning. It is critical I be notified immediately upon its receipt."
"Surely, my Baron."
"Secondly, I am expecting a call on my cellular device in the coming hours. It is vital my phone is charged and with me."
"Done and completed. The phone is fully functional and placed next to your Trotters blazer, which is laid out on your bed."
"My what?"
"Your Trotters on Funk blue blazer. It is to be worn today," Mia said, stifling a cough. "This is the first of my two items."
"The blazer? Certainly number two on your list cannot compare!"
"VIOLENCE is paying its monthly visit to the Manor today."
"VIOLENCE! Of all days, why today?"
"It was scheduled during last month's meeting, my Baron." Mia smiled as she referenced the minutes before me. "You should know this as you are the group's chairman."
"But the entire day will be consumed with bird watching, lunch, lectures, notes and speeches," I groaned, wincing at the thought of being surrounded by nearsighted naturists while waiting on pins and needles for word from Moeziz. "I'm terribly busy right now, Miss Kolpaux. We either must cancel or have someone else take over my duties for the event."
"Not all is without good news, my Baron." It was amazing that a man of my stature fit so snugly in the palm of her delicate hand. "Anticipating you might be preoccupied, I invited the Kornblatts to assist in your duties. They graciously accepted and arrived last evening."
"Stinky and Conestoga are here? Wonderful news!" A rush of renewed enthusiasm shot through me. I would be able to apply my focus on Angel and the CerebStix situation, while being relieved of the mechanisms of the charity I reluctantly agreed to sponsor. "Good, old Stinky. Born a true friend, indeed."
"Once you are dressed and downstairs, lunch will be announced upon your directive."
"That is very kind of you, Mia. I appreciate your organizational efficiency."
"You will share a table with Mr. and Mrs. Kornblatt," she replied, rising from her chair like an elegant lily reaching for the first rays of dawn. "Should duty summon you from those you are helping, you shall have my total support."
"Mia," I called after her, "this thing with Smudgely. That is, your interest in him. I was hoping to get to know one another better. You and I. I thought we might make quite a couple, if I dare say as much." The words left my mouth before I realized they would cover me in a wash of undignified mortification.
"Oh, my Baron," Mia blushed, covering her face with her hand. "You are such a busy bee. Where would you find time for such fanciful things as romance?"
"As much as I like to consider myself a fugleman of contemporary events, Miss Kolpaux," my self-embarrassment continued unabated, "there is another side of me that appreciates both the timeless divinity of soulful love and the finer quality of human desires."
"Oh, my Baron, you are but a vigorous boy!"
"Heavens, Miss Kolpaux, I'm almost twice your age! And Smudgely is half again mine!"
"Thank you for so quickly understanding my position. Your extensive intellect grasps my attraction for Mr. Smudgely's maturity, experience and worldliness."
And so the door closed behind Mia, leaving me to ponder a youthfulness still circulating within the old frame, one of which I had been blindly unaware.
Baril de Singes [Barrel of Monkeys] Page 33