“You need to sleep,” he said. When she did not respond, he climbed out of bed and came to her. He laid a hand on her shoulder, and then leaned down to press his lips to the top of her head. “This isn’t the first time you’ve spent your hours staring at the amulet instead of sleeping, but you can’t keep doing that. Not if you want to stay safe while we travel. You can’t stay alert if you’re tired.”
“I know, but I can’t sleep. I don’t know what happened between us and I’m scared. I keep thinking something’s wrong.”
“We’ll figure it out,” he promised. “Later. For now, come back to bed with me. We can keep each other warm.”
She nodded and followed him back to his cot. Though it was small, perhaps too narrow for two people, they made it work. They lay on their sides, facing each other. His arms circled her body. She brought her hands to his chest. And then he did something she did not expect. He kissed her.
His lips were soft, undemanding, and in them, he gave her his acceptance for what they felt for each other. When he drew them up to her forehead, she knew something had changed. She doubted he would tell her what, so she did not bother to ask. Instead, she rested her head next to his and slept.
§
BRIGHT SUNLIGHT streamed through the cabin window, highlighting small particles of dust as they danced in the air. Meaghan frowned. It should have been night, or at the least, dusk. She felt refreshed, so she knew she had not slept only a few hours. But the sunlight told her it was still day.
She did not have to stretch out her hand to know the other half of the small bed lay empty. The warmth of Nick’s body had left her. She propped up on her elbows, scanning the room for him. She found him eating an apple at the small table.
Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she stood. The wood floor did not hold the chill it had earlier. She listened for the wind, but heard only the chirp of birds outside. She hoped that meant the weather would cooperate for their travels today. She stretched to remove the kinks from her body and then reclaimed her shoes, slipping them back onto her feet before she joined Nick at the table. He handed her the remaining apple. She devoured half of it, satisfying a ravenous hunger before she spoke, and then formed words around bites as she continued to eat.
“How long did I sleep?”
“The rest of yesterday and all of last night.”
She lowered her apple, her hunger forgotten in surprise. “Why did you let me sleep so long?”
He shrugged, his eyes remaining focused on his own apple, though he had yet to raise it to his lips since she had taken the chair opposite him. She set her apple down.
“Because you needed the rest,” he responded. He laid his apple next to hers. “And because we’re almost home. Once we arrive there, things will get unpleasant. I didn’t want to face that yet.”
She laced her fingers together on the table in front of her and studied him. He still refused to meet her eyes. His movements were hesitant and unsure. The confidence that usually held his head high and his shoulders steady had disappeared. He did not act right. He did not look right. It worried her and she tapped the table to get his attention. He lifted his eyes to hers. Pain shone from them. Unlocking her hands, she laid one on top of the table, palm up. He placed his hand on top of hers and grabbled hold, taking comfort as she curled their fingers together.
“You kissed me yesterday,” she said.
He nodded. She waited a minute, and then another, and when she thought she would need to prompt him again, he spoke. “Do you remember Christmas last year?” he asked, but before she could answer, he kept talking. “Of course you do. I’m sure you must. It wasn’t that long ago.” He shook his head, and then grew silent again. She let the seconds pass until he continued. “It was my first Christmas. And my last. I loved every minute of it.”
“Except when I woke you at five in the morning to help me make breakfast,” she said. “I probably should have let you sleep, but I wanted to spend the time with you.”
“I’m glad you did. That was my favorite part of the day.” He brought his other hand up to encase hers. “It was sweet of you to want to make breakfast for James and Vivian.”
“Mom thought so too, until she saw the mess in her kitchen.”
Nick grinned, a genuine gesture that returned a spark of happiness to his eyes. “It was a harmless flour fight,” he said. “We cleaned it up.”
“And clogged her new vacuum in the process. What was it you got stuck in the hose?”
“A fork.” He chuckled. “And a wad of plastic wrap. It took me an hour to figure out how to get the damn thing unclogged, but it was worth it.” His smile faded. “Sometimes I wish we could go back there. Even though I knew I couldn’t be with you, it was easy to forget on days like that.” He let go of her hand, then stood and walked to the fireplace. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he stared into its emptiness. “I loved hearing you sing while we cooked. There was one song in particular that took my breath away. It was a jazz piece, I think. ‘s Wonderful? You were doing the Sarah Vaughan version.”
“I was,” she confirmed. “I’m surprised you remember that.”
“I can’t forget.” He turned back around to look at her. “That was the moment I knew I was in love with you, and the first time I wanted to kiss you. Yesterday was for that.”
The sadness returned to his eyes. She stood, intending to go to him, but he shook his head and she remained rooted to her spot.
“I couldn’t kiss you then,” he told her, “because I wanted to prevent what happened yesterday.”
She wove her hands together in front of her, trying to gather enough strength for the answer to her next question. “What did happen yesterday? You said I took your powers, but you’re still able to block me.”
“You stole all but my personal power,” he answered, “the one power that doesn’t make me a Guardian. All of my other powers are specific to my Guardianship. They’re a package deal, so to speak, providing me with the ability to protect you. And they need a minimum amount of power to work. An increase in power won’t hurt them, but a decrease will destroy them.”
“Are you saying I somehow decreased your power?”
“Without meaning to, yes. What happened yesterday was a melding of powers. Our powers combined and then balanced out before returning to us.”
He did not have to say any more for Meaghan to understand. Her knees felt weak, so she slid back into her chair. “A Guardian’s powers are the strongest on this world, next to a Spellmaster’s,” she whispered. “When the powers balanced, I got some of your power, didn’t I? You’re no longer a Guardian.”
“Yes,” he whispered. “I can’t protect you anymore.”
And he would no longer be able to protect himself. She closed her eyes against the reality. “How did it happen?”
“Our powers do more than allow us to have special talents,” he responded. “They’re an extension of our souls. Because of that, they’re able to recognize when love is real. And when the time is right,” he hesitated. “Well, yesterday happens.”
“When the time is right,” she echoed, opening her eyes. She gripped the back of her chair, feeling sick. How could the time be right? How could putting Nick’s life in danger be right? Nothing could be right about it. She had to have misunderstood him. “Nick, I care for you. I always have. And maybe I feel more, but I couldn’t call it love. I wouldn’t have said that, so how could my power cause this?”
“I don’t know,” he responded. He crossed the room and knelt in front of her. Taking her face between his hands, he lifted it so he could press his lips to hers. “I can call what I feel love. But even if what I feel was allowed, I wouldn’t have said I was ready for this. None of it makes sense to me. It’s only supposed to happen with a kiss, and only then after two people have had time to get to know each other and acknowledge their love.” He let go of her. “It doesn’t matter now what’s supposed to be. And it doesn’t matter if we’re ready for it or not. It’s done,
and it can’t be undone.”
“What’s done?” she asked, barely pushing the words past her dry throat. “What happened?”
“Our powers joined us,” he told her. “For eternity. We’re wed.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
WED.
The word chased through her mind unimpeded, knocking every other thought from recognition. If she had not been sitting, she would have fallen to the floor.
Wed.
No proposal, no ring, no fancy wedding or flowers. No food and family. No dancing and champagne.
Wed.
No church, no reception, no picturesque fairytale celebration. All she had were streams of colors that in no way resembled the decorations she had once planned to the last detail at the age of eleven, and filthy clothes with almost a week’s worth of wear that did not even come close to the pristine white dress she had designed in her dreams.
Wed.
Joined in seconds by a force she could not control, by a decision she did not make. Joined forever, or until death, which most likely would come first and not far from now. Joined by magic, not unquestionable love.
Wed.
She buried her face in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. Was there nothing on this world that made sense? Nick’s hands gripped hers. She felt another surge of warmth and then realized maybe one thing did make sense. She raised her head and met his gaze. There was worry there, for her, not for his loss and safety, as well as kindness, and understanding. She smiled. Maybe the dresses and the ceremonies were what did not make sense. And maybe they could find a reason behind the seeming madness of being wed.
“Now that we’re married—”
“Not married,” he corrected. “It’s ‘wed’ here. A marriage is only the ceremony. We have one similar to yours. But the wedding is the actual act of joining.”
She nodded. “Now that we’re wed, what happens? You said going back to your village would be unpleasant.”
“It won’t be easy. The Elders will call a hearing and decide my punishment. Despite what they decide, I’ll have to move out of the village. It’s for Guardians only. But all of that won’t matter if my mother kills me first.”
She raised an eyebrow at the joke and then realized he was not kidding. “This is serious, isn’t it?” she asked. “Will your mom really be that mad?”
“It’s a strict law, and I’ve made it more unforgiveable because it puts you at risk.”
“That doesn’t seem fair. How can they expect us to follow the law if our powers make the decision for us?”
“They don’t expect you to follow it,” he told her and sat back on his heels. “They expect me to, and I’m not exactly blameless. When I first started having feelings for you, I was required to remove myself from the situation, and from being your Guardian. I didn’t. I made a choice and they’ll hold me accountable for it.”
“What will they do to you?”
“Banish me from the kingdom,” he answered. “It’s only a matter of how long. It could be a year or it could be forever.” His body remained relaxed at the decree, but hers tensed. She gripped his hands tighter.
“They can’t. They won’t.”
“We can’t stop them. They’re the final authority on all Guardians.”
She stood. He rose to his feet as well, bringing his hands to her shoulders.
“Even over the Queen?” she asked. “Even if I insist on keeping my husband within my kingdom?”
“Even if.” He chuckled. “Though I imagine if you raised enough of a fuss, I’d be safe from permanent banishment.”
She lifted her chin. “I intend to.”
“Good.” He smiled, squeezed her shoulders, and then allowed his smile and the gaiety of the moment to slip away. “Meg, you do understand it’s the only thing I’ll be safe from. I’m a target already. Without my sensing powers, I won’t last long.”
“I know,” she said, her voice soft. “Are you certain the repercussions aren’t a rumor? It wouldn’t be the first time a tale became known as reality and if it’s always been forbidden—”
“I’m certain. We aren’t the first to do this. Before the war, it was a loose warning, a choice—remain a Guardian or follow where love led. Not many chose love, but those who did were living proof of the sacrifice it took to break the rule. After the war started, the Elders declared it a law. A few people have still chosen love over their powers, but none of them have lived long enough to answer to the Elders.”
“Have you tried using your powers?” she asked. “There’s no danger here, nothing to sense. Maybe—”
“Meg, stop,” he interrupted again, a warning of impatience in his tone. He drew his hands to the sides of her neck, and pressed his forehead to hers. “We can’t fix this. You need to accept that. It’s out of our control.”
She covered his hands with her own, closing her eyes as pain washed through her. She had no problem accepting the loss of control. Nothing had been in their control this week. They rode the days like swells in a storm, holding to each other and somehow surviving on wit and luck. Mostly luck. But as long as they made it through, she was okay with it. She was not okay with losing Nick, and she did not intend to accept his death. She could not believe Vivian, with all her wisdom and foresight, would invite Nick to Earth and not understand this might happen. It seemed foolish, and her mother had never been a foolish woman.
A spark of understanding grew within her mind, fed by a few graceful letters and a string of nonsensical lines.
Nonsensical, until they had context.
She pulled away from Nick, stepping back in her excitement without warning. She had to be right. She was certain of it, so certain that she could not keep a smile from her face. Confusion blanketed his.
“They’re wrong,” she said to him. “You’re wrong.”
He shook his head. “I know this is hard, but—”
“No, Nick,” she turned to the table and the backpack, rummaging through it for the amulet. “It happened differently for us because it is different. Mom told me so I wouldn’t have to worry about you, but I didn’t understand.”
“I don’t either. You’re not making sense.”
“I know,” she conceded. “It’s because I can’t find it. Here it is,” her fingers wrapped around the velvet pouch and she tugged it from the bag, turning to him. “She left it in here.”
She slid the amulet out of the bag into her hand, then flipped it over and popped open the secret door. “Aldin found this,” she said, “and this.” She poked the paper out of its hole and set the necklace aside. Then she unfolded the paper and handed it to him.
He looked from her to the paper, and then back to her.
“Read it,” she insisted.
He dropped his eyes back to the writing and frowned. “This doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t negate—”
“You don’t recognize the handwriting?” she asked. She took a step closer to him. “How could you not? It’s Mom’s.”
“I recognize it,” he said, looking back at the paper. “But it’s impossible to tell what she meant by it.”
“It’s not.” She snatched the paper back from him, upset he could not see it as clearly as she could. “When the two houses that cannot be together join as one,” she read, “they will become stronger; the world will be reborn and once again have hope.” She looked up at him. “That means nothing to you?”
“It can mean whatever I decide it means,” he responded. “That’s the trouble with prophecies. When you’re desperate enough, it becomes what you want instead of being what it is.”
She felt heat rise in her cheeks. “Two houses,” she pressed forward, “as in the Guardians and everyone else.”
“Or two different families,” he countered, “or two literal houses, or two villages. As I said, it could be anything.”
She crossed her arms, glaring at him. “Until you add the next line, ‘That cannot be together join as one’. It can only mean one thing.”
“Th
at two feuding tribes need to sign a treaty,” he said. “It could have been written long ago for Zeiihbu. At least, that’s how I interpret it. But you think it’s about us being wed.”
“Can you truly argue against that? Mom gave this to me for a reason.”
“I can because I’ve known Guardians who wed and lost their powers. It’s hard to ignore that for a piece of paper with fuzzy analogies that, incidentally, could have been put in the amulet at any time. You don’t know Vivian meant it for you.”
“I do know.” She slapped the paper onto the table, raising her voice to punctuate her anger. “But if you’re so certain this means nothing, what does it hurt to try using your sensing power? Sense my power. If you can’t, then it’s settled.”
“Fine,” he matched her tone with one of equal animosity, and then stared at her with the same heat. A minute dragged forward, then a second before he shook his head. His shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Tears welled within her eyes. She dashed them away with the back of her hand, and when he reached for her, she pushed him aside and fled the cabin.
§
NICK LEFT Meaghan alone outside, giving her both space and time to sort out her thoughts. Her reaction had hurt him more than he cared to admit, but he understood. This week had been too much for her. And perhaps it had been too much for him, too.
To keep busy, he tidied up the cabin, ignoring the paper she had left on the table until he had nothing left to distract him. Then he stood over it, studying the small piece of parchment with equal loathing and curiosity. Meaghan had seemed so certain it meant something. He had not wanted to shatter whatever hope she had clung to, but she had left him no choice. And for a moment, his heart had leapt when he thought his sensing power had worked. But the power pushing back to him had felt stronger than anything he had sensed from a single person before. It had more closely matched the level of power three Guardians would produce together. Although Meaghan’s power was rare, it was not strong, and he realized that meant his brain had tricked him into feeling something so he would not have to face the grief of feeling emptiness.
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