“This isn’t about you and me, Markus; it’s about two tiny babies who need to be in the most secure, most loving environment possible.”
“You must understand my hesitation in believing you’ve changed, Liv. Quite simply, you have a history of running out on love when things get tough. And bringing up two babies, night and day, will be tougher than anything else you’ve run from.”
Bile began to inch its way up the back of her throat because he spoke the truth. “You’re right,” she whispered. “And you need to understand that in doing what I am now, I’m determined to change.”
“Determination isn’t enough. Two lives are at stake. If you fail, if you run out, even if you tire of being in one place too long, it’s the girls who’ll pay the price. They’re not adults, as I was. I need to be sure you have the capacity to love them the way they deserve to be loved.”
He continued, seemingly oblivious to the depths she was reaching. “I’ve lived close to the wind, taken some risks and put my life in danger on occasion, but I know true love when I see it. And I don’t walk out on it. Just as I won’t walk out on Phoebe and Zoë.”
He suddenly stopped speaking, and the silence dug into her as she digested his words.
The passion and fire she’d loved all those years ago radiated from him, and she had to fight to push away a deep-seated need to touch him, feel his heat, trace a finger down his jaw . . .
Struggling to keep the emotion from her voice and at the same time bring some calm, she stood. “I think we both need to acknowledge the hurt that’s been done in the past and move on from it, Markus.”
She could’ve said different things—that he was the one who’d run off to parachuting weekends in Nice and scuba diving trips off Sardinia. She could’ve told him how coming home two days late from a caving trip was neither funny nor responsible—that it had scared the life from her and left her alone and lonely. But she didn’t. None of that mattered now.
She closed her eyes and bowed her head. She was getting too deep. This was about Phoebe and Zoë, not about them.
She opened her eyes but kept her gaze lowered. “I know love takes determination and sacrifice and commitment, and now I have the opportunity to give those things to the girls. When I’m back with them in Brentwood Bay, I’ll be the second-best mother they could ever have.”
“And what if you didn’t go back to the States?”
She flicked her gaze up to meet his. And she saw a spark of challenge beginning to flame. “What do you mean?”
His jaw tightened but he held her gaze. “What if you were to stay here and be a part of the girls’ lives forever? Allow them to grow up with two people who love them.”
“I’ve told my friends I’ll be coming back,” she said, confusion at what he was suggesting swimming between her words. “I’ve said I’ll bring the girls back home to a quiet life, and the foster mom I had when I was fourteen wants to help me take care of them.”
“You could do that here.” His gaze intensified and her heart began to speed. “You could work, visit your fragrance markets when you need to and still be part of the girls’ lives. They’d then have a mother and a father.”
She shook her head, trying to understand where on earth this idea had come from. “But I’m an American citizen, Markus. I don’t have an EU passport. I wouldn’t be allowed to stay here.”
“You would if you became my wife.”
Her eyes grew wide, her lips parted, and her shoulders dropped. His suggestion had had the desired impact.
It might seem uncaring, ruthless even, to make her face the truth in such a blunt way, but Markus wanted to push her, to see how much she’d truly changed, how real her declarations of the last half hour were.
And when she scoffed at his suggestion, as he was certain she would, then she’d show her true colors. She wasn’t as prepared to sacrifice everything to put her love for Phoebe and Zoë first as she’d so vehemently insisted.
There was no point in either of them pretending she’d changed, because the bottom line was that he wasn’t going to let the girls leave here with someone who didn’t know how to prioritize love.
Color had drained from her face. “Your wife?” Her voice trembled before her throat moved in a sharp swallow. “Markus, you can’t be serious?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He breathed a silent sigh of relief that she was as shocked at his proposal as he’d known she’d be. Now she could stop pretending.
“It’d mean you could legally stay here,” he said. “Leaving Phoebe and Zoë settled in the only place they know, with the two people in the world who love them, would be the biggest sacrifice you’d ever make.” Her eyes were dark and panicked as she chewed on her lip, so he continued. “You talk of wanting to be a mother to them, of proving your love for them. Put them and their needs first. Don’t run from here because you can’t face me or our past. Stay here so we can raise the girls together.”
She held his gaze, her eyes glistening, lip trembling. “You’d marry me? Just so I could stay here? You think you could do that?” she whispered.
So, she was going to humor him for a moment? Okay. But he could carry the challenge through to see her realize, make her really understand, that in refusing him she didn’t have what it took to last the distance.
“But you always said marriage was so important to you. I don’t understand why you’d do this. How could we make it work?”
Hot memories burned through him. She’d done it again. She’d pulled that string of remembrance that cut deep and reminded him how he’d never had the chance to ask her to marry him before.
He forced himself to continue his charade. “If we’re both determined to put the girls first in everything, then of course we could make it work. Couples who’ve split do it all the time, and if we put the children first in everything, then I don’t see why it wouldn’t be a success. The girls would remain settled, and they’d have the security and love of two people, not just one.”
Even though he made the words sound meaningful and sincere, the immediate vision of having her here permanently, so within his reach and yet so distant, caused him to shiver at even the fantasy of it. A beautiful little family, the sort he’d told her he’d wanted when they’d been together. But she’d always avoided it, saying she wasn’t ready to think about it and that the idea of children frightened her.
She sat down hard and held on to the arms of the chair as if steadying herself for a bumpy ride. “It’s not something I’ve considered,” she said quietly. “Staying here. I guess I’d just assumed you’d want me to take the girls away, that you wouldn’t have room in your life for them the way you didn’t have room for things in the past.” Her gaze drifted up to his. “But I can see you’ve changed too.”
His chest hollowed. Where was the immediate refusal he’d been expecting? The panic he’d been certain she’d display when she realized he’d called her bluff and really seen through her words? The understanding she’d have no choice but to put her needs first and run again?
She steepled her hands and tapped them on her mouth, but she continued to watch him, her eyes steady. “I can see how me staying here would give the girls what they need, Markus, but surely it’s not something you’d be comfortable with?”
He pulled his shoulders back. “I’m committed to making decisions that wholly benefit Phoebe and Zoë. My needs don’t come into the equation. If what’s best for them means sharing their care with you, then of course that’s something I’d do.”
“But what would it give you?”
As she sat in that chair, her fingers touching the lips he’d kissed so many times, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. And the remnants of long-buried desire began to unfurl inside. The way a tiny frown grazed the smooth skin of her forehead, the way she rolled her teeth between her lips, they both made him want to put all this right, forget what had happened in the past and just drag her into his arms.
You, he wanted to say, it would give me the you
I’ve dreamed about. Your face to look at. Your laugh to listen to.
Having you here would give me back you. And the part of me that died when you walked away from me. From us. From our love.
“It would give me a chance to stay in the girls’ lives. I’ve been with them night and day and I can’t imagine giving them up.”
“You wouldn’t consider moving back to the States?”
Her gaze held him and he couldn’t pull his away. “I’d consider whatever was the right decision for the girls. They were born here and are citizens. I’ve made a commitment to my family to run the business here. And Cyprus is closer to your European markets than living back home.”
“If I thought it would work, I might consider it.” Her voice had steadied.
Words sat paralyzed in his throat. She was really considering this? Really believed they could put their past behind them for the sake of the girls? And despite it being a ridiculous idea, and that all the problems of the past would be magnified a hundred times with two babies in their care, he let the vision carry him away for a moment and held the gaze she trapped him with.
4
Markus knew he’d been longer than he should’ve when he swung the car through the large iron gates at the bottom of the driveway and made the journey over the hill to his house. The moon shone bright after the storm, and the air was still and sticky. The local store hadn’t had the brand of formula the girls preferred, so he’d had to drive all the way into the town of Paphos to get what he needed. It was after ten, and he hoped the babies hadn’t woken and that Liv hadn’t had to cope on her own.
As the car came over the brow of the hill, his stomach dropped.
The house was lit like a beacon. Every room on every level glowed, illuminating the surrounding garden.
Exhaustion from nights of broken sleep, mixed with the knowledge that he’d be spending the night under the same roof as Liv, sat heavy across his shoulders. He got out of the car and rushed up the steps.
This was not a happy light.
He gripped the handle and then pushed the door open, the silence surprising him, and he let out the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Perhaps the babies were being fed?
His housekeeper, Petro, stood in the middle of wall-to-wall mess, but Liv and the babies were nowhere to be seen.
“Thank God!” Petro exclaimed in Greek, before marching toward him and dumping a pile of baby clothes in his arms. “She’s no good this new nanny! You have to fire her. She knows nothing about feeding or changing or how to get those angel babies to sleep. This is all too much, Markus. When I agreed to this situation, I didn’t expect it—”
“Okay, Petro, okay.” Markus dropped the clothes on the couch and put a hand on Petro’s shaking shoulder. The poor guy. Markus hadn’t told him the whole story yet, so he’d assumed Liv was the nanny. He was such a perfectionist and ran such a strict household with everything in its place—this would be very stressful for him. “You go home. We can take care of this in the morning, and when you’re back, we’ll have a talk about all of this.”
Petro threw up his hands. “You cannot wake up to a mess like this! I will not allow it! I do not believe this woman knows how to take care of a household. No, I will stay and put things in order. Just make sure she doesn’t come near me! She doesn’t even speak Greek!” He finished in disgust.
The older man continued picking up bags and bottles, and Markus couldn’t hold back a small grin. There was never any point arguing with Petro. “Where is Olivia?”
His housekeeper waved a hand in the direction of the east wing. “In with the babies. I think one’s asleep, thank God! They’ve been crying since you left! They are such beautiful little things and deserve to have someone take care of them who knows what she’s doing!”
As Markus stole quietly up the corridor, the knowledge of Liv struggling with the girls while he was gone sent a bolt of guilt through him. He knew how hard it was, being alone with two babies, the feelings of panic and inadequacy, and this was all so new for her.
He hoped it hadn’t been as bad as Petro had described.
Everything was silent as he stood by the babies’ bedroom door. A single lamp sent a cozy butter glow across the room, but his gaze stalled on the form of Liv, in a rocking chair, her lips moving in a whisper to the bundle in her arms. The power and the beauty of it sent a grip of want to his soul, and he quickly stepped back into the shadows so she wouldn’t see him.
Her deep gold curls fell in messy ringlets around her shoulders, and the rhythm of her rocking caused them to move and glint in the light. She’d always been beautiful, but it wasn’t her face or her body that touched him deeply now, it was the calm, gentle way she rocked and whispered, rocked and whispered, as if she poured her heart and soul into the child in her arms.
Sorrow ran swift through his veins—sorrow that it was precisely this patience, this taking time in love, that she’d denied him in the past. In the end, it had been her desire not to stop running, not to show her deepest love, that had changed his world forever.
He’d loved this woman. With his heart and soul and breath, he’d loved this woman. And she’d left him without looking back.
The fact she was now so obviously capable of dropping everything for someone she felt strongly about made him wonder if everything she’d said this afternoon, everything she’d promised, might be true after all.
But he couldn’t allow himself to hope.
She looked up, her eyes heavy, exhaustion evident in her slow movements. “Markus. Is that you?” she whispered.
He stepped out confidently, as if he’d just arrived, instead of watching her every move. “I’m sorry I took so long.”
“It’s okay,” she said softly. “I’ve been trying to imagine what it’d be like if I had to look after the girls on my own.” She stood and carefully placed the baby in the crib next to her sister’s. “I would never have imagined it’d be so exhausting.”
He watched as she leaned over to tuck the soft pink blankets under the mattress, and then she straightened and turned to him. “It makes me realize what you’ve been through.”
The softness in her eyes sweetened the bitterness he’d tasted a moment ago, and he couldn’t bring himself to look away from it. The longer she held his stare, the quicker his pulse became at his temples. Finally, she turned back to the crib. “Can you believe how gorgeous they look when they’re asleep?”
She was stunning. Despite the way her shoulders sagged from exhaustion and her hair sat wildly about her shoulders—in fact, because of those things, and because she was doing what she’d said she would, being here and constant and responsible for Phoebe and Zoë—Markus wanted to turn her to him and lose himself in her kiss and her body as he’d done so many times before.
He took a step forward, wanting to tell her what seeing her like this meant to him.
Rubbing her small hands across her eyes, she said, “I’m going to bed. I asked Petro to move me closer to the babies so I can hear them in the night.” She pointed out the open door and across the hallway to the blue room, the one right next to the master bedroom. “I hope you don’t mind.”
His pulse spiked. She couldn’t stay there, only inches from his own bed. He’d put her in the west wing for a reason. To keep him away from temptation and trouble. It was enough that she was in his house, but to think of her lying warm in sleep—only the sheerest negligee covering her milky skin—was too much for his vivid imagination.
“You don’t need to move. I’ll do the night feeds,” he said. “I’ve got a routine worked out where I have the bottles ready, and when one baby wakes, I wake the other so I only get up once, twice at the most. You’ve done enough already, and I don’t need to go out to work tomorrow. We can move your things back to the other room then.”
Again, she looked directly into his eyes, and the connection sent a jolt of deep familiarity to his heart. “I want to do this together, Markus. I really do. We’ll be able to get the feedin
g done faster if we do it together, and I want you to show me what you’ve learned. You’ve spent enough time doing this on your own. I’m here to help now.”
Smile lines bracketed her mouth. She wasn’t shutting him out, wasn’t trying to take complete control. He touched her arm and the shock of feeling her body again, warm and delicate, sent waves of desire pulsing through him. “Thank you for doing this,” he said. “Thank you for being here.”
She leaned toward him slightly. “I’d do anything for the girls.” And with her words, he was shunted back to reality. She hadn’t come here for him; this wasn’t the fantasy he’d dreamed of. Liv was here for Phoebe and Zoë, nothing more, and he had to keep remembering that.
They both turned as Petro came into the hallway and loudly opened and shut a linen press without looking at them.
“I did what you said,” Liv said to the older man, and he peered slowly around the door. “I rocked them both in the chair and they eventually fell asleep.”
Petro muttered something and moved toward her with a pile of clean wraps. “You might need these in the night,” he said gruffly, before turning and walking back down the hallway.
“Don’t mind him,” Markus said as he gently guided her into the blue room. “I haven’t explained everything to him yet. He’s become very protective of the girls and will be wondering what you’re doing here. I’ll explain who you are tomorrow.”
He switched on a lamp and led her to the bed; her suitcase sat, unopened, at the end of it.
“He pretended he didn’t speak English for a long time,” Liv said, a grin tugging at her cheek. “It was only after we couldn’t settle the girls that he gave me his piece of advice.”
“He’ll come around. We’ll sort out a routine for the girls tomorrow. You’re exhausted and need some sleep. I’ll go and get their bottles ready now, so when they wake in the night, we’ll be ready.”
A Family for Good : A sweet, small town, second chance romance (Tall Dark and Driven Book 6) Page 5