Fabricating Jada

  "Yeah."

  "Drive straight here. I'll have Rick waiting at the gate."

  My voice shook as tears streamed down my face. "Okay."

  I guess I'd paid enough attention on my way there that getting back seemed to happen on autopilot. It was a miracle in and of itself. As soon as I pulled up to the gate of the subdivision, Rick was standing out front next to a police cruiser with its lights on. He waved me through the gate without my having to stop. I lifted a trembling hand in a small wave and sped past him. Whatever the speed limit was—I blew past it so I could get to the house as soon as possible.

  Jesse was pacing in his driveway as I pulled in. He pulled the door open as soon as I put the car in park. "Hey, it's over. Come here."

  I lost the small amount of reserved calmness I had as I got out and threw myself into his arms. He held me tight against him as I broke down sobbing. "Shhh. It's okay. I've got you."

  And he did. He scooped me into his arms and carried me inside. As soon as we were in the living room, he set me on the couch and DeAnna and Debbie rushed to our side. "Oh, sweetie!" Debbie cried out and ran for the kitchen.

  "Those assholes!" DeAnna snapped and sat down on the edge of the couch near me.

  Jesse was gentle to pull his hat off my head. My attempt to turn the throbbing side of my face away from him failed. I don't know why I felt the need to hide it, but I knew it would upset him, and part of me felt ashamed it'd happened at all. He dropped to his knees in front of me and cupped my chin, turning it back to him.

  Our eyes locked in a heated stare. "I thought you said you were okay?" he demanded.

  Tears continued to steak my face as I sucked in shuddered breaths. "I am."

  Sliding his hand up my cheek, he stroked the skin just under my eye gently, causing me to flinch away. "You're not. You already have a black eye. What happened?" His voice was velvety and soft. A stark contrast to what I'd expected his reaction to be.

  I sniffed and took another deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "One of them hit me with his camera trying to take a picture. The other ones were grabbing and pulling at me. Everything erupted into chaos. Carter broke a camera too. Oh Gosh, Carter!"

  DeAnna rubbed my back softly. "I just talked to her. She had to make a stop and then she's on her way here."

  My emotions were scattered, but I felt a sense of relief through the guilt of leaving there without her, that she got out of there okay.

  Jesse pulled my forehead to his lips for a long kiss. He sighed against my skin and dropped his forehead to mine. "I'm sorry. I never should have let you go alone. I knew something like this would happen and I wasn't there to protect you."

  Reaching out to stroke his cheek, I sighed. "It's not your job to protect me, Jess. I wasn't a total wuss—I guess I was kind of a badass when I elbowed the jerk in the gut."

  He snorted. "Was that before or after he clocked you with a camera?"

  I shrugged and cracked a much needed smile. "Why are you bringing up old stuff?"

  Debbie sat down next to me on the couch and passed me an icepack. "Here, sweetie, put this on your face. It's already starting to swell." She swatted Jesse away to give me space.

  Reluctantly, he moved to the opposite couch as his mom and sister fawned all over me. The look in his eyes was a mixture of vulnerability and angst. "They crossed a line the second they put their hands on you and I'm going to have someone's head over it."

  "Jesse, calm down. Now is not the time to do anything," Debbie said in a calming tone.

  I held the icepack to my face and flinched from its coldness. Debbie's hands covered mine. "Keep it there, sweetie. The faster you get the swelling down, the better off you"ll be."

  "DeAnna, get online and see what's been put up already. I want to know who's responsible for this because I'm not letting it go. You don't hit a woman or manhandle her because you think you can. If he wants to manhandle someone, I'll show him how it's done." Jesse's mouth was pulled into a hard line.

  The knowing glance Jesse and his mom shared gave me pause and made me wonder if it had anything to do with what he'd said at my parents' house that night … but it wasn't my business to ask.

  Just as Dee got up to what I assumed was do what Jesse said, the doorbell rang.

  Jesse was out of his seat and halfway to the door before DeAnna could even think about answering it.

  The sound of Carter's voice in the foyer made me slump into Debbie as the unexpected voice of my mother made me cry out in relief.

  Sometimes a girl just needed her mom, and I was happier than ever to see her rush to my side.

  "Oh, love! Are you okay?" she asked and wrapped me in a side hug.

  I winced from the pressure, my body starting to feel the aftereffects of being shoved around.

  Immediately she released me and checked me over. "What did they do to you? Oh, Jada! I'm so sorry!"

  My emotions were shot. I didn't have a response. I couldn't speak. So I laid my head across her lap, still holding the icepack to my face and curled up into a ball. She stroked my hair back gently like she used to when I was a kid and felt sick.

  Carter plopped down on the floor right in front of me. "You look like someone hit you with a ball bat in the face, chica."

  "Carter!" my mom snapped.

  I snorted out a bubble of laughter. Man, I loved her. Leave it to my best friend to make me laugh when I needed it the most.

  She held her hands up in defense with wide-eyed fake innocence. "What?"

  "She can cry if she wants to," my mom said still stroking my hair. It felt too good to move from the position I was in.

  Jesse sat on the arm of the couch across from me, watching in silence. His face was still hard lines and harsher angles, but it was his eyes that gave him away. They held a vulnerability in them that made me want to hug him close.

  Carter made an incoherent noise. "She needs to take her lady balls out of her purse. I refuse to let those douche canoes make her a victim. You're too tough to crumble, homie. So feel the woe and then suck it up."

  I laughed again, knowing she was right.

  A snort came from Jesse's side of the room. When I glanced in his direction, his lips were twisted into a small smirk.

  "No wonder you and DeAnna get along," Debbie said with a small smile.

  My mom shook her head. "I don't know about you sometimes, Carter."

  DeAnna was chewing on her bottom lip, looking as if it was causing her pain to not laugh.

  Those two were going to be trouble together. The events of the day caught up with me as my eyes fluttered closed.

  "Do you think we should keep her awake in case she has a concussion?" my mom asked softly.

  Jesse's gruff voice cut through the air. "Let her sleep. She wasn't complaining of a headache, or being dizzy and hasn't vomited. She'll be fine."

  "Why don't you come into the kitchen for some coffee and we'll let her rest," Debbie said to my mom.

  Someone moved me on the couch, and I was too tired to open my eyes and see, even though I could hear everything going on around me.

  I'd dozed off at some point, only to wake up to voices coming from the kitchen. My mom and Debbie were talking, and being the Nosey Nelly I was … I lay there with my eyes closed and strained to listen even though everything was sore.

  "I don't know how to break the cycles with him unless I leave. He knows that the position our family has been in largely sits on his shoulders. It's not like we were rich by any standards before he lost his leg, but we weren't relying on our child to help support us." The sadness in my mom's voice made me ache.

  Debbie sighed. "I've been where you are to a degree. I may not have relied on my kids financially when they were younger, but I did rely on them emotionally because of the abusive situation I was in. When you're knee-deep in it—it's hard to look at the situation objectively."

  "Mom, you act like you were a bad mother and you weren't. You did everything you could for us," DeAnna said. "And Mrs. Carmen, maybe
you've relied on Jada too much—but I don't think you're a bad mom either. You made it possible for her to follow her dreams in the way you could."

  I heard my mom sniff and could see in my mind the way she always dotted her eyes with a tissue. "I don't know if she'll ever forgive me for the things I've done. It's pretty pathetic that I haven't stood up for her more and done more so she could live her life. How did I not see that?"

  The pain in her voice hurt to listen to, and I couldn't sit by idly without saying something.

  I opened my eyes and looked around the living room, catching Jesse at the end of the couch.

  The look in his eyes and stupid smirk on his face told me he knew I was awake. "Eavesdropping again are we, Jane?"

  My cheeks flushed hot at being caught. "Again?" I asked, giving my best attempt to look innocent.

  I sat up and stretched out my achy limbs. Jesse was in reach once I was upright and brushed my hair back from my face. "How you feelin'?"

  "Sore, but okay. Did you stay in here with me the whole time?"

  He lifted his shoulders in a dismissive shrug and got to his feet, offering me his hands.

  Helping me stand, we stood chest to chest, well more like chest to stomach and our eyes locked in a heated stare. Our hands were still together between us. Moments like this made my stomach flutter.

  "We should get in there," he said gruffly.

  I nodded in agreement, noticing Carter asleep on the opposite couch for the first time. There was no point in waking her up and there was no way I could continue to let my mom beat herself up any more than she already was.

  We walked into the kitchen as our moms continued to talk. Debbie noticed me first. "You're awake!"

  My mom whipped around in her chair. "You should be resting, love."

  I waved them both away and moved to sit next to my mom at the table. "I'm fine."

  Guilt seemed to be consuming my mother from the hunch of her shoulders to the look on her face.

  It was time to come clean about what I'd heard. "I woke up a few minutes ago and heard part of your conversation. I don't hate you mom and it's not like I've had a bad life. But I don't know that I can go back to the way things were before—"

  She covered my hands with hers. "And I don't want you to. I know now that there's so much life has to offer you and I want you to seize every opportunity and flourish like I know you will."

  The smile she wore was hopeful.

  "What about dad?"

  Her lips pulled into a hard line. "That's up to him. He knows he screwed up a lot and I told him that if he's not willing to change, I'll leave … I've allowed us to live in this awful cycle of his abuse and always made excuses for him because he's sick. I'm not going to lose you because of it. You've shown me I'm stronger than that because of how strong you are."

  Moisture filled my eyes as I launched myself at her for a hug. "Okay"

  "Okay?" she asked as if she wasn't sure I'd really meant it.

  I nodded. "Yeah. Let's move forward."

  She squeezed me tight, not seeming to notice my grimace from the pressure. It was a step in the right direction. For the first time since our fight, I felt like there was hope and knew deep down we'd repair our relationship, hopefully making it even stronger than it was before.

  After everyone left we all went to bed, only I couldn't sleep. It was after three, and I tossed and turned unable to turn my mind off. Throwing the covers off in a huff, I decided to go downstairs for something to drink. As soon as I opened my door, I ran smack dab into Jesse's bare chest in the hallway outside my room with an "Oof."

  He reached out to steady me. "I didn't wake you up, did I?" he asked in a sleepy rasp.

  "No. I couldn't sleep. Is something wrong?" I asked, still holding onto the tattooed masterpieces he called arms.

  "I couldn't sleep either."

  I gestured toward the stairs. "I was going to get something to drink, do you want anything?"

  "Sure."

  At that point, it hadn't registered that I was wearing an oversized T-shirt and panties only. His shirt to be exact and it barely covered my bottom. It wasn't until I let go of him and headed to the kitchen, half expecting him to follow me. When he didn't, I grabbed us two bottles of water out of the fridge and headed back upstairs. I figured he'd gone back to his room, so I walked right past my room until movement caught the corner of my eye. Stopping in my tracks, I backed up slowly and peeked around the door.

  Jesse was sitting on the edge of my bed with his head in his hands. "Here," I said and offered him a bottle.

  He grunted a thanks and accepted it, taking a long swig.

  I sat down next to him, my thigh pressed against his and nudged his shoulder. "What's on your mind? You look upset about something."

  "I need to apologize to you about tonight. I'm sorry—about everything. I should have been there. I promised myself I wasn't going to let you be subjected to more bullshit after the first time and look at what happened." His voice was calm but still had that raspy tone.

  Laying my head against his arm felt natural, so I went with it. "It's okay, Jesse." I looked up and gave him a reassuring grin.

  The hard look on his face, softened a bit. "When I was sixteen, I started working with Drew. After a month I was hooked. Everything having to do with metal became my life. I'd stay in his shop for hours working on anything I could get my hands on. The deal my mom had with me was I had to call home to check in every hour once she was home from work. And because I usually ended up staying at Drew's until midnight, even though he was just down the street—I thought it was a good, fair trade."

  He paused with a faraway look as I watched him with rapt attention, hoping he'd continue.

  After a while he did. "One night at about eight o'clock I called the house and no one answered. I figured she was in the shower or doing something and missed the phone. This was before texting or anything else. I left a message on the answering machine and then got wrapped up in what I was doing. Drew came out at nine and told me it was time to check in again. So I did—and again, no one answered."

  Dread settled in the pit of my stomach, not wanting the story to take a turn in the direction I had a feeling it would. "Where was DeAnna during all of this?"

  Jesse breathed out a heavy sigh. "I think she was at a friend's house or something. She was never home. The third time I called with no answer I started to get worried and told Drew I was going to go see if my mom was home. Something didn't feel right in my gut so I sprinted home."

  "What happened?" I asked on a whisper.

  He growled, that low menacing growl that made the little hairs on my arm stand on end. "I found the asshole my mom had been seeing on and off—kicking the shit out of her in the middle of our living room as my mom whimpered and withered in pain." His voice shook as he told me the rest. "I don't remember much after that, only that when Drew showed up and pulled me off the guy, his face was covered in blood and I'd shattered the leg he'd been kicking her with. So when you called—all I could think about was that day and that some asshole pap had you pinned somewhere you couldn't get out of. And I wasn't there to protect you. I was able to help my mom before it was too late, but I let you down."

  Tears slipped down my cheeks for his mom and for him. I had no idea how much I'd actually put him through by getting hurt by those stupid jerks. "Jesse, I'm sorry you and your mom went through that and I'm sorry I made you relive that tonight, but you didn't let me down. Not even a little bit."

  He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his chest. "I'm not telling you this so you feel guilty about what happened—I'm just glad you're okay."

  The fear I'd forgotten about from earlier stirred like a lit piece of kindling ready to catch fire. "I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life."

  Shifting us onto the bed the rest of the way, I settled into his warm chest.

  "I know," he rumbled under my chin.

  I wobbled my head back and forth. "I don't understand why they
do that. It's like they don't have any respect for boundaries or even realize accosting someone is wrong."

  His fingers trailed up and down my back, soothing me. "They're vultures. But I can promise you I will never let it happen again."

  I lifted my chin off his chest and looked at his face. "I know."

  Jesse shook his head slightly. "No one will ever touch you again."

  Between his touch and the soothing tone of his voice, I felt content. It was a ridiculous notion how safe I felt in his arms, but he had a calmness that quieted my nerves. I laid my head back on Jesse's chest and listened to the thump thump of his heart until I fell asleep.

  I woke up alone to the sound of my alarm, remembering the warmth of Jesse's body wrapped around mine at some point. The problem was I couldn't remember if my shirt riding up and his hands caressing my skin from my waist to my hips was real or if I'd dreamt it.

  Pushing the thoughts from my mind, I got up and got ready for the day. According to the doctor, I had another day left to take it easy, and while my face hurt, and my arm was sore, it still looked good despite a few extra bruises. I was bursting at the seams, and the last dose of my antibiotics would get washed down with my coffee and that would be that.

  As soon as I hit the stairs, I smelled the coffee. Jesse was leaning against the counter in a black pair of work pants and a white T-shirt, in the same spot he'd been the day I'd tried and failed to seduce him. DeAnna was going over stuff in her calendar as I walked into the room.

  "Morning, sunshine. I didn't expect to see you up," she said with a look of surprise.

  I shrugged and headed for the coffee. "I'm going stir crazy."

  Half of me hoped we'd play the same game we had before, but the logical side of my brain screamed at me to stop getting attached to him. It needed to be a business relationship as much as it could possibly be with our weird arrangement. As I approached him, he kept his eyes glued to mine, but he slid completely out of the way. "Thanks," I mumbled, mad at myself for being disappointed.

  I was met with the grunt and nothing more.