To the whole amazing crew in London: a tremendous thanks for your boundless enthusiasm and fantastic ideas on everything from this book’s inception to publication. We’ve been working together for over a decade now, and I feel so indebted to (and adoring of) my entire British family. At Harper Collins, thank you to Kate Elton, Lynne Drew, Claire Bord, and Louise Swannell. At Curtis Brown, a million thanks to Vivienne Schuster, Betsy Robbins, Sophie Baker, and Claire Nozieres.
To friends who were so generous with their time and expertise: Wendy Finerman, Hillary Irwin, Matthew Hiltzik, Josh Wolfe, Kyle White, Ludmilla Suvorova, and all my girlfriends, whether here in New York or elsewhere—I’m sending you each a huge hug and a plea to meet for drinks soon. Like, tomorrow.
Words can’t express the gratitude I feel for Mallory Stehle and Tracy Larry, without whom this book would literally never have happened. You will be part of our family, always.
Mom, Dad, and Dana: I love you so much. Thanks for keeping me grounded and (semi) sane, and for all the ways you offer help, encouragement, and most important, a good laugh—and always have. Thank you to my whole family, for your constant cheering and understanding and always knowing when not to ask about work: Bernie, Judy, Seth, Sadie, Grandma, Papa, Jackie, Mel, Allison, Dave, Sydney and Emma. The past couple years have been crazy, and we never could have survived it (or enjoyed the wild ride) without each and every one of you.
And most of all, thank you to my husband, Mike, who makes everything possible. This book would have never been more than a fleeting fancy without your support, suggestions, ideas, and careful reads at every stage. Thank you isn’t enough for all the ways, big and small, you make my life—all our lives—complete. To R and S, thank you for bringing me more joy than I ever could have imagined. It is impossible not to smile when you’re near me. I love you three with all my heart.
LAUREN WEISBERGER is the New York Times bestselling author of The Devil Wears Prada, which was published in forty languages and made into a major motion picture starring Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway. Weisberger’s three other novels, Everyone Worth Knowing, Chasing Harry Winston, and Last Night at Chateau Marmont, were all New York Times bestsellers. A graduate of Cornell University, she lives in New York City with her husband and two children. Visit laurenweisberger.com.
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2013 by Lauren Weisberger
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First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition June 2013
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Jacket design by Jackie Seow
Jacket art: Tail by Shasti O’Leary; Fabric by Michael Goldman/Getty
Author photograph by Mike Cohen Photography
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978-1-4391-3663-8
ISBN 978-1-4391-4695-8 (ebook)
contents
Chapter 1: As Long As She Lived
Chapter 2: Learning to Love the Hamptons: 2009
Chapter 3: You’re Walking, Sister
Chapter 4: And It’s Official!
Chapter 5: I’d Hardly Call It Dating
Chapter 6: Writing the Obit Doesn’t Make It True
Chapter 7: Boys Will Be Boys
Chapter 8: No David’s Bridal, No Baby’s Breath, No Dyeable Shoes of Any Kind
Chapter 9: Virgin Piñas All Around
Chapter 10: One Half of a Robe Made for Two
Chapter 11: More or Less Famous Than Beyoncé?
Chapter 12: Trumped-up Harassment Charges Plus a Straitjacket or Two
Chapter 13: I Could Easily Be Dead by Then
Chapter 14: Miranda Priestly All but Called You Gorgeous
Chapter 15: I’m Here to Tell you That Not Not-Trying Is Trying
Chapter 16: Give Him a Test Drive
Chapter 17: James Bond Meets Pretty Woman, with a Little Dash of Mary Poppins
Chapter 18: Stop Talking and Step Away
Chapter 19: Ceviche and Snakeskin: A Night of Terror
Chapter 20: A Shipping Container of Botox
Chapter 21: In Your Own Best Interest
Chapter 22: Details, Details
Chapter 23: Cougar Mama to a Golden-Bronze Man-Boy
Chapter 24: That’s All
Acknowledgments
About Lauren Weisberger
Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns Page 38