by Kate Benson
Fallen
Kate Benson
COPYRIGHT © 2020 BY KATE BENSON
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED NO PART OF THIS BOOK MAY BE REPRODUCED OR TRANSMITTED IN ANY FORM OR BY ANY MEANS, ELECTRONIC OR MECHANICAL, INCLUDING PHOTOCOPYING, RECORDING, OR BY ANY INFORMATION STORAGE AND RETRIEVAL SYSTEM WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE AUTHOR, EXCEPT FOR THE USE OF BRIEF QUOTATIONS IN A BOOK REVIEW.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Formatting by Down Write Nuts © 2020
Created with Vellum
Contents
For
Preface
1. evie
2. evie
3. dash
4. evie
5. dash
6. dash
7. dash
8. evie
9. evie
10. dash
11. dash
12. evie
13. dash
14. evie
15. dash
16. evie
17. dash
18. dash
19. dash
20. evie
21. evie
22. dash
23. evie
24. dash
25. dash
26. evie
27. evie
28. dash
29. evie
30. dash
31. evie
32. dash
33. dash
34. evie
35. evie
Epilogue
Afterword
About the Author
Acknowledgments
also by kate benson
Happy belated 40th to the little girl who dared to dream.
You’re not writing about pickles anymore, kiddo.
Shine on, you crazy weirdo.
I’m so fucking proud of you.
To Angie ‘Boomtastic’ Tucker for always
being my biggest fan.
I hope you know I’m yours, too, babe.
#BoomBoomRoomAmbassador
And for Gorgeous George.
I just love the shit right outta you.
Preface
“Baby!”
-George Michael, Faith
One
evie
The better part of an hour has come and gone, but I can say with quite certainty, time has done nothing to calm the unease coursing through me. I move to the mirror, reaching for a paper towel and wetting it to pat the skin at the back of my neck, praying it helps to ease the newest wave of nausea to roll over me.
“Okay, so you’re probably pregnant. Who cares? It’s not even that big a deal,” I breathe, facing my reflection and taking a half step back to inspect myself. “Just keep your mouth shut. It’s only an hour with the reps. You just have to focus on that right now. You’re fine. You can freak out about this later,” I continue, my eyes locked on my midsection. “Get through this part and you can just go get a test,” I nod nervously, meeting my eyes once more. “Then, you just have to tell Dash,” I exhale, hating the shake in my voice. “And he’ll obviously freak out and head for Mexico, completely abandoning you and your unborn child, but who cares? It’s fine, Evie,” I manage, my lower lip quivering with nerves as I stare down at my hands, chipping away a piece of paint I’d missed before. “You’re fine. You can totally raise a baby on your own,” I sniff. “You don’t even need him.”
My eyes move back toward the mirror and although my own uncertainty is flowing faster than sangria freshman year, in this moment, there’s one thing I know as fact.
This pep talk is bullshit and I am anything but fucking fine right now.
My phone begins to blare in my hand, making me jump. I glance down to find Dash’s picture flashing over the screen, making my stomach do another somersault.
“Fuck…” I whisper, biting the inside of my cheek before I hit answer and my eyes begin to flutter shut. “Hey, babe.”
“Hi, pussycat,” he replies, the smile obvious in his voice. “Are you okay?”
“Mhmm,” I nod, collecting myself as I lean against the sink, eyes snapped shut. “I’m fine.”
Liar.
“You sure?” he asks. I don’t have to see him to know his eyebrows are quirking together in disbelief at my bullshit half-answer.
“Yeah,” I lie, willing my voice to remain even. “I’m fine,” I repeat, rolling my own eyes before I feel them flutter shut once more. “Why would you ask me that? Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know,” he starts. “I know you’re nervous about the reps and I’ve been knocking on your door for five minutes.”
“What?” I ask, my eyes popping open, immediately traveling toward the now ominous doorframe. “You’re here?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Are you gonna let me in or what?”
I silently brace myself before I swing the door open, taking in the amusement in his green eyes as he pulls the phone from his ear, ending the call and smirking back at me.
“Should I come back when you’re done on your call?” he asks, gesturing toward the phone I’m still holding to my ear, smiling wider at my blush. “You about ready?”
“Mhmm,” I nod, the delicious sight of the long, dark strands on top of his head falling over his brow making my chest clench. He’s just going to completely freak out, I think for what feels like the fiftieth time in my head. “I just have to grab my…”
“Come here,” he cuts me off, his fingers gripping my elbow and turning me gently to face him.
“What’s up?” I ask nervously as he takes the step that separates us.
“Nothing’s up,” he admits, bending to press his lips to mine before pulling me close to his chest. “I just wanted to tell you how proud I am,” he continues, squeezing me tighter, his warm, masculine scent infiltrating my resolve. His palms move deliciously over my back, one of them coming to a stop at the top of my ass. “You were amazing out there,” he whispers, pulling away to meet my gaze. “You took my breath away, little monster.”
His full lips press to mine and claims my kiss, claims my very sanity, as he grips my chin.
My knees go weak instantly.
Be strong, stupid, I remind myself. How do you think you ended up in this position?
“Thanks,” I manage as I pull away abruptly, shaking my head clear and moving to the opposite side of the room. “Are you ready to go? I can’t be late.”
“Yeah,” he replies, his voice shifting just slightly at my reaction. If he freaks out and bolts on me, I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I shake the thought away again, clearing my throat and making a beeline toward the door, refusing to meet his eyes. “Hey,” he says, his deep voice cutting through my paranoid thoughts as he holds the door shut, pulling my eyes back to his. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Of course,” I lie, giving him the best smile I can manage in my duress. “Never been better.”
dash
“Did you ask her yet?” Mason asks as he approaches me an hour later, pulling both my thoughts and my eyes from Evie.
“What?”
“Evie,” he clarifies, his expression annoyed. “Did you ask her for that girl’s number yet?”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, sipping from the watered-down drink I’d gotten at the bar a half hour ago before I planted myself in the corner, desperate to blend in enough to be left alone. “What girl?”
“Dude, it’s like you don’t even try to listen to me,” he accuses, shaking his head. “That hot brunette she was talking to before the show. Molly or Ma
gda or whatever her name is.”
“Magda?” I ask, making a face. “You mean Megan?” I smirk, making him nod. “The chick she was sharing her dressing room with?”
“Yeah. We talked about it for like ten minutes before you went back to get Eve,” he reminds me with a sigh. “You didn’t ask her, did you?”
“No.”
“Why the hell not?” he demands.
“Because first of all, I forgot,” I admit. “Second, what grade are you in? You want to fuck the girl, just go over there and talk to her.”
“I can’t, man!” he exclaims, ignoring my eye roll. “You know you’re better at talking to women than I am.”
“By leaps and bounds, but no means no, man,” I insist with a snort. “Besides, even if I wanted to, Evie’s been acting weird all night. I’m not asking shit about another woman right now.”
“Why not?” he asks again, this time, his eyebrows furrowing in annoyance.
“Because I like my fuckin’ nuts, man,” I reply, finally turning to face him.
“Dude,” he smirks. “Are you scared of her?”
“Hell yes!” I admit, pulling a loud laugh from his chest. “Listen, you might think of her as your sweet little angel of a sister, but you and your mom ruined that girl,” I insist, glancing back out at her. “You laugh all you want, but you can kiss my ass while you’re doing it, Mase. There’s no way in hell I’m walking over there and asking her for some other girl’s fuckin’ phone number.”
“This is a real load of shit,” he shakes his head, making me quirk my eyebrow. “Yeah, it is!” he insists, not waiting for my argument. “You should go over there and ask her for me. Just in the last month alone, I’ve overlooked a lot of shit for you.”
“Like what?”
“Uh… how ‘bout you bangin’ my sister?” he raises his eyebrows.
“Yeah,” I scoff. “Yeah, you took that really fuckin’ well.”
“I’ve decided to let you live. You’re welcome,” he says dramatically before pointing toward the brunette again. “Now you walk your ungrateful ass over there and get her freakin’ number for me. It’s the least you could do.”
“Alright man. I’m gonna go take a piss,” I ignore him, giving his arm a brotherly pat. “Tell Evie where I’m at if she comes looking.”
“Asshole,” he whispers harshly, pulling laughter from my chest as I make my way toward the men’s room.
When I step back out into the swanky area we’d spent the last two hours in, I’m surprised to find Evie standing right outside the door. She’s on her phone typing furiously, the sound of the text alert slipping out of my pocket pulling her blue eyes up to mine.
“There you are,” she says, only a semblance of relief in her gaze. “I was looking for you and I asked Mason and he said some weird shit and stormed off.”
“That’s Mason for you,” I smirk, resting my hand on her waist. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah,” she nods, the way she pulls away surprising me again, but I brush it off to the stressful day she’s just had. “Yeah, I think the bulk of it’s all done. Most of the reps are gone. Now, it’s just annoying couples gushing all over each other,” she sighs, the couple baby-talking to each other behind us making her roll her eyes and I can’t help but laugh. “I gotta get out of here.”
“Are you sure, babe?” I tease, watching her nostrils flare with annoyance. “Babe-”
“Oh, my God! Stop!” she cuts me off with a slow smirk. “Please let’s go.”
“Okay,” I chuckle through my reply, gesturing toward the small stack of cards she’s holding in one of her hands. “So, how’d it go?”
“Good, I guess,” she shrugs. “I mean, it went better than good. I got a ton of great offers, lots of interest.”
“If it went so well, why do you seem disappointed?” I ask, gently brushing a stray strand of hair from her face.
“It’s nothing,” she starts, earning a look before she relents with a sigh. “I didn’t hear anything from The Big Fish.”
“You will,” I promise, pressing my lips to her hair. This time when she pulls away nervously, it’s not so easy to brush it off. “You good?”
“Mhmm,” she nods, chewing on her lip and looking away for a minute. “I wish my mom hadn’t left so quickly,” she sighs, her chest falling slightly. “I barely got to talk to her all night.”
“You’ll be able to see her tomorrow,” I reason before I reach for her hand and lead her toward the exit. I glance down at her, taking in her still anxious features and my feet come to a slow stop of their own accord. “Hey,” I say quietly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “You sure you’re alri-?”
“Yes, Dash. I’m fine,” she cuts me off, her short tone cocking my eyebrow in response, causing hers to soften. “Sorry,” she tries. “Yes, I’m alright. I’m just really stressed, insanely tired,” she explains. “It’s been a crazy long day and people are getting on my nerves.”
“All your stuff is already either in my car or Mason’s, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s head home then,” I pull her forward once more. “You’ll feel better once you get some sleep and I’ll feel better once I get some you.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” she yawns, following me out and releasing a long, cleansing sigh as we step into the parking lot. “I just have to make one stop on the way.”
Two
evie
“I’m not trying to argue with you, babe,” he replies, shaking his head in annoyance as we approach his Mustang. “I just don’t know what you could possibly need from a drugstore in Austin that’s so important, we have to go at midnight, but so much ‘not a big deal’ that you won’t tell me why we’re going.”
“Why do I have to tell you everything?” I insist, releasing a long, exhausted breath. “Why can’t you just take me to freakin’ Walgreens without giving me the third degree?”
“You don’t have to tell me. I just asked a simple question and you jumped down my throat,” he counters. “I’m sorry you’re fuckin’ tired, but if you think I’m going to let you be shitty to me all night, you’re wrong.”
“I’m not being shitty to you, Dash.”
“Bullshit,” he cuts me off. “Your attitude has been funky as shit since you came back out here, Evie.”
“How? How has it been funky as shit?” I demand. “Have I called you names? Been blatantly mean to you?”
“No, but-”
“Then what exactly have I done that’s so terrible, Dash?” I cut him off this time. “What horrible, shitty thing could I have possibly done in the last ten minutes I’ve actually been able to talk to you that’s worth starting a fight in the parking lot over?”
“You started this fight, Evie!” he insists, his eyes wide in disbelief. “I just asked why you wanted to go to fuckin’ Walgreens and this happened!” he continues, his ink-splayed arms gesturing toward me dramatically. “Seriously, baby. What the fuck is going on with you right now?”
I stare back at him, knowing he’s right and hating every bit of it. Yet, I also know I can’t tell him about the impending meltdown I’ve been experiencing since I got to my room. If the test is negative, telling him now will do nothing but send him spiraling into the same pit of anxiety I’ve called home for the better part of three hours. If it’s positive though…
Jesus Christ, what if it’s positive?
Images of his panic-stricken features staring back at me through his rearview as he heads for Mexico while I sob in the middle of the Walgreens parking lot pop into my mind. Immediately, I swallow the knot in my throat and know this is one secret I have no choice but to keep.
At least for now.
I’d never keep it from him forever. The truth is, if the test tells me what I think it will, he’ll know before I’ve even had time to process anything myself. However, as much as he’s progressed over the last few months, as far as he’s pushed his own boundaries for the sake of me, the sake of us, I know Dash Hunter.<
br />
I know what makes him tick. I know what makes him happy and turns him on. I know what pisses him off and I know exactly what scares the ever-loving shit out of him.
If I tell him my period is late, even by ten minutes, I may never see that gorgeous asshole again.
“Evie, you have to talk to me,” he says, his deep voice breaks through my thoughts and pulls me back to the dark parking lot as he takes a half step closer. He gazes down at me, his green eyes swimming in compassion, his touch, his voice, both softer than usual as he gently reaches for my cheek and tenderly brushes away the fallen tear I’d not noticed. God, sometimes he’s so sweet, I think to myself as I reach for his hand, resting my palm over his. Maybe I’m not giving him enough credit. Maybe we’ve both grown enough that I can tell him now, and he won’t freak out. I trust him. We can totally handle this. “Come on, pussycat,” he whispers, pulling a sigh from my chest. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“You’re an idiot,” I roll my eyes, pulling away from him instantly, only to feel his hand reaching for my elbow, spinning me back to face him. “You know what? Just forget it, Dash. I’ll call a fucking cab. I don’t even want you to take me anymore.”
“Why?” he insists, his eyes wide with annoyance. “Why are you going to stand your stubborn ass outside in the dark and waste money on a cab? Just so you don’t have to talk to me?”