by Kate Benson
evie
He carries me out to his car, my body heaving with emotion as the reality of this unexpected twist begins to rain down on me full force. Despite both my dramatic behavior and his own fears, Dash comforts me as much as I’ll let him, whispering sweet reassurances into my hair as he holds me tight in his arms. I don’t miss the way his fingers tremble as they move over my skin.
My God, I’m trembling, too.
Mason’s car is parked beside us, and I glance over Dash’s shoulder to see his conflicting expression. One side of me thinks he wants to offer his support. For a split second, though, the other side has me sure he’s going to rev the engine and run Dash down in the parking lot.
He doesn’t, though.
Instead, he takes a step toward us.
“Not right now, man,” Dash insists quietly, something about the emotional hitch in his voice stopping Mason altogether.
He nods, showing his own silent understanding and moves away from his spot between the cars, making way for Dash to open my door.
“Let me know if you need anything,” he says instead, pulling a nod from Dash as he steadies his hold on me and shifts slightly.
“Come on, baby,” he whispers into my hair. “Get in the car so I can take you home.”
“O-o-kay,” I manage, my words as staggered as my breathing, my shaking hands clinging to his shirt when he leans inside to help with my seatbelt.
“Shh… don’t cry, princess,” he croons, sitting closely beside me and pressing his lips to my forehead. “I promise everything’s gonna be alright.”
I’m not sure how, but instantly, if only for this moment, I believe him.
Six
dash
The sound of her soft voice spewing profanity between heaving is what wakes me from my broken sleep.
We’d had one hell of a night.
Between Evie’s performance, the stack of job offers rolling in and how somehow, they all took a backseat to the positive pregnancy test currently staring back at me from the small table on her side of the bed, it had been nothing short of a rollercoaster.
By the time she finally fell asleep, it was close to three a.m. and I couldn’t have been more exhausted. Unfortunately for both my mind and my nerves, that didn’t seem to matter.
I barely slept a wink.
While Evie was up and down most of the night making sprints to the bathroom, I was thinking about everything that was about to come.
I wish I could say I’m not scared shitless.
I wish I could say it didn’t bother me last night when she asked me if I was going to bolt.
More than that, I wish I could say the thought never once crossed my mind.
But I can’t say any of that.
I know I’d never leave her stranded, stuck alone to take care of our kid. But I also know what’s worked in the past. Shitty as it may have been, it was a whole lot easier not giving a fuck about anyone but me.
But this ain’t that.
I could never do anything that would break Evie’s heart. I damned sure could never do it to our kid.
I might be the product of a deadbeat dad, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever be one.
While I laid here last night staring at the ceiling, I kept looking for answers and only one had been staring me in the face from the jump.
I know exactly what I’ve got to do.
Maybe not all of it, but I do know what comes next.
I can’t be sure, but that might scare me more than anything.
I rake my hands over my face, a combination of stress, fear and nervousness swarming through my chest as the echo of her highness on the other side of the bathroom door pulls me back.
“Evie?” I call out. “You okay, sugar?”
“Oh, my God, baby,” she grumbles. “Please shut the fuck u-”
Her sweet words are cut short once more, the low groan leaving my lips mixed with amusement at her theatrics.
“There’s my darling little angel,” I whisper sarcastically to myself. I stretch out, my hand brushing over my stiff cock with regret as I release a long sigh. “No chance, buddy,” I yawn as I adjust myself once more and glance down to where my palm comes to a rest. “We’re on our own for at least a couple of hours.”
“Oh, my God,” Evie groans as she steps out, the same pink toothbrush that sent me into a panic attack not so long ago frozen between her teeth as her eyes narrow. “Are you in here talking to your dick?”
“Don’t worry, pussycat,” I husk, my lips curling up on either side. “We were talking about you.”
Her eyes shift lower to where my hand is still resting below the covers before she balks at me.
“Are you jerking off while I’m in there puking?”
“What? Because you’re puking, I can’t say good morning to The Captain?” I ask teasingly, grinning wide when she throws the towel she’s holding at my head. “No,” I chuckle. “I wasn’t cranking one out. I was just laying here thinking.”
“Oh,” she says, her cheeks reddening slightly before she turns away to rinse and shuts the light off behind her.
She climbs back in bed and scoots close to me, nuzzling into my chest and releasing a low hum when I wrap my arm around her shoulders.
“Are you alright?” I ask as I press my lips to her hair and pull her closer.
“Yeah,” she replies, her voice low as she hides her face in the crook of my arm. “I will be. I just hope it doesn’t stay like this the whole time.”
“I’m sorry,” I croon, moving my free hand to the thigh she’s resting over my waist to stroke her skin. “Maybe it’ll ease up soon.”
“I hope so,” she sighs. “Last night sucked. I can’t do this for months. I don’t think I slept more than a few hours.”
“Me, either,” I admit as my eyes settle on hers.
She searches my features for a moment, the thick feel of nerves in the air something she doesn’t miss and as she swallows hard, so do I.
“What were you thinking about?” she asks, her voice low.
“Stuff,” I whisper, my eyes moving lower as my palm slides up to rest on her stomach. “This.”
My eyes stay put, and so does her gaze on me. We say nothing for a long moment, my thoughts going a million miles an hour, hers still a mystery.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she finally asks, her soft voice breaking the silence between us.
“Yeah,” I nod, bracing myself with a deep breath. “Yeah, we probably need to.”
“So, what are you-”
“I think you should let me go first,” I cut her off, still unable to meet her eyes.
There’s a shake in my voice, one I hate but is subtle enough that I’m hoping she doesn’t hear it. A moment passes and finally, I gain enough courage to bring my gaze to her sea of blue and I find them determined, but nervous. Just as scared as mine. She says nothing, taking her turn to nod instead and I swallow hard once more, pushing fear like I’ve never known in my life back as far as I can before I slowly rise.
“Dash?”
“Sit up, pussycat,” I order quietly, unable to answer her just yet.
Her eyes begin to narrow slightly, watching me as I move away from her and make my way to the foot of the bed. She raises slowly, her hair still a mess from her restless night and I try and brave another glance toward her.
My stomach begins to jolt all over again.
Get your fuckin’ mind right, dude.
I come to a stop at the dresser and lean forward, my hands resting against the wooden top as I let it hold me steady for a minute.
You got this, man. You can do this.
I take a deep breath in and slowly, I push it out, doing what I can to calm myself. As I open my eyes once more, I can see her reflection in the mirror staring back at me, her head cocked slightly to one side.
“Are you o-?”
“Yep,” I cut her off again, nodding incessantly as I stand straight, rubbing my palms over my face once more. You’ve jum
ped out of planes. This ain’t shit. “Yeah, I’m good,” I lie again, pacing for a moment before I take another look back into the mirror, steeling myself. “Deep breaths,” I whisper to myself. “Deep, deep breaths.”
“Baby?”
“Just a second,” I manage, hating the crack still lingering in my voice. I avoid her gaze and jump up and down in place three times, pushing all the breath from my lungs out as I turn to face her before I lose my nerve. “Okay, I’m in,” I announce as I clear the distance between us in two quick steps and come to a stop in front of her. “I’m gonna do it.”
“In what?” she asks, swinging her legs around to dangle off the side of the bed. “What are we doing?”
“It, pussycat,” I blurt out. “It.”
“What the hell is it?”
“Married,” I answer, throwing my hands up in surrender. “I mean, that’s what we’re supposed to do now, isn’t it? Get married?” I ask. “That’s what you want, right?”
Her eyes go wide for a moment before she shakes her head clear and faces me. A dozen different emotions cross her exhausted features, her mouth even moves once, but nothing comes out.
Holy shit, I think. I finally shut her up.
“I figure we can go to the courthouse on Monday,” I start, forcing another deep breath out to keep the nausea at bay. “That’s where you have to do that shit, right? Downtow-?”
“Dash?” she finally manages, reaching for my hands and pulling me closer to her, her fingers slowly slipping into mine. “Baby, did you find my stash while I was asleep last night?”
“What?” I ask, unable to shake the smirk from my lips. “No.”
“Then why the fuck are you asking me to marry you right now?” she demands, shaking her head. “I mean, let’s just ignore the obvious fact that you’re scared shitless,” she continues. “Do you know me even a little?”
“Of course,” I answer. “Why?”
“I guess I’m just trying to figure out why in the hell would you propose when I’ve been up puking all night and you just made me watch you give yourself a fucking pep-talk in your underwear?” she asks, thrusting her hand up between us. “I mean, come on, babe. Look at my nails right now,” she shrugs in annoyance. “Who the fuck wants to see engagement ring pictures with this hack job?”
“Well, I didn’t get you a ring, so you don’t have to worry about that,” I confess, biting my nail for a minute as I lower in front of her and take in her silence. “Look, babe. I’m sorry, but I don’t understand,” I admit, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Is this not what you want?”
“To get married?” she asks, her voice holding a slight edge of annoyed amusement all its own. “Is that what you want, Dash?”
Her blue eyes meet mine and all the nerves I’d just spent the better part of my morning fighting off swarm right back into my chest, full force.
Fuck me running, I’m about to puke.
“Mhmm,” I answer, unable to say the words.
“Baby-”
“What?” I cut her off again. “Yes, I will marry you. If it’s what you want, then I think it’ll be… fuckin’… ” I trail off, clearing my throat. “Rad… or whatever. Let’s fuckin’ do it.”
My words pull an abrupt laugh from her chest that she’s gracious enough to swallow. I roll my eyes.
“That isn’t what I asked you.”
I glance down at our joined hands between us, knowing I love her enough to go through with it, but also knowing I love her too much to lie. I don’t want to hurt her. The fact of the matter is that my fears have nothing to do with Evie at all. It’s not that I don’t want to marry her, it’s that I’m not ready to marry anyone. Not yet, anyway. My mind is moving a million miles an hour and I know she’s waiting for an answer, but try as I might, I just can’t get shit to slow down.
“Dash?” The moment my eyes move back to hers, I find them soft, patient… two things I rarely knew Evie King for before I’d fallen. “You can tell me,” she whispers, one hand leaving mine to gently stroke my beard. “You just have to let go.”
I swallow hard as I hold her eyes, giving her a quick nod as I push out another breath.
“Alright, baby. You want the truth?” I finally ask, giving her hand a squeeze of affection when she nods her reply. “Alright, then no,” I shake my head. “The truth is that I’m not fucking ready to get married at all,” I admit, guilt filling my chest for a moment. I swallow it back and my fingers brush a strand of her hair away before my eyes return to hers. “The truth is that I don’t know what I’m doing, Evie. What I do know is that the scariest shit I’ve ever done up until I walked into that Walgreens with you last night was giving you a key to my place four months-”
“Five,” she corrects me quietly.
“Five months, into this,” I continue. “But I also know if I’m ever gonna marry anyone, it’ll be you, Evie,” I admit, squeezing her hand in mine. “And I know I want to do right by you. I’m going to do right by you both,” I promise, my voice coming out hushed as my eyes fall onto her stomach and I swallow all the intense emotions I still don’t have a single clue how to deal with. “And I know I love you and there’s not a single thing I wouldn’t do for you,” I confess. “So, the other shit doesn’t really matter to me,” I shake my head, moving my eyes back to hers. “I’m sure I’m getting this proposal thing all wrong, princess, but if getting married is the right thing, if that’s what you need to happen,” I shrug, the pad of my thumb brushing over her hand. “Ready or not, baby. I’m in.”
She stares into me, silently deliberating how to reply while my heart begins to pump like it’s never pumped before. While logic tells me only seconds have passed, it feels like her silence drags on for an eternity.
With a gentle squeeze, she releases my hand and places her palms on my neck, the sensation of her fingers slipping over the scruff on my jaw doing something to me deep. She leans in, her eyes slowly drifting shut as she presses her lips to mine, giving me a soft, deep kiss that pulls a low groan from my chest. When she pulls away, our eyes flutter open simultaneously and we’re both short on breath.
“You might talk a big game, but you really are the sweetest guy, Dash Hunter,” she whispers, stroking my lower lip for a moment before she releases a low sigh, her hot breath sending chills of need over my skin. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I reply, our lips still close enough that I can taste her kiss, feel her mouth moving like feathers against mine.
She smiles softly, tugging at my hands to pull me to my feet with her, her arms winding tightly around my waist. She fits just right, the top of her head nestling in against my chest.
“Thank you for asking me,” she whispers, kissing the dip between my pecs before she moves her eyes to gaze up into mine. “It was very charming, perhaps the nicest, most selfless thing anyone’s ever offered, but the other shit does matter to me,” she continues, reaching up on her toes to press her lips to the bottom of my chin. “If I was going to marry anyone, it would be you, too, but we can’t rush one thing because of another, Dash. And I’m not ready, either.” Her words make me swallow hard, and I’m not sure if it’s because of her words or the slight tinge of disappointment I hadn’t expected to feel. “Would you promise me something?”
“Hmm?”
“Someday, when it doesn’t make both of us feel like we want to puke,” she whispers again, her eyes moving to mine. “Promise you’ll ask me again? Say you swear.”
Her words make my chest clench deep and I can’t help the gentle smirk that falls over my lips. I brush a stray strand away from her cheek and hold her there, internally sighing as she leans into my touch.
“I swear it, little monster.”
Seven
dash
“Would you stop your huffing and puffing over there?” she insists from beside me, her head shaking in annoyance as she keeps her eyes locked on the forms she’s filling out. “You’re totally overreacting.”
“I really don’t
think I am,” I argue, shifting in the plastic seat as I continue to scroll mindlessly on my phone. “I think if I told you I was about to have some woman fondling my nuts, you’d be on a fucking rampage right now.”
“Okay, first of all, ew,” she starts, her face contorting in such a way that it’s impossible for me not to smirk at her theatrics. “Second of all, this isn’t the same at all.”
“How’s it not the same?” I counter with a shrug as I glance down at her. “How’s having a guy doctor not the same as me getting a physical from a chick?”
“Because your doctor isn’t shoving her arm into…” she trails off, rolling her eyes as she redirects her gaze back to the forms. “Hell, maybe she is. You’re into all that ass shit,” she reasons with a shrug. “Go for it, baby. Better her than me.”
“Yeah, like you would know,” I mumble, looking back at my phone. “You barely even let me-”
“Oh, you did plenty!” she whispers harshly, pulling another low chuckle from my chest. “Seriously, babe. Just chill out. It’s only a doctor’s appointment. I doubt the guy’s gonna ask me for my number while I’m spread eagle in the stirrups and you’re three feet away hyperventilating,” she sighs. “Besides, he’s not even my regular doctor. I’m just seeing him because she’s on vacation.”
“Maybe we should reschedule your appointment then.”
“I’m not rescheduling, Dash!” she argues immediately, her head whipping around to face me. “I looked this guy up and he’s a really good doctor, one of the best in the state. Super impressive,” she reasons, her eyes wandering off to a distant place for a second. “Like… wow.”
“What are you in love with this guy?” I ask, making her shake her thoughts clear and roll her eyes.
“You’re an idiot,” she accuses, signing the bottom of the last form. “You’re the one who made a huge stink about me making an appointment today and they were barely able to get me in. I’m not going to be the asshole who cancels last minute and ruins his whole rotation,” she insists, gently slapping me in my chest with the clipboard and raising her brow. “One, maybe two visits tops and you’ll never have to see him again.”