She stood on tiptoe and snaked her arms around my neck. She pressed her lips to mine and kissed me, sweet and tender. I wrapped her up against me as I kissed her back and swore to myself that, if I had anything to say about it, no one would ever hurt her. I’d put myself in front of her and protect her, even if it had to be with my own life.
She planted her feet back on the pavement and glanced to the side. “Oh, hey, come on,” she said, taking my hand and leading me down the block. “We can go in here. It’s a great coffee shop. Cafe Mokka.”
I knew this was her town and all, but I still had to ask. “Are you sure that’s a coffee shop? It looks like a house.”
“I know.”
“I mean…it really just looks like any other house.”
She grinned up at me. “I know. That’s part of the charm. And we’ll have to come back here some time when I’m not stressed out to the limit and on a schedule. Because, you know what they have out back?”
“Not a clue.”
“Hot tubs. You can rent them.”
“Oh, fun. I’d have to go buy a bathing suit.”
She stopped me and leaned up to whisper in my ear. “They’re private hot tubs,” she rasped. “Clothing optional.”
Damn. This tour of Arcata was getting better and better by the minute.
Chapter 28
Brandy
I took a sip of hot chocolate, doing my best to relax and let the warmth and sweetness bolster me. Clay put his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me and that did far more good than the chocolate.
I glanced at my watch. “I should probably go start looking for Sandy. She should definitely be back by now.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come?”
I looked around the coffee shop where Clay was keeping me company while I waited to go talk to Sandy.
Scratch that. Make that stalled before I went and talked to Sandy.
Clay’s and my time in Arcata the last twenty-four hours had been filled with little moments like this. Walks. Drives. Meals. Coffee shops. It was an idyllic little relationship bubble that I didn’t want to burst yet with family drama. Not to mention, I didn’t want to spring every piece of news I had on Sandy at once.
Everything felt like it was coming to a head. Janine and Stuart were due in town this evening. I’d just wanted to prolong my time in our bubble as long as possible.
I had to keep reminding myself of all of these reasons, over and over again, because damn it was hard to keep myself from just blurting out, “Yes! Come with me! Protect me from all the hurt and drama, be a buffer, and make everything come out all right. K, thanks!”
But I couldn’t do that. It was time to start being a grownup again. Time to put on the Badass Brandy suit and get shit done.
I leaned over and kissed Clay. I tasted coffee on his lips. I wondered if he could taste chocolate on mine. “Thanks. I appreciate it. But I have to do this myself.”
“At least let me give you a ride.”
I grinned. “I don’t know if roaring up on a Harley with a guy she’s never met is the best way to start a sensitive conversation with my sister.”
He laughed. “Point taken. I’m not trying to be an overprotective asshole. I just hate seeing you this worried.”
“Overprotective…maybe. Asshole? Never.”
He brushed my hair back, his fingers gentle. The nervousness-butterflies in my stomach were joined by their cousins, the Clay-butterflies. It was a regular Spring Butterfly Jamboree in there.
“Aw, Bran. It just sucks to see all this tension in your face, and in your eyes. I wish there was something I could do.”
“Me, too.”
“Want a cookie to go with your chocolate?”
“I haven’t smothered my bad feelings with sugar this much since I was in elementary school. Not to mention, I really should get going. Another stalling tactic isn’t going to help the situation.”
“Okay, babe.” He kissed the top of my head.
I sighed. “That having been said, yes, I will have a cookie. Chocolate chip.”
He grinned. “Your wish is my command.”
I blushed at the memories the phrase evoked.
When he came back and I was happily munching on my chocolate chip disc of heaven, Clay said, “So, Bran, why are you actually so nervous? When you were talking to Stuart about Sandy, you said she’d be happy about all this. That she’d want to meet him. That she was all heart. Is that not true?”
“Oh, no, that’s all one hundred percent true. Stuart’s going to be her new favorite person, I promise you. The thing I’m afraid of is that I’m going to be her least.”
“For not telling her?”
“Exactly.”
He thought about that. “Won’t she see that you were trying to protect her, though?”
I scrunched up my face. “Maybe. Eventually. Not today. See, here’s the thing about Sandy. She doesn’t like to think she needs to be protected or taken care of. She resents it when I do that. But what makes that complicated is that she does need to be taken care of. So I find myself in this awkward situation where I have to take care of her but not ever make it seem like I am.”
He shook his head. “That’s weird. No offense.”
I laughed. “None taken. It is weird. Family patterns…they can be fucked up, you know? But once they’re established, they’re damn hard to break out of.”
“True.”
“And for better or for worse, this is our fucked up pattern.”
I popped the last bite of cookie in my mouth, chewed and swallowed it. “I guess that was my last excuse to hang around here. Or, maybe I’ll take my time licking my fingers.”
Clay grinned and leaned close to me. In a low, wolfish tone that made me forget everything I was about to go do, he whispered. “Or, let me. And I won’t stop at your fingers.”
Damn, I really wish I didn’t have to go.
Chapter 29
Brandy
As I walked down the hall that led to my dorm room, I could hear Sandy’s voice through the closed door.
“Yeah, don’t worry, we still have two whole free days before you fly back, and I start school again. I just thought it’d be better to come back here instead of going back to the house because I’d rather not have to see you know who.”
I heard a barked out laugh that I recognized as Hunter’s. “Did you just say ‘you know who’? Is that how you’re referring to your joined-at-the-hip, best friend, beloved twin now?”
I heard a snort and rolled my eyes. That would be Sandy.
Hunter’s voice came again, sounding conciliatory. “Come on, San. This vacation flakiness aside, she’s been your rock. She’s been there for you more times than you can count. Even if you’re pissed, it’s just not worth it.”
That was my cue. I opened the door and stepped into the room. “Thanks, Hunter. I appreciate the support.”
Sandy whirled around, her eyes wide, and then turned on Hunter. “Did you tell her we were here? That’s pretty convenient timing, that we were just talking about her, and then she shows up.”
Hunter raised his hands in mock surrender. “Nope. Not me. I’m staying out of it.”
Sandy raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. “So? How’d you know where I was?”
I gave her a small smile, hoping to make peace. “Twin telepathy.”
Sandy rolled her eyes. “Give me a break.”
“Fine. It was just logic. When you didn’t show up at the house, there was a limited number of possibilities as to where you might go, especially with all your luggage. I already checked at Hunter’s. You weren’t there. This was next on my list.”
She nodded with begrudging respect. “Where else was on the list?”
I let my smile widen. “Nowhere. This was the last place. But I guess it was all I needed, huh?”
Sandy sighed, and I could see her anger melting.
Seeing an opportunity, I took a step forward. “Come on, San. You can’t stay ma
d at me forever. Right?”
Sandy narrowed her eyes. Before long, a grin took over. “Fine. You win. Although it occurs to me that this would’ve been the perfect time to ask for something I really wanted. I had you primed.”
“Ha. Like what?”
“The bed on the marginally larger side of the dorm room. More time on the shared car schedule. Dish duty for a month. Or, the bastion of blackmailers everywhere—emotional or otherwise—straight up cold, hard cash.”
I smiled weakly. “I probably would’ve caved on any or all of those.”
“Great. Now you tell me. Anyway, I couldn’t stay mad at you when I’m bursting with ten thousand things to tell you about the trip!”
“And I can’t wait to hear all of them. But, first—”
Sandy burst out, “Hunter and I are a couple. It’s offish.”
I drew my brows together. “A fish?”
“No, Brandy. Offish. Like, short for official? I swear to God, you keep up on the least amount of slang of any person under fifty I’ve ever heard of. Anyway, I think you zeroed in on the least interesting part of the pronouncement.”
My eyes widened. “Oh, yeah. Wow. Congrats.”
Hunter jumped back in to the conversation. “Thanks, Brandy.”
“You’re welcome.” The news sunk in a little bit more. “Oh, and…holy shit.”
Sandy clapped her hands together. “Damn right, holy shit! There’s so much to tell you about, but long story short, it’s going to make you jealous as hell, and you’re going to regret deciding to sit around boring old Arcata while Hunter and I had big adventures.”
I bit my lip. “Yeah, Sandy. That’s the thing. I didn’t actually stay here over break.”
She did a double take. “So…what? You went down to the mall in Eureka or something?”
“Not exactly.”
I took a breath. I’d known this was coming, I’d thought of little else but what I’d say to her when the time came, but I still couldn’t find the right words.
Sandy’s face grew tight, the way it always did when she was worried, and Hunter wrapped his arms around her from behind.
“Spit it out, Bran.” Sandy’s voice was clipped and forceful.
Tears formed in my eyes. “Look. I realize that you’re probably going to think I should’ve told you about this when I first found out, but you have to understand that I didn’t know anything for sure…and I just wanted to be sure…and I wanted to protect you if it wasn’t true…or even if it was…”
“What the fuck, Brandy? What are you talking about?”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was taking up yoga or something. I made a conscious decision to center myself. When I opened my eyes, I spoke with purpose. “I found our father.”
“What? Like…you found where he’s buried? Like…you found him…in his grave?”
I took yet another deep breath. I could feel my face drain of color, but my eyes still held resolve. “No. In his house. Our father’s alive.”
Everything froze. Nobody breathed. We all stared at each other, frozen in suspended animation. Finally, Sandy spoke and broke the spell. Her voice sounded fragile and hollow, made of paper-thin blown glass. “He’s alive?”
“He’s alive.”
Chapter 30
Brandy
I stirred creamer into my coffee. It was getting a little obsessive, I realized. I’d been stirring every time I felt uncomfortable or nervous, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to learn that I’d actually changed the chemical composition of both the coffee and the creamer by now.
Sandy sat next to me, uncharacteristically still and silent while we waited for our father who’d just texted that he and Janine were in town. Her face, normally so animated, was drawn with tension. Her hands were fisting into a ball on the table top, and I reached over and placed mine on top of them. I gave them a reassuring squeeze, hoping that would bring her a little bit of comfort.
She flashed me a quick smile. “Thanks, Bran.”
“You seem crazy nervous. Are you Okay?”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “As Okay as can be expected. I should pass the time by making you fill me in on every last detail of you and Clay. That’s right, sis. You’re sooooo not getting away with just a quick mention of oh-by-the-way-I-met-a-guy. But I’m actually too jittery right now to drink the story in and enjoy it. So that can wait.”
“Good. Anyway, sorry you’re on pins and needles. If there’s anybody who knows exactly what you’re feeling now, it’s me,” I assured her with the comforting “big sister” smile that I always used, even though we were twins.
She rolled her eyes, but it was with a good-natured grin. “That should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. You’re always so much better at handling everything than I am. Just because you got through this with flying colors doesn’t mean I won’t crash and burn.”
I tilted my head, drawing my brows together. “How could you possibly crash and burn?”
She rolled her eyes. “Come on, Bran. He met Super Twin first. I’m not gonna measure up.”
That took me aback. That was never how I thought of myself, and certainly not how I thought other people looked at me. My impression was that people loved Sandy, found her bright and funny and charming, and just kind of tolerated me. That I was the boring one. The stick in the mud.
To think of me as Super Twin and Sandy as the disappointing follow-up act? That was like turning the world upside down.
The bell over the door went off, and when I looked up to see who was coming in, it was Stuart; I stood and waved him over.
Sandy’s eyes widened, her spine stiffened, and her skin lost even more color, if that were possible. It was so weird to see her like this—I always thought of her as supremely sure of herself in every situation, her self-confidence carrying her through without an ounce of doubt, even if I knew she was more vulnerable than she let on. To see this side of her, this timid little girl who was afraid of disappointing her dad, told me that I had absolutely done the right thing in protecting her until I was sure that the information was legit.
Stuart sat down in the empty chair and looked at Sandy for a long moment, then shook his head. “My word, you girls really do look so much alike.”
Sandy smirked, her personality reasserting itself. “Yeah, lucky for Brandy.”
We all laughed, and the palpable tension broke.
“So,” Sandy said, her voice matter-of-fact, “what’s your deal?”
Trust Sandy not to beat around the bush.
Stuart tilted his head to the side. “My deal? I don’t quite know what you mean.”
Sandy flapped her hand. “You know. Your deal. Like…what’re you about? What’s going on with you?”
Wow. It occurred to me that, even though Sandy had only known Stuart for less than a minute at this point, she’d actually asked him more about himself than I had. Points for Team Sandy. Team Brandy had some catching up to do.
Stuart, though, still seemed confused by the question. From everything I had learned about him so far, he struck me as a very detail-oriented, no nonsense, concrete guy. An open-ended question like, “What’s your deal?” probably threw his brain into a tailspin.
I decided to jump in with something a little less abstract. “Like…how did you meet our mom?”
Sandy’s face lit up. “Good one, Bran! That’s a great place to start!”
Stuart shook his head. “I wish the story was more interesting. Your mother was a summer intern at my accounting firm. We flirted over happy hour for a few weeks, and then had a bit of a fling. When the summer was over, so was the affair. I always thought she simply went back to college. And I’ve always thought of her fondly.”
Sandy looked at me. “Wow. I can’t believe our dad is an accountant. I always wondered where Bran got that rock-solid head on her shoulders. Now it makes sense.”
Stuart smiled affectionately. “And you clearly inherited your mother
’s sense of style and fun.”
Sandy’s eyes widened as she whipped her head around to look at me. I realized that my face was mirroring her expression of shock. We were truly twins in that moment.
Stuart’s brows knit together. “What? What did I say?”
Sandy snorted. “It’s just…it’s weird to hear our mom described as stylish. Or fun. Although, it does make sense she was like that when she was young. I did have to inherit my fabulousness from somewhere, after all.”
“I think over the years she got a little beat down by life,” I clarified, trying to stamp out some of the sadness I’d seen spring up in Stuart’s eyes.
He sighed. “I really am sorry that I wasn’t there for her, and for you girls, over the years. I don’t know why she didn’t tell me about you. I keep trying to convince myself that she must’ve had her reasons, but…I don’t know. At any rate, I plan to be here for you from now on. In any way I can be. I have so much time to make up for; I don’t want to waste a single moment.”
Sandy’s face brightened. “Really? You’re gonna, like, keep in touch? And you want to get to know us and spend time with us?”
“Absolutely! I may not have been there for you in the past, but that was only because I didn’t know about you. Now that I do, wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”
I smiled. “Well, let’s try to make sure it doesn’t come to that.”
“Yeah, for sure,” Sandy interjected, her face lit up with a more magnificent smile than I’d seen in a very long time. “But, still. In the event that we are suddenly bombarded with a stampede of intelligent equines hell-bent on keeping us apart, I find that piece of information very good to know.”
Chapter 31
Clay
Brandy shook the dice she held for a quick moment in her hand and then tossed it out on the board. She grinned when she saw the result. “Four. Yes! That lands me on the green wedge. Science & Nature. I got this.”
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