My mate was a single mom with pain in her eyes that erupted into fear when the conversation turned to Stefan. I fucking hated that guy. Faraway Island would be a better place when he was gone, but my herd would have no hand in his passing. Our mission was to make things better than we left them.
It was why I’d help Jeremy, a little boy who shared his mother’s pain. The same haunted look in her eyes was echoed in his. That boy had seen too much, and I’d do my damnedest to make good on Naomi’s request. If I couldn’t make him believe in Santa, I could get him to believe in himself. Even if his mother wasn’t my mate.
My buck growled. Let her go before she gets you in trouble you can’t get out of.
I almost never went against my buck, and he was getting pissed. But I’d never felt like this about a woman before. My buck was going to have to do something he sucked at—compromise. He hated doing it when it came to Stefan, but I convinced him it was a necessary evil.
I’d teach my buck to want Delilah. To crave the taste of cider from her lips, and feel the warmth when the flush crawled under her skin. How is that hard, beast? She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on, and she was full of love and pain that I’d do anything to make go away. I wasn’t only competing with my buck, I was up against a ghost who’d left her heartbroken.
As good as I was at woodworking, I was shit at dating. Delilah and I made plans. Sort of. Jeremy wanted to learn how to make toys, but I knew how kids were. They lost interest fast, and my toys were no competition for a new video game. But the way his face lit up, that train set meant something to him. We'd parted in the chaos of the camera crew and Auntie Naomi, and I never got Delilah’s number.
Some alpha you are, my beast gloated. He’d enjoy watching me fuck this up.
“Anyone under the age of fifty usually sends a text.” Sebastian chuckled when he answered the phone. “All joking aside, you called at the best possible time. I was about to message you.”
“What’s up? Is Delilah there?” I asked way too eagerly. My buck snickered. Sebastian probably heard all about the trip from Naomi. She wasn’t the type to keep secrets.
“If she can kick, we’ll take her.” The familiar chaos of the locker room echoed in the background. I missed those sounds. Those belonged to another lifetime, before I was alpha and was left with the task of keeping Stefan on his heels. “Our kicker went down at practice today. One of the guys missed a cue and ran into him. Snapped his ankle on the way down. It’s bad. Trainers told Coach not to expect him back the rest of the season.”
“Shit. That sucks.” A broken ankle, no matter what foot, would devastate the kicker’s career. The position was a lot more mental than anyone gave it credit for, but the physical part depended on having strong footing.
“We don’t have time to get someone in here for the next game. We need you, man,” Sebastian said. “I can put you on the phone with Coach. I was just telling him about you when you called.”
I didn’t have a chance to tell him no before the phone got handed off. “Gunnar Darby? This is Coach Phelan. Sebastian told me you were a hell of a kicker.”
“It’s been a long time since I played.” Sebastian was still on the team last time I took the field.
“He said that. I understand you might be a little rough around the edges, but I need a guy with a good head for the game until we can get someone in here on a permanent basis. That’s the trouble with being so far away from the rest of the league. Gotta talk guys into coming.” Coach chuckled, stress crackling his words. “But you’re already here. I know I’m asking you to put your life on hold for a couple weeks, but I’m also offering you a spot on a Continental Football Association team. What do you say?”
No kid, buck or human, didn’t dream of playing in the pros. Most of us weren’t good enough, or had other things that got in the way. With Sebastian back in my life, and Coach on the phone, I let myself have that dream again. Of kicking the game-winning field goal and having the crowd chant my name like they did for Sebastian.
Don’t do it, my buck warned. Your focus is here.
Shut up, beast.
“I hope I don’t let you down.”
“Nonsense. You know the game is more mental than physical. That’s the stuff I can’t teach. We’ll get you football ready. I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning.”
He hung up while I was still too stunned to ask any questions. Fuck. Tomorrow morning. A couple waved at me before leaving the store. They didn’t buy anything. Not unusual. The bulk of my business was mail order, and mostly at Christmas, which was around the corner.
If Coach liked what he saw, he might not be in a hurry to find my replacement. I couldn’t do that. Football was Sebastian’s life, and it had cost him his pack. I wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice. I’d worked hard for this.
But damn. A chance to play pro football. Even for a couple weeks. I’d be a fool to turn him down.
And I’d be closer to Delilah, and in range of what the Werewives' production wanted for her in a date.
It’s almost Christmas, my buck growled. Your business will go to shit because you have your head in the clouds.
My assistants could do the heavy lifting while I was off the island. I’d have to put more trust in them than ever before. It was just a few weeks—and I’d trained them to do everything but be the face of the business. Being an Alaska Bloodhound, even for a week or two, would bring more attention to the business.
You’re throwing everything away for a woman you don’t even know.
I lied to Delilah about the train set. It used to be for sale, but everyone laughed at the price tag. It’s a toy, Gunnar, they said. Then they’d offer me a fraction of what it was worth. Like hell I’d give away that set after the hours of work, the blood, sweat, and tears that went into it. I made all my mistakes building that little town. Threw it all away and started over more times than I was willing to admit. The train set made me far more money once I took it off sale. I played a video of the train’s journey on my website, and having it in the front window brought a ton of people in the door.
They might not buy when they came in, but they told me on the phone and in emails they couldn’t stop thinking about that train set. That my shop was the highlight of their visit to the island. I was playing the long game. I didn’t want to make shit anyone would play with for five minutes and throw away.
Yet you’re willing to jump at the chance to be used until Coach finds another kicker, my buck huffed. Delilah doesn’t want a man like that.
Bullshit. She wanted a man who took chances. Just like she did.
I’d been taking chances all along. The only thing that kept me on Faraway Island was the complication that its self-appointed leader wanted me dead. I wouldn’t back down. I built a community with my herd and humans, and made sure we all thrived. If Stefan walked away from a fight with my blood on his hands, there would be consequences. There were rumblings that I was afraid to take on Stefan. That I hadn’t been the same since Sebastian left. Some went so far as to suggest I was jealous of Sebastian’s success.
Hell no. Until now, he’d been a wolf without a pack. It was the only advantage I had over him.
Maybe I was a little envious. Especially of the way Naomi looked at him. Like he made the moon rise every night.
My buck was having none of it. The herd will think you’re turning your back on them.
I locked the shop door and turned the open sign to closed. The old elk shifter who always sat on the bench in front of my shop held up his hands, and I gave him a thumbs-up.
The pack needed this. Faraway Island needed this.
My pack would come around. But before I did anything, I had to make one more phone call.
Chapter Five
DELILAH
Naomi hit a nerve. It was kind of her specialty. I couldn’t get her claim out of my head—I was not scared of finding love. I’d done it once, and I was determined to do it again. I put my entire life on hold
and came all the way to Alaska for that reason.
I was scared of not finding it.
What terrified me was to put my absolute all into my effort and come up short. The Werewives loved the idea of there being one destined mate for everyone. I couldn’t deny the notion was romantic. But it kept me up at night. I’d already met my mate, and he was gone. I knew how special it was to get that chance, and I walked around with a hole in my heart, praying that it could be made whole one more time.
I met my husband, Jon, on an adventure dating service. No boring online dating for me, ever. We went hiking and whitewater rafting and every day with him was something new, right until he died during one of his of hikes. I tried to find comfort in the fact he’d been taken from us doing something he loved. But mourning was learning to live with the emptiness. Jon was still with me, guiding me from another place. He’d taken a piece of my soul with him when he died, and when it was time to join him, that was how I’d find him.
But not yet. Jon would want me to live. If he were still here, he’d get a kick out The Real Werewives. And he’d tell me to stop comparing the guys I met to him.
So far, I’d been out with Graham, a lynx shifter and wide receiver. He had good hands and a filthy mouth. If Jeremy wasn’t in the picture, I would’ve gone on a few more dates with him, but he was strictly a for a good time call kind of guy. Then there were a couple of awkward outings with one of the defensive linemen. I had nothing in common with the bear shifter and it only got weirder when we took our clothes off. It had been a long time since I’d had a true walk of shame. Wow, those really sucked. Especially at thirty-five. Even more so with a camera crew recording every humiliating moment.
“You’re putting too much pressure on these guys.” Naomi had all the answers now that she had a shiny ring on her finger. “In your head, you’ve already got them going to PTA meetings and whatnot. One date at a time. You’ve got the perfect in with Gunnar. Arrange these classes for Jeremy. Hang out while they work, maybe learn a thing or two yourself. Why not, right? Bring him his favorite coffee. It’s perfect. You’ll see how he interacts with Jeremy, and spend quality time with a gorgeous buck who you already know is good with his hands.”
“It’s perfect, but that’s exactly the problem.” I giggled at Naomi’s assessment. “Gunnar is perfect. Handsome—”
“Gunnar’s not handsome.” Naomi shook her head. “He’s smoking hot.”
“Okay, he’s smoking hot.” My cheeks were burning. “He’s got a great little business that he obviously loves, and he seems interested in teaching Jeremy how to make toys.”
“All those things are true, but you’re ignoring the most important thing.” Naomi slammed her hand on the table. We had a regular date at the coffee shop—they'd even started saving us a table. They didn’t mind having us here—the camera attracted more business, and production crews drank a lot of coffee. “How did he make you feel?”
“I barely know him! We spent what, an hour together?”
“Doesn’t matter. Your heart knows what you want before your brain is willing to accept it.” Naomi leaned back and took a sip of her cocoa, wiping the whipped cream away from her nose. “All Sebastian was supposed to be was a booty call. See how that turned out? And I felt the same exact way you did. You remember. The attraction. I barely knew him.”
“And I told you to go for it.” My cider wasn’t as good as the one I had on Faraway Island. Maybe because it didn’t come with a sprinkle of buck.
“You were going to stop at nothing to make sure I got my man.” She scooted the chair closer and lowered her voice. “Why won’t you do that for yourself?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” I hadn’t had much time to concentrate on shapeshifting football players since Jeremy joined me in Alaska. I’d been busy getting him settled in school and shielding him from the shenanigans of the four other Werewives that lived in the house. The ladies cooed at him when he was around, more like I’d adopted a puppy than moved my son in. But when he wasn’t around, they complained about the burden it was on them to have him there. No wonder Naomi was the only one in our condo to find her mate so far. The rest of my roommates were impossible.
Naomi frowned over her hot cocoa. “You’ve come up with all the reasons why it won’t work with you and Gunnar without thinking of one way it can. Don’t put so much pressure on him. Maybe it’s not forever. But it can be for Christmas and that’s exactly what you need right now.”
I hated that she was right. That I need to think short term if I’d get through the rest of the season, and even more that I had the same inexplicable attraction to Gunnar that she’d described about Sebastian. Maybe it was such a relief to talk to someone who didn’t think my son was excess baggage, it was enough to leave me smitten.
“He’s not a Bloodhound.” I was adventurous, but I wasn’t a rule breaker.
Naomi turned to Tessa. “What’s more important—that she fumble around with a bunch of football players or she actually find love?”
I was terrified of the answer. Gunnar had given me the only real spark since I came to Alaska. Graham was fun, but he wasn’t what I wanted.
I wanted Gunnar. And I didn’t want that chance taken from me.
“We’re more than happy to bring you back to Faraway Island,” Tessa chimed in from the next table. “The show has the budget for that kind of stuff.”
“I wish I’d known that,” Naomi grumbled. “I’d would’ve had Sebastian bring me on dates all over the state so I could record it for my blog.”
“You got a show,” I reminded her. That was the whole reason she came, to turn her blog into a TV show. Naomi came into my life to remind me that dreams did come true. She’d been willing to bend the rules and use the show to her advantage.
My phone rang, and I panicked. I hadn’t put Jeremy’s new school on speed dial yet and I feared it was them. If he couldn’t get settled into school, it was game over. I’d break my contract and bring my baby home. He’d been through enough already.
“Hey, it’s Gunnar.”
My mouth dropped when his deep voice warmed me better than my mug of hot cider. It’s Gunnar, I mouthed to Naomi and pointed at the phone.
She reached for the phone. “Give me that. I’m taking matters into my own hands.”
I pulled a move worthy of making the Bloodhounds to avoid her.
“From the toy store,” he added when too much time had passed without an answer.
“Hi,” I finally said. I was grinning like an idiot. Didn’t matter if I was scared. I had to take a shot—for me and for Jeremy. “I’ve been thinking of you.”
“Oh yeah?” His voice lifted. “I’ve been thinking of you, too. You tell me what you’ve been thinking about, and then I’ll tell you what’s been on my mind.”
A half-dozen faces peered at me as I blushed. Didn’t bother me, though. I let myself relish the feeling of falling off the cliff and trusting Gunnar would be there to catch me.
“Jeremy hasn’t stopped talking about your store since we got back to Holiday Falls,” I said. “I’d really love to bring him back.”
“I’d like that, too,” Gunnar said. “But I have a better idea. I’m headed to the ferry, and I should be in Holiday Falls this afternoon. Can I take you and Jeremy to dinner?”
“Pick a place that serves chicken fingers, and he’s in.”
“REMEMBER GUNNAR? HE’S coming to see us.” I cherished the moments I had alone with Jeremy. The camera crew didn’t follow us to school, and they were banned from the room we shared.
“The toy guy?” His eyes lit up again. “Is he coming to teach me how to make stuff?”
“You can ask him yourself when he gets here.” I laughed.
Getting Jeremy to concentrate on his homework was torture for both of us. He had a ton of questions about Gunnar that I couldn’t answer. It was possible that I was the actual third wheel on this date and most of the conversation would be taken up with trains, planes, and dinosaurs, but if it meant
Jeremy rekindled his passion for life—he was missing a piece of his soul, too—I’d take a backseat. I kept myself busy, trying on clothes and jewelry, trying to explain math, anything to stop overthinking this. Setting Gunnar up to fail.
I couldn’t compare him to my husband. Gunnar would never be able to replace that piece of me, or the piece of my son that Jon took with him. Gunnar had come into our lives to create something new.
You signed up for an adventure, Jon had teased when I hesitated riding a zipline on one of our first dates. Take the adventure.
Yup, he was still with me. I smiled at myself in the mirror as I snapped my earring into place.
“Mom.” Jeremy nudged me. I had a feeling it wasn’t the first time he’d tried to get my attention. “You look pretty.”
“Thank you.”
He gave me his crooked-toothed grin. “Can we go now?”
“Yeah.” I tipped his face up to meet mine. He hated it when I treated him like a baby, but he’d always be my baby. He looked just like Jon. And for the first time in a long time, it didn’t break my heart.
Chapter Six
GUNNAR
Naomi was trouble, but I had a lot to learn from her. There was no telling what Coach would say after he saw me on the practice field, but if the Bloodhounds offered me a contract, I planned on taking full advantage of it.
Sell out, my buck rumbled. He’d been bitching ever since Faraway faded from view. He hated being away from the island, and nothing would convince him I was doing this for the island. The notoriety from being on the team would bring new people to the shop, to the island, and maybe even to stay. Stefan’s pack and their penchant for violence had driven some of the humans away. He did his damnedest to incite a pack war, and he didn’t want any witnesses. No rules, no consequences.
We had his back against the wall; his pack was pinned to the outermost reaches of the island. The land was too rocky to build on and the climate too punishing to inhabit. We’d done it without a single drop of blood being spilled, and all it did was make him meaner. He’d been extra nasty since Sebastian dared set foot on the island with a camera crew and the Bloodhounds in tow. The team would be looking to me to provide some offense, and in turn, I’d take all the defense I could get.
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