by K E Osborn
Aiden hops out of bed, pulls on some boxer shorts, and opens the door to a waiter who’s serving our breakfast. He brings it in and places it down. I’m hungry as I take a sip of my orange juice and eat the delicious breakfast in front of me.
Today, we are heading to Donau Park which is on the north bank of the Danube River. Dressing in warm, winter clothes, that Aiden was mindful to pack for us, we make our way down to the lobby where Jörg is waiting for us.
“Guten tag, Aiden and Jeni,” Jörg announces as we slide into the limousine.
He’s a nice man, polite, but doesn’t talk much.
“Guten tag, Jörg,” Aiden replies.
The first things I see when exiting the limousine are a giant chessboard, a mini-train tourists are riding, a tennis park, a bike path, and even a miniature zoo. I stand in awe, unable to move as I take it all in. As we begin our tour, Aiden takes my frozen hand in his to warm it.
As we wander around, we come across a horse-drawn carriage. My eyes widen in excitement as I look at Aiden, and he smiles. He strides over to the driver and talks to him, then hands him some cash. Aiden helps me into the carriage. The horses are a magnificent pure white, and their manes are plaited making them look elegant and beautiful.
“Thank you, babe,” I gush, and Aiden wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him.
The carriage is open, and when the driver instructs the horses to move, the air twinkles with a delicate sprinkling of falling snowflakes as they drop onto the tip of my nose. I almost squeal with excitement as it dances and sparkles in the sky, lighting it in its illuminating white brilliance.
“Aiden, it’s snowing!” I chime while Aiden smiles at me lovingly. I hold out my hand to catch the tiny icy pieces of confetti-shaped snow. It seems my eyelashes are doing a better job at catching them, though. This is just what I’ve needed. Aiden tightens his arm around my shoulders as we travel around the park with the soft gentle snow falling on us.
“This is so romantic.”
He leans in, kissing me softly. “Only the best for my girl. How are you feeling?”
I smile. “I’m fine. Being in Vienna with you is way better than being at work.” It’s more than a little fantastic being away from Niall. But, of course, I leave that part out.
Aiden holds me tightly as I start to shiver. Snow is great, but it is cold.
Once we arrive back, we both get out of the carriage and thank the driver. Walking hand in hand, we make our way into a little gift shop to purchase some souvenirs for our friends and family. Looking around the small shop, I start my search for a matching set of gloves, scarf, and a beanie. I walk up behind Aiden and wrap my arms around his stomach, embracing him from behind, feeling almost like my normal self.
He chuckles and turns to face me. “Do you think Bree would like this?” he asks, showing me a snow globe of a Ferris wheel.
“It’s gorgeous, but… what is it?”
“It’s the Ferris wheel at The Prater, a massive amusement park in Vienna.”
“Honestly, I think she’ll love anything you give her.” I lean into him. “Thanks for this, I am having a great time. You’re the most supportive partner a girl could wish for, and I’m truly thankful.”
He smiles, wrapping his arms around me tightly and pulling me to him. “I’ll always support you. And even though we’ve lost something special, it doesn’t mean that we have to deny ourselves happiness.”
In that moment, I realize I am happy to be here, in another country holidaying with my man.
Aiden removes the tags from my newly purchased scarf, beanie, and gloves and helps me put them on before we head outside again.
We spend the rest of the day wandering hand in hand around the park while snow softly falls, glistening in the rays of intermittent sunlight.
Over the next few days, we keep it simple, keeping to our suite, kissing and holding each other. Even though this is something we would do at home, it feels different. Healing.
It’s our final night in Vienna, and I can’t help but feel a little sad. This trip has been everything.
“I want to take you to the Vienna State Opera House,” Aiden informs me.
“We should go out for dinner and make a night of it.”
“Anything you want.”
He helps me into my long, black-lace dress. “You look gorgeous. I’m one hell of a lucky man.”
After dinner, we arrive at the opera house. It’s simply stunning. The features of the building are an architectural feast for the eyes. We walk into the building, and Aiden takes my hand as he leads me to a box seat, where a waiter brings us champagne and little appetizers throughout the performance.
He’s gone all out for me again. I feel loved and appreciated, and I expect nothing less because Aiden always manages to make me feel this way.
“Jeni, if you’re tired and you want to leave, just let me know.”
I nod as the opera begins with soft, gentle violins playing the prelude. I watch the entire performance in awe while the romantic story unfolds to bright lights and stirring, beautiful music. Tears prick in my eyes when the last act finishes with the heroine dying. Slowly. I never thought opera would be my thing, but I love it. The curtain falls, and the audience applauds. The performance moved me.
We wait for the crowd to dwindle before making our way back to Jörg. Heading to the hotel, we finally arrive, and it starts to snow as we get out of the car. I stand on the sidewalk looking up at the night sky as the snow drifts down on my face. Aiden stands behind me holding me tightly.
“I love the snow,” I murmur under my breath whimsically.
Aiden turns me around. “I love you.”
I pause. “Aiden…”
“Mmm?”
I exhale with sadness. “I wish things were different.”
“Jeni…” he warns sternly, “… it was an accident. There was nothing anyone could’ve done to change what happened. I don’t blame you. I don’t blame anyone.” He kisses the top of my head.
That’s all very well, but I’m pretty sure I know who’s really to blame for the death of our baby.
He leads me inside, his hand on the small of my back. We spend the night as lovingly as we can and slowly fade to sleep.
The next morning, we hurriedly eat breakfast before heading to the airport. I’m sad our time in this beautiful snow-covered city is over, and we are heading back to reality. Jörg takes our suitcases and places them in the limousine.
“Wait here,” Aiden advises.
I look at him with one eyebrow raised as he heads into the gift shop next door. He comes out with two helium-filled balloons, one is pink and one is blue.
I chuckle and tilt my head. “What do we need balloons for?”
Aiden doesn’t reply and instead takes my hand and walks with me to the park across the street. I narrow my eyes on him curiously. He stops, turns, and hands me the pink balloon. He swallows and frowns, and I instantly know this isn’t a celebration.
“It’s time to say goodbye, Jeni… to our baby.”
My skin tingles, my fingers going numb as nausea hits me. Heat flushes over me as I grip onto Aiden’s shirt tightly. My heart races as I shake my head slowly at him. I don’t want to do this.
“Our tiny baby. Not even knowing you before we lost you is hard to take. No one can understand how we feel. It hurts like hell to lose something so precious. You were taken from us too soon. We will miss you every day, and we’ll never forget you, little one. Rest in peace.” Aiden’s words are so beautifully moving, I bite down on my bottom lip. My heart is so heavy, it feels like it’s dropped out of my chest as my eyes slowly moisten with tears while he speaks. He’s holding me tightly while I softly cry into his chest. Then he places his fingers under my chin to move my head up to meet his eyes. I look into them, and they’re glistening with tears which he’s trying to blink away, but it only makes me worse.
“When we let the balloons go, we’re sending them to heaven. To our baby. It’s t
o let our baby know we love and care for him or her and that they will always be in our hearts. Once we let the balloons go… our sorrow goes with it.”
My bottom lip quivers, and my chest squeezes. I can’t do this. I can’t say goodbye. Not yet. I step back from Aiden and look at him with tears flooding my eyes.
“Rest in peace, sweet one.” He lets his blue balloon go as a tear falls down his cheek, and the balloon flies up into the air.
I’m overwhelmed with grief as tears slide down my face while holding the pink balloon string to my chest for comfort. Aiden steps closer and holds me in his arms looking deeply into my watering eyes. “You have to let the grief go, Jeni.”
With his words, all the energy drains from my body, my legs give way, and I collapse. Aiden holds onto me tightly, cradling me to him as I cry in his arms for our lost baby. I grasp onto his jacket as he holds me, and I hear him sniffle. I know he’s struggling with this too, but I know he’s right. I have to let go. I have to do this. I look up at him fearing I’m not strong enough.
“We have to move on. Our baby is in heaven, watching us every day and waiting for us to continue with our lives. Our baby would want us to be happy, too.”
My bottom lip trembles. “Our baby would want us to be happy,” I reiterate.
Aiden nods. “You have to say goodbye.” He turns and holds me tightly around my stomach from behind. Holding me upright with my back to his chest, I sink into him as I cling to the balloon for dear life.
“You can do this, Jeni. You need to do this. To heal. For both of us to heal.” His words snap me out of my thoughts. I need to do this for Aiden, he needs this as much as I do. I exhale abruptly as I straighten my shoulders, finding my inner strength.
“I only knew about you for a short time, and then you were taken from us. I know I’ll think of you every day. Mommy loves you, little one. Rest in peace.” I cling to the string tightly, finding it hard to let it go. Aiden’s arms tighten on my stomach as he kisses my cheek, giving me the extra support I so desperately need, and with a heavy exhale, I let the balloon go.
My chest tightens, but a sense of relief washes over me as I watch the balloon drift off through tear-soaked eyes. It floats into the overcast, dreary sky, effortlessly wafting in the gentle breeze.
Even in my despair, I feel lighter somehow.
I guess Aiden’s right.
Letting go and saying goodbye is what we both needed to do.
He looks at me with tears in his eyes, and he swallows hard. I lean in, gently kissing him, letting him know he did the exact right thing as we stand holding each other for what seems like an eternity—but in reality, it’s only been a few minutes.
Eventually, we make our way back to the car and to the airport.
Aiden never loses his grip on me, his hand in mine, for the entire trip back to Mornington Vale.
We both decided yesterday when we arrived back from Vienna, we would head into work today. It’ll serve as a distraction for us both. Aiden spent a lot of time with me, which I’m deeply grateful for, but now he needs to concentrate and focus on his work again.
I dress slowly, feeling nervous about going back to work—back to Niall, and to where our baby was taken from us. Aiden’s watching me closely. I’m extra quiet this morning, I can’t help it. I’m having difficulty finding the right words to say, so I simply don’t say anything.
My nerves churn my stomach, making me nauseous as we head out to the kitchen where Aiden starts breakfast.
“Jeni, are you all right?” Aiden strides up behind me, wrapping his arms around me supportively.
“Sure am. As long as you’re with me, I’m fine.”
He leans in nuzzling into my neck. “I’m always with you.”
When we are ready, we head out for the drive to work. As we arrive, Brielle runs over and hugs me tightly. While she talks with Aiden, he never lets go of my hand, once again, providing the support he knows I need.
Knowing I need to push through, I begin to go through the motions—sit, put my bag in the desk drawer, turn on computer—it’s then I look up and notice Aiden is still here, watching me.
“If you want to leave at any time during the day, you let me know.” He kisses my cheek and turns for his office.
I spend most of the day avoiding the kitchen—even looking at the doorway brings a knot to my throat. Eventually, though, my craving for coffee gives out, and I slowly walk toward the kitchen, knowing sooner or later I have to push through this. Brielle says nothing as I stand in front of the doorway. With my eyes closed, I prepare myself. My breathing is shallow and quick, and my heart rate is through the damn roof.
Who knew going to make a simple coffee would be so heart-wrenching?
I swallow, mentally reliving falling on the table and hitting the floor.
Before I can open my eyes, a set of arms wrap around my waist, and Aiden’s holding me comfortingly from behind. He rests his head on my shoulder, and I exhale, relaxing back in his warmth. “I love you,” he whispers into my ear. I inhale sharply as my chest squeezes. “You don’t have to go in there. I can bring you coffee from now on. You just have to ask. Think of it as role reversal.”
I clear my throat and turn to face him, sliding my arms up around his neck. “Thank you, and I love you, too, but I have to move on, Aiden. Anyway, if I keep avoiding the kitchen, how can I do my job properly especially if Bree isn’t here to help with meetings? No. I’ve got this… but with your help,” I stipulate.
“You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met.” He kisses me softly on top of my head, then takes my hand and walks with me into the kitchen. The energy in there immediately fills me with sorrow. I swallow hard when I see the ladder leaning against the back wall. It looks like nothing disastrous has even happened in here.
Aiden studies my tension-filled face. “You’re my world. Even though it feels like our world ended in here, we don’t have to let it rule how we feel every day.”
“I know. It’s going to be hard reliving it every time I come in here, though.”
“Time will heal and make it easier,” he affirms. I walk with him close by me toward the coffee machine and pull out two mugs. “We could always replace the bad memories with some new good ones?” He leans in kissing my neck playfully. I let out a small laugh, then turn and face him, threading my fingers through his hair as he holds me tightly around my waist. Looking up at him, he leans down, kissing me passionately while we wait for our coffee to brew.
I’m thankful Aiden showed up when he did. Who knows how long I would’ve been standing in the doorway like a deer stuck in headlights. Aiden makes everything that little bit easier, and he helps me cope, because without him, I know I would never get through this loss.
The day actually goes surprisingly quickly, and after work, we’re heading off to the mansion for dinner. Callie wants to talk about Aiden’s birthday. I know he isn’t the least bit interested in having a party, so maybe a dinner at a restaurant would be better. The last thing I want to do tonight is sit with the family, but I know I need to keep myself occupied for Aiden’s and my mental health.
Brielle and I wait for Aiden and Niall to come out of their offices to meet us. Eventually, Aiden exits his office while pulling on his suit jacket, then shutting his door. Niall departs his office, and we meet in the middle of the foyer and walk as a group to the elevator. Aiden takes my hand in his as we stroll into the elevator.
Niall looks down at our entwined hands and huffs. “See you at home, Aiden.”
We exit the elevator while Niall completely ignores me as usual. But to be honest, I don’t give a fuck. I don’t want to talk to that asshole, anyway. Aiden simply shakes his head while we walk through the main foyer.
“Good evening, Mr. O’Connell,” Josie calls out right on cue.
I roll my eyes, but Aiden gives her a wave while tightening his grip on my hand.
We head down the stairs to the parking garage where Mike and Niall’s driver, Bill, are waiting for us.<
br />
“Good evening, Miss Taylor, sir. How was your day?”
“Fine, thanks, Mike.” I smile as he opens the rear passenger door, and we slide in.
“So busy. We’re heading to my parents’ tonight, Mike. They’re conspiring something for my birthday,” Aiden answers.
“It’s not conspiring if you know we’re doing it.” I giggle.
We drive to the O’Connell mansion and are greeted by Callie at the door. “Hi, everyone.” Her eyes shift to Mike with a warm fondness. “You don’t need to sit in the car. Please come in and have some dinner with us, Mike.”
Mike dips his head at Callie, a soft smile touching his lips. “I’d love to join you, Mrs. O’Connell.”
Callie holds her arms out and embraces me tightly. “Oh, darling, you look pale and thin. Aiden, you need to take better care of my girl.”
“I will, Mom,” his voice is low, and I know he feels responsible. But he isn’t. Aiden was utterly perfect through this whole ordeal, and I hope he knows that.
Callie leads us into the living room as Brielle and Bill walk in and take their seat on the sofa.
“How was the first day back at work, you two?” Callie asks.
I glance at Aiden as he loosens, then takes off his tie, shoving it in his pocket. “Jeni’s doing well. She’s a great asset.”
I shake my head in objection but with a smile.
“Oh, come now, Jeni, don’t be modest. I’m sure you’re doing a fantastic job.”
Niall huffs as he walks past and heads into his study.
“No, honestly, you’re catching on quickly. Ask Daniel. It took him months to do what you’ve learned in such a short time,” Brielle says loudly, obviously so her father can hear.
I smirk at her blatancy. “Thanks, Bree.”
The doorbell chimes, and Bill stands to answer it as we all look toward the door. “That should be Nana,” Callie announces.
“Nana’s coming tonight? Awesome,” Brielle gushes as she jumps up off the sofa and runs to the front door. We laugh at Brielle, a twenty-four-year-old woman who still gets excited to see her Nana—it’s cute.