I nudged my horse to a trot, ignoring the dangers below to reach Leke faster. Two horses were tied outside the hut, and I recognized one of them as Leke’s. I pushed the door in impatiently.
“Leke, what are you—”
There, bare naked on the hides, lay Leke and Temin. A ewer. Two wooden cups. A crackling hearth. His hand on Temin’s thigh. Leke tried to stand on his elbows, but he didn’t get up. He went to say something, whispering just “Da-Ren” and then going back to silence. He didn’t cover his crotch, just stood there, and I took my eyes away. Temin wasn’t even looking at me. I had already forgotten what I wanted to ask.
I left without saying a word, with hasty steps. My head was boiling red when I reached New Kar-Tioo.
“I don’t understand,” I said to Zeria.
“What?”
“What in the demon is he doing?”
In our Tribe, it was a terrible shame for men to touch other men. Rumors claimed that the older Ouna-Mas taught the naked young girls, but even such dark thoughts were the poison men needed to fill their nights and quench their loneliness. A man had rights on any common woman to satisfy his needs, yet no one should touch another man. Slaves sometimes did, as they had no right to women, but a warrior could be with any young girl. Why would he choose a man? Exile. Torture. These were the punishments of the Tribe.
“What should I do with him?” I asked Zeria.
“Nothing?”
“I don’t have any urge to punish him. I am just numb.”
“Forget it, Da-Ren. You can’t worry about this. We have bigger problems. Somebody brought the sickness upon us, the last couple of days. The children, your children.”
“Forget it? He has been my comrade since I was a boy and I didn’t know. He betrayed me. Forget it?”
“Da-Ren, your daughter is sick.”
Still, I couldn’t listen to what she was saying. Her voice was calm, trying to calm me down.
“I better ask Noki for advice,” I said. “He knows the secrets of love best.”
“Who is Noki?” she asked.
It was happening to me a lot lately. I’d confuse who was still alive, who was watching from the stars above, what ghosts I saw at night, what ghost was riding her war horse in the shadows of the Forest in the morning.
I poured myself some wine and sat by the fire.
“I don’t understand,” I mumbled once, then twice, trying to find an answer from Zeria.
She shook her head, stiff-lipped, impatient, already heading for the door. She stopped.
“Do you listen, Da-Ren? I need you. Forget Leke. You know, whoever made this world didn’t intend for you to understand all of it.”
“But how could I not have known all these years?”
“Would it have changed anything if you did? What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then just let everyone taste become what he wishes. Just as you did,” said Zeria. “I’ll go see your child. You should come too. I worry.”
“Do you think it is true? About the she-wolf,” I asked her.
“Are you starting to believe the legends now?”
“I killed her yesterday, and this morning, the sickness, Leke, Malan is returning. Everything in one day.”
“And there’s more. Baagh came back this morning,” said Zeria.
Baagh had spent long springs and summers with us since Malan had left for Sapul, but he had disappeared on the first chilling day of autumn and had stayed away all winter. He said that he had to leave to pray alone, but Zeria had her doubts.
“West of the forest, through the untrodden paths of the north is the great city of Lenos. That’s where my ancestors came from.”
“I know the tales, Zeria.”
“No tales. This city is close by, only those mountains keeping us apart. That friend of yours, Baagh, was there. I know it. He is a dangerous man, one of those messengers,” said Zeria.
“You think he sells secrets to Lenos?”
“No, not sell. He is a messenger of their god. That man is spirit; he brings death to thousands, salvation to others.”
“Nonsense.”
“You will soon find out, ask him,” said Zeria finishing her warning.
During the previous summers, Baagh had spent most of his time teaching me the tongue of the Eastern and Western Empires of the Cross. Oftentimes he’d teach the children as well; the rest of the men certainly didn’t care and were too old to learn. He tried to preach to the Dasal about his God and Savior to the great annoyance of Zeria. By now I preferred to speak to him in the tongue of the Crossers, so I could talk like them. He came to find me soon after Zeria left, on his own.
After a silent greeting, I confronted him right away.
“Zeria claims that you returned from Lenos.”
He looked older and more impatient than any previous time. More of a messenger, less of a preacher of holy stories.
“True!”
“You admit it?”
“We have no time for this. What do you know of Lenos, Da-Ren?”
“Nothing. Is it like Thalassopolis?”
“No, no, much smaller, poor. Not even like Varazam, filthier and without the gold, without splendor. It is an outpost of the Western Empire.”
“Why go there?”
“It is becoming a very big outpost. A war camp. I counted three times the soldiers of Varazam. Not rich in gold, but strong in iron and fire. It is time, Da-Ren.”
“Time for war?”
“Malan’s war in Thalassopolis is over. All the ports and the traders know, Sirol is buzzing. He is on his way here.”
I wished I had asked Leke what news he brought from Sirol.
“And Lenos? Are you their messenger?”
“Messenger? No. There won’t be any time for messengers. I am a messenger of God, one who tries to avoid bloodshed. I have only one mission, and you should have the same if you ask me: to keep the horrors of Varazam from happening again. One war has ended, the next one is brewing. This next one is our war.”
“But if that’s the truth—”
“Yes, you and your people are going to be in the middle of it.”
“So, you are back to warn us, Baagh?”
“I am glad you think of me as a friend, Da-Ren. You’ll need to count your friends in the days to come. I am back because I need your help.”
“But how? Does the West know of a path through the Forest?”
“You really have lost yourself in here. Most men would envy you. How long has it been? You don’t care what is out there anymore. Both the West and your men in Sirol, led by the one they call Sani, are opening paths in the Forest. It has been going on for a month now; not even a few days north.”
“How?”
“With ax and fire. It is quite easy, you know. Where the forest stops you, and you can’t go farther, you set the wood aflame. It is slow and dangerous but easy. The north road is open; it smells of ash and smoke, it has the one gray color of the underworld. The most forward patrols of both sides have clashed already. Lenos is gathering the iron-shield armies and the war machines. Thousands of trained soldiers.”
“Why are you telling us all this? To protect us?”
“Everyone knows, Da-Ren, except you. You would too if you didn’t spend all your time mesmerized by that blue-eyed woman.”
“And, who has the strongest army, this time?”
“That I don’t know and I don’t care. It takes wisdom and strategy to win wars, not strength alone. Who is the most patient? Who has a secret weapon? Who is the most patient? As for you, you can choose any side you want. You must know that.”
“How so?”
“By now, you know the tongue of the Empire. You are no friend of Malan, but you know how he thinks and fights. You can be of use.”
“Are you telling me to betray my Tribe?”
Baagh’s eyes were staring past me, to where Zeria had entered the hut. I turned and looked at her too, wondering how much she’d
heard.
Could I choose no side?
I was listening to all those words, yet it had been six winters since I had lifted a blade to kill a man.
“Is it true?” Zeria asked.
“He says war is coming,” I said.
“Do you believe him?”
“When I was up the hill, looking for Leke, I saw the forest burning, far in the north.”
“Leave us out of it, priest,” said Zeria, her chin raised high and her voice higher.
“I am not one to leave or drag you into anything.”
“We must protect the children, Da-Ren.”
“All seven?” I asked.
Or just her.
“There are more than thirty children here, Da-Ren. Not just yours and mine. All of them.”
Thirty children. How could we ever run away with thirty children? I had hidden the gold with Baagh; I always thought I could get on a boat with the two of them. Thirty children. We wouldn’t even fit in a boat to make it to the Thousand Islands.
Baagh was throwing seeds in the hearth, first a few kernels, then a handful. The air started to smell of anise. Then he turned to me:
“You know, Da-Ren, Malan can still win this war. I always think otherwise, but I am always wrong, and I am wise enough now not to underestimate him. Even Thalassopolis had to offer a truce to end the siege. He has caused great strife to the lands south, but he couldn’t bring those walls down. If not for the plague, he might have succeeded. It spread to the city and Malan’s men as well. Both sides were losing men faster than they could afford. A truce was the only way for both to survive; the plague continues to spread. Your Tribe is dying as we speak, but so is mine. Maybe God finally decided to end this war forever.” He stopped to catch his breath, crossing himself three times. “As I was saying,” Baagh continued. “There is not one child, yours, or thirty children. Lenos never had enemies to its east; its walls are low and weak. Once Malan breaks Lenos…there are two thousand children in there. More than Varazam.”
“Then we must warn them,” said Zeria, and her words surprised me more than any of the news Baagh was bringing.
“We must sail for the Thousand Islands now,” I said looking from one face to another. “We have hidden gold, exactly for this moment, Baagh.”
“Can’t leave now, Da-Ren,” said Baagh. “Those two thousand children will haunt us for eternity.”
Did he really expect me to care for the children of an othertriber city I’ve never set eyes upon? How did he know that I would? How did he know me better than I knew myself?
“We can’t leave now, Da-Ren,” added Zeria. “Some of our children here, have fallen sick.”
“Aneria?”
She nodded, biting her lip.
“Did any of your men come back from Sirol recently? This plague is spreading faster than the wind,” said Baagh.
“What does this sickness look like?” asked Zeria. “You think that the men brought it here from Sirol?”
“It only takes one man.”
“Tell me.” Zeria was all over Baagh, holding him with both hands.
“The bowels burn up and run like water. Fire rises to the throat. Then your eyes burn, and you become weak as a small bird. And then you puke, until you can’t walk, and can’t even see who is talking to you. But then it is too late.”
I was shivering speechless.
“Do all die?”
“Not all. Many live. But it spreads fast. If the bowels start shitting black blood, then there’s no cure. If the skin breaks with puss, one lives.”
“Can you cure the sick, Baagh? Come with me.”
I didn’t wait any longer. I was already out the hut and heading for Aneria’s. They had put her with two more children and two elder Dasal, all lying next to each other. Her head burned and sweated at my touch.
“Did she? The bowels?” I asked Zeria.
She asked the woman who was tending them and then turned to me.
“No, we still have time. If there is a cure.”
“Do you know of one?”
“No, but maybe your sorcerer does.”
“You trust him?” I asked.
“No, but I don’t think he’d hurt a child.”
I brought Baagh in, and he took a long time looking at Aneria’s throat, touching her hands and forehead, and examining her under the tunic.
“These children are not suffering from the plague. And that’s good because if they did, it would spread to us all.”
“What is it then?”
“Some different ailment. I’d guess it’s the worm of the lungs. Still, deadly.”
“What should I bring? Garlic? Fennel?” asked Zeria.
“Do you have fire-bush and olive oil?” asked Baagh, but Zeria shook her head.
“I can get olive oil from Sirol,” I said.
But it will take at least five days there and back. Aneria’s deep cough broke my next thought.
“Even if you do, we can’t do much with olive oil and garlic. A cow. That’s what I need.”
“For sacrifice?”
“We are too late for sacrifices. And too old. Do you have a cow?”
“A few sheep, I can get a deer or anything else from the wood.”
“That won’t do. I need cow’s bile.”
“Are you serious?”
“All the other things we can get, even the olive oil can be replaced, but I need cow’s bile,” said Baagh. “Or I can pray to the God and Savior and hope he grants her a miracle.”
“It will be six days to Sirol and back to bring it,” I said.
“You don’t have six days.”
Aneria turned her eyes and granted me the faintest smile. I couldn’t smile back. I walked out the hut, trying to think. Where could I get a fucking cow in the middle of the Forest?
Zeria and Baagh came running after me.
“Da-Ren, we can go to Lenos,” she said.
I tried to make sense of what she was saying. My world had crumbled in one day. Leke, Temin, war, Malan returning, Lenos, Aneria.
“Do you say we go north, find the path that the soldiers of Lenos opened up, sneak through them and make it to the city? And roam around there unnoticed to look for…cow’s bile? Even if we could do that it would be…” I stopped trying to think, “I don’t even know how many days.”
Zeria exhaled deeply and kept her eyes down lifting them only to speak.
“No, Da-Ren, we can be at Lenos by morning. If we make haste.”
LXXXI.
White Doe
Thirty-Second Spring. Ten days before the Poppy Flower Moon
“Water! That's the best place to hide a secret,” said Baagh as we approached the waterfall on the northmost cave hill.
“Or inside the heart of a mother,” I added, pointing to Zeria who was leading us through the wood.
We had started before dawn, Zeria, Baagh, and I. I took only Vani with me. Leke was not back yet, and I didn’t know what I'd say to him the next time I faced him. We had gone deep in the forest, climbing hills, and dropping down to dark wood, through paths that were completely hidden and which I’d never taken during the past six winters. After a while, we reached a green cloud.
“What is this?” I said.
“A waterfall,” Zeria answered.
“I can't believe I've never been here,” I said.
“Few have. It’s a silent one,” said Zeria.
It was not a raging downfall of water, but rather a wide sheet of sprinkles that evaporated into a mist and took on the color of the surrounding trees. One might not even see a waterfall, but just the green breathing of a drakon, hiding in a cave.
“You hear a waterfall roaring, and you just have to find it, to explore it. But this one is silent as a grave. The water breaks on the boulders and the slopes so when it reaches here, it is only a mist. Most see a cloud, and very few care to go into a cloud.”
We were inside the mist now, and the morning light illuminated it with green, gold, and blue hues.
<
br /> “In mid-autumn, when all the leaves turn red, you can see the running water clearly. In spring the trees protect its secret.”
“What secret?”
“A passage. There is a passage to the caves, behind the mist.”
“You say there is a cave behind the waterfall?”
“Many caves, an endless labyrinth of caverns and chambers. Tunnels that go for thousands of steps. That way,” said Zeria.
The Dasal, or those who had discovered and used this cave, had even made a path with cobblestones around the waterfall so that we could pass safely through there with the horses. The water was ankle deep, but I preferred to keep my boots dry if we had a long way to go.
“What do you call this place?”
“For the Dasal it is the White Doe’s cave. The tale says that this is where the Forest Witch came to rest when she said farewell to the living. And once you’re inside the cave you can hear and see the White Doe. And feel her tears on your skin. You’ll see.”
Feel her tears.
“Is this a passage to Lenos?” asked Baagh.
Zeria nodded.
“All that is between us and the valley of Lenos is this steep mountain. We call it White Doe as well, but it’s not because of its snow-white crests. No one can climb it, except maybe a goat, you see how it rises, so we are so close and yet completely isolated from them. It has kept us alive for all those years. But the mountain is hollow; if you venture for a few thousand steps in the cave, you come out the other side and into a gorge. From there one can ride to Lenos all night and reach it at dawn.”
“How far is Lenos? How come they don’t use the same passage to get here?”
“They? The men of Lenos? This is a cave of skeletons. And not all the skeletons are men. It took the Dasal many years until we learned all its secrets and even more years to create new ones. You go in there without one of us as guide, you leave your bones there forever.”
We were already inside the cloud and walking faster to avoid getting wet. Zeria turned to face me.
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