by Paige Weaver
“U.S. authorities say the threat is real. Americans should be concerned. What do you say, Martin? You agree?”
A man – must be Martin - cleared his voice. “Well, Gary, my contacts in the White House are concerned. They have ample evidence that our enemies are in possession of new, specialized weapons of mass destruction and are ready to use them. The intelligence reports are staggering and frankly, quite frightening. So yes, we should be worried.”
“Haven’t we heard that before, Martin?” Gary asked, sounding bored. “I mean, come on! Do these countries really have the power to take the United States down? And some people are asking if the talk of war is just another ploy by the President to help his reelection campaign. Your take?”
Martin sighed. “Gary, I wish it was only for political reasons but consider the following: We have Russia threatening us and our allies. They are being very vocal about their firepower. We have China meeting with foreign diplomats in secret, their patience with America spent. We have North Korea manufacturing weapons that worries our government. We have terrorists in the Middle East killing U.S. soldiers on a daily basis and increasing their violence toward us, including here at home. We have sleeper cells right here in the Unites States that are growing and becoming an entity we can’t control. How can anyone ignore these facts? I can’t. The White House can’t. And the average American shouldn’t either.”
Gary didn’t respond right away. When he did his voice was dead serious. “Will the President raise the threat level to red?”
“I don’t know, Gary.” Martin said. “But even if he doesn’t the American people need to pray. We need to pray real hard.”
I reached over and turned off the radio. The last thing I wanted to listen to was chatter about a pending war. I had one building right here next to me.
I glanced over at Cat. “You gonna talk to me or you just gonna sit there and pout?”
Cat rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not pouting, Cash. Get over yourself.”
I grinned. I couldn’t help it. “Looks like pouting to me,” I said, eyeing her up and down before focusing back on the road. “But whatever it is, you look beautiful doing it.”
Cat sighed. “Just take me home, Cash.”
I wasn’t going to argue. She wanted to go home? I’d take her home. I mean, who was I trying to kid? The reality was we went together like oil and water. Sure, we fucked like rabbits and hell yeah I would do it again and again with her, but it was more than that.
It was everything about her I wanted.
I wanted to learn her fears and dreams and what made her tick. I wanted to know her past and what she wanted in the future. I wanted to know everything there was, but I had a feeling Cat didn’t let people in, especially a man like me.
We didn’t talk the rest of the way to her house. The miles flew past us, the inky darkness growing deeper as the humidity and the heat lessened.
I pulled into her long driveway and cruised up the incline, stopping near the stone path that led to her front door.
Cat sat still, staring out the windshield when I glanced over at her. She made no move to open the door and get out. I wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a really bad one.
Time ticked by. One minute. Two. I didn’t move, watching her under the shadows of my hat. She took a deep breath.
“His name was Luke.”
I didn’t need to be told what she was talking about. I remembered the initials tattooed on her body.
“You loved him,” I stated simply, more a statement than a question.
She finally looked over at me, her eyes dark in the night. “Yeah, and that’s the problem.”
Without another word, she opened the passenger door and got out.
I watched her grab her little purse off the seat, her gaze lifting to touch on mine briefly. I recognized the pride and haughty attitude behind her green irises, but there was also hurt in there too. Lots of it.
She averted her eyes from me and turned. She didn’t wait for me to get out of the truck. Instead, she walked away, heading down the path leading to her front door.
I took my time getting out. I should just hit the road. Chalk this one up to a good lay and nothing else. But my dick was leading me around like a puppet on a string. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Cat was branded on my body and soul, just like that damned initial on her hip.
Shit, I was in over my head here.
I caught up to her halfway down the walkway. “Cat, wait—” I reached out to touch her arm, not ready for her to leave me yet.
She cut me off, whirling around to face me. “Let’s get something straight, cowboy. We fucked. Twice. It was fun and exciting and hell yes, it was earth shattering, but that’s it. There’s no love. No handholding. No you and me and definitely no future or a third time. Got it?”
She had a fighter’s stance, her feet separated, her body stiff. But me? I was relaxed, one hip cocked, my face hidden under my hat.
“You done?” I asked, my voice hard. She expected me to fight, argue with her, but I didn’t. I had never begged a woman for anything and I wasn’t about to start now.
She drew in a ragged breath and took a step closer. “Hell, no. I don’t love, Cash, and I don’t care. You’re wasting your time with me so you better leave.”
The thought of walking away from her made me mad. I grabbed her arms and had her up against the outside of the house in seconds.
A tiny moan escaped her when I pushed my body against hers. The sound sent satisfaction through me and need spiking in my blood. I was getting drunk on her closeness and stoned on her beauty. I knew she wasn’t good for me, but sometimes what isn’t good feels damn right.
I grasped her neck and pulled her toward me, wanting her mouth. Seeking what wasn’t mine but had been for tonight.
Cat sucked in a breath and put a well-manicured hand on my chest, stopping me.
“What are you doing, Cash? I said there is no you and me.”
I paused, lifting my gaze from her lips to her eyes. “Well, then” I whispered. “Consider this a goodbye.”
I took her mouth, feeding my craving. I tasted her and wished to God I could have her again and again.
Her body was soft against mine, a temple I knew I shouldn’t touch but I sure as hell wanted to worship. I curved my hand around her hip, holding her steady as I deepened the kiss, eager for more.
Her lips parted, letting me in. I didn’t know if she did it on purpose or just as a natural response to a man’s lips, but I was going to show her just how I felt.
I swept my tongue into her mouth. There may not be any ‘her and me’ but until she walked away, she was mine.
She moaned against my lips. It was just what I wanted to hear. I tore my mouth from hers and tightened my fingers on the back of her neck.
“Luke was a lucky man, but I’m here now and he isn’t,” I said hoarsely.
Cat’s body grew stiff. “Damn you, Cash,” she said, her breath mixing with mine. “Damn you to hell for saying his name.”
She wiggled out of my arms and shoved past me, knocking me back a step. Her strength was no match for mine since I was twice her size and about a hundred pounds heaver, but I didn’t lift a hand to touch her.
At least until she got two steps away from me.
I reached out and grabbed her elbow, my jaw set against what I knew was coming.
Cat spun around, fire and ice mixing in her eyes.
“You’ll never be Luke, Cash,” she said, her voice sounding like silk but her words cutting into me like knives. “And I’ll never be in love with you.”
I met her toe to toe, unafraid, a little pissed, and raring to show her just who I really was under my cowboy hat.
“Well, ma’am,” I said, my voice as cold as hers. “Tell me where Luke is now? Not here. Not having you twice in one night. That was me between your legs, Cat. Not him, sweetheart.”
Cat opened her mouth then clamped it shut. Her eyes sparked h
ate and loathing and all things I imagined hell could come up with.
I ignored it all and leaned toward her, smirking and not even close to being done. “If you love him so much than why did you fuck me?”
She blinked, the anger vanishing from her eyes. That’s when I noticed it. Her green irises were drowning in tears.
The fury left me in a whoosh. I felt like I had been gutted, my heart ripped from my body. Her pain had a sharp edge to it, digging into my bones and hollowing out my soul.
“Cat, listen, I’m sorry,” I said, reaching out to touch her.
She jumped back, out of my reach. “Stay away from me. Just stay the hell away.”
She turned and hurried away. I didn’t try to stop her. I let her walk, knowing I would never see her again.
Chapter Fourteen
Cat
I shut the front door with a soft click. The shadows of the entryway surrounded me. The hum of nothingness greeted me. My chest felt tight and my lungs constricted. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t feel anything but pain.
Cash had said Luke’s name.
I slumped against the massive oak door and let my purse drop to the floor. What have I done? I let myself feel something.
I slid down to the floor, the door at my back. Tears were in my eyes but I refused to let one fall. Only the weak cried and I had proved I wasn't one of the weak.
Or was I?
I could still smell the scent of grass in my hair and taste the lasting effects of Cash on my lips. I could still feel the rawness between my legs, the ache of having him in me not once but twice. He had pushed past my barriers. Past the wall that kept memories of Luke in and everyone else out.
And I had let him.
A single tear made a slow streak down my cheek, warm against my skin. My vision became blurry. I blinked and another tear fell.
I loved Luke. I always had and I always would. He had been everything to me. My best friend and my better half. We had been young but we had been in love.
At least until he died because of me.
I stared into space, trying to remember what it had been like to lie in his arms, to feel his body against mine. The image was fuzzy, replaced instead with Cash.
I drew in a shaky breath. I couldn't fall for someone, never again. Luke was dead, buried in a cold, dark grave. Putting him there had almost killed me.
I swore I would never leave myself open to hurt or love again and here I was, tempted by one but in the grips of another.
I angrily wiped the tears off my face, hating them. I was the daughter of the most influential businessman in Texas and my mother was the queen bitch. I was cold and calculating. I used men, for god’s sake. I shouldn’t feel something for some random cowboy I met in a honkytonk a few days ago.
But I did and that’s what worried me.
My phone vibrated in my purse, interrupting my pity party. I wanted to ignore it, afraid it might be Cash, but the little humming noise mocked me.
I grabbed my purse with aggravation and dug my phone out.
What were you doing with the guy from the bar?
The text was blurry thanks to my tears. I swiped them away and read it again. It was from Tessa. I was reluctant to answer but knew if I didn't she would be messaging me all night.
Don't feel like talking. Later.
I typed then hit send. A second later my phone vibrated again.
Tell.
Pain squeezed my heart as I typed three little words.
I miss him.
Tessa didn't respond right away. I held the phone tight, my fingers gripping the hard case painfully. I needed her to reply. I wanted someone to talk to. Someone to assure me that I would be okay.
The phone buzzed again.
I take it u fucked the cowboy?
The words hurt because I saw the underlining meaning. Tessa knew what I did in the name of grief.
I flung the phone in my purse, tired of Tessa’s shit. I didn’t need her telling me that Luke wouldn’t want me living like this. I knew that. I lived with the knowledge every day. I didn’t need Tessa telling me what I was doing was wrong. She just didn’t understand. The alcohol…the parties…the men…they were my way to forget. My distraction from the pain.
My phone vibrated again but I paid no attention to it. Instead I pushed myself to my feet. My dress stuck to my body and my panties were a lost cause. I ached in all the right places and still throbbed deep inside from Cash’s width and length. I just wanted to get to my room without being discovered by Tate or Nathan. I couldn’t handle seeing the pity on their faces if they saw me or my tears.
I grabbed my purse and started down the hallway. I was careful not to make any sounds as I walked through the house.
The second floor was dark and empty when I got to it. I rushed to my room, yanking out my earrings as I went. As soon as I shut the bedroom door, I slipped off my heels, leaving them where they landed.
Next was my dress. I pulled it over my head and left it on top of a discarded pair of four hundred dollar jeans. I padded through my bedroom in nothing but my panties, heading for my private bathroom. I couldn’t get there fast enough. I needed hot water to wash away the scent of Cash on me and the wetness left between my legs.
In the bathroom I turned the hot water on full blast. The room quickly filled with steam as I shoved my underwear down my legs and stepped out of them.
I tried not to think about how many times Cash had yanked them down. About how it felt when he ran his hands up my legs.
Scalding water made me hiss when I stepped in the shower, but I needed the prickles of pain it caused on my skin.
Closing my eyes, I turned my face to the spray. Needles of water hit me and took away the tears. But instead of helping me to forget, it brought back memories.
A rainy night. A car. A tree. And blood. Lots of blood.
Chapter Fifteen
Cat
The house was little. Too small for the amount of kids in it and too old to withstand the loud music and spilled drinks of the party.
I was leaning against a faded, tattered couch, sucking down a wine cooler. My best friend, Jenna, stood beside me, checking out the guys and drinking herself silly. She was a judge’s daughter, born with a silver spoon in her mouth just like me. Her mama was a real estate agent in Dallas, selling high rises and earning the big bucks to support her twenty-three year old pool boy who rocked her world.
Then rocked Jenna’s on the weekends.
Jenna and I had recently graduated from private school in Dallas, top of our class in every way. She had come home with me for the weekend, both of us looking forward to parties and drinking with no rules or parents around. She was a city girl, through and through, but she was enjoying all the cowboys and ranchers’ sons in town.
Speaking of a rancher’s kid, my eyes caught a movement in the doorway. A tall, muscular guy walked in, his gaze going around the room with measured precision. I watched him and raised the wine cooler to my mouth to take another long drink.
He was good looking, built like a quarterback and confident in every way that counted. I knew that he had a badass tattoo on his shoulder and a scar on his hip. I knew that his favorite color was army green and his eyes were a bright, bright blue.
His gaze skipped around the room. I stayed still, waiting and watching for him to notice me. When he did, he smiled. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I loved him. I might have loved him from the first moment I met him, back when we were thirteen.
He started toward me, at least a head taller than most of the people in the room. My vision faded for a second but I blinked and it cleared away. The effects of the wine cooler were hitting me harder than I thought they would on an empty stomach.
I didn’t pay any attention to Jenna as Luke headed my way. If I could go back in time, I would slap the girl I had been. Tell her to put the drink down and pay attention to her best friend. It would be the last conversation they had together. The last moment Jen
na made me laugh.
I pushed away from the couch and tried to blink away the spinning room. It wasn’t working but Luke would save me. He always did. With him I felt loved and cared for, something I had never felt before unless you counted Nathan stepping in and taking care of me when I was younger.
Luke strolled over to me, his grin widening.
“Hey, babe,” he said when he got closer. He ran his hand around my waist, pulling me into him. “Missed you.”
“How much?” I asked, pressing my breasts into his chest and smiling dreamily, thanks to the number of drinks I had consumed.
Luke grinned and lowered his head, putting his mouth near my ear. “Let’s get out of here and I’ll show you.”
I didn’t waste any more time. I grabbed Jenna’s hand. “Let’s go.”
She argued but I didn’t want to hear it. Luke wanted sex and I desperately wanted him too. The party sucked anyway so I was doing Jenna a favor. I was just a good friend that way.
So we followed Luke out of the house. I kept my hand wrapped around Jenna’s so she wouldn’t escape. We had both been drinking, one of us forgetting to watch out for the other. But Luke hadn’t had one beer. At least one of us was sober.
The crowd parted for him, making it a breeze to leave. Outside the ground was wet thanks to a storm that had just blown through and left.
We hurried and followed Luke across the mud-splattered yard, heading for the trucks and cars parked helter-skelter everywhere on the owner’s lawn. Music from the house echoed behind us, enticing us to return.
I danced behind Luke, shaking my butt at Jenna then laughing when she started humping me.
Luke chuckled, stopping to wrap his arm around my waist and help me the rest of the way to his car. I somehow managed to put one foot in front of the other, keeping my eyes on his black Ford Mustang parked ahead. It looked dangerous and fast, sending a thrill of excitement through me.
He opened the passenger door and helped me inside. I fell into the seat. My skirt slid up my legs, exposing my panties. I giggled and Luke just grinned, his eyes dropping with hunger to my crotch.