by Danni Roan
“Better?” Teddy asked, stacking meat and cheese between two pieces of bread. “You have to eat proper when you’re workin’ on a ranch.”
Amanda gazed into her teacup, catching a glimpse of her hands that still appeared red from the hot water used to scrub the plates clean.
“I’m so useless,” Amanda sighed. “I don’t know how Rosa does this every day.”
Teddy chuckled, taking a huge bite of his sandwich. “She’s been working her whole life. She grew into it.”
Amanda sagged, “I’ll never fit in.”
“Don’t worry, darlin’,” Teddy grinned around his sandwich. “You’re new. I was new once too.”
Amanda’s eyes fluttered, shocked at her husband’s poor manners, but intrigued by his words. Taking a piece of bread, she pulled off a piece eating it in a delicate bite.
“When Cap’n Dan come here, I didn’t know a thing about cows. To tell the truth, they scared me.” Teddy washed down his bite with a swig of bitter tea. “Now look at me. I’m a top hand and someone the Captain depends on.”
Amanda smiled, letting Theo’s words sink in, giving her hope.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Teddy continued. “Just take it a day at a time. If you’re tired, tell Rosa and come on home. She and Cookie can manage just fine on their own.”
Teddy reached out, patting Amanda’s knee. “My mother used to tell me a story about a tortoise and a hare. It seems they were challenged to a race and the hare was so confident he could beat that old tortoise he done took a nap.” Teddy’s laugh was bright, though his eyes were sad. “That slow, steady, tortoise just kept going till he got to the finish line.”
“Are you calling me a tortoise?” Amanda grinned, taking Theo’s point.
“Darlin’, just take your time and you’ll get there in the end.”
Amanda leaned over, pecking Teddy on the cheek. He was being kind, and she would accept it as that.
Chapter 10
The rest of the week seemed to blur and Amanda tried her best to keep up with the work Rosa had for her, but it was so grueling she often returned home at noon whether Theo was going to be there or not.
With each day on the ranch, Amanda noticed new things, moments of beauty in wildflowers thriving in the dusty earth, or a new foal frolicking with its mother in a field. Her favorite afternoon past time was watching the birds.
With plentiful water close at hand, the birds seemed to congregate in the trees around her new home, their cheerful song lifting her spirits. She was weary. Her hands were raw and she felt like a complete failure as a wife, but still, she tried.
Amanda placed the food items on the trunk where she and Theodore had been enjoying their afternoon repast then flopped down onto the bed. If she could just close her eyes for a few minutes, she would feel better.
***
Teddy walked into his cabin as the afternoon sun was slipping toward the western horizon. It had been a long day, and he had expected to see Amanda at the supper table. When Rosa explained that Amanda had gone home shortly after lunch, his heart lurched as worry and fear clutched at it.
Perhaps he hadn’t known the young woman long, but the joy of coming home to her every day, brought was inexplicable.
“Please, Lord, let her be all right,” he whispered as he rushed home and pushed open the door, sucking in a relieved breath when he saw his wife asleep in their bed.
Teddy looked around the cabin, checking that nothing else could be wrong, and spotted the plate of cold meat and cheese on the trunk. Various items of clothing were scattered throughout the house and one of Amanda’s trunks stood open, frilly things spilling onto the floor.
Walking to the bed, Teddy squatted, looking into Amanda’s sleeping face. She looked so peaceful, he didn’t want to disturb her, but the dark circles under her eyes worried him.
Gently, he brushed a lock of brown hair from her brow, smiling when her blue eyes fluttered open.
“Theo,” Amanda sighed, pushing herself upright and rubbing her eyes. “You came home for lunch.”
“Darlin’, it’s time for supper,” Teddy said. “Have you been asleep all afternoon?”
“I’m so sorry.” Amanda blushed, dropping her eyes as tears appeared. “I didn’t mean to sleep. I was just so tired.”
Teddy grasped Amanda’s hands in his, scowling when she flinched. “Your hands?” he Iquestioned. “They’re nigh unto raw.”
“I’m afraid I’m not used to washing things myself.” Amanda tried to hide her hands, but Teddy held them gently in his. “I’ve been putting cream on them, but it doesn’t seem to help.”
Teddy lifted one of her hands, examining it. The delicate skin was chafed and red. “I’ll get you something for it,” he smiled. “You just sit here a minute.”
“But what about supper?”
“Don’t you worry about supper,” Teddy cast a reassuring smile over his shoulder. “I’ll see to that.”
Amanda watched as Theo hurried from the house, hanging her head in shame. She had been a fool to come here as a bride. She hadn’t been raised to this kind of life, and she was sure she was a terrible disappointment to her husband and his friends. Hot tears splashed onto her hands, stinging the roughened skin, and the tears fell faster.
“I’m just tired,” the young woman chided herself. “I’ll be alright after some food and a good night’s sleep.”
Nearly half an hour passed before Teddy returned, and Amanda worried that he had gone to supper without her, seeking a chance to complain about her performance with his friends. Her heart squeezed at the thought. Perhaps she didn’t know Teddy yet, but he seemed such a gentle soul, and she thought he liked her. Amanda felt terrible for being a disappointment.
A bright smile broke across her face as Teddy pushed open the door carrying a heavily laden tray to the trunk and setting it there. A moment later, he was kneeling before her again, unscrewing the lid of a small jar of dark ointment.
“It doesn’t smell very good,” Amanda said as Teddy began applying the salve to her hands.
“But how does it feel?”
Amanda pulled her hands back, rubbing the dark, acrid smelling substance into her hands and sighing as the cracked skin drank it in. “It feels much better.”
Teddy smiled. “You put your gloves on over that and then we’ll eat. You don’t want to have to smell that while you’re enjoying your dinner.”
Taking Amanda’s arm, he helped her to the table and settled her on the cowhide covered bench. She looked tired and frail sitting on the hard surface, surrounded by the rustic composition of his home. Perhaps Olive had been right and Amanda deserved better than him. She should have been a gentleman’s wife, living a life of luxury and ease, not working her fingers to the bone on a ranch.
Teddy dropped his head in shame at his selfishness, but he knew he was already growing to love his wife. She was innocent, sweet, and determined, though somewhat lost when it came to homemaking. He gazed around at the disheveled cabin then looked back to her.
“Let me help,” he said, taking a plate and filling it with meat, rice, and beans. “I know it’s not fancy, but it will fill your belly and put some color back into your cheeks.”
“Thank you for being so kind,” Amanda sniffed, taking the plate from him. “I’m sorry I’m so useless.”
Teddy took the plate, placing it back on the trunk as he pulled his young wife into his arms, letting her tears soak into his collar as she wept out her despair. If only he could think of a way to make her understand how special she was.
“Are you feeling better?” Teddy asked once they had finished the meal. It had taken some coaxing, but he had convinced Amanda she would feel better with a full belly.
“Yes. Thank you.” Amanda looked up, meeting Theo’s eyes. “I guess I was just tired and hungry.”
“I’ll tell you what,” Teddy grinned, “how about we go to town tomorrow. We can have dinner at the Hampton House, and you can see your friends. Dan can do wit
hout me for a day.”
Amanda’s eyes sparkled with delight. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Teddy grinned, seeing how the idea had cheered her. “I’ll talk to Dan tonight, and we can go tomorrow.”
Amanda looked down at her dress, now stained from working in the main house with Rosa. She should probably look into more practical clothing for everyday use.
“Thank you,” Amanda’s voice was soft. “It would be nice to see Olive and the rest of the Hamptons. They were very kind to me while I was there.”
Teddy’s grin brightened. “I’ll tell you what, you pack a bag, and we’ll stay at the boarding house for the night and go to church on Sunday. We can buy a picnic from Olive and make a day of it.”
“But that will be expensive.” Amanda looked up at the simple house around her, surprised when Theo’s face darkened.
“I can afford to take my wife to town,” he growled, standing to his feet and collecting the dishes. “I ain’t some wet behind the ears boy who doesn’t know enough to save his pay.”
Amanda gaped as Theodore loaded the tray with the dishes and stormed from the house. Still stunned by Theo’s behavior, Amanda rose and began picking up the items of clothing scattered about the house. She had always had someone to help her at home. A maid to clean and a girl to help her dress and care for her clothing.
Bundling a dress in her arms, she walked to her trunk, longing for someplace to hang her garments for easy access. How would she ever adapt to this life? What had she said that upset Theodore so? Somewhere between stepping onto the train that brought her to Texas, and now, life had become very complicated. Amanda understood how to make her way in the social rounds of her Virginia home, but Texas was like being in a foreign country where she didn’t know the language, rules, or etiquette.
Teddy returned as Amanda was placing two of her best dresses into a bag. She wanted to go to town, but she didn’t want to overtax her new husband. She needed to learn how to carry her own weight. Theodore had wanted a wife, not a helpless child.
“Good, you’re getting ready,” Teddy looked over at his wife, feeling awkward at his snappishness from earlier. He wanted Amanda to know that he could care for and provide for her, even if he couldn’t afford fancy dresses, a big house, and all the niceties she’d grown up with.
“I’ve packed a few dresses, and my night things, just the items I’ll need,” Amanda smiled, looking at the two bags she had filled moments ago.
“You packed one for me, thank you.”
“I,” Amanda looked between Theo and the bags. “I will.” She smiled, trying to put a brighter note on her mistake.
“You need two bags?” Teddy looked at the bags, then at his wife, who smoothed her ruffled dress.
“I can leave one,” Amanda sniffed, feeling foolish.
Teddy’s shoulders fell. He had upset Amanda with his ignorance. It wasn’t what he had intended, and he moved toward her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t know what a woman needs when she travels,” he said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “I’ll just put my Sunday duds in a bag, don’t worry.”
A flicker of annoyance shot through Amanda as she pulled away. Theo was patronizing her. Perhaps she wasn’t a good wife or efficient in homemaking, but she was not useless. “I’ll pack your things.”
Teddy scratched his head, wondering what he had done this time. He had been lonely for so long. Sure, he had his friends, the men he had fought and traveled with, but having someone to love had lingered as the desire of his heart for a long time.
Perhaps the wedding was only the beginning of a relationship. Teddy had much to learn about loving a woman and keeping a wife. Running his hands through his hair, he thought about Amanda’s agitation. He didn’t even know what he had done to upset his pretty bride.
Turning, Teddy strode to the window, gazing out across the slope of the hill leading toward the pools. He wanted to talk to Amanda, to pour out his heart, share his past and his future, but they were so far apart, how would he ever share the darkness in his soul.
Uncertain what else to do, he pulled his mouth organ from his pocket and stepped out onto the porch while Amanda prepared his things.
Pressing the harmonica to his lips, he let a sad, trilling note drift into the afternoon sky. Old sorrows, aching hurts, and days of blood and fear, pooled in his chest escaping with the sad song as he thought.
***
Amanda hustled around the cabin, her temper simmering as she felt like a stupid little girl. She should have thought to pack a bag for Theodore. Gathering her discarded dresses and stuffing them into her trunk. It was inconvenient not having anywhere to hang her things for easy access.
Outside, a sad song drifted toward the oncoming night, and Amanda’s heart sagged. There was so much she didn’t know about the man she had married. She didn’t even know he played the harmonica.
Finishing her work, she stepped out onto the porch, prepared to apologize and explain.
“We can go to the store tomorrow,” Teddy spoke, still staring out over the hills. “If you need anything.”
Amanda turned, clutching her favorite lavender dress to her bosom. “I was wondering about one thing,” Amanda spoke, feeling nervous about asking. She didn’t want to be wasteful with Theo’s resources, but this item seemed like a necessity, not a convenience.
“Whatever you need,” Teddy turned, smiling his encouragement. “You’re my wife, and I want to take care of you.”
Amanda swallowed hard, meeting his eyes. “I’d like a tub.”
Teddy blinked, surprised at the request. The men on the ranch either washed in the spring or used a big tub in the bunkhouse in the winter. He looked down at his sweat and dust-covered clothing. After a day in the saddle, he needed a good wash and would have headed to the spring on Sunday morning.
“We’ll see to it,” Teddy grinned, walking across the porch and kissing her cheek. “Maybe Darwin will even have found us a sidesaddle as well.”
Amanda smiled, relieved at Theo’s agreement. Perhaps this weekend trip to town would turn out well after all.
Chapter 11
“Thank you for driving us to town, Rosa,” Amanda said as Theodore handed her down from the wagon.
“I am happy to come,” Rosa smiled, handing Christina to Teddy. “I needed to come, and it will be nice to see Olive and the family.”
Teddy offered a hand to Rosa, but she ignored it, hopping out of the wagon with a flurry of skirts.
“What will you do today?” Rosa asked, looking between the two newlyweds. “You bring horses to come back, but how you will fill your time?”
“I’m looking forward to visiting with the Hampton’s,” Amanda said. “Tell Olive we’ll be along shortly.”
Rosa grinned, giving Teddy a wink as she took Christina and headed into the boarding house.
“Is there something you wanted to do before you see Olive?” Teddy looked down at his petite wife, curiously. “Do you need to go to the store?”
“No,” Amanda shook her head, gazing up and down the street. “I just wanted a minute to look at Needful. It isn’t much, but it feels nice to be back in a town.”
Teddy scowled, not liking Amanda’s comment. He knew that adjusting to life on a ranch would be difficult, but she was a smart, plucky, young woman and would soon adapt. “You don’t like my place?”
“No. I mean, yes. I like it just fine, but I’m used to the hustle of a big city with shops and people. I just need to see that I’m not alone.”
Teddy’s scowl deepened. “I’m sorry if you’re lonely.”
Amanda laid a hand on Teddy’s arm. She was making a mess of things and knew it. “I’m not lonely,” she sighed. “I just need a little connection now and then. I love working with Rosa; she’s very patient, and Christina is a joy. I, I guess I just need a little noise now and then.”
A group of rowdy cowboys came galloping up the street as Amanda finished speaking and she crowded in close to Theod
ore who wrapped an arm around her protectively. “Maybe not that much noise,” she grinned as the fast riders disappeared out of town.
“Why don’t you go in and visit with Olive and the girls. I’ll take the horses and wagon to the livery and bring our bags in once I’m done.”
“Thank you,” Amanda stretched toward Theo, kissing him on the cheek. “I think this is just what I needed.” A break from her ineptitude might give her the strength to carry on.
Teddy watched Amanda walk into the boarding house, listening as old friends greeted her. Was he ever going to be enough for the beautiful woman God had dropped in his lap? Something squirmed in his belly, reminding him that he was no one from nowhere. What right did he have to love a girl like Amanda?