Naturally that stopped when I came into view. The other one was Bethany, both went white as a sheet as their mouths shut with distinct clacks. I looked at them both for a long moment, my expression neutral. Neither met my eyes, simply staring at their shoes.
I walked on, making my way up the stairs, embarrassed and resentful.
Well... so what else is new? People talked about me behind my back before, why should things be any different now?
I stuck my head into Tethys' study, but it was empty. So I found Cassandra and warned her about Solomon. She said she'd increase the guard, not that it mattered. Even the half-breed couldn't do any harm in Blackhold. But she did say that she would make sure that nobody went anywhere alone until the crisis was resolved.
She suggested dinner, but I begged off and went to bed instead, tired and angry and thoroughly in a bad mood.
I woke up with the Pixies curled up beside me, no sign of Tethys or Kandi, which was unusual. The little Fairies hugged me hello in their usual sweet way, and I dressed before carrying them down to breakfast on my shoulders and head.
Cassandra and Demise were there, eating porridge of all things. I dropped the Pixies off in their fruit bowl and sat in my usual spot.
"Bacon is available, and you're eating grains?" I asked as one of the valets placed a proper, meat-based, breakfast in front of me.
"Some of us take care of ourselves," Cassandra said, pinching a sausage off my plate.
"Hey!" I complained.
"It doesn't count if it's stolen," she said, chewing happily.
I opened my mouth to protest, but the door to the breakfast room thumped open and Kandi fell in, dressed in her 'Carol' outfit and darted to me.
"Matty!" she said, excited and a little shaky.
"What is it?" I asked, standing to look at her, alert for danger.
"Big business deal about to go down the tubes. It's my father, we need him to sign on the dotted, but he'll only talk to the 'man in charge', the chauvinist pisshead. Come help? Oh, and you're also my fiancée. And put an Illusion over the scars and the eyes?"
I barely had time to comply with her instructions before I was dragged away from my breakfast (which the two 'dieting' vultures were already reaching for) and into the front hall. I was dressed in tracksuit bottoms and a baggy t-shirt under a light zipped up cardigan, hardly impressive. I made that point to Kandi, but she just snorted and led me to the drawing room door. She looked me over with a critical eye and moved her head up to kiss my unscarred cheek (she knew not to disrupt the illusion over the other side through contact).
"You'll do fine. This needs to happen, Matty. Just keep him happy and get him to sign, no matter what he says, okay? Just agree with it. Channel Faust's personality, that's what we need here."
I frowned, but nodded. I didn't like it, but I nodded. She'd mentioned chauvinism rather pointedly; couple that with Faust, and I could figure out the role she needed me to play. I didn't like the idea at all. If my mother ever found out...
But it was for Kandi, so I'd play the slime.
All I knew about Kandi's father was that he hit his wife (and occasionally his kids), and that he was a mean drunk. If I'd met him in any other context, I'd have done him a line of mischief that would make Lord Faust feel better about his lot in life.
Kandi opened the door and we found Tethys pouring coffee for a middle aged man wearing a grey silk suit, pink shirt and tie. He was a handsome enough man, with a distinguished air and salt and pepper hair. I didn't see much resemblance to Kandi, but I was willing to accept that he was the man I'd be introducing to Neil one day.
"Mister Thornsby," I said, extending my hand, "Mathew Graves."
"Ah!" he said, standing and offering a firm handshake, "A pleasure to finally meet the man I've really been negotiating with. Very clever, working through proxies, and such attractive ones, too."
He gave Tethys a good leer. I nearly removed his bladder control out of spite.
I smiled instead.
"Ah, well, I'm a busy man," I said, "My partners ensure that I only spend my time on worthwhile projects."
He chuckled.
"Well, Mister Graves-"
"Lord Graves, actually, but let's not rest on formality," I said, sitting down on the sofa next to Tethys, where Kandi joined me, placing her hand on my thigh.
"A Lord!" he said, "Well done, Carol. Strange that you never sought me out. It used to be that young men asked permission of fathers before marrying daughters."
"Why would I ask for something that already belongs to me?" I asked, placing a possessive hand on the back of Kandi's neck. She shivered under the touch, and I felt Tethys tense slightly next to me. She wasn't offended, though; the weirdo was blushing!
I still felt sick talking like that, but Kandi wanted this done, so done it would be.
The bastard grinned widely, settling back with his coffee cup.
"I like your style, Graves, though I have to say you're not what I expected one of my daughters to go for. All that hippie crap their mother spouted, I would have expected a less driven man," he said, winking at Kandi.
"Carol knows a good deal when she sees it," I replied, "Now, what can I do for you? I'm told that you're having reservations."
"Not really. I just felt that I should meet the man I'm going into business with. You can't trust representatives."
I shrugged, "Well, now you've met me."
"I have. And, frankly, you seem a tad young to go into business with. Why should I trust my investment to a kid?"
"Has Carol told you about my situation?" I asked.
"Not much. She mentioned that you're a Magician. Made me wonder if you'd bewitched her or something."
He was half serious, but not disapproving, the animal.
I smiled nastily, an expression he returned, looking over Tethys as well. Let him assume, it only made our position stronger.
"Let's just say I get what I set my eyes on," I said, "but what you may not be aware of is that Magicians don't age at the same rate as the rest of the population. A person could look like me, and if he's strong enough, may be more than say, one hundred and thirty-two years old."
He nodded sagely.
"And further, such a man may have the resources to ensure that his records show nothing more than a modest nineteen, so as to propagate the idea that he's nothing more than an inexperienced boy, and thus no threat. In theory," I said, nibbling on a custard cream.
He smiled widely before laughing boisterously.
"Well! That certainly explains a few things!" he said loudly, clapping his hands together, "That's a clever wheeze, indeed!"
I nodded at the compliment.
"I have to say, I was half way convinced to drop this whole thing. After all, the recommendation came from Carol, who hasn't ever really been much a judge of men, if you know what I mean," he said with a sneer.
"Know and appreciate," I said, matching his expression with one of my own, nodding towards Tethys.
He laughed again, thoroughly enjoying himself. It was getting harder and harder not to do something nasty to him.
"Oh, I think we'll get on just fine," he said, "and of course, welcome to the family."
He nodded to me, saluting with his cup.
I nodded back, feeling dirty after that charade.
"Milord, you have that appointment in fifteen minutes," Tethys whispered.
"Hm?" I said, affecting disinterest.
Tethys tapped her watch.
"Oh, not those idiots again?" I said in a growl that made Thornsby lean back, "Apologies Mister Thornsby. A charity I was dealing with are annoyed because they were unknowingly providing silk for a golden parachute."
He laughed again; I think he loved me a little bit. It was creeping me out something vicious.
"I'll leave you in the hands of my partners," I said.
While I go throw up...
I stood up, and he did as well. We shook hands and I left them to it, not bothering to look back at th
em.
As soon as I was out of earshot, I ran to the shower to scrub the dirt off me. I felt unclean after playing that role. After that, I went to the nearest flower shop and bought a huge bunch each of Kandi's favourite lilies and Tethys' red roses. I felt a distinct need to apologise, even though they made me do it!
It was another hour before they were done and had seen that man out of my house. They came into my library looking for me.
"I'm really, really so-" I started before Kandi jumped onto me and bowled me over onto a sofa, where she started kissing me fiercely all over my face.
"You," kisses.
"Wonderful," more kisses.
"Man," even more kisses.
I patted her back and just went with it. It was rather nice...
After a few wonderful moments of this, she focussed more and more on my lips until the pretence was completely abandoned and we simply laid there, kissing intently, our arms around each other.
Like I said, I could very easily fall for Kandi, and allowing that self-indulgence was not good for my long-term mental health. But damn if it wasn't wonderful. Kandi was a spectacular kisser. I felt her go for her shirt, and I didn't stop her. But Tethys took the opportunity to interrupt (the cow), pulling Kandi's head up to plant a deep kiss on her lips, which snapped me out of my fantasy.
Quite right. Tethys' girl, bad form on my part, letting it go on for as long as it had.
Kandi stayed perched on my waist and was making some interesting noises as Tethys went about her business.
"Oh, you bitch," Kandi said without heat as Tethys finished her ministrations.
"Sweetie, don't play with toys you can't appreciate," Tethys said, jerking her head in a distinctly 'off' direction.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Kandi asked, glaring at her mentor.
"Are you planning to marry him? Settle down, have his kids? He wants kids, Kandi, lots of them. Why do you think he lives in this Brobdingnagian monstrosity?" Tethys asked.
Well, it was the official residence, but she had a point. I did want a big family one day.
Kandi went bright red. And good grief, did they have to have this conversation while I was in the room? Or under one of them...
"Maybe," Kandi said finally, Tethys blinked.
"He's monogamous, Kandi. Are you?" Tethys said finally, "And if you don't know, don't try it out on the one man you can't bear to hurt. That neither of us can bear to hurt. Why do you think I stopped?"
Kandi let out a frustrated sound, but slid off me and to the far end of the sofa, letting me sit up. I coughed and shook my head, now rather confused myself.
"Fine," Kandi said at last, "Sorry I did that, Matty."
"Well, I'm not. I mostly sorry that you stopped," I said, which made them both laugh.
Kandi gave me a hug and kissed my cheek, a little more conservatively this time, and settled back into her usual spot over my lap, her head in the crook of my arm.
"Got you going there a little, did I?" she asked, nudging a sensitive spot.
I tickled her ear and she subsided.
"Thank you for helping," she said after a minute.
"You did spectacularly well," Tethys agreed, "just the right combination of sleaze and chauvinism. Perfect."
She kissed the top of my head and dropped onto the sofa, lifting Kandi's legs onto her lap, stroking them while I did the little redhead's back.
"Oh, that's nice," Kandi purred.
"This isn't normal, is it?" I asked Tethys gesturing at Kandi.
"Shh, don't ruin it," Kandi whispered.
Tethys and I chatted idly while Kandi drifted off, nuzzled happily into my chest.
"So, you feel like telling me what all that was about? I showered twice and still don't feel like I'm clean," I said.
Tethys smiled, sliding in closer so she could lean her head on my shoulder.
"That was the last phase in Kandi's little revenge plan," she replied, "It's all very complex, but, essentially, he just signed away control of the company he spent thirty years building."
"Nice. How much did it cost?"
"We'll make a profit in the end..." she said evasively.
"That much, huh?"
She shrugged.
"If you wanted him broken, I could have done the job with a fraction of the effort."
"Kandi wanted to do it, and it was her right to do so."
I sighed, "Fair enough."
"You played that very well, I have to say. I didn't think you had it in you, it was a little... hot, actually."
"Agreed," Kandi said, not quite as asleep as we thought, "Hence my inappropriate oopsie."
"You two can't be serious! You have to be the most pro-feminist women I've ever met, I'm surprised you can even look at me after that!"
"It's sort of a power fantasy," Kandi said, "Try not to over-think it."
"Your entire gender is insane."
"Ooh, now say it in a firm, authoritative tone and maybe pinch me a little bit," Kandi said.
Tethys sniggered.
Chapter 13
When I got back to Naiad Hall on Monday morning, things were a little odd.
Namely, it had been covered in pink lavatory paper, well not covered, but there was enough to wipe the bottoms of an entire regiment of Amazons.
And when I got within three steps of the place, eggs descended on me from a great height. I didn't even notice until I'd taken three to the head and one to the chest (out of a volley of twenty-plus; terrible accuracy, but enough to annoy me considerably just the same).
"Girl power!" someone screeched from one of the upper windows, a cry that was taken up by the whole building, from what I could see.
My first impressions were of confusion.
Was that even a thing, now? As far as I was concerned the battle of the sexes had ended in a rather stunning victory for the lady's team quite some time ago. Goodness knows I was as whipped as an unmarried man could be.
They threw more eggs. They splattered against my Will shield as I approached the front door, which was barricaded shut.
"Stay away from here, oppressor!" said a girl's voice from the other side of the barrier.
"But my stuff's in there, and I have a class in fifteen minutes," I said reasonably, "and now I also need to shower, thanks a bunch, by the way."
"Well you can't, this is a house of the Goddess now!"
"Look, either open this door, or I'll do it a mischief!"
"You wouldn't dare!"
I sighed, "More than a third of the people who live here are male, where are they?" I asked.
"Some are still in here, prisoners of the movement!" she said triumphantly.
"They are there voluntarily, right? This isn't something the police have to deal with, is it?" I asked, a little worried. I hadn't had much experience with university activism, who knows what they might get up to?
"No! Just... just be cool!" the voice spluttered, "We're trying to do a whole women's rights thing, here!"
"Well, can you do it while letting me get to my room so I can wash the egg off myself?" I asked.
There was an intense discussion on the other side of the door before the spokesperson spoke again.
"No."
"Oh for heaven's sake," I said, turning around.
My shields took more hits as I wrapped my Shadows around myself and flew towards my bedroom window. I took more hits to my defences after a moment's stunned surprise, but nothing actually got to me, and then I was safely inside.
I cast a simple spell to get the egg off my clothes and hair before gathering up my things and walking to the window again (I didn't actually need to shower; I just thought they might show a little compassion for an eggy person).
There was a pounding on my door as I got my foot over the sill.
"Open in the name of Gaia!" said a high voice from the other side.
"Oh dear," I said, darting back to my door and nicking my thumb on a Shadow so I could spread a little blood and enchant it again
st opening. It should last about a day or so. I hated enchantment, and I was awful at it. I was barely capable of this quick and cheap stuff, good thing it wasn't in the Magic tests. It was considered a form of crafting, and thus was examined under a different skill set (which I didn't have).
I jumped out the window as they started kicking, and best of luck to them, the poor idiots...
When I came back at five, they were still there, and music was blaring, loud and horrible. I sighed as I approached, taking in the various feminine banners, and some rather unpleasant slogans including suggestions involving shears and male genitalia; such a lovely group...
It was getting dark, and nobody challenged me as I flew into my room. I texted Tom, who'd been uncharacteristically quiet all day, and when he didn't reply for an hour, I went to look for him.
I found him tied to his bed, stark naked but for a small face flannel in a strategic location, he didn't look happy.
"Don't ask, just get me out of here before they come back!" he hissed.
I gestured and the ropes parted, not that they were especially tight, but he still rubbed his wrists and ankles before dressing quickly.
"Why'd they have you tied up?" I asked, suppressing a grin.
"They said I was disrespectful to women," he muttered, "and that I was treating them as interchangeable."
"And for that they tied you up?" I asked, "And you let them?"
"They said they were doing it for different reasons when they were actually doing it," he muttered, going bright red.
"Oh."
"Want to go to the Union?" he asked hopefully, "I don't feel too safe in here."
Oh, I really didn't want to do that...
But the poor bugger looked so wretched... at first glance. Taking a closer look at his expression, I quickly came to the conclusion that he just wanted to brag.
"Fine," I said with a sigh, he really was my only friend in that dump.
He grinned and pulled on a jacket before following me downstairs.
"Men!" said a loud, shrieky voice as we walked down the stairs, "Men walking around free!"
I looked up to see one of the girls from our floor. Mary, I think her name was. She was tall and skinny, wearing a flowery outfit, loose and baggy, but still nice to look at, with flowers painted on her face and a glittery headband keeping her red hair off her face.
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