by Karen Lynne
He looked away from her as his jaw clenched. “You distract me,” he admitted.
She could feel her face heat as he looked back to her, his expression worn and tired. “I have too much to handle, and little time. I can’t focus on the task at hand with you snooping around distracting me. It’s best if you keep away. Just until I get things sorted.”
Patience’s lips parted as she tried to come up with a response. She relaxed. It felt good to know she was a distraction, a pleasant distraction she hoped.
“Two heads are better than one,” she reminded him. “I could help you. Please let me try.” Her heart yearned to be close to him. To help him overcome this trial. Recently he would have let her and been happy about it. She didn’t like that her actions strained their relationship.
Walter shook his head. But she refused to let it drop. She needed to get through to him. If she didn’t, she feared she would lose his trust forever.
She took his hand, not caring who witnessed it. “I will not give up on you,” she said fiercely. “You know of my feelings for you. Please let me help.”
He didn’t respond, so she pressed on.
“I already know your financial situation,” she whispered. “I spoke with the Browns. They are worried about the stability of the estate. The entire village knows of your financial struggles, and your tenants are worried they will lose everything if the estate is sold. Walter, you must help them.”
Walter’s eyes grew sharp. “Have you been snooping into my affairs?”
“Certainly not.” She felt affronted. “Mrs. Brown gave me shelter during the rain. She told me of the village gossip and her concern for the estate.”
Walter let out a breath. His features softened, though she could see the stress behind his eyes. He looked at her for the first time, taking in her limp hair and muddied hem. He shook his head, a low laugh escaping his lips.
“You really don’t give up, do you?” A smile played about his tired lips.
Lips she wanted to kiss.
“Your mother will be unhappy that you’ve damaged your skirt.”
“My maid will take it to the laundry before she finds out,” Patience bit her lip. Trying to remain firm. “I’m helping you, no matter what you say. I understand that you are under a lot of stress. You need my help.”
She shook her head, fighting back a smile. Was she finally getting through to him?
He ran a hand through his hair. “Yes, my brother left the estate deeply in debt, but I have no intention of selling the estate. I’m handling it now, but I’ve got my brother’s death occupying my mind and the case I left behind in London.”
“Why don’t you drop the case?” Patience asked. “It will take the pressure off. Surely someone else can take over in your stead. Your brother was killed, won’t they understand?”
“I can’t. It will secure my career and I cannot let my mentor, Mr. Welsh, down. He has assured me I will be highly compensated and sought after if we win this case. After finding my family’s estate in financial strain, I need this case more than ever.”
Patience bit her bottom lip. “You must take me with you when you go.”
Walter leveled her with a stern stare. “Patience, we’ve talked about this.”
“I’m old enough to make my own decisions. I don’t need my parents’ blessing.”
Walter shut his mouth. His face became dark, and he began to walk again, leading her toward the end of town.
“It would be my honor to walk you home, Miss Hawthorn,” he said stiffly.
Patience’s spirits dropped as her stomach churned. He would not let her help. Rather than fight, she followed him, trying to keep pace with him.
“You do not love me.” She stopped as realization fell upon her. It was the only explanation for his change of behavior toward her.
He stopped beside her, searching her eyes.
“I do.” The longing in his voice confirmed his statement.
“Then why refuse me?”
“I believe it was you who refused me.”
Patience’s mouth dropped. “My parents refused you. I’ve been trying to get you back ever since.”
Walter sighed. Moving them forward again.
“You don’t understand. Your parents are right. Socially and financially, we are not a good match. My family needs money. You won’t have a dowry without your parents’ blessing.” He looked to the ground, kicking aside a stone. “I would not be able to adequately provide for you… or my mother and sister. I must find a bride whose parents will accept me.”
Patience’s walk slowed to a stop, and Walter turned to face her again.
For an endless moment, they stared at each other, Patience fighting back the urge to scream at his pigheadedness. She hated the stern way he looked at her—not at all like the smiles he had frequently given her. It was all wrong. Walter could not mean to give up on them so easily. There had to be a way.
He must have seen the hurt in her eyes, because he took a step toward her, then hesitated, clasping his hands behind his back. “Patience…”
She didn’t respond, didn’t know how, so she moved past him, putting distance between them. It was his decision. No matter how much she told him of her love, she really had no choice. For a moment, she wondered. Was it time to let him go? Her throat tightened. She pushed back the moisture stinging her eyes. She felt him rush forward catching her elbow, bringing her near. She felt a rush of adrenaline at his sudden proximity, his urgent touch.
“If you help me, you must promise to keep anything you learn hushed up. There are things I know about my brother’s death that may shock you. I want you to understand that. I want you to be safe.”
She nodded; breathless at his sudden turnaround. “I understand.”
He leaned closer. “Meet me outside my home tomorrow morning by the stables. Do you think you can slip away?”
She nodded. Happy he’d come to his senses.
“I will tell you everything I know then, and with your help, hopefully we can find the person who… we’ll find out what happened.”
Patience nodded again, her head spinning. What could be so troubling about his brother’s death? Why was he so secretive?
“I’ll be there,” she promised.
Walter released her. Then, as if a second thought accrued, he took her hand, bowed, and kissed the back of it lightly, making her insides flutter.
“Until tomorrow.” Dropping her hand, he walked past her back toward town.
She stood for a moment, alone in her thoughts. Was this really happening? She had dreamed of this for so long. She could hardly believe Walter had let her back into his confidence. She would not let this opportunity pass. Before the sun set on the day tomorrow, Walter would see reason again and agree to let her into his life for good. The thought made her ecstatically happy, and she wondered if sleep would come tonight.
Chapter 9
Walter wandered around the front of the house, unable to keep still. His sister had given up playing the pianoforte for now, for which he was grateful. But his mother still stayed locked in her rooms hating how much Daniel’s death had affected her health. He had to care for and protect her and Henrietta, no matter the cost.
Walter hadn’t been able to sleep much last night. He couldn’t believe he had agreed to let Patience in on his investigation. But when she mentioned how he didn’t have to do this alone, it struck him. He realized it would help to have a confidante, to have another mind working with him as they had done while they were young. Patience had always been one of his best and loyal friends, and had always been his first choice in sharing secrets.
He heard a noise and Patience came around the corner of the stable, just as the sun was warming the earth. Her day dress enhanced the red in her auburn hair as the morning light hit her just right. His chest constricted as she neared, a bright smile lit her face. He wanted her by his side for the rest of his life, but the impediments that stood between them were still too great.
It was only a fantasy.
After her parents’ initial refusal, and now his family’s debts, he couldn’t rationalize offering for her again. His heart twisted in pain at the thought of giving her up, but inside he knew it was the responsible thing to do.
She approached. His jaw clenched. He would tell her what he learned from the blacksmith. It was only fitting she be the first person he told, given the place she held in his heart. But revealing the murder to another person would make it more real.
Patience smiled as she reached his side.
“I slipped out before my mother came down for breakfast. I told the groom I was going to ride to the village. I won’t be missed for a few hours. Are you ready to investigate?” she asked, optimistic as a sunflower shining in the morning’s light.
He wanted to partake in her optimism, and he tried to return the smile, but feared it was more like a grimace.
“Come. I don’t want my family knowing you’re here, so you’ll need to remain silent.” He took her hand, ignoring the heat that ran through his body. He walked to the house, pulling her through the side door, leading her up the stairs to the study. All the while Patience moved silently on her tiptoes. Memories came flooding back. They’d done this too often to count, but this time the stakes were much higher.
Safely inside the study, Walter closed the door and locked it. He realized they were alone. It suddenly struck him that if they were found, Patience would be compromised. But the unconventional situation warranted it. He’d longed to be betrothed, to call her his wife, but now, no one could find them here.
Alone.
He looked at her. She was watching him, silently. He balled his fists to keep himself in check. His jaw tightened.
“We’re alone,” she smiled.
Did she not know how hard it was to keep from touching her when she was around?
Her brows raised as she looked around.
Tempting him like this was only making it harder for the both of them. Every instinct in him told him to go to her and give her what they both wanted. But he knew if he tasted her sweet kisses, he could never go back. He’d done it once before and it nearly broke him.
She walked slowly toward him. Her perfect brows lifted in challenge. He squeezed his fists tighter as pain shot through his palms. He wouldn’t be surprised if he’d drawn blood. Pain was good. It would keep him grounded. He should back away, but he felt rooted to the spot as if he were a planet stuck in her gravity, unable to break free.
She stopped mere inches from him. Her eyes scanning each feature of his face, flitting from jawbone, to lips, to nose, to eyes—she stopped there. Her challenge vanished, turning to longing. He held his breath, waiting for her to back down, and then he saw something change in her eyes.
Determination?
She brought her hands to his face and cupped it lightly. Her touch felt wonderful on the stubble of his cheeks, though he stiffened at the slight movement while wishing her closer, wishing for more. She slowly pulled his face to hers. The action caused him to relax. To melt into her touch. A scent of rose water lingered. When had she changed her perfume? Her lips were nearly upon his. She moved her arms, encircling his waist. Her eyes trusting. It nearly undid him. He moved his lips to her ear, grasping at the last vestige of control he had.
“If I kiss you, I fear I will never stop.” His pleading was but a whisper.
She let out a measured breath, nodding her acquiescence. He moved one arm around her waist while twisting his other hand through her hair. He hugged her one last time before letting her go.
She did not fight him.
He banished her touch from his mind.
They had work to do.
Patience did not look at him as she took a seat behind the desk. He sat beside her, probably too close as he scooted a chair next to her. He mulled over his next words. Patience waited, still not casting her eyes toward him, her chest rising and falling as her breathing slowed.
He straightened, clearing his throat. “The blacksmith and I discovered that Daniel’s death was not an accident. Someone sawed through the axle, weakening it, causing it to snap during his journey.” Walter did not so much as pause to take in air at his explanation. “Our leading suspicion is that someone wished to harm Daniel—” He paused, afraid to say the next words. “We fear he was intentionally killed.”
“Murdered.”
She gasped, covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes widening larger than he’d ever seen them.
“Walter,” she whispered, her eyes softening as she took in the information. “I’m so sorry.” Her hand flew to his, and she squeezed tightly. He grasped it, bending to place a kiss on her palm before straightening and clearing his throat.
“The next thing we need to consider is a motive.”
“Do you have any ideas?” Patience whispered. As if someone was listening at the door.
Walter lifted the financial records he’d left sprawled on the desk, thinking. “I would suspect that his debts have something to do with it, but I can’t be sure.”
Patience followed his gaze touching a page of the records, her brows coming together in a frown.
“Have you found anything to imply he owed money to someone dangerous?”
Walter shook his head. “There are so many debts. But I haven’t seen a large enough sum drawn out anywhere.”
Patience bit at her bottom lip, distracting his thoughts, making him wish to taste them himself.
“Either he didn’t borrow money from someone dangerous, and the recorded debts are correct,” she said slowly, “or he did, and didn’t record it. In which case—you’re in deeper debt than you realized.”
Walter waved it off. “If there’s no record, I shouldn’t have to worry about it. Unless someone approaches me, I’ll assume everything is here. They wouldn’t have killed him if he still owed them money.”
Patience nodded, opening a drawer, looking up at him under her long lashes. “May I?”
He blew out a breath. He’d found nothing in the desk that would cause Daniel’s murder.
“By all means.” He let her do her sleuthing. She was better at it than him.
She riffled through the drawer, looking through letters and other documents. “There must be some clue in here somewhere.”
Walter sidled close beside her and joined her in sifting through the drawers, pulling out anything that seemed interesting or pertinent. A handful of letters stood out, but most of the documents were bills and invoices. He didn’t even know which ones had or hadn’t been paid.
Patience picked up a letter, scanning it, her forehead creasing.
“Walter.” She leaned into him, sliding the letter towards him.
A whiff of her scent distracted him. He focused on the words. There were glimpses of conversation.
“Haymarket Theatre? In London? Why is he corresponding with them?” His eyes dropped to the signature.
Gabriella Fox.
His eyebrows lifted. His brother was corresponding with a stage actress. The atmosphere in the room suddenly changed as the realization of what this might mean hit him.
He took the letter from Patience and scanned it, his eyes widening as he continued to read. He turned to Patience. Her cheeks had reddened. She’d read the letter too. He cleared his throat, feeling he’d stumbled upon his brother’s deepest, darkest secret yet. It was littered with seductive innuendos and hopes of their future together as husband and wife. Miss Fox went on to insist he visit her soon and not to worry about his financial situation. She would keep his mind—among other things—occupied.
“It’s time you return home. I’m sorry you had to see this.” He folded the letter and slipped it into his waistcoat pocket. “I should have protected you from this… darkness. Please, let me figure this out alone.” He stood, backing away from her.
If someone caught them here alone, they’d be forced to marry.
Patience stood and moved to his side. She looked him square in the eyes.
&n
bsp; “I am not the innocent you left behind.”
His heart constricted. What could she mean? She must have seen the uncertainty in his eyes, for she stepped closer and placed a hand on his elbow. A hard lump lodged in his throat. Was she brought so hastily back to the country because she’d been sullied, touched?
He’d kill Lord Berkshire. His eyes turned hard as he looked away.
“Walter, look at me.” Her quiet pleading forced his eyes to return to hers. She gulped. “When I went to the east end of London, I saw things I wish I could banish from my mind. The filth, the desperation, the lowest of humanity, scratching and clawing to make an existence.” She stopped as if trying to banish images from her mind. “I almost didn’t make it out with my virtue intact. One could argue that I didn’t.”
That last sentence broke him. He pulled her into his arms, kissing hot tears that fell from her eyes. He trailed his kisses down her cheek in quick succession until his lips met hers. He never imagined how both wonderful and desperate her kisses could be. If he could take every pain they’d suffered in each other’s absence, he would. He should have ignored her parents and taken her off to become his wife without her parents’ blessing. It would have been hard, but nothing could be as hard as the separation they’d endured.
As the intensity of his emotion cooled, so did his kisses. He slowed, kissing her with more purpose, remembering the closeness they’d once shared. He pulled away, taking in her rumpled state.
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head, clearing the fog, forcing them back to reality. Her look still held sorrow as she stepped back into his arms.
He pulled her close, breathing her in once more. “You are not sullied. Even if—” His voice broke, and he cleared his throat. “Even if—you had been compromised, well and truly I mean, you would still be whole in my eyes.” He paused, letting his words sink into her heart. “Know this. I would have never sent you to the east end.” He squeezed tighter as a yelp escaped her lips.
He stood perfectly still, just holding her as her cries slowly calmed. She backed away, looking resolved.