by M J Spence
“But I thought you liked it here Tristan. I thought you wanted to be here.”
“There’s nothing here for me anymore Owen. I came here hoping to be with you but apparently you have moved on and aside from that you are not the Dom that you were. You’ve changed and you’re letting that boy run your life. Not what I expected to find.”
“That “boy” as you call him has been here every minute since I took him Tris. He has taken care of my needs for as long as I’ve had him and he has not once asked me to release him. He has had problems that you cannot even imagine in his life and he has overcome them to be the sub that he is.”
I was getting angry. How dare he criticize my life, my ability to be a Dom and my submissive after what he had done.
“He is the submissive that I thought you could be Tris but you were not. You left me for eighteen months, twelve of them without a word and you come here expecting me to take you back as if nothing had happened? No Tris. I moved on and I moved on without you. I will buy you the plane ticket back to California if you wish but I will not have you criticize the way I have chosen to live my life without you.”
He began apologizing. “I’m sorry Owen. This is just not what I was expecting to find. I know this is my own fault. I just thought I could make a life out there and wouldn’t need you and then when I realized that I did need you it turned out to be too late. I guess I thought... hoped you would have waited for me.
I don’t need you to buy me a plane ticket. I have money and I can buy my own and hopefully I can get my old job back. If my family doesn’t want me I can make it on my own. I’ll be fine Owen. Thank you for sharing your home with me.”
I was sorry that Tristans family did not accept him. I was sorry that he wasn’t happy with his life in California but at any time during that year he could have picked up the phone, written a letter, anything and I would have taken him back. It’s what I was waiting for. But then I wouldn’t have found Christopher so I guess everything turned as it should have.
Chris and I took him to the airport a couple days later. I wished him luck and gave him one last hug and Chris shook his hand and said “You’ll do fine Tristan. Good luck to you.”
And a part of my life ended.
Nine
Owen
A FEW WEEKS later Christopher began having nightmares. He would wake up covered in sweat and reaching blindly for me gasping for breath and with tears in his eyes. I would hold him and soothe him until he calmed down and fell back asleep.
One night instead of going back to sleep he wanted to talk.
“Owen”
What did I tell you Chris? Did you forget again?
He repeated “Owen” to let me know he was about to start a conversation that would be hard for him so I gave him a pass.
“Yes, what is it Chris.”
“I…I’m not ok you know.”
“Is this about Tristan?”
“It’s not about Tristan. It’s about how I feel inside. I’m not right Owen. I try really hard to keep it inside but sometimes it’s hard . I guess I really am kinda broken even though I don’t want anyone to know it. But you told me not to lie so I’m telling you.”
“Alright tell me Christopher.”
“Sometimes I’m really scared. I’m scared that people…that you will find out that I’m not good. That I’m dirty because of the things I’ve done. Because I chose to do them. Not the things that my mother and dad made me do. I know that wasn’t my fault but the things that I chose to do on my own. I’m afraid you’ll decide that I’m not what you want because I did those things and send me away. I’m afraid you’ll decide that I’m not good enough.”
“Is that all?”
“No. I told you that I like pain and I do but sometimes if I don’t concentrate really hard I’ll start thinking that I’m supposed to be tak-ing the pain, I’m supposed to take the beatings for Alex. When me and Alex were with Ray…. I know I didn’t tell you I was with Ray too but I was. Anyway when I would do something wrong or I didn’t get enough money Ray would beat Alex to punish me cause he knew that I didn’t care if he beat me. It didn’t mean anything to me because I had had way worse but he knew I couldn’t watch him beat Alex so I would do what he said so he wouldn’t beat Alex. So when I get beaten now it’s like I’m making up for the times when Alex took beatings for me.”
“Anything else Chris?”
“No. I just want you to know how scared I am sometimes. Sometimes when I have nightmares I wake up and I have to touch you to make sure that you’re real and that I still have you. I don’t ever want to lose you but I’m so scared that I will cause I don’t deserve you.”
I didn’t know what to say to make him believe that he was good enough but I tried.
“Chris you deserve everything that you have in life. You are good, smart, beautiful and all of those things that you think that you’re not. You took care of Alex all those years and now you’re taking care of me. You are so good Chris. Don’t ever think that you aren’t. You will never lose me. I could have taken Tristan back and gotten rid of you. I could have made you share me with Tristan but all I want..all I need is you.
You have overcome everything that has tried to break you Christopher and here you are with me and I will never let you go.”
It hurt me to hear him say he was dirty. It hurt to hear this beautiful boy say that he was broken on the inside. I held him and rocked him and told him that I would never send him away, that he was good enough, that I wanted him…so much but I knew it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to make up for the shit that my beautiful boy had been put through in his life. I didn’t know how to fix him. All I knew how to do was hold him and try to teach him that he was good enough. He was worth so much more than he believed that he was.
Tears made their way down my face and my boy kissed them away.
“Shhhh Owen don’t cry. I’m not worth your tears. I am so not worth your tears.”
And now he was crying too. Hard gut wrenching tears. We held each other until we fell asleep. I held him tight so that when he woke from another one of his nightmares he would know that I was real. He wouldn’t have to reach for me.
Ten
Owen
“OWEN WILL YOU let me do it the way I want to?”
“Yes Chris.”
“And I get to tell you what to do?” He was all seriousness.
“Yes Chris. I will do whatever you say.”
I was already naked on the bed waiting for him. Nervous. I hadn’t done this in a long time but I trusted my boy.
He shimmied out of his sweats letting them drop to the floor and stepping out of them. As I watched him I could see the shiny parts of his body where scars had healed over but he was still beautiful. The scars took away nothing. They lined the back of his legs and the majority of his back. He thought that they were ugly. I thought that they were just a part of him. The reason for them was the ugly part.
“Hold onto the head of the bed Owen and no touching yourself. I want you to cum when I’m ready for you to cum.” I nodded my head. “See that mirror over there?” There was a large mirror opposite the bed attached to the closet door. “I want you to watch me make love to you for as long as you can. I want you to watch as I make you come undone.” My boy was usually not sure of himself but this he was sure of.
He got lube from the drawer beside the bed and dropped it within reach on the mattress and climbed between my legs and began laying kisses down the side of my neck . Light sweet kisses before taking my mouth. He bit my lower lip before delving into the heat of my mouth and finding my tongue. His fingers moved down the side of my arms before finding my nipples and twisting them lightly both at the same time making me hiss. He left my mouth and I raised my head allowing him access to my throat. He licked and sucked from my collarbone up my throat to my chin before taking my mouth again. My cock was thick between our bodies as was his. He spent time licking, sucking, biting. There was no hurry. He was taking his time unlike
when I made love to him and he turned feral wanting me to hurry and get inside of him.
He reached for the lube pushed my legs further apart, slicked his fingers and got to his knees using his fingers to tease the outside of my hole before easing one finger then two inside. I moaned and he said “So tight Owen.” He moved his fingers in and out of me before add-ing a third and finding the bundle of nerves that would bring me up off the bed. “Be still Owen” He said. I was holding hard to the head of the bed trying to keep from losing it while he fingered me but then his fingers were gone and he slathered his cock with lube and said. “Watch me Owen. I want you to watch me.” I turned my face to the mirror understanding what he meant. There would be time later for me to look into his eyes.
He lined himself up with my hole and slid the head of his cock inside of me and shook his head as if the feel of it was too much for him. Another moan escaped my lips. I had forgotten the sensation of being filled. He waited giving me time to get used to the thickness of him.
“Do it” I growled at him and he worked himself inside of me and began undulating his body. He leaned his upper body on his hands, his head down, his hair hanging to the side of his face. I could see in the mirror his back hollowing and then arching. He found my sweet spot on each upward stroke. I understood why he wanted me to watch him. He was a sight to behold as he put his entire body into fucking me. He altered his position pushing my legs further apart and leaning on his left arm. He hooked my knee into the crook of his other arm lifting my body slightly and bent to kiss then lick my thigh before plunging even deeper me. He raised his head and said “Breathe my love. You need to breathe.” I didn’t even realize that I was holding my breath at the sight of his body rolling into me but oh god the feel of it. I needed him deeper, I needed more of him. If I kept watching him work my body in the mirror I was going to need to cum so I turned my head and closed my eyes letting my head fall back so I could feel the fullness, feel myself opening to him, feel him split my body in two.
“No Owen.” He said. “Look at me.” I opened my eyes and looked into his and the passion I saw in his blown out pupils made me fucking lose it. “Deeper” I said “harder.” And then I started to beg. “Yes, my love” he said. “That’s what I want. I want you begging.” He lifted my legs to his shoulders and bottomed out in my body. All I could hear was the slap of his balls against mine and the whimpering sound coming from one of us I didn’t even know whether it came from my throat or his. I felt the sweat falling from his body to mine as he worked to take me to where I needed to be. And to where he needed to be. He began fucking me faster and harder giving me what I wanted and I could feel the tightness in my balls. I needed to cum. I needed to cum and I needed to be filled with my boys seed. Please…I….Chris…
He reached between our bodies and fisted my cock. I placed my hand over his while he jerked me and I came growling and spurting hot cum over our bodies. I could feel the pulse of his dick as he began to cum whimpering his pleasure in my ear. “Owen, Owen, Owen.” We rode out our orgasms holding each other. His head buried in the crook of my neck.
“I didn’t know you were capable of that.” I panted out.
“I know what I’m good at Sir.” He said. There was not an ounce of smugness in him when he said it. He knew. He didn’t think that he was good enough at anything else but he knew he was good at sex.
“Should we get a shower or do you want to sleep all sticky.” I asked him laughing. “Ugh, shower Sir.” He answered giggling. I could listen to his giggle the rest of my life.
Eleven
Owen
SINCE CHRIS WAS now allowed to wear clothes in the house his being naked was used as a punishment for not so serious offences because he hated having to be naked all the time. So he had taken to wearing sweats in the house. Just sweats and nothing else. Sweats that hung low on his body and revealed his hip bones and the golden hair that made its way over his belly and down into the sweats like a map to his cock. They say that sometimes clothing can be sexier than not wearing anything at all and it was true. I knew it was true and so did he. He knew exactly what he was doing. He moved with the grace of a cat, not a house cat but one of those jungle cats. A lynx or a panther. The ones that move silently and gracefully through the forest and it drove me crazy. All I wanted to do was touch him, taste him, inhale his scent. At times when he knew that I wanted him he would stand in front of me and drop the sweats to the floor and step out of them and offer himself to me or he would stop whatever he was doing and drop to his knees unzip my pants and free my cock so he could take me in his mouth and suck me until I released my seed down his throat.
He had also taken to calling me “Owen” except in rare cases when I insisted on having him call me “Sir”. He knew when those times were. A lot had changed.
My boy was perfect and yet he didn’t believe that he was good enough.
His birthday was coming up and I asked him what he wanted to do to celebrate. “I don’t know Sir. I’ve never celebrated my birthday.”
“Never?”
“I shouldn’t say never Sir. For our birthdays Alex and I would buy each other a cupcake from the bakery when we had the money and celebrate that way.”
“Well then tell me what you want for your birthday. We’re going to celebrate this year.”
“I don’t know Sir. I have everything that I could want. I’ll have to think about it.” He never told me so I decided to throw him a small party with our close friends.
The day of the party he asked “What should I wear Owen. Should I dress up or down?”
“It’s your party Chris. Wear whatever you want.”
“But I want to look nice. I’ve never had a party before and everyone is coming because of me.”
“Calm down love it’s just a few friends. You know them all just be comfortable.”
“What are you wearing?”
“Jeans and a t shirt Chris.”
“To my party! You’re not even going to dress up?”
“OK Chris. You choose. What do you want me to wear?”
“I was just messing with you. You make jeans and a tee look sexy as hell.”
“And whatever you wear will be sexy as hell also”.
“You have no idea” He said having evidently made up his mind.
“I do have an early gift that you can wear if you want.”
“A gift already? Gimmee. You know I love your gifts.”
“And what do I get if I give you an early Birthday gift?”
“How about an outstanding blowjob after the party?”
“How about an outstanding blowjob now before the party ?” I said reaching for him. He slipped out of my reach laughing.
“Owen” he whined “They’ll be here in a few minutes. We don’t have time.”
“Tease.” I said to him and handed him the tiny box I had hidden behind my back. He opened it revealing diamond studs to fit into his piercings.
“Oh Owen. They’re beautiful. You spoil me so much.”
“Cause I love you brat.” I smacked him on his ass. “Go get dressed.”
“It will only take a second. I decided what to wear. Since I’m the birthday boy you said I can wear whatever I want right?”
“Yes whatever you want.” I dressed while he showered and went into the living room and waited for the big reveal. He stepped out not five minutes later in cream colored wide legged sweat pants that hung low on his hips as usual, the diamond earrings sparkling in his ears..and nothing else. He padded over to me on bare feet and said “Too much?” “Never” I said to him. “You’re the birthday boy. You can wear what you want but don’t be surprised if I drag you to the bedroom in the middle of your party” “And don’t be surprised if I go willingly”.
“And if anyone says anything I’ll say you made me dress this way.
Can you braid my hair for me?”
I sat in a chair and he sat between my knees on the floor while I braided his hair into a long rope down his back.
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br /> The intercom sounded and it was Ben and Aaron. Ben raised an eyebrow when we opened the door and they entered handing their gift to Chris. “A little underdressed are we?” Said Ben. And true to his word Chris said “My Sir made me.”
“He’s allowed. He’s the birthday boy” I said. Chris did a pirouette before offering them something to drink.
“Nice diamonds.” Aaron said.
“An early gift from my Sir.” Chris answered.
“Aren’t you the lucky one”
To complete the party Liam, Alex and Lucas came next. Lucas brought the cake setting it on the kitchen counter before grabbing Alex’s hand. Liam looked at me, rolled his eyes and shook his head. Alex said “Chris you have on too many clothes. You going to give us a dance tonight? Chris did a sexy hip roll that I wasn’t aware he was even capable of and laughed.
When it was time to blow out the candles everyone told Chris he had to make a wish and he grew serious. He closed his eyes made his wish then opened them and huffed out all 21 candles.
“What did you wish for Chris?” Alex asked. He looked at me then back at Alex and said “If I tell you it won’t come true. Owen can I open gifts now?”
Ben and Aaron bought him a game console and games to go with it. Lucas, Alex and Aaron bought him an ipad. Alex handed him a box wrapped in gold paper with a gold bow atop it. Christopher opened the box from his friend knowing that it would be something special. He lifted the box top and found a wide leather wristband with “Christopher & Alex Friends Forever” etched into it. Christopher hugged his friend tears glistening in his eyes. “Thank you Alex. You are the best friend a boy could ever have. Love you my friend.” “Love you more” Alex said.
Now it was time for my gift. I made him kneel in front of me and handed him a box wrapped in gold paper with a black bow.
“Owen?” He said looking at me with tears still in his eyes. “Is this what I think it is? What I’ve wanted?”