by Dale Mayer
“Maybe,” she said with a half smile. “But I’m tired enough that I don’t want anything else to feel odd while I’m sleeping. I usually sleep in both the top and bottom of my PJs, so …”
He handed her the glass of water and her pain meds.
She took them while he pulled back the comforter on her bed. She placed the glass on the night table, then crawled in. She whispered, “I really need a good night’s sleep.”
“You’ll get it. It’s still early, but, with any luck, you’ll knock out for a good twelve hours.”
“I hope so.”
“Do you want the lamp left on?”
She shook her head. “No, darkness is my friend.”
He clicked off the light and bent down, kissing her gently on the temple. “Now sleep,” he whispered.
She was happy to oblige.
*
He checked on her several times that evening. He and Grayse cleaned the kitchen, and, soon afterward, Grayse, after all his traveling, called it an early night too. Rowan went to his room, planning on a hot shower. As he walked back in his bedroom, a towel around his waist, he heard whimpers coming from Phoenix’s room.
When she didn’t stop, he pulled on his boxers and headed down the hallway to check on her. He opened the door slightly and peered around the edge. She was tossing in her sleep, and, as she rolled onto her injured shoulder, the pain made her cry out. He walked to her bed and sat down beside her, placing a gentle hand on her head and stroked her hair. “It’s fine,” he whispered. “You’re safe now.”
She calmed at his touch.
He stayed and gently stroked her hair, helping her ease into a deeper sleep. Finally he stood and slipped from the room, this time leaving her door open. Once he got into his bed and turned off his own lights, he heard her start up again. He walked back to her room to see her tossing and turning again. This time he closed the door, slipped into the bed beside her and just gently held her. Against her ear, he whispered, “It’s okay. You’re safe.”
“Rowan?”
“Yes, sweetie, it’s me. Just sleep.”
With a heavy sigh she snuggled in close and drifted off again.
He held her, wondering how his life had come to such a surprising place. He’d known right from the beginning that something was between them by the way their energies had entwined so easily. More than that he knew it was almost impossible to separate their energies now. He could fight it all he wanted, but there was just something about her, about the situation, about who they were together, that he knew was meant to be.
He closed his eyes and drifted in and out, but he was always so careful to not hurt her that he didn’t sleep deeply himself. He woke up several times to hear her whimpering. At one point he woke her up to give her more pain meds. She took them obediently and curled up again. He crawled back in bed with her, and, as soon as he was under the covers, she backed up until he was wrapped around her again. He smiled and whispered, “At least you know where you belong.”
“I do,” she whispered, “but do you?”
He lifted his head to see if she was awake, but her breathing was slow, steady, her face lax, as if sound asleep in a deep-breathing state. He tucked her up closer and whispered, “Absolutely.”
When he woke the next morning, he found a heat he hadn’t experienced in a hell of a long time coursing through his body. The warmth coming from Phoenix beside him made him smile. He only slept with people he really cared about. Something about always having to watch his back bothered him. When he opened his eyes, she whispered, “About time you woke up.”
“Really?” he said, turning to look at her with a smile on his lips. “Glad to see you’re looking so chipper.”
She pushed the blankets back, sat up and stared down at him. “I feel much better,” she said.
He gently stroked her cheek. “I’m glad to hear that,” he murmured, “because you didn’t have a terribly easy night.”
She smiled. “But thanks to you, I did get some sleep.” She looked around the room and said, “At first I wasn’t sure if it was my room and you coming to my bed or if I had crawled into your bed.”
“Either works.”
She leaned down and kissed him gently on the cheek. “Thanks for being a white knight and helping me get through the night.”
The last thing he wanted was to be a white knight. “You’re welcome,” he said. “I’m not sure you realize just how much our lives are already entwined. … How’s the arm?”
“Better. Not quite 100 percent but much better.”
He frowned. “You can’t do too much,” he warned. “It’ll be easy to reinjure it.”
“I wasn’t thinking about doing too much,” she said with a smile, her finger gently stroking his lips.
He kissed her finger as it went past and then kissed it again.
She smiled and said, “You’re playing with fire, you know?”
“You’re the one playing with fire,” he said, “but then that’s what you do, isn’t it?”
“Maybe,” she said, “but not this kind of fire.”
“Have you ever had a serious relationship?”
“I told you that I have,” she said. “If you’re worried that I’m a virgin, the answer is, no, I’m not.”
He nodded. “I didn’t expect you to be at your age.”
“Given my history, you mean?” she said. “But I was more detached during the whole process. I wasn’t engaged emotionally, and I think that was a downfall of the whole occasion.”
“Absolutely,” he said, sliding his fingers through her hair. She leaned into his touch. “Sex is just that,” he said, “an animal ritual. But, once you add in feeling, it becomes something very special.”
She looked up at him, her gaze glowing with emotion, and murmured, “Show me.”
This time his fingers stroked her lips. She kissed his finger before giving it a tiny nip and then taking it in her mouth and gently suckling on it. He could feel his body responding immediately. He frowned. She shook her head. “No frowns,” she said. “I’m an adult, not a child. This is something I want very much.”
His mind went to her history and then realized she needed good memories as much as he needed not to dwell on what she’d been through. His gaze caught sight of her bandage. “You’re injured,” he protested.
“In that case you’ll have to be gentle, won’t you?” she teased.
“With you? Always,” he murmured, sitting up. And he caught her chin with his hand and kissed her lightly. It was hard to hold back the gates of passion once the energy flared between them. He could sense them in an inferno of hot energy, twisting tightly around both of them. He pulled back, gasping. “Was it ever like this before?”
“No,” she groaned. “I don’t know what this is. But I want more.” She threw her good arm around him and kissed him passionately.
He could do nothing but respond, his body already taking over. It was all he could do to hold back some semblance of control so he didn’t hurt her. It was still dim in her room with the curtains closed. Maybe that was a blessing too, so he didn’t have to see her scars, but he could feel a few of them. They rose under his fingers as he stroked and caressed, gently exploring her lean muscular body with just enough spare flesh to soften the hard edges. The strongest aphrodisiac was her response—she was so natural, wanton even, as she went with the emotions inside her.
She glorified in the feelings of her body, the release in her soul, relaxing into the energy. He’d known lovemaking could be so much more than he’d experienced. He’d never been with somebody who was so completely at ease with energy work like he was.
It was an incredible feeling watching her energy warm and surge around her hand, leaving a trail where it touched. Her lips carried heat and an inner passion he’d never felt before. When he couldn’t hold back anymore, she whispered, “Please, now.”
His head tilted back toward the ceiling as he struggled to control everything inside himself that wanted to take
her hard and fast. She lay down on the bed spread-eagled, her arms wide as she sent gentle waves of energy toward him, telling him how much he was welcomed and wanted.
It was intoxicating. It was enticing, and it was incredibly erotic. He lowered his head and kissed her as he positioned himself at the heart of her. And, when he stroked deep inside, she froze and then undulated beneath him as if getting more comfortable, which had the actual effect of sending him over the edge. His control shattered as he surged into her again and again. She reached up with her good arm and held him close, and he could feel the energy holding them tighter and tighter as everything twisted inside them, until finally she crested beneath him, crying out in joy, and he followed her in the wash of his own climax.
He sagged beside her, catching his breath. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” she murmured dreamily. “And, if you did, I’d say let’s do it all over again because I’ve never felt so warm, so cared for, so loved and so fulfilled in my life.”
He kissed her gently. “That’s how it’s supposed to feel.”
“I don’t think most people feel this,” she said, motioning to the energy cocooning around them.
“I think they do, they just don’t know about the energy,” he said. “If they can’t see the energy, they can feel it, but it would feel more like an emotion and love.”
“Yes,” she whispered, “love. So damn special.” She snuggled close. “I know we have to get up and leave soon, but just to have this moment together,” she murmured, “it’s so beautiful.”
“It is,” he murmured. “And I would do that all over again, but I don’t want you to reinjure your shoulder.”
“It’s fine,” she said. “Stop worrying.”
“Well, it isn’t,” he said, leaning over to kiss the bandage. “If we do this again, you have to heal first.”
She smiled up at him. “Just being here with you, that’s already incredibly healing.”
“And that deserves another kiss,” he said and proceeded to kiss her long and hard.
She wrapped her good arm around him and said, “I think that deserves a little bit more than that.” And she rolled over on top of him.
He couldn’t believe he was already ready for her. When she slid down his shaft, he groaned and shuddered. But he let her do her thing as she slowly rode him into the early morning dawn. He thought his heart would shatter into a million pieces, but then, when he climaxed, she picked up all the pieces of his heart and held them close.
All the while making sure they were both right here, right together, both needing and receiving what they each had to offer, which was love.
Even if they hadn’t figured it out in their minds, their bodies already knew. Their hearts already knew, and their energies had already made that decision.
He’d never experienced anything quite like it before, and he knew he never would again with anyone else. If one person in his life was meant to be his partner, it was Phoenix.
And he was just so damn grateful she’d survived what she had so she could be here with him right now and forever.
Chapter 21
Phoenix sat in the front seat of the SUV which Grayse had rented at the Albuquerque airport. The trip had been quiet, uneventful. Which was a good thing as she still didn’t want to be here. However, Rowan was at her side, and that made a huge difference. Even though she knew Rowan hadn’t wanted to come to New Mexico, he had done so to support her. She appreciated it and knew she would go straight back to his Icelandic hometown as soon as this nightmare was over. Their connection was undeniable—their future uncertain.
With Grayse driving, they headed out to the cult compound she’d hoped to never see again.
The thirty-five minute trip to the property was made in silence, until finally Grayse drove onto the rough driveway, then stopped one hundred yards in.
Without saying a word, Phoenix jumped out of the parked SUV and slammed the door a little too hard behind her. Within seconds Rowan stood at her side, a hand on her shoulder, whispering, “Easy.”
“I don’t know what you mean by easy,” she said, her voice strangled. “What happened to the house?”
Grayse, at her side, replied, “It burned down. Didn’t you know?”
She turned to look at him and asked, “What do you mean, didn’t I know?”
He stared at her for a long moment. “What do you remember from that night?”
Her eyes widened as she tried to think back. “I remember the police coming. I remember the shrieks. The shouting. The panic. My mother trying to get me in the closet. My father. Gunfire.” She shook her head. “What else was there to remember?” she asked. “Seems like everything happened so fast.”
“It wasn’t all that fast,” he said. “Do you remember the police talking to you? The ambulances?”
“Sure,” she said. “That was all at the same time though.” She motioned toward the stark shell of burned timber in front of her. “Did somebody hate the compound so much that they burned it to the ground?”
“It burned down that same night,” he stated bluntly. “You don’t remember that? It was on fire when the cops arrived, and, by the time they did a full sweep, the blaze was out of control, and it couldn’t be stopped.”
“No,” she said. “I don’t remember that.”
“Let’s walk,” he said.
As they headed toward the burned house, she stared at it, trying to remember. Bits and pieces remained of the veranda she remembered standing on. As she walked around, she couldn’t help but feel that maybe it was a good thing it had burned down. At least nobody else could use it for the same purpose her father had. They walked all the way around it. Time and Mother Nature had brought even more decay upon the burned-out hull. It was full of water damage, and rainwater still collected in one of the corners of the foundation. She looked at the foundation. “It’s much shallower than I remember.” She shook her head. “Something here is wrong.” She turned to look around. “Are you sure this is the property?”
Rowan looked at her in surprise. “Are your memories that confused?”
“I don’t know,” she cried out. “It was a pretty rough time in my life though—you might want to keep that in mind.” She didn’t mean her voice to come across as harsh, but no doubt it had. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”
She stepped back and looked around, seeing parts of what she could remember, and yet other parts were so far away. Everything had become overgrown in her absence. She turned and walked toward where she thought the other building had been. As she stood, she turned back and looked from one to the other spot and then took several steps. She looked at the ground and spied three rocks piled high in a triangle.
Memories crept through her mind. Memories of other children. Memories from their games about how this spot was secret. She slowly dropped down to the three rocks, lifted the first one to see the other two in hollows in the ground underneath. She removed them and reached her hand in and pulled out a large key. She held it up for the men to see.
“Well, that answers one thing,” Rowan said. “Obviously you remember something.”
She nodded slowly. “This is the key to the other shelter, the basement.”
“Show us,” Rowan said in a harsh voice.
She straightened, instinctively put her heel right against one rock and took three large steps forward. There was more debris, part of it from the house sprawled in front of them. She motioned at it, looked at the men and said, “We have to move this.”
They removed the timber, roofing tiles, plywood and a bunch of plastic garbage bags. With that all cleared away, they could see a trapdoor.
She held up the key. “This opens it.” Her voice had gone from harsh to faint, as she realized maybe underneath were things she didn’t want to see.
Grayse took pictures with his cell, then put away his phone and grabbed the key. With Rowan’s help, they brushed back enough of the dirt so they could find the keyhole. He sl
id the key in. A lock snapped open.
It wasn’t a visible lock; it was more like an underpinning lock. Pulling up the flattened handle, they lifted the lid, opening it wide for them to see in. Stale air wafted up and out. Both men coughed several times.
She nodded. “It was always like that. Even when we went in daily.”
“Why did you go in here daily?”
Her voice dropped. “I don’t know,” she said. “I can’t remember. Apparently I don’t remember anything in sequence or correctly. It’s confusing. I would have thought my memories were better than this.”
She now doubted everything she had remembered. If it weren’t for the scars on her body, she wondered how much of her childhood she would have remembered. She looked over at Grayse. “Is my mind forgetting all this because it’s easier than remembering?”
“I would think so,” he said gently. “Don’t make light of everything you went through. I saw you that night. And you were barely alive.”
“What condition was I in?”
He gave a heavy sigh. “I guess that’s why I wish you’d remember. Then I wouldn’t have to tell you.” He motioned down at the great big hole. “How do you get in and out?”
“There’s a ladder on the inside, built into the rock.”
He bent down and grabbed at the edge of the hole and slowly lowered himself. “She’s right,” he said. “You have to know it’s here though.”
And just like that he disappeared from view. When a flashlight shining up from below, he called out, “Are you two coming down?”
She groaned. “If I have to, yes.”
“I think you should,” he said. And his voice had an odd tone to it.
She wrapped her arms tightly around her chest and looked at Rowan. “I guess I should go next, huh?”
He gently hugged her close and whispered, “We’re here with you. Remember that.”
She gave a strangled laugh, nodded, then crouched, one leg dangling over the side. Going by memory alone, she reached out for the first rung and let herself slide down into the hole the way she always had as a child. It didn’t look any different. The rungs were still there. The scratch marks on the wall going down were still there. She slowly made her way to the bottom, where the ground was still dirt—or maybe concrete. She didn’t know.