* * *
Nathaniel stewed as he waited for breakfast, while he ate breakfast, and now, as he sat in the worn yet surprisingly comfortable leather chair looking out the front window at the empty street beyond.
It wasn’t so much Daisy’s denial that caused him chagrin. No, it was the fact that her words brought about guilt deep within his soul. For while she spoke of breakfast, he had responsibilities of his own — those he had left behind on the warfront, and those that awaited him at home, while he sat here doing nothing.
There were dual thoughts running through him at the moment. So much inside of him longed to return somewhere he was needed, where he could take action to help a cause. And yet, that would also mean leaving Daisy. It perplexed him, how after only a few short days he could feel so tied to her. He knew this could be nothing more than a short flirtation, but when he thought of never seeing her again, regret filled his soul.
He sighed, rubbing at his temples, but looked up when there was a knock at the door and it slowly creaked open. He forced a smile on his face when Daisy walked in, her expression hesitant.
“Nathaniel? You have some correspondence. Iris was going to bring it to you, but I thought perhaps we could speak once more. I never meant any offense earlier this morning. I realize you are likely not used to the workings of an inn, nor what is typically involved or my own responsibilities.”
Nathaniel tapped the envelope on his knee, longing to open it, for a quick glance at the front of it revealed General Collins’ heavy scrawl. Yet he equally wanted — no, needed — to speak with Daisy.
“I would like to apologize as well,” he said. “The truth is, your words only reminded me of all that I am neglecting while I am here.”
She looked at him expectantly with eyebrows raised, and he knew what she wanted. He would determine what he was able to tell her, he decided — after he read the contents of this envelope.
“When you have a moment — whenever that may be,” he said, “Why do we not walk then, and I will answer your questions?”
He saw the gleam come into her eyes then, and she nodded curtly. “Two o’clock?”
“Two o’clock,” he said with a wink, and she blushed slightly before one of the Johnson children pushed open the door behind her, nearly knocking her over, though she only laughed, clearly used to chaos, before shutting the door behind her.
Nathaniel greeted the child before ripping open the seal at the back of the letter, releasing its contents to his eager eyes. It was dated a week prior, which somewhat aggravated him, for situations changed so quickly on the front.
Major-General Huntingwell,
I am pleased to inform you that the intelligence you provided is proving to be most useful. I will have more information in a few days once we execute the attack we are planning. After that time, I will contact you as regards your release to return to London. Do not be a stubborn fool, and use your cane.
Sincerely,
General Collins.
No further information, then, besides the fact that he should soon be released from the inn to return, though not to the war effort, but to London. Where he would assume his role of duke, heaven help him. He knew of no man who would turn down such a title, yet he was unsure whether he was prepared for it. Most gentlemen would spend years learning from their fathers before assuming such a role. But he supposed if he could command military forces, he could oversee a few estates, could he not?
He wasn’t sure what he could tell Daisy, either. He wanted to trust her, to tell her all, and yet… he was also fearful of how she would react. For if she knew he would not only be returning to London, but returning to inherit a ducal title, she might reject him altogether, and she was now the only aspect of this stay that was making it bearable. After her experience with Lord Mansel, he knew she was left with ill taste regarding the nobility, and he would prefer that she came to know him better as a man before she was aware of him as the Duke of Greenwich.
As for what would happen with the two of them… they were just beginning to explore their growing connection to one another. He felt sick at the thought of leaving her with hardly any explanation — but he wasn’t sure just what else he could do.
13
Nathaniel was pleasantly surprised when Daisy sought him out prior to the time they had arranged. She had already provided him with strict instructions to not eat a mid-day meal, and he now understood why, as she carried a picnic basket over her arm. Despite her attempts to dissuade him, he took it from her as they departed the inn. She hardly said a word to him in her rush to bustle out the door.
“Are you running from something?” he asked, trying not to laugh at her, and she shot him a look.
“My sisters,” was all she said by way of explanation, and sure enough, she was unsuccessful in her endeavor.
“Have fun!” they heard Iris call, and Nathaniel turned to see the young woman’s impish grin following them as they walked down the road. All three of them had gathered at the door, wearing expressions varying from confusion to hopefulness, though why, Nathaniel was unsure. He hoped the family was not expecting too much from the time he and Daisy spent together, for he was unaware of what potential outcomes there could be.
Daisy pointed out various shops within the village, said hello to passersby and kept a pace that Nathaniel knew was for his own benefit as they continued on their way.
“I know the perfect picnic spot,” she told him, and sure enough, they slowed when they neared a small stretch of grass just behind the sandy shoreline, slightly secluded from the road beyond so that they wouldn’t be within eyesight of all meandering this far down the road.
Nathaniel spread the blanket upon the grass and held a hand out to help her sit down upon it. She eyed him as though she thought he was likely the one who needed some assistance in easing himself down, but he was relieved when she finally accepted his hand with a smile. Nathaniel was starving, and, knowing how capable Daisy was in the kitchen, had to restrain himself from diving into the picnic basket like an animal.
“Did you prepare our meal?” he asked.
“I did,” she said, and he could have sighed when he saw all that she had packed now spread out before him on the blanket.
“Thank you,” he said before immediately biting into the chicken leg he had found within the basket. “I have never been to a picnic quite like this before. Certainly not one with so great a feast. And never one with a woman like you.”
She eyed him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing but what I said — I have never met a woman like you before, Daisy, and that’s a good thing,” he said honestly, realizing the truth of his words as he spoke. “You work hard, but you do not complain about it. You do so to allow others to find pleasure and happiness within their own lives. Because of all you do, your sisters are able to spend their time doing what they enjoy — Marigold with her potions and powders, Iris with her friends in the village, Violet with her books. Your mother can then spend her time gossiping and fretting about all around her, and your father can do what he does best — nothing. You take all the burden, sharing it with no one.”
Daisy’s eyes turned somewhat stormy as he spoke, taking Nathaniel aback.
“Is that what you truly think of my family?” she asked, her voice low, just above a whisper. “That none of them have any redeeming qualities?”
“Of course they do!” he exclaimed. “Daisy, I was only telling you what I admired about you.”
“And in doing so you question the character of the people who are the very closest to me?”
Nathaniel sighed. He had apparently been too long away from society, for it seemed he had utterly forgotten how to make polite conversation with a woman. “I didn’t mean it that way. I know they help you, Daisy, I do, and they have all been nothing but friendly and welcoming since I came to stay at the inn. It is only… I suppose it concerns me that you seem to take on the burdens for all.”
“When you say they all h
ave activities they enjoy, the truth is, Nathaniel, I enjoy being the one in charge, telling others what to do, doing what I can myself. Besides a walk in the meadow or at the seashore, there is really nothing else that I do for a pastime. I like to be busy.”
Nathaniel nodded in understanding. And then suddenly, a vision filled his mind. One of Daisy, the woman who enjoyed control, busyness, and the managing of all around her fitting perfectly into the role of Duchess, in which she would oversee the households, the servants, the social events, and the family. Which would make her… his wife.
The thought took him by such swift surprise it nearly took his breath away.
If he remained Nathaniel Huntingwell, son of the second son of a duke, then perhaps it wouldn’t have been an issue. But as the Duke of Greenwich… he had an idea of the world he would be entering, and even with his upbringing, he was somewhat fearful of what the future held for him. To bring Daisy in with him… he had no idea of how she might react. Whatever was between them might be finished before it had hardly even started.
And yet…
“I suppose I just want to see you happy,” he mumbled, and her eyes widened.
“I am happy.”
“Are you?”
“Of course.”
“Are you happy to be here with me?” he asked, shocking himself with the question, for it exposed his vulnerability — a side that he had always ensured he kept well hidden.
“I am,” she said, her cheeks turning bright pink, though she didn’t break eye contact with him. “I almost hate to admit it, but I am. Nathaniel… I need to know more about you, however, or else I risk allowing you to hurt me, and I do not wish to be hurt again.”
“Damn Mansel,” he muttered, but Daisy shook her head.
“To be honest with you, I never felt much for him at all,” she said. “I believe it was more so that he, the most powerful of all the villagers, was interested in me. There was never any thought that I would ever refuse his attention, until I came to know him better and realized just how arrogant he was, how he thought he was above us all. What actually hurt most was to be tossed carelessly aside so suddenly the moment he saw Lady Almira, as though there had never been any promise between us at all.”
She shrugged. “After that, I decided that perhaps I was not the kind of woman who would welcome another chance at marriage.”
“Did you not think you could find a love match?” he asked, suddenly needing to know the answer to this more than any question he had ever asked before.
She kept her eyes down, seemingly intent on stirring the pudding she had removed from the basket.
“Similar to what Millie is hoping for? Honestly, I’m not entirely sure. My sisters would love if I were to marry, of course, for then they think others would be more inclined to pursue them. However, it is not as though many other men have shown any interest in me — at least, not the serious type — so I’m not entirely sure why my sisters would suppose such a thing could ever happen.”
Nathaniel followed her gaze as it strayed away from him, and he reached out, placing a hand on her knee, which she looked at for a few moments before returning her gaze to his face.
“Men are intimidated,” he said, staring at her intently, needing her to understand the truth of what he spoke. “Many men are interested in a woman who will only do as they say, which I do not quite understand. If a woman is able to take control, that would provide the man with much more freedom to do as he wished.”
“So what of you?” she asked, cutting through his compliments to the heart of the matter. “Do you have a woman waiting for you at home, ready to share command with you?”
He could tell she was attempting nonchalance, but her eyes kept darting up toward him. Nathaniel not only enjoyed the way she phrased her words, but also the jealousy behind them — for it meant she cared.
“I do not,” he assured her.
“Did you ever?”
He shrugged. “There have been interested women before, but I always had more to do first — such as contributing to the war effort. I did not want to leave behind a woman who would have to wait for me, wondering if perhaps I would ever come home.”
“But home you will go.”
“Home I will go.” He nodded.
“And where is that?”
“Partially in London. Partially near Chelmsford.”
“You have a country estate, then?”
He would have more than one estate once he returned, but he didn’t think that was the best place to start in his explanation.
“My family does,” he explained, deciding to stay with what was, for the most part, the truth. “We are wealthy, it is true, and… we do have noble blood within the family, though my father is without a title.”
Nathaniel stopped for her reaction, but Daisy just remained sitting, waiting for him to finish his explanation, which he actually appreciated.
“I spent my life with my parents attending society events, hosting them sometimes. My father enjoyed the racetrack, so I spent a great deal of time there with him. Eventually, I suppose I became bored. I was educated at the finest schools, but not for any particular purpose. I had no wish to become a physician or a barrister… I always knew that one day I would have my father’s estate to look after, so I didn’t necessarily have to find an occupation, but I was going mad with my inability to do anything.”
“So you joined the military.”
“I did,” he nodded, warmth flooding through him as he remembered the day he had joined, how proud he was, how much he was looking forward to joining the war effort, to doing something for himself and his country.
“And you loved it,” she said, her voice soft, her head tilted at her revelation.
“I suppose you could say that,” he said gruffly. “Make no mistake, there were some horrific moments, battles that I wouldn’t wish anyone to have to live through, after seeing so many die during them. I have seen injuries as gruesome as they come, men in such pain that they would have rather died. But I finally found my place. Because of my family’s position and my own ambition, I rose quickly through the ranks of the army, and by the end, I was helping to plan strategy.”
Her eyes were wide as he spoke, and she began to nod. “I can see it,” she said. “And it explains why you feel so trapped here at our inn, in our seaside town. You were clearly injured… what brought you here?”
Nathaniel tapped his fingers against his knees. He had been given explicit orders to tell no one of whom he was or what had happened, and there was no one else in the world who could ever have convinced him to do such a thing.
But Daisy… she looked at him with all of her wide-eyed innocence, and he couldn’t help but tell her. He explained to her all that had happened — the plot to find Napoleon’s future plans, his own success, and how the injury had prevented him from furthering his mission.
“So they sent me here, in order that I might hide out, that all would believe me to be dead. There are spies within the English camp — spies everywhere, to be honest — and so it was the only way to ensure the French were not aware of what we had.”
Daisy exhaled slowly, as though she had been holding her breath the entire time he had been speaking.
“Is Nathaniel Hawke your real name?”
“Nathaniel is,” he confirmed.
“I’m glad of it,” she said with the slightest of smiles. “I wouldn’t have wanted to think that I was calling you by a name not your own since I had met you.”
“Not my given name, Daisy,” he murmured, “I wouldn’t want to hear the name of any other man on your lips.”
She bit her rosy bottom lip at that, torturing him, and Nathaniel began to lean in to take that succulent mouth with his. But first, she had one more question, and she raised one hand as if to hold him off.
“How long do you suppose you will remain with us?”
“I honestly do not know,” he said with a sigh and a shrug of his shoulders as he moved back again. “But if the
last letter was any indication of what is to come, they should be executing the next attack any day now, if they haven’t already. So it could be anytime from a day to a week.”
She nodded slowly, keeping her gaze down and away from him, and Nathaniel knew exactly what she was thinking — that their time together was too short, that they needed more of it in order to better come to know one another. He wanted to tell her not to fret, that they would be together no matter what was to come, but he couldn’t, as of yet, promise that. He hardly knew what would be awaiting him once he returned to London. How could he ask her to leave everything behind to follow him to a life that he wasn’t even yet sure of? He would just have to wait, he decided, and determine what the future might hold for them.
But for now, he would enjoy this moment, this time with her. He leaned in once more, softly stroked her face until it was tilted up toward him, and took her lips in a kiss that said more than his words currently could.
14
A titled, wealthy family. Time together that could end at any moment.
It was difficult for Daisy to focus on anything but all that Nathaniel had just told her as they returned to the inn in time for her to prepare that evening’s dinner. She was grateful for all he had shared with her, truly she was, but in the same breath, it was difficult to know where they could possibly go from here. Daisy preferred to live her life knowing what was to come, and now it was as though everything she knew to be true had changed.
For there were now two incredibly different possibilities. One was more of a dream than anything — the thought that she could leave here and be with Nathaniel in a world she wouldn’t even recognize. It was frightening, and she wasn’t sure if it was a future she would welcome. Not only that, she had no inkling as to whether or not Nathaniel had any thought for her in his life beyond his stay here at the inn. Was she simply a way to pass the time, to relieve the boredom that the hole of the military had left within him?
A Duke for Daisy: The Blooming Brides Book 1 Page 8