When something went wrong in Lucas’ life, he just dealt with it. He didn’t yell at innocent bystanders or point fingers at other people. If it was their fault, like with his crew, he corrected them and moved on. Like the time Ralphie had forgotten to pack the full complement of life jackets. Lucas had come back to port, picked up the jackets, dropped off Ralphie, and set him on the task of cleaning barnacles off the wooden skiff.
The next day, everything went back to normal. That made sense. Appropriate consequences, no drama.
Lucas would make an amazing father.
The thought flashed through her mind the way cheesecake did when she had a craving. Like a fantasy she knew she should ignore. Lucas never talked about having children, and she had a good sense of why. He’d been scarred by his father. He didn’t want to pass that pain to the next generation. He’d said as much when he’d spoken of his brother, who’d recently gotten married in Reno.
“They want a big family, and I’m rooting them on. I’ll be the uncle who takes the kids fishing and doesn’t rat them out when they sneak into bars.”
“Cool Uncle Lucas?”
“That’s me. My contribution to the next generation. Cool Uncle Luke.”
He would be a cool uncle, but he’d be an even better father—if only he could see it that way.
Not that it was her job to point that out. She had Ruby, and their little family was perfect. So what if she sometimes mourned the fact that Ruby was an only child and at this rate always would be. You couldn’t get everything in life. At this point, all she wanted was a place where she and Ruby could be happy and safe. And a job that allowed her to spend time with Ruby and put her scientific background to work. And a place where she could make a difference…okay, maybe she did have big dreams.
Add Lucas to all that…her heart nearly burst from the dazzling joy of that possibility.
Oh no. Oh no. Was she in love with Lucas?
Chapter Thirty-One
The next day, she and Ruby drove down to the boardwalk early enough to snag the last sugar donuts before the bakery sold out of them. They walked down the ramp to the Forget Me Not. Its soft blue trim—the color of forget-me-nots—sparkled in the morning sunshine. They ate their donuts and watched the seabirds floating past on their own hunt for breakfast.
“Can I go play with Hunter?” Ruby asked after she’d devoured her last donut.
Megan brushed sugar off her daughter’s cheek. “At the kayak office?”
“Sometimes at the kayak office, sometimes at the beach,” Ruby said in her meticulously accurate way. “Maybe a little more at the beach.”
“Let me see if that’s okay with his mom.” She texted Hunter’s mother and got a quick “yes” of response. “Okay. That’s fine. You know the rules. Grace is in charge. Don’t cross the boardwalk alone. Don’t talk to strangers or tourists. No going in the water at all. Not even just your feet.”
“I won’t go into the water.” Ruby put on her backpack and climbed over the side rails to hop onto the float. She waved goodbye and ran up the float toward the ramp. Megan frowned a little—something about Ruby’s promise felt off, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Her passengers began filing down the ramp shortly after that. Captain Kid appeared, yawning widely from an all-night bonfire party. This was one of her biggest groups so far, and she launched enthusiastically into her spiel about the incredible abundance of wildlife in Misty Bay and Lost Souls Wilderness in general.
“Please take this list of the many species we’re likely to spot on this trip.” She handed out photocopies to all. “Anyone who fills it out completely gets an extra cupcake.”
The tour went wonderfully—they saw a raft of Pigeon Guillemots riding the waves, a family of sea otters floating on its back while nibbling on a mussel, even a small pod of Dall porpoise. The tide was just right so she could take them into her Ninlik cove—definitely one of her favorite new spots—and show them the spiny starfish clinging to the exposed rocks.
Since the tide was coming in, they tied up to an overhanging tree branch and ate their lunches in the cove. Bobbing up and down on the gentle incoming waves, they alternated between searching for bald eagles and snacking on turkey sandwiches.
A text came in from Lucas. Albatross spotted out past Little Peak. Looks like he’s hanging around for a while.
“Okay, everyone, who’s up for extending this tour? Word has it there’s an albatross awaiting us. Did you know some can fly for six hours without flapping their wings? Are you up for an adventure?”
It was unanimous, so she gave the signal to Ben to untie the boat and head out toward the mouth of the bay, where Little Peak guarded the entrance to a long inlet.
The hunt for the albatross took an hour, but everyone agreed it was absolutely worth the extra time. By the time they headed back to the harbor, the group was buzzing with satisfaction, slathered in sunscreen, and fighting off sleep. Megan had to give them credit for hanging in there for the adventure.
As Ben steered them around the breakwater, she texted Grace, Hunter’s mother. Just getting back now. Can you tell Ruby to head to the slip?
Grace texted back. Crazy day here, sorry. I dropped my phone in the water. Just got it dried out. Ruby left a little while ago to meet you.
A little while ago? That wasn’t the routine at all.
How long ago?
Maybe half an hour? She should be there waiting for you. She’s so responsible.
Grace was right. Ruby would be sitting on her backpack at the float, waiting for the Forget Me Not to dock.
Except she wasn’t.
Megan’s heart thumped as she scanned up and down the float and the ramps that led to the boardwalk. Ruby knew the other floats and ramps were off-limits. She wasn’t allowed to walk up and down the aisles because anyone could be berthed there. She took that rule seriously, as she took all the rules.
As the passengers filed off the Forget Me Not, Megan called Grace, but she got no answer. Maybe her phone was still screwy from being dropped in the water.
Next she called Zoe. “Have you seen Ruby?”
“Not today.” Her harried voice could barely be heard over the background noise of hungry pizza fans. “Is she missing?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know yet. Maybe just a miscommunication.” But what could the miscommunication be? She’d come back into port later than usual, but not so much later that Ruby wouldn’t know what to do.
“Ben, can you get the boat squared away? I need to run up to the office.”
She darted away before he could even answer. Please be in the office. Please be in the office.
But only Carla and Lucas were in the office. Lucas looked up from the paperwork he was filling out and immediately dropped it and strode toward her. “What’s wrong?”
“Have you seen Ruby today?”
He shook his head, then glanced at Carla who did the same.
“She wasn’t at the ramp when I got back and she’s not with Grace and Hunter.”
Panic clawed at her throat. The walls seemed to close in around her, and she spun around and dashed outside. If Ruby wasn’t here, she had to go somewhere else, look somewhere else. She didn’t even know where—just not here.
Lucas followed her out the door and took her by the shoulders. “Talk to me, Megan. Where would she go? Have you checked the ice cream shop?”
She grabbed his wrists in gratitude. “No, I didn’t. She loves that place. Come on.” And she took off in that direction.
But Trixie hadn’t seen Ruby all day. Neither had anyone at her other favorite haunts.
“Where was the last place she was seen?” Lucas asked her. She could tell he was trying to keep her calm. It wasn’t working.
“Wild North Kayaks.”
“Come on then.”
But the kayak office had a “be right back” sign hanging on the doorknob.
The world around her seemed to tilt in all directions. The edges of her vision blurred. She
couldn’t breathe. Where was Ruby?
“I’m sure there’s an explanation.” Lucas kept a reassuring hand on her shoulder. The weight of his hand anchored her; otherwise she might go floating off in a cloud of terror.
“Ruby never does this. Never. She’s always where she’s supposed to be when she’s supposed to be there.”
“Is there a chance she found a ride home?”
“Without someone telling me? Absolutely not. Oh!” She clapped a hand over her mouth. “The hospital. Maybe she got sick or something. Where’s my phone?” She patted herself all over, but couldn’t remember where she’d left her phone.
Lucas pulled his cell out and dialed the emergency room at the small hospital that served all of the Misty Bay peninsula. When someone answered, he passed his phone to Megan.
“My eight-year-old is missing, I’m just checking to see if maybe she came in for an emergency and I wasn’t notified—”
“No kids here today at all.”
“Okay.” Numb, she handed the phone back to Lucas, who ended the call for her.
Where? Where was Ruby?
And then—disaster. From the harbor came the sound of an engine backfiring.
She jerked at the sudden pop.
She couldn’t catch her breath. Her lungs heaved, trying desperately to draw in air. It didn’t work, and dancing spots of light filled her vision.
“Take it easy, Megan. We’ll find her.” Lucas voice seemed to come from a great distance. His words held no meaning; they were nothing but air. She spun away from him, then staggered, so light-headed she nearly fell.
“Hey!” Lucas caught her in his arms and lifted her up. He carried her to a patch of grass behind the kayak office and set her on the ground, shielded from view by a rack of kayaks. “Slow breaths, sweetheart. Nice and slow. Put your head between your knees.”
His voice vanished as terrible images flashed through her brain—Ruby, lifeless on the ground. Ruby on the floor. Blood pouring from her. A man with a gas mask looming over her. Then she wasn’t in Lost Harbor anymore, she was in that quiet admissions office where a fly was buzzing against a windowpane and Chun was texting beep-beep and everything was ordinary-boring-mundane until an alien figure appeared in the doorway.
The noise—relentless rattle of gun…angry shout…crash of her chair as she hit the floor…crawl to the cabinets…go, go…where was Chun? On his back, seeping dark fluid…no, no, it can’t be…something overhead, flying past on a mission to make her dead. It wanted her dead. He wanted her dead. And she would be unless…
Zoe kneeled in front of her. She smelled like flour and tomato sauce. “It’s okay,” she was saying, over and over again. She took Megan’s hands in hers. “Are you with me? Are you conscious?”
“Ruby.” She uttered her daughter’s name through a dry mouth. What the hell had just happened? Panic attack. Just like the ones she’d experienced after the shooting, except this was much worse because it had interrupted the search for Ruby and she had no idea how much time had passed.
“Everyone’s out looking. We’ll find her. Are you okay? Here, have some water.” Zoe unscrewed the top of a stainless steel water bottle and eased it into her hand.
Megan took a sip. The coolness against her dry throat made her feel instantly more awake. “Where’s Lucas?”
“He’s looking with the others.”
“How long have you…have I…” She still couldn’t quite catch her breath.
“Only a few minutes. Lucas called me so he could go search the other floats.”
“Help me up. I’m not doing any good here.”
Zoe helped her to her feet. She took another swallow of water and gave the bottle back to Zoe. Her friend still wore the flour-covered apron she made pizzas in. “You left work.”
“Of course I left work. Don’t worry about that—even though the twins are in charge.” She smiled with a touch of wryness. “This is Ruby we’re talking about. I’d shut down the shop if I needed to.”
Megan swallowed hard as another wave of dizziness passed over her. Ruby. Where are you, my heart? She closed her eyes, as if she could somehow communicate with her daughter psychically. Where are you, where are you?
Nothing. Of course not. That was what language was for. She was being ridiculous and desperate.
She opened her eyes and found herself staring at the rack of kayaks. Several were missing. Which was normal, at the peak of summer. But what if…
“Oh my God,” she whispered. “She took a kayak.”
“What? Why?” Zoe looked from her to the kayaks. “Why would she do that?”
“No, I’m not sure, but she said, “‘I promise I won’t go into the water.’ I thought it was strange. Maybe she meant she was going into a kayak. Where’s my phone?”
Once again, no matter how much she patted her body, she couldn’t find her phone. Zoe handed over hers, and she called Lucas.
“Lucas, where are you right now?”
“Ramp Three. I’m checking all the boats.”
Beckoning for Zoe to follow, she set off at a run toward Ramp Three. “I think she might have taken a kayak.”
“Why would she do that?”
“I don’t know. But we need to look for her on the water.”
“I’ll meet you at the Jack Hammer. I’ll drive, you look. Bring your binoculars.”
“See you there.”
Still at a half-run, she handed Zoe’s phone back to her. “I’m on it, Zoe. You go back to work.”
“Are you sure?” Zoe jogged to keep up with her, both of them dodging tourists strolling down the boardwalk.
“Yes. I’m good. I know we’ll find her. She’s good with kayaks and they’re very seaworthy. I don’t think she’d go far—” A thought occurred to her. “Oh my God. I think I know where she went.” But Zoe had fallen behind, so she just waved at her and increased the speed at which she was racing toward the docks and skipping past pedestrians.
The paralysis that had gripped her before was gone. Now she was energized and ready to tear the world apart to find Ruby.
Lucas had already cast off the Jack Hammer and was idling next to the float. She leaped onboard as if she were a champion hurdler. He caught her against his chest. “You okay?”
The concern in his eyes nearly made her lose it again.
“I think she went to help the baby otter.”
“At the buoy?” He hurried to the helm and eased the boat out of the slip. Megan grabbed her binoculars and aimed them at the far point of the breakwater. There were too many boats in the way to see anything beyond closeups of masts and the occasional startling swoop of a seagull.
“Yes. She sometimes gets these intense connections with animals. Like Fidget. That’s one reason we don’t have a pet, because she goes overboard with her attachments. We had a hamster when she was five, and when he died she cried every night for two months.”
“So she feels that way about that otter?”
“She’s talked about him a lot. Actually, her. She’s convinced it’s a baby girl. Maybe she wanted to help her. It’s Ruby, you never know what she’ll come up with.”
They glided through the still water of the harbor.
Something vibrated in the lowest pocket of her cargo pants. So that’s where her phone was! She dug it out and saw it was a call from Dev.
Crap. She had to tell him what was going on, but he was going to flip out. Of all moments for him to call.
She’d barely said “Hello” when he interrupted. “Did you find her? Tell me you found her.”
For a moment she was too confused to respond. “Not yet, but I think I know where she went. Remember that otter she’s—”
“I’m coming. I’m on my way to the airport.”
“Really? No, that’s not—just give us a few minutes here, Dev. We’ll find her. She’s been obsessed with that otter, I think she went—wait, how do you even know she’s missing?”
“Lucas called me.”
She swung her gaz
e over to Lucas, who was intently scanning every boat they passed as he steered through the harbor.
“But—how did he—”
“I gave him my number. I asked him to call me if you had a panic attack or if Ruby’s safety was at risk—or all of the above, in this case.”
The steady rumble of the engine hummed in her ears. Lucas knew about her panic attacks? He’d been acting as—what, some kind of guard dog on Dev’s behalf?
“That’s unacceptable,” she managed.
“Honey, it’s not your fault that you were in a shooting. But the reality is that it happened and it affected you and you were never especially tough to begin with. I’m only concerned about Ruby, you—”
“Dev—” She cut him off. “I can’t get into this now. I have to find Ruby.”
“Don’t hang up—”
She hung up on him.
The stench of baitfish filled her nose as they passed a trawler. In stark contrast to her state of mind a few minutes ago, everything around her was crystal clear. The purr of the engine, the caws of the gulls, the seaweed floating past, the breath of air against her cheeks.
Most of all, the harsh, inevitable truth. She and Lucas were over. She could never trust him again.
Chapter Thirty-Two
As soon as Megan was off the phone, Lucas called to her, “What was Ruby wearing when you saw her last? What color?”
“Red jacket,” she said shortly. He tried to catch her eye, make sure she was herself again, but she ignored him and lifted the binoculars to her face.
“What else, in case she ditched her jacket?”
“Just look for a kayak.” Her stiff tone, her glacial cold shoulder…something was up. She was probably just worried about Ruby. He shrugged it off and returned his focus to scrutinizing every boat they passed.
“There’s the buoy,” she said when they reached the tip of the breakwater. “I don’t see the baby otter. How close can you get?”
He steered toward the warning markers the Coast Guard had installed to keep boats from bothering the otter. The big green can buoy stood guard at the end of the breakwater, about fifty yards out.
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