“That’s your mommy,” I said. “She’s something else, isn’t she?”
Faye laughed, reaching out for Heather.
“I know what you mean,” I said. “Hard to imagine life without her, right?”
Faye cooed some more, as if agreeing.
Heather and I made eye contact from across the room, a warm smile spreading across her face as she took in the sight of me with Faye. It was strange to be sitting with a kid, but it was also pretty nice.
It made me wonder if I was ready to bring Heather fully into my life—not only her side as a lover, but her side as a mother, too.
It was so much to process. Soon, I hopped out of the chair, Faye in tow. I brought her over to Heather, and the three of us melted into the party, all of us enjoying the company of one another.
It was something special, and I vowed to savor every moment of it.
Chapter 24
Heather
We stayed a while longer at the party, chatting and having fun until it looked like Faye was totally out of gas.
“I think she’s having an attention overload,” said Justin as Faye’s eyelids began to droop.
“I think you’re right,” I said as I rocked her softly back and forth.
“Why don’t you go say your goodbyes, and I’ll call our ride for a pickup.”
“Sounds perfect,” I said with a smile.
Faye about asleep in my arms, I returned to the party and bid everyone a good night. More than a few of my friends let me know how impressed they were with Justin.
“I think he might be daddy material,” said Julia.
I shook my head. “Yes, I mean, no, I mean…” I sighed. “I don’t know. He loves Faye, that’s for sure. And he’s handsome and kind and everything else. But I don’t know if that’s what he wants. I feel like he’s keeping me at a distance, like he’s trying to keep the ‘mommy’ part of me away from everything else.”
“Maybe,” said Julia. “But I saw the way he was with Faye. He might’ve been player in the past, but he wouldn’t be the first guy to warm up to kids after spending some time with them.”
“I guess we’ll see,” I said.
I gave Julia a hug goodnight, wishing her one last happy birthday. As soon as I did, Justin approached us and let me know our ride was here.
“Pleasure to meet you, Julia,” he said. “And happy birthday.”
“The pleasure was all mine,” she said with a smile, which was followed up with a wink as soon as Justin turned his back.
I teasingly wagged my finger at her as Justin and I turned to leave. A luxury town car awaited us in front of the house, and I was more than ready to get inside and relax.
In the back of the car, the driver taking us through the city back to the West Village, I curled up next to Justin. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close and tight. And on our laps was Faye, sleeping soundly.
We arrived at the penthouse, where I quickly put Faye to bed. Justin had recently suggested that I set up a small nursery in one of his spare bedrooms, but I was careful not to take this as a sign of him being totally cool with the fact that I was a mom.
Once Faye was down, Justin and I stripped down and slid under the covers.
“You were great tonight,” I said. “Made a really good impression.”
“Glad to hear,” he said. “And it was really nice seeing you there with your friends.”
“Thanks.”
We said nothing, instead looking deeply into one another’s eyes. Part of me wanted Justin to make love to me, but I was so sleepy. He must’ve felt the same way, because he slipped his arm around me tight and brought me close, just like in the car.
A big smile on my face, I soon fell asleep.
I woke up feeling restless as hell, but a glance at the clock on the nightstand revealed that it was only four in the morning. Anxiety took hold of me, however, and after a little tossing and turning, I accepted that I wasn’t going to be able to get much sleep.
After getting out of bed and throwing on a robe, I tried to puzzle out exactly what was wrong with me. Faye was sleeping soundly; Justin was in bed, and the party had gone better than I’d hoped. On top of everything, Justin seemed totally gaga about Faye. He went out of his way to spend some time with her, and he was beyond gushing with how he talked about her to my friends.
Everything seemed to be lining up for me to believe that he was ready for this, ready to accept me and Faye and…maybe even consider us part of his family, so what was eating at me?
I stepped into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. As I waited for it to brew, another thought occurred to me: that one day, Justin might have a flash of realization that he was on the verge of leaving behind the partying, carefree lifestyle that he’d become known for. He’d realize that he was about to lose his freedom to a woman and a child that wasn’t even his.
I tried to put all of this out of my head as best I could. I’d woken up in the middle of the night enough times to know there was something about a restless sleep that made anxiety worse. I took some deep breaths, trying to let it work through my system.
Once the coffee was ready, however, I remembered that there was something else that I’d been worrying about, something I’d been trying to forget about.
I was late. Very, very late.
Mug in hand, I stepped out onto the balcony. The air was chilly but still pleasant. The trees lining the streets below looked like blooms of deep reds and oranges. Fall was here.
I sipped my coffee, thinking about my little situation. It’d been weeks since my last period—and it was getting to the point when I couldn’t pretend that it wasn’t something I needed to be thinking about.
I scolded myself for being so careless with Justin. He and I weren’t the best about using protection. Sometimes we got caught up in the heat of the moment and forgot about important “little details” like that.
The sun began to rise over the city, the twinkling stars giving way to the bright of morning. After finishing my coffee, I set the mug down and vowed to not put it off any longer. I needed to find out if I was pregnant.
My steps now purposeful, I strode into the penthouse and back into the bedroom. Once there, I quietly put on some suitable clothes and shoes. After checking in on Faye, who was still sleeping peacefully, I threw on my coat and took the elevator downstairs.
The sun was a bit brighter as I made my way down the block to the pharmacy, the city coming to life for another day all around me. Ten minutes later, I’d made my purchase and was back at the penthouse, the pregnancy test tucked into the inner pocket of my coat.
I stepped into the bathroom and set the box down on the counter.
“Okay,” I said out loud. “Here goes nothing.”
I opened the box up and confirmed the directions—as though they were that hard to begin with—and set to it. Once I’d done the deed, I put the tester on the counter and set my phone alarm for three minutes.
Justin was still asleep, so I didn’t need to worry about him finding out what I was doing. To kill time, I poured myself another cup of coffee and paced the vast expanse of the penthouse, checking my phone over and over again, as if doing so would make the time go faster.
Finally, the phone dinged, letting me know the three minutes was up. I hurried back to the bathroom so quickly that I nearly spilled the rest of my coffee on the floor.
Once there, I snatched the test off the counter and looked it over with frantic eyes.
Positive.
Pregnant.
My hands shook as I set the test down.
I was pregnant. I was going to be a mother again, and Justin was the father.
I took a seat on the edge of the bathtub, wondering what the hell I was going to do now. Up until this point, I’d assumed that our relationship was going to go at its own pace, that while we had issues to worry about down the road, we’d be able to handle them when we were ready.
Not this, however. I was pregnant, and it was goin
g to happen whether we were ready for it or not. And I sure as hell didn’t feel ready.
Faye let out a wail from the other room, her cry snapping me back to reality. I hurried to the nursery, scooping her up and holding her close.
“What’s the matter, baby?” I asked. “Hungry?”
I gave Faye her breakfast, thinking non-stop about how she was about to have a brother or a sister before too long. I couldn’t believe the test was positive—it was all so surreal.
Right as I finished up feeding Faye, I heard the sounds of Justin moving around in the main room of the penthouse. My eyes went wide as I realized that I’d left the pregnancy test in the bathroom. I gently set Faye back into her crib and took off toward the bathroom.
“Whoa!” said Justin as I rushed past him. “You okay?”
“Um, think something from the party’s not agreeing with me!” I called out mid-run. I winced internally at what I’d said, but an excuse was an excuse.
Once in the bathroom, I quickly picked up any trace of the pregnancy test—box and instructions and all—and shoved them into the bottom of the waste bin. I gave the toilet a flush and went back to the living room.
“You all right?” he asked. “You looked like you were trying to outrun the devil.”
“Fine!” I said, plastering a big, nothing’s-wrong smile on my face. “You, um, want to do brunch?”
I figured it’d be a good way to take my mind of what was going on, and to not give Justin too much time to think about my strange behavior.
“Sure,” he said. “But weren’t you having stomach issues two seconds ago?”
“I’m fine now,” I said. “Just needed some heartburn stuff.”
He regarded me skeptically for a moment before his expression eased.
“Sure,” he said. “You want to bring Faye or leave her at the kid care area?”
“Let’s bring her,” I said. “It’d be a fun morning out.”
“Sounds good to me,” he said. “Give me a few minutes to get ready.”
Justin headed off, and I went to Faye’s nursery to get her ready.
Seeing Faye in front of me made it all the more real what was going on. She wasn’t even a year old, and I was already pregnant again. The kid was going to have a brother or sister so close to her own age that it might as well be a twin.
I scooped her out of the crib and held her close. Whatever was going to happen next, I realized, wouldn’t be easy.
Chapter 25
Heather
Almost two weeks had gone by since I’d learned that I was pregnant, and I still hadn’t told Justin. I knew I had to, and I was growing more anxious about it with every day that passed. It was wrong, and I knew it.
But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I was already worried about what he thought of me being a mother, and dropping this kind of info on him was beyond the pale.
Not to mention the possibility that he could always decide that he didn’t want to be a father, like Brad had. Justin didn’t seem like the type to do me wrong like that, but then again, neither had Brad.
I imagined Justin listening to me as I told him the news, his face blank and impassive. Then, with a cold, bloodless tone, he’d tell me that this wasn’t something that he signed on for, that our relationship was over, that his lawyers would be in touch.
What if he pulled some kind of legal magic that allowed him to get out of having to take responsibility for the baby? He was a billionaire—that was more than enough money to do legal tricks that would leave me high and dry. Hell, all it’d really take was for him to run through the little bit of savings I had from the show.
I wondered if he would really do that, if he had it in him to be that kind of man. Justin was a good businessman, but I had no idea if he could be cold and uncompromising.
Sooner or later, I was going to find out. Sooner or later, I was going to have to tell him.
But when?
“Hey,” said Justin, snapping me out of my trance as I stood on the balcony, my hands wrapped around a cup of coffee as I stared off into the distance.
I mumbled something in response, barely cognizant of him speaking.
“Hey, Heather,” he said, approaching my side. “Earth to Heather.”
“Hmm, huh?” I said, coming back to the real world as he waved his hand in front of my face.
He regarded me with a confused expression.
“You okay?” he asked. “You looked like you were a million miles away.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Fine. Just...thinking about things.”
I wished I hadn’t said it as soon as the words left my mouth. Justin had to know there was something important on my mind that I wasn’t telling him. I was getting sloppy—I was sure I’d slip up eventually and make it clear I was hiding something.
“Well,” he said. “I was doing some thinking, too.”
My eyes went wide, and I snapped my head in his direction.
“You were?” I asked, a frantic tone my voice. “About what?”
“Easy there, tiger,” he said. “Was just wondering if you wanted to go get some dinner tonight. The chef down at Blanc’s told me that he’s trying a new menu and could squeeze us in at a private table if I wanted. Thought it sounded fun.” A beat of silence passed. “What did you think I was going to say?”
“Nothing,” I said. “Just feeling kind of on edge today. Like, anxious for no reason.”
“I know the feeling,” he said. “And trust me—when you’ve got out-of-nowhere anxiety like that, the worst thing you can do is sit around dwelling on it. Come on, we can get a sitter for Faye then go get some good food. That and a little wine will get you feeling right as rain.”
Wine did sound absolutely heavenly. But I was pregnant—no more booze until baby number two was born.
“Sure,” I said. “Let me go put something nicer on.”
“There you go,” he said. “Ready when you are.”
He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek before heading back inside.
Alone on the balcony once again, I took a long, deep breath, telling myself that I needed to calm the hell down.
Justin was right—a night out would be better than sitting around and stewing in my own anxiety. Sure, it wouldn’t solve the long-term problem of telling him the news, but it would help for tonight. All I had to worry about was coming up with an excuse for not being able to drink.
I went to the bedroom and threw on some nicer jeans and a fitted, pink blouse. Blanc’s wasn’t super-fancy, so I didn’t need to dress up. Once I was ready. I regarded my reflection in the mirror, standing to the side and imagining how I’d look in just a few months’ time.
“Okay,” I said, coming back to the living room. “Ready when you are.”
Right at that moment, the elevator doors opened, the smartly dressed, young woman who would be looking after Faye appearing. She greeted us with a professional “hello” before going to check in on Faye. I still couldn’t get over how unbelievably convenient having on-call sitters was. I didn’t like to use them too much, but they were perfect for nights like tonight.
We said our goodbyes to Faye and the sitter before stepping into the elevator. Soon we were outside, Justin taking my arm and leading me down the streets of the West Village. As we walked, I considered how never in my life did I ever think I’d be with a man like Justin, living in a neighborhood like this. Sure, I didn’t officially live at his place, but Faye and I had been staying there so often that it might as well have been the case.
And then I realized how, with one sentence, one revelation, it could all vanish. I’d be the same lonely, struggling single mom I was before.
We soon arrived at Blanc’s. The restaurant was a stylish, trendy place with wood tables and young, attractive servers. The owner greeted us and led us to our table, which was all the way in the back in a cozy, private little nook.
Once we were seated, Justin snatched up the wine list.
“I hope you’re in the mood
for some duck wine,” he said, his eyes on the list. “Because I talked to the sommelier here a week or so ago and convinced him to put in on the menu.”
“I don’t know if I’m feeling alcohol tonight,” I said. “I’m feeling kind of funny.”
It was a lame excuse, but it was the best I could come up with. I never was a good liar.
An expression of concern crossed his face.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “I wouldn’t have asked you to come out if I knew you were under the weather.”
“It’s not that bad,” I said. “But I think I want to play it safe tonight.”
He reached under the table and gave my leg a squeeze. Damn, how I loved his touch.
“Okay,” he said. “Just don’t feel like you need to fib on my behalf.”
I gulped. He had no idea how true his statement was.
The waiter arrived and let us know about the specials. Justin ordered the porterhouse, and I ordered the duck.
“If I’m not going to drink it, at least I can eat it,” I said with a smile.
“Atta girl,” he said.
We worked our way through the appetizers, then the main courses. I was hungrier than I thought and ended up absolutely devouring my food. The plate was soon clean, and I made sure to sop up the last bits of juices with a slice of perfectly toasted bread.
After the main courses, we had a dessert of pear tarts, which were positively divine. Justin was right—a night out was what I needed to calm down.
But as soon as the plates were taken away, the coffee was served, and the bill was brought, the same tensions returned.
There was no getting away from the truth. I was pregnant and no amount of fancy meals out would change that. And each day that passed would bring me closer to a point when my pregnancy would become obvious.
I wrung my hands under the table, knowing that I needed to say something.
“You okay?” asked Justin. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
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