“Been working hard, is all,” I said.
“No kidding,” she said, stepping away from the window and taking a seat in the high-backed, Second-Empire chair across from me. “You’ve even got a damned TV show. But don’t ask me how I liked it—TV rots your brain and reality TV turns it into mush. But that’s just one woman’s opinion.”
She took a sip from her drink, her ice-blue eyes locked onto me. Then she set it down, sat back in her chair, and folded her hands on her lap.
“But the question remains,” she said. “What is it that finally prompted little Justin to come home?”
I couldn’t think of any other way to say it. So I blurted it out.
“Was I unwanted?”
“What?”
My mother regarded me with an expression of total shock.
“What do you mean ‘unwanted’?” she asked.
I took a deep breath and went into it.
“I mean, did you and Dad plan on having me? And when you did, was I a burden?”
I shook my head and continued. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, thinking back to my childhood. And all I can remember is how you and Dad always kept me at arm’s length, how you both basically had me raised by nannies, how as soon as I turned thirteen you shipped me off to some boarding school like you couldn’t wait to get rid of me. I want to know if I was some mistake that you and Dad felt like you had to ‘deal with.’ Tell me, honestly—I’m a grown man, and I can take it.”
I took another slow breath, preparing for her to lay out the truth that yes, all of my suspicions were true.
Instead, the typically stern and icy expression Mom wore on her face melted into one of…hurt.
“Justin,” she said. “How—how could you even think that?”
Silence hung in the air.
“Of course not!” she said, her raised voice echoing through the living room. “You weren’t a burden—that’s total foolishness.”
Then she clasped her hands together.
“But you were unplanned—that much is true. Your father and I never intended to have kids. Back before we got married, we realized that us being such workaholics made us a good match but meant that we’d never have time for a family. So, we agreed that we’d be a power couple. He’d have his work, and I’d have mine. We’d build our legacy together and leave it to charity when we both passed—simple as that.”
“But then I showed up.”
“That’s right,” she said. “Back then birth control was a little less…certain than it is now, not to put too fine a point on it. You were a surprise, and at first, your father and I thought we might need to give you up—not because we didn’t love you, but because we thought it would be fairer to you to have a family that actually could give you the attention you deserved.”
“I see you changed your mind.”
“We did,” she said. “And it was the best decision of our lives. Seeing you the day you were born, holding you in my arms…it was like nothing else. At that moment, I realized how magical motherhood was.”
She cleared her throat and sat up straight. “But your father and I knew that one child was all we could manage. And we still needed to work. So, we decided that nannies could fill in the gaps. And then when you grew up, we wanted you to have the best damn education there was, so we sent you to boarding school, then private college after that.”
My mother looked me over, taking in the sight of me.
“And it wasn’t all bad, right?” she asked. “Look at you—you’re a success. You’re a damned billionaire!”
She shook her head. “But I guess it wasn’t enough. We never thought about what effect raising you the way we did would have. Even now, I can tell that there’s a hole in you that you have no idea how to fill.”
“There’s more,” I said. “I didn’t just out of the blue come here.”
“More?” she asked, sculpted eyebrows rising. “What is it?”
“There’s a girl…”
A small smile played on Mom’s lips.
“A girl,” she said. “Of course, there is.”
“And she’s pregnant.”
Mom’s jaw dropped.
“You mean…I’m going to be a grandmother?”
I nodded, unable to resist smiling at the happiness forming on her face.
“That’s right.”
Mom clapped her hands together, let out a shriek, and ran over. She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly.
“My baby’s going to be a father!” she cried. “We have to celebrate. Go out onto the balcony and wait for me.”
With that, she left the room in a rush. I did as she asked, stepping through the French doors and walking to the edge of the balcony, taking in the incredible view of the estate. It wasn’t long before Mom came out, two glasses of champagne in her hands and a big smile on her face.
But I wasn’t feeling all that celebratory.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, handing me a glass.
“I—I’m scared,” I said. “I’m worried I’m going to screw this poor kid up and make him or her do the same thing to me that I did to you and Dad.”
“Baby,” she said. “You won’t. Parents learn as they go, and already you know how important it is that you make up for the mistakes me and your father made. Give that child love every day, make sure they know how important they are.”
She raised her glass. “I know you have it in you to be a wonderful father. And I want to be there to see it. Is…that okay?”
I nodded. I knew it would take time and work, but right then I was ready to start repairing the relationship with my mother that I’d let rot. It wouldn’t be easy, but I was ready.
“Yes,” I said. “I’d like that. And I think Heather would too.”
Mom’s eyes went wide.
“Is that the girl? Justin, I want to know all about her. But first—”
She wiggled the glass in her hand. I smiled and tapped my rim to hers before taking a sip.
“Now Heather,” she said. “She’s pretty right? What am I saying—of course she’s pretty. And I bet she’s a real sweetheart like you. Something tells me that you’ve got some gorgeous girl who loves you to death and is going to be the best mom in the world.”
And on we went.
My mom was back in my life. One thing was set straight, one wound was beginning to heal.
Now onto the other.
Chapter 29
Justin
Mom and I spent several hours together, catching up and taking the first steps in making up for the years we’d both let slip by.
Good feelings flowed through me as the day went on. It was as though I was finally setting something right that had been out of sorts, something that cried out for repair and attention.
But when the evening came on, all I could think about was how there was something else pressing to attend to.
Heather.
And my mother could tell. I let her know about what I’d done, how I’d run like a scared kid not once, but twice.
“There’s nothing to do but try to make things right,” she said over coffee out on the balcony. “Maybe she’ll take you back, maybe she won’t—that’s her call to make. But you can’t do nothing.”
She was right, and I knew it.
“What do I do?” I asked. “How can I begin to apologize?”
Mom shook her head. “Don’t overthink it, sweetie. Can you see her tonight?”
“I think so,” I said. “I mean, I know where she lives. Whether or not she wants to see me is another story.”
“Then you have to try. Get back to the city, go to her place, and let her know you’re there for her and ready to talk.” She reached over and took my coffee mug away. “Not even another sip. Go now, kiddo. Don’t waste another second!”
Energy flowed through me. My fear was replaced by determination. I stood up and readied myself as though I was about to sprint a mile.
Mom got up too, giving me another hug.
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“Go, baby,” she said. “Your life is waiting for you.”
“Bye, Mom,” I said. “I love you.”
“And I love you, too,” she said with a smile. “Now get!”
I was ready. I headed back into the house, car keys in hand.
“And you too better come visit as soon as you can!” she called out after me.
“You know we will!” I said over my shoulder as I rushed through the house.
Moments later I was behind the wheel of my car and racing down the road back into the city. My heart beat hard in my chest. I was excited and terrified all at the same time.
After all, my mother was right. Heather could choose not to forgive me. She could have realized that she can’t count on men and that she’d only have herself to rely on.
It was a possibility. But I had to risk it. What other choice did I have?
Soon downtown appeared ahead, and I was so excited that I could barely think straight. The traffic in the city was intolerable as usual, but I soon arrived in Greenpoint, then at Heather’s building.
I parked and stood in front of the apartment, realizing that she could simply not be here, or just ignore me.
Still, I took out my phone and made the call.
It rang and rang and rang, and I soon started to worry that my trip was all for nothing.
Then a voice spoke on the other end—the sweetest voice I could imagine.
“Yes?”
“It’s me.”
“I know,” she said. “I can see your name on the screen.”
Ouch. This wasn’t going to be easy.
“Can we talk?”
“About what?”
“About how badly I screwed up.”
There was silence on the other line—terrible, long silence.
But then the apartment buzzer sounded and the front door unlocked.
She was going to give me a chance.
I shoved my phone back into my pocket and ran up the stairs. Once I reached her door, I gave it a quick knock. Seconds later, she opened it up and wordlessly walked back in.
“Hi,” I said. Not the best opener, but I had to start somewhere.
Heather, her expression skeptical, took a seat and gestured to the chair across from her. I slid into it and took a breath.
“Where’s Faye?” I asked.
“Sleeping.”
Silence and tension hung in the air.
“So,” Heather said. “You were saying how you screwed up.”
“I did,” I said. “I screwed up big time.”
She crossed her arms and said nothing more, evidently deciding to let me do all the talking.
“When we first met, I knew you were something special. Right from the start, it was obvious. You were beautiful and charming and a pleasure to be around, and as we got to know each other, I knew you were someone who I needed to make a part of my life.”
“But then you left as soon as you realized there was more to me.”
“I left. I ran like a scared kid. It was like…up until then my life was completely on my terms. And finding out that you had a kid, well, it made me realize that there was a world outside of myself, that a woman I was falling for could have dimensions to her that I didn’t know about. It shook me, and I ran.
“But I knew I’d done something wrong,” I went on. “And even more, you didn’t leave my mind. Each day after we met, I thought about you—thought about what I’d do if you were in my life again. But I figured I’d made my choice, and being tortured by the thought of you was a fitting punishment.”
My palms were sweaty, my pulse rapid. Putting my heart on the line was terrifying. I paused to let Heather speak. When she remained silent, I continued.
“Then the show happened. Looking back, it was clear as day that I wanted an excuse to bring you back into my life. Maybe if I’d been more mature, I could’ve actually been honest with you. But I wasn’t. Having you back in my life made me realize what I’d been missing. And getting to know you and Faye as we made the show…I don’t know. You made me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of.”
“Yep,” she said. “This all sounds good. But then we get to the part where you got a second chance to do the right thing, and you didn’t. I shared the most important—tied for most important, actually—piece of news in my life, and you reacted the way you did. I was expecting you to be scared, surprised. Sure. But I wasn’t expecting you to run again.”
Then her tone turned even more severe.
“Because believe me—I’m used to men running.”
I knew I had to be very careful with my next words.
“You’re right,” I said. “I was a coward again. And I know I have no right to expect you to forgive me, let alone to be a part of you and Faye and the baby’s life. But what I did has been eating me up inside. And the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized that everything in my life, the money, the business, everything, is nothing without someone to share it with.”
I took a deep breath and let it out.
“I love you, Heather. I love you, and I love Faye, and I know I’m going to love our baby more than anything in the world. You can throw me out on the street now, and you’d be completely justified. But if you give me one more chance, one opportunity to show you the kind of father I can be, I’ll take it and spend the rest of my life making up for even letting you think for a second that I could be any other way. And that’s all I have for you—my love, and my promise.”
Heather said nothing. At first, I was worried that I’d failed, that I’d said my piece and put my heart out on the line only for her to reject me. It was within her rights, of course, and this realization only made the wait more agonizing.
But then Heather’s expression became less severe. Her features softened, and her eyes took on the sheen of tears. More silence hung in the air, and then she finally spoke.
“Do you…do you mean all that?”
“I do,” I said. “There’s more truth to those words than anything I’ve ever said in my life. And all I want is the chance to prove to you how much I mean each and every last one of them.”
At last, her tears broke. But they weren’t sad tears—they were tears of relief, tears of happiness.
I stood up and stretched out my arms.
“I don’t know what the future holds for us,” I said. “But I know I want you and Faye and the baby to be at my side for it.”
Heather stood up and slowly stepped toward me.
“And…that’s what I want, too.”
She stepped into my arms, and I brought her into an embrace. She pressed her face against my chest, letting the tears flow. And I held her close and tight through it all.
After a time, I spoke.
“You know,” I said. “I was thinking about how much I liked having you and Faye at my place for these last few months. What would you say to making it a permanent arrangement?”
She took her face from my chest and quickly wiped her eyes.
“I think I’d like that,” she said.
A giggle sounded from the other room.
“She’s up!” I said.
Heather smiled. “And I think that means Faye’s a fan of the idea, too.”
She held up a finger and rushed from the room. Moments later she returned with Faye, the baby’s eyes lighting up as she saw me.
“Hey, precious!” I said, leaning in and covering her with tickles. “I’ve missed you.”
“Want to hold her?” Heather asked.
“You bet.”
She handed Faye over, and I took her close. A wave of pure happiness ran through me.
“I think this means we’re a family now,” I said.
“I think you’re right,” Heather said. “Life doesn’t feel complete without you, Justin. You make our life better.” She sighed. “I love you so much.”
We kissed, Faye’s happy laughter marking her approval.
Chapter 30
Justin
Six Months Later
The alarm on my nightstand went off and I, as usual, shot my hand over to silence it before Heather woke up. Once the phone was turned off, I glanced over to see if she was still sleeping. Sure enough, she was.
I watched her for a moment, taking in her still, peaceful face and the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She looked like an angel, and even after all the months that had passed since we made our relationship official, I still couldn’t believe she was mine.
And I was hers.
As much as I wanted to stay in bed with her, it was a work day so I had to get going.
First stop was Faye’s room. I stood at the entrance of her nursery, which with its pale pink walls and charming décor, looked fit for a baby like Faye. She sensed that I was near, and I hurried over to the crib.
She was already moving around, crawling around on the mat for a bit before hoisting herself up to her feet and using the side of the crib for support. Her blue eyes sparkled. A big, adorable smile was on her face.
“Da-da!” she said, reaching out to me.
“Morning, princess!” I said, stepping over to the crib and picking her up.
Faye was still in that middle period in speaking between baby babbling and actual words. “Da-da” was one she’d picked up a few months ago, and I never tired of hearing it.
I changed her and fed her and got her ready for the day. Seeing Faye first was one of the best parts of my morning, and I savored every moment of taking care of her.
Once she was good to go, I brought her into the kitchen and set her in her high chair at the kitchen bar.
“What do you say we make some breakfast for mommy?” I asked.
Faye babbled happily.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” I said. “How about some French toast? Maybe a little heavy first thing in the morning, but pretty darn tasty.”
More happy babbling.
Baby Surprises 7 Book Box Set Page 49