“Do I meet with your approval?” she asked innocently.
“Christ yes,” he said on a groan, rising to his feet and surging toward her.
She stopped him with a staying hand on his chest. “No you don’t. It’s my turn now.” Her fingers went to the knot in his dressing gown, giving it a hearty tug until it came undone. She slid her palms up over his bare chest, loving the heat and strength of him, until she reached his shoulders. He was magnificent, her warrior come to conquer her. From the looks of him, he was barely reining himself in. Licking her lips, she trailed her right hand down over his sculpted chest and taut abdomen to where his cock proudly jutted. She took him in her hand.
His breath escaped from his lungs. “Bella, damn you, if you keep this up, I won’t last longer than five minutes.”
Bella was well pleased by the effect she had upon him. “I don’t understand,” she murmured, feigning artlessness. “What do you mean, Jesse?” She squeezed and began a rhythm upon his thick shaft that mimicked their lovemaking.
He gritted his teeth. “If you want me to come inside your hand rather than inside you, you’re doing a brilliant job of it.”
“Not in my hand.” She hadn’t realized she possessed such a depraved side, but she did. For there was nothing that was going to stop her from making him as wild as he did her this night. “But perhaps in my mouth.”
With that, she dropped to her knees and took his cock deep into her mouth. She didn’t know what she was doing, merely that he had done as much for her and given her immense pleasure. Now she wished to do the same for him. She heard him moan and felt his hands sink into her hair, resting lightly on her head. Acting on impulse, she sucked and was rewarded with another groan. Her entire body came alive to his cues, listening for his increased breath, his groans, feeling the way his hips thrust into her. She used her mouth the same as she had her hand, moving up and down the length of his increasingly rigid manhood.
“Enough,” he bit out, gripping her arms and raising her to her feet once more. His expression was slack with passion, his eyes glazed. “Where the hell did you learn that?”
“From you,” she admitted, feeling slightly shy. She hoped she hadn’t mistaken his body’s response to what she’d done, for she had certainly enjoyed every moment of it. “I wanted to worship you as well.”
“I’m the most fortunate man on this earth,” he breathed, pulling her against him. “I truly don’t deserve you.”
“Nonsense,” she denied. “We are neither of us without our flaws, but together we become better than we ever could be apart.”
He kissed her then, melding their mouths in a powerful kiss that gave as much as it claimed. She matched his ardor, opening her mouth, her tongue mating with his. Her hands went to his shoulders and pushed the dressing gown off him until he was as fully nude as she. It landed at their feet along with her discarded nightdress. Jesse startled her by catching her up in his arms, their kiss still somehow continuing. She threw her arms around his neck for purchase, running her tongue along his as their kiss went on. She wanted him so desperately now she almost couldn’t bear it.
He laid her upon the bed with great care before joining her. Jesse lowered his body over hers, kissing her again and then turning his attention to her throbbing breasts. He bent down to suck a nipple into his hot mouth, alternating between sucks and light abrasion with his teeth. Bella arched into him as his fingers slipped between their bodies. He rubbed her tender button, working it quickly and with just enough pressure to have her pumping into him, a moan escaping her lips.
“Do you like this, sweetheart?” he asked, glancing up at her. He pushed a finger inside her, probing her readiness.
“Ah,” was all she could manage.
“I’m afraid that’s not a response.” He took her other nipple in his mouth, laving it with his tongue, tugging with his teeth.
“Mmm,” she said next, nearly delirious with pleasure.
He sank another finger into her already wet and pulsing passage. The sight of him pleasuring her body was enough to make her come undone. As he worked the nub of her sex with his thumb, she shattered. Her desire reached body-racking limits before breaking over her like the waves on the beach during a bitter storm.
“I reckon you do like this, if your reaction is anything to judge by,” he murmured, his voice a sinful, velvety drawl.
And then he replaced his fingers with his cock, thrusting into her. There was no pain this time, only the wonderfully new sensation of a different sort of pleasure entirely. She wrapped her limbs around his waist, bucking up against him in an effort to feel him deeper inside her body. He groaned and claimed her lips with another mind-hazing kiss. He pumped deeply and quickly into her, his pace just fast enough to make her body feel as if it were about to melt and just slow enough to bring her near to the point of climax without pushing her over the edge.
“Please,” she whispered, moving in time with him.
“Please what, my love?” He rested his forehead against hers as he thrust into her again and again.
She moaned, completely overwhelmed by the intensity of their passion. “I don’t know,” she moaned. In truth, her overwhelmed mind was no longer capable of ordinary thinking. Waves of pleasure ricocheted through her, from her breasts as they grazed his chest, to her core as he claimed her in the most primal way a man could. She was mindless, intoxicated by desire. There was nothing but Jesse, over her, inside her, his scent in her nostrils, his taste on her lips, his muscled shoulders beneath her questing fingertips.
She still couldn’t believe he was hers. She couldn’t believe they were finally making love as husband and wife, or that her body was capable of such awe-inspiring sensations. Blessed angels’ sakes, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to move or speak again.
“I’m going to fill you with my seed,” he told her. “Do you want that, Bella?”
An answering surge of yearning went through her. “Yes.” She wanted nothing more than for him to find his fulfillment as she had done. The mere thought had her tightening on his thrusting shaft until she too climaxed again, welcoming the molten spurt of his seed into her body.
He rocked into her, his head back, eyes closed in pleasure until the aftermath of their lovemaking finally left him and he rolled to his side, taking her with him. Feeling as if she were trapped inside a dream, she pressed her head against his beloved chest, listening to the rapid thrumming of his heart.
How she loved him. Dear God, how she loved this man.
An indeterminate amount of time trickled by, neither one of them able to speak after the life-changing experience of their first union as husband and wife.
“Jesse,” she murmured into the peaceful quiet of their contented breathing.
He kissed her head. “Yes, sweetheart?”
She thought of how he’d left her in the middle of the night at Wilton House. “Stay with me? Please? I know it’s silly, but I don’t want to be alone.”
He was silent, stroking her hair. “Of course,” he said. “Sleep well, Bella.”
“I love you,” she said on a pleased sigh. She nestled into his comforting warmth and drifted off into an easy slumber.
Jesse waited until his wife’s breathing was even and steady enough to indicate she’d fallen asleep. While their joining had been wondrous, the cold truth of reality was once more prodding him like a carbine pressed straight to his head. He’d wanted to tell her about the alarming frequency of his nightmares. After all, she already knew he suffered some old war devils, having witnessed them at Wilton House. But they had changed. The night he’d awoke to holes punched in his bedchamber walls rose strong in his mind, an ugly reminder. He couldn’t bear to unwittingly do Bella bodily harm. He’d sworn to protect her for the rest of her life, and he’d meant those vows.
He wouldn’t be sleeping in her chamber, not this night or any other. Nor would he be sleeping in the adjoining chamber as he’d done before their marriage. He’d had a chamber arranged d
own the hall for his use. It was the only way to protect her. He would be too far away to stumble back to her in the grips of his madness, and too far away, he hoped, for her to hear him crying out.
Gradually, he eased away from her embrace and stood from the bed. In the shadows, he could faintly detect the lines of her beautiful form. She slept on her side, hair spun over the pillow like finest silk. Yes, he’d wanted to confide in her when he’d first entered her chamber. But then, he’d seen her looking so innocent and trusting, gazing upon him with such unadulterated love in her eyes, and he’d turned complete coward. He didn’t want to see pity in her eyes.
He’d been afraid she would insist on putting herself in danger anyway, or that, even worse, she would look upon him with fear. He didn’t want his own wife to be afraid of him. He strode across the chamber, snatching up his dressing gown from the floor and stabbing his arms into the sleeves. Damn his nighttime demons to hell. Why, after all these years, did the war have to choose now to return from its grave, trying to pull him back into its fiery depths?
He tied the belt at his waist with more force than was necessary. Maybe it had been seeing Lavinia, or the shock of learning he had a daughter. Perhaps it had been caused by his return to Virginia, a land steeped in memories as visceral as they were vicious. He didn’t know. But what he did know was that he’d do anything to keep Bella safe from him. With one last look back at his sleeping wife, he quietly took his leave of the room.
Chapter Sixteen
Bella woke some time after she’d first fallen asleep, staring into the unfamiliar darkness of her new chamber. For a few breaths, she thought she was in her old bed at Marleigh Manor until she recalled the whirlwind of the day. She was Jesse’s wife, in name as well as deed. Bella smiled and stretched, reaching for her husband.
And felt only bed linen instead.
She was once again alone. Jesse had left her to return to his own chamber, despite her having asked him to stay. Her smile dissipated instantly into a frown. She fumbled about in the murk to light a gas lamp. It sputtered to life, bathing her chamber in a soft glow. There was no Jesse to be found. Even his dressing gown was gone. The sole evidence of their lovemaking was her nightdress, still lying crumpled and alone upon the carpet. Indeed, looking upon the room now, she’d swear Jesse had never even been there with her.
Worry gnawed at her. Why would he have left? Was something amiss? She threw back the bedclothes and rose from the bed, seeking out her robe. A growing alarm settled like a rock in her stomach. With shaking hands, she donned it and crept toward the door joining their chambers. She almost felt as if she were intruding, which was silly because Jesse was her husband.
It was silly, wasn’t it?
She hesitated, her hand on the knob, uncertain of how to proceed. She’d only been a wife for one day, after all, and the recommendations she’d received from the dowager for conducting herself in her marriage had been wholly unhelpful. Her mother had yet to accept Jesse as her son-in-law, and Bella wasn’t certain if she ever would. But that didn’t affect her current predicament.
Concern won out, and she opened the door, crossing the threshold. Jesse’s chamber too was shrouded in darkness. She peered inside, having difficulty seeing. She hovered at the perimeter of the room, listening for his breathing in the silence. She heard nothing.
“Jesse?” she called, quietly at first, and then with greater insistence. “Jesse?”
No answer. Her fears mounting, she crossed the chamber, taking care to avoid furniture as best she could. It was almost as if Jesse wasn’t there. Surely he wasn’t that sound a sleeper?
“Jesse?” Her hands fluttered about in the darkness until they met at last with a lamp. She lit it, effectively dispersing the inkiness of the night.
The reason for his lack of response was at last revealed before her. His bed was empty, carefully dressed and tucked with nary a wrinkle upon it. To her, it seemed as if he’d never even been inside the large high tester at all. He had disappeared yet again, leaving her no inkling as to where he’d gone. Her heart weighed down as heavily as ever, she doused the lamp and returned to her chamber, at a complete loss. She had no recourse to find him, save waking the servants and causing a great deal of gossip belowstairs.
She’d simply have to wait until the morning for her answer, if indeed there was one. For a long time, she lay in the quiet emptiness of her bed, smelling Jesse on her sheets, praying he hadn’t left her forever this time. The tears, when they came, slid down her cheeks. The violent sobs claimed her just as surely as her husband’s possessive lovemaking had done.
The next morning, Bella’s heart was galloping faster than a racehorse when she entered the breakfast room. She hadn’t dared to confide in even Smith about Jesse’s disappearance the night before. Her maid had simply chatted happily away and styled her in a jaunty silk morning gown of striped ivory and navy. Bella hadn’t even paid any attention to her toilette, she’d been so preoccupied with wondering whether or not her husband would be waiting for her at the breakfast table.
But now, her fears were answered as she crossed over the threshold of the small yet brightly lit room to discover Jesse was already seated with a filled plate before him. He was perusing a newspaper as if he hadn’t a care. The breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding slowly released. He was still here. Thank the blessed angels.
He looked up and stood at her entrance. “Mrs. Whitney, you’re looking exquisite as ever this morning. I trust you slept well?”
In truth, she was quite fatigued, so tired her eyes hurt. Of course, perhaps the crying she’d done had contributed to that. Heavens, she hoped her eyes weren’t puffed. She wanted to tell him that she hadn’t slept at all. She wanted to demand to know where he’d gone. She’d heard of husbands keeping mistresses. It was a common enough practice in the Marlborough House set. But she hadn’t believed Jesse would ever be such a man. Theirs had been a love match. Hadn’t it?
She faltered on her way to the table as her emotions clamored to be released, but she was ever aware of the presence of the butler presiding over the sideboard. A footman seated her and she kept her silence, afraid she would say something utterly foolish and opting instead not to say anything at all.
“Lady Bella?” Jesse persisted, his tone marked with unease. “Is something amiss?”
She met his gaze across the table. “I’m not certain.”
His brows snapped together in a frown. “I see.” He turned to the servants attending them. “Jackson, would you be kind enough to allow me a moment of privacy with Mrs. Whitney?”
The butler bowed. “Of course, sir.”
Bella watched the servants leave them in respectful haste before turning back to her husband. “You must simply dismiss them, Jesse, not offer explanation.” She wasn’t certain why she was chiding him now, except that it was a childish way of lashing out when he’d hurt her the night before.
He stared at her, his expression indecipherable. “I will endeavor to take that into account. I wouldn’t wish to offend your English sensibilities.”
Her words had hit their mark, but she felt no satisfaction. “It is simply that you must never become too familiar with them.” Of course, she considered Smith a confidante, but that was neither here nor there. She was punishing Jesse the only way she could. Every bit of her was desperate to know where he’d gone, why he’d left her.
“Thank you, Bella.” His tone was polite, but she detected an undercurrent of impatience. “Shall I make a plate for you?” He rose and strode to the sideboard without waiting for her response.
“Yes,” she said quietly, still hopelessly confused.
He brought a plate laden with eggs and sausages to her. As he placed it upon the table, he leaned into her and kissed her neck. “This is how I prefer to wish my wife a good morning,” he said lowly.
She couldn’t repress the shiver of desire his kiss and nearness sent through her. Bella turned to him, trying to steel herself against the sight of his ha
ndsome face and tempting lips so close to her. “I woke last night, and you were gone,” she began hesitantly, “when I had asked you to stay.”
“Ah, is that what’s distressing you, sweetheart?” He smiled, his dimple appearing. “I wondered what had you looking so cross.”
“It is merely that I asked you to stay,” she said again, feeling a bit foolish in the face of his charm.
“I’m sorry.” He dropped a kiss on her nose. “I simply returned to my chamber. I didn’t want to disturb you if I had a nightmare.”
“You returned to your chamber?” She searched his gaze for any sign of dishonesty. “When?”
“Just as soon as you were fast sleep.” He winked. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell a soul that you snore.”
He was lying. The heavy stone of dread was back in Bella’s stomach. She opened her mouth, about to ask him where he’d truly been, why he was prevaricating, but she was afraid she wouldn’t want to hear the answer. Her grip on happiness was yet so new, so tentative. She trusted him with her heart. He wouldn’t betray her, not the man she’d come to know and love. Perhaps he had simply gone to his study for a drink, she reasoned, before returning to his chamber. He’d told her at Wilton House that he sometimes suffered from nightmares. It all made sense.
She relaxed, the tension in her body easing. “I don’t snore,” she protested, at last realizing what he’d said.
Jesse just grinned before kissing her. It didn’t take long for the kiss to deepen, their mouths opening. The desire he’d brought raging to life the previous night sluiced back over her like hot bath water. She rested her hands on his shoulders, angling her head to allow him better access.
Heart’s Temptation Books 1–3 Page 53