by Jenna Jacob
Ryder and I had spent the past three days pretending we were the only ones on the planet. We’d talked about everything—except our precarious future together—laughed, played in the snow, cooked, and made love…lots and lots of love.
The snow had stopped falling yesterday. But I’d secretly been hoping another storm would roll in. The beam of sunlight quashed those fantasies, replacing them with a bitter omen.
Suddenly, the silent clock in my head started ticking. All the fears I’d been successfully shoving away were now rising to the surface with dreadful vengeance.
Dead men don’t come back to life. Ryder’s words circled my brain like a merry-go-round, except there wasn’t anything merry about their meaning.
Stomach pitching, I tossed off the covers and dragged on a pair of jeans and a heavy, pink cable-knit sweater. After making a stop at the bathroom to take care of business and brush my teeth, I padded to the great room. The air was teeming with woodsmoke from the roaring fire that mingled with the unmistakable aroma of bacon and coffee wafting from the kitchen. When I rounded the corner, Ryder was standing at the stove, dressed only in jeans and thermal socks. I stood in the doorway watching his wide, bare shoulders bunch and flex as he cooked. Dragging my gaze down farther, I drank in his slender waist and his tight, sexy ass.
A greedy moan seeped from my lips.
Turning, he stared at me before glancing out the window at the sunshine dazzling off the snow. He sent me a weak smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, while I struggled to harness my own dread.
“Morning, gorgeous.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but my chin began to quiver and tears flooded my eyes. Rushing across the room, I threw myself into his arms and sobbed against his neck.
“Aw, baby. Don’t cry. I hate it when you cry,” he murmured, stroking my back as he held me tight.
“I’m sorry,” I choked. “It’s just…the sun.”
“I know.” He smiled sadly as he brushed my tears away. “But we still have a few days before the road crews make it up here. We’ll figure it out.”
Based on the lack of conviction in his voice, I wanted to ask if we would or if Ryder had already come to his own heartbreaking conclusion.
He brushed a kiss over my lips and tapped my ass with his palm. “Grab a cup of coffee and take a seat. Breakfast is almost ready.”
Forcing my worries down, I filled a mug and sat down at the table. My gaze fell to the scars marring the wood. Memories of Papa and me sharing countless breakfasts at this very spot rushed over me like an ocean wave. Suddenly, his deep voice and endearing accent echoed in my ears.
Life does not give you things for free, Katiana. You must work, and work hard to have good grades, successful career, loving husband, and independent children. When life gets tough…and it will, mishka. It will knock you down, spit in your face. But you must never give up. Oh, you will want to. You will want to run, find a quicker path…safer road, but you cannot give in to easy temptation. You must fight for what brings happiness and fills your heart. Fight dirty if you must, but fight to win. Understand?
“Yes, Papa. I understand,” I softly whispered.
“What did you say, baby?” Ryder asked as he set a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast in front of me.
“Nothing.” I forced a smile and started to pick up my fork and dropped it again. The whole situation between Ryder and me pissed me off, destroying my appetite.
Ryder sent me a sideways glance. A frown deepened his face. “Talk to me, Katiana.”
“I’ve been trying to, but you keep blowing me off, like you did when I was fifteen.” His brows shot up at my harsh, pissy tone. “I’m not a little girl anymore. And I’m tired of pretending everything is all right. It’s not. Not by a long shot. We need to sort this out, and we need to do it now, because I’m not losing you again.”
He leaned forward in his chair and cupped my hand. “Baby, you and I both know there’s nothing to sort out. It is what it is. There’s not a damn thing we can do to change it. You have a life in the city. One I can’t be a part of there.”
“Why not?” I asked, lifting my chin.
“Because I’m supposed to be dead.”
“But you’re not. You’re very much alive.”
“Yes, but only one man has ever been resurrected from the dead. Trust me. There isn’t a soul on the planet who’s going to mistake me for Jesus.”
“Stop!” I snapped, slamming my hand on the table. “Stop making jokes like you did when I was twelve. I’m a woman, dammit!”
Ryder narrowed his eyes. “I’m well aware of that fact, Katiana. But the fact remains that I have to remain stuck up here on this godforsaken mountain, and you have responsibilities back in the city.”
“Not anymore. I quit.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said I quit. I quit school. I quit owning the gym. I quit paying rent on my apartment. I. Quit!”
“You can’t do that.”
“Why not? You did.” God, I hated tossing salt into Ryder’s still raw and open wounds, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Besides, I was doing exactly what Papa would want me to do…fighting for my heart.
“My situation was a whole lot different. It’s more than just me supposedly being dead.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and stared out the window. “There are too many bad memories in the city. Besides, I’ve been living in isolation for so long, I’d never adapt to society now.”
“Bullshit. You think I don’t know what dealing with ghosts are like?” I scoffed. “I dealt with yours every time I stepped into the gym. And now, Papa’s is there, too…on the floor, where he collapsed and died in front of my eyes. Trust me. I know all about the ghosts, Ryder.”
As he looked away, I caught the flicker of fear in his eyes.
My heart sputtered.
I’d never seen the great “Rage” Evans display anything but cocky courage and self-confidence. But catching the scant glimpse of the devil he was still fighting broke my heart in two.
After pushing back from the table, I crawled onto his lap.
Ryder instantly banded his arms around me and buried his face in my chest. “I’m sorry, Katiana, but I’m broken.”
He whispered his confession so softly I barely heard him.
I stroked my fingers through his hair and kissed his cheek. “No, you’re not broken, love. You’ve just been battling your demons for so long, you haven’t stopped to realize that you’ve already conquered them. I know it’s daunting, thinking about rejoining the living. But if it were easy, you wouldn’t have stayed on this mountain so long, even for me.”
Ryder
As I fought back the claws of inadequacy and embarrassment threatening to shred me, Katiana’s words echoed in my head. I couldn’t fathom how someone so young possessed such sage knowledge and understanding.
Maybe she was an old soul sent to heal and rekindle mine.
I didn’t have any answers, but I knew one thing for certain. If this tiny sprite could square her shoulders, lift her chin, and never stop fighting, then so could I.
No more thinking of myself as broken. Katiana had forgiven me without an ounce of reservation. It was time to forgive myself and find my fucking courage. I would do it…for her. After all, I was a born fighter. Somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten that. But if anything in this world was worth fighting for, it was my Katiana. It was time to put my gloves on again and claim the biggest prize of all—my girl and my fucking soul.
Raising my head, I lifted my chin. “You’re right.” I kissed her eyes, the tip of her nose, and her lips. “It’s time for me to rise from the ashes, spread my wings, and wrap them around the most precious gift I’ve ever been given…you.”
“W-what are you saying?” she asked with hope blazing in her eyes.
“I’ll go back home with you…” Her shrill scream of delight nearly broke my eardrums. “Under one condition,” I bellowed.
“What?” Her curious expressi
on did nothing to darken her joy.
“Marry me.”
She blinked. Her jaw dropped. “Y-you… Did you say…marry you?”
“Yeah.” I rasped out as my heart hammered wildly.
She nodded frantically as tears, happy ones this time, streamed down her cheeks.
“Say it, Katiana.”
“Yes.” She choked on a sob. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Suddenly she leapt off my lap and started racing toward the great room.
“Hey. Where are you going?”
She spun and shot me a blinding grin. “To pack.”
“But…” I shook my head. “Sweetheart, we’re not getting out of here for…who knows how long.”
“I don’t care. I’m going to pack up all your clothes so you don’t change your mind.”
I bit back a laugh and jumped to my feet with a growl. As I started after her, Katiana screamed and took off running again.
“You can’t pack if I tie you to the bed, woman,” I roared, chasing after her.
“You gotta catch me first.” Her heartwarming laughter pealed off the walls. It was the most beautiful sound I’d heard in four long, empty years.
Before she’d even reached the bathroom, I’d snagged an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against my chest. Bending, I claimed her lips before pivoting and pressing her up against the wall.
“I want you naked,” I growled, brushing kisses along her jaw.
“On the bed,” I continued, skimming my lips to the sensitive spot behind her ear.
“Legs spread wide.” Meshing my mouth to hers, I inhaled her excited gasp.
Rolling my hips, I stroked my rigid cock between her heated folds. Katiana clutched my shoulders and lifted, wrapping her legs around my waist.
“Carry me instead and I’ll make all your fantasies come true, mountain man.”
“You already have, my Katiana.”
Ten Days Later
I shoved the last of my things into the back hatch of Katiana’s rented SUV and shut the door. The damn thing was packed to the rafters. I heard the door to the cabin close and looked up, watching my raven-haired beauty lock the door before strolling toward me. The smile on her face rivaled the sun and continued to warm the lingering dark corners in my soul.
“Are we ready to go?” she asked, wrapping her arms around my waist and planting a cock-hardening kiss to my lips.
Dragging a stare over the cabin and land that had served as my sanctuary, I nodded. With Katiana’s help, I’d finally been able to pick the lock on my cage and make this monumental prison break I’d always longed for.
I was beyond ready to say goodbye to my bastion of guilt and shame.
Sinking my fingers into her silky mane, I tipped her head back and drank in the happiness, contentment, and love shimmering in her dark eyes. She pursed her lips and glanced away.
“Are you okay?”
She didn’t answer, simply studied the hills, growing increasingly nervous.
Suddenly, I was, too. “Katiana. Look at me.”
She slowly turned and peered up at me. I could feel the anxiety pinging off her as she swallowed tightly.
Tamping down the fears roaring to life inside me, I stroked her cheek. “What is it?”
“I’m late.” She dropped her head and placed her palm on her stomach.
Shock. Elation. Fear. And a whole host of other emotions morphed into a swirling cyclone of complete and utter ecstasy. I threw back my head and howled like a fucking wolf.
Katiana giggled as my feral cry echoed through the canyon.
“So…you’re okay with the possibility?”
“Okay?” I arched my brows. “Oh, baby. I’m way more than okay. I’m ecstatic.” My hand trembled as I gently placed it over hers, still pressed to her belly. “When is the baby due?”
She started laughing hysterically.
“What? That’s a normal question, right?”
She nodded as she wiped the tears of joy from her eyes. “Yes. It’s just…I don’t know for sure yet. I mean I’m only a couple days late, but if I am…pregnant, our baby should arrive sometime in August or September.”
“Our baby,” I whispered. “I fucking love the sound of that.”
“Me, too.” She beamed. “And I love you.”
“Oh, Katiana…I love you more than life itself.”
Hugging her tightly, I closed my eyes and breathed deep, filling my senses with her intoxicating scent of jasmine and honey.
Then I kissed her with all the passion and love exploding in my heart.
Kissed her with the hope she’d instilled in me, before slowly lifting from her succulent lips.
Katiana flashed me a sassy smile. “There’s a king-sized bed waiting for us at my apartment.”
A hungry growl rolled from deep in my chest. “Show me the way.”
“I already have,” she preened.
“Yes, you did, and I’m never getting lost again.”
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Rock Me Longer Excerpt
Sofia
“Why am I being nominated to fetch His Highness?” I leveled a glare at Ross Walker, drummer of the legendary rock group Licks of Leather, seated across the aisle of the opulent tour bus.
“Because you’re the road manager. You’re the one who makes sure this musical band of misfits gets to our next interview, sound check, and concert while convincing the press we’re choirboys.” He patted my shoulder derisively. “So go do your job.”
Forcing down a scathing reply, I clenched my jaw and counted to ten. Three weeks ago, I’d been happily living my dream job, orchestrating publicity and marketing strategies for Fusion Productions, the industry leader in concert promotions. Then my boss and company owner, Quinn MacKinnon, dangled a huge bonus in my face if I could keep the bad boys of rock in line for the remainder of their tour.
I’d hesitated since the last four road managers Quinn hired had quit, most in tears. But he was insistent, assuring that I’d gain immeasurable experience to help better serve our clients. That swayed me some, but in the end greed won out. I said yes, naively thinking, How hard could it be?
As it turned out, I’d signed on to an unending nightmare. I’d become a glorified babysitter to five musically gifted, beer-swigging, pussy-chasing adult frat boys.
Like it or not, hunting down the egotistical man-whore in question was part of my job description now. Hopefully when that six-figure bonus hit my checking account, these weeks of frustration and stress would be worth it. Right now, I wasn’t convinced.
Still, I wasn’t about to quit. Quinn and these rowdy rockers would soon discover how stubborn I could be. Not only did I loathe backing down from a challenge, I’d left everything behind in my quest for success—my home, my friends, even my fiancé. I would put up with these guys and their sophomoric antics another seven weeks and achieve my goal, come hell or high water.
Peering out the window of our tour bus, I studied the nondescript brick building Burk was supposedly inside. “What is this place?”
Bass player Syd Wilson lifted the signature fedora off his face and sent me a sidelong glance. “It’s where Quinn told us to pick up Burk.”
Of course the golden boy lead singer with an infuriating ego the size of Texas expected special treatment.
“I know. I was sitting at the table when Burk jumped up and left the restaurant before dinner, remember?”
Darren Ash, lead guitarist, bit back a smirk. “It’s…a club.”
“Oh, stop acting like you all don’t know what’s going on,” scoffed keyboard player Ozzy Page.
Ross sighed. “All right. It’s a place where Burk gets his freak on.”
Get his freak on?
Okay, fine. I was jealous. The fact that the rock god had never invited me to play with his microphone stung. But then, why would he? I wasn’t a pale-skinned, stick-thin blonde with ginormous tits, so I wasn’t his type. But come on…more than a mouthful of boobs was a waste, right? Along with my café-au-lait-colored skin, I had loose copper curls, courtesy of my sperm donor father’s Spanish heritage. And I also had hips, thanks to my addiction to French fries and chocolate. My physical attributes alone guaranteed Burk Jennings would never lock his lust-filled blue eyes on me or add my name to his to-do list. Which royally sucked because he was every woman’s dirty fantasy—especially mine.
Sure, I could try and seduce him, and Burk might even fuck me since he wasn’t the kind of man to turn down pussy. But I wasn’t going to. Aside from my fear of rejection, I wanted to keep my job. And no part of me wanted to be one more notch on his mic stand. I could get “just sex” anywhere. But I wanted to see if the rumors that Burk had a naughty dark side were true. I wanted to know if him controlling and commanding me flipped his switch as much as it inspired my fantasies.
Never going to happen.
Yes, I had it bad for the irresistible lead man, but I also had a healthy sense of self-preservation, so I hid my kinky desires behind an icy wall of indifference.
And damn him, the more distance I tried to put between us, the harder Burk pushed my buttons.
Nibbling my lip, I glanced out the window again. What kind of club was this place? A swingers’ den? A strip club? My stomach twisted. I had no desire to see the man who ruled my climax catalogue balls deep in another woman.