In for a penny, in for a pound, I thought. We took a leap of faith coming here, and despite my confused feelings for Elizabeth Ashar, I couldn’t see her wishing us harm.
The canape tasted surprisingly good, a far cry from our synthesised food on Aldeea. Of course, I had no idea what the bluish topping was, except for being vaguely reminiscent of sweet and sour Asian food glazing.
Next to the queen, Charles had eventually joined us in trying some Haillar delicacies. Based on his expression, he either had the bad luck of choosing a particularly bitter dish or couldn’t stand the thought that some unknown alien biologist outdid him by creating nutritious food that actually tasted good.
Next to me, Mertens filled his glass from one of the pitchers containing a whitish drink, hopefully a fruit juice.
“Not bad, I’d say it’s something between kvass and pina colada. Definitely non-alcoholic, though.”
It seems Ashar was tea-total, no matter her avatar. Strangely, this innocuous thought worked miracles for my peace of mind, for in this minor detail the alien queen had proved consistent with herself, alike to the Ellandra I knew. Dear Liz had never been known for her abstinence.
“A Haillar adept called Maurien Sen’Diessa visited us yesterday, on behalf of the Council.”
Unsure of the Chaos Queen’s reaction, Koslowski had delivered this seemingly random statement on a neutral tone, clearly fishing for information. Ashar stopped for a moment, then responded with a smile.
“Maurien Sen’Diessa is a dear friend of mine. I’m glad the Council representative was him and no other.”
The queen’s answer confirmed Maurien’s own introduction. Yet, Ashar’s response also implied some Council officials might be more friendly to us than others, in itself a critical piece of information. For sure Christine had a similar thought, as she continued with an oblique inquiry.
“May I ask how the current Council queens see the future relationships between Dominion and the human race?”
We knew next to nothing about the Haillar power balance, a critical factor in Dominion’s attitude towards us. We didn’t even know the makeup of the current Council, except for the fact that Maurien’s queen was part of it. Yet Ashar didn’t seem inclined to share any insights on this matter, giving us the official line instead.
“All of us rejoice to come across a new sentient race, Christine. Sentient species have the moral duty to help and protect each other, but each species has the right of self-determination. This is the very foundation of our Dominion Accords and in this respect, all queen’s voices are one.”
By now, I started to understand Ashar well enough to pay attention not only to her words but also to her omissions. ‘In this respect, all voices are one’, she said.
I wondered where the divergences between the queens occurred.
✽✽✽
The rest of the dinner passed with surface talks.
The food was good, the best I had since the start of the mission, a symphony of flavours, some completely alien, some almost familiar, but not quite. Ashar explained the process by which they made Haillar food edible, which was completely different than Charles and Remelda’s approach. Mertens even tried a couple of kalan and driang dishes, declaring boisterously that it was worth travelling 4,000 light-years to taste some quality cat food. Nobody else took his dare, though I supposed kalan food was as alien to humans as Haillar food was.
We bid our farewells late into the night, and the queen called for an attendant to escort us to our quarters.
“Peter, may I have a moment of your time?”
I stopped, unable to find an excuse to dodge her request. Christine threw me a concerned look but couldn’t exactly invite herself to this private discussion. I had an awful feeling that I knew why the Chaos Queen asked me to stay, that it was all about my irrational reaction to meeting her, that I will end this day even more embarrassed that I was now.
Ashar waved me close to the window and touched the crystal briefly. The entire panel vanished miraculously, and we stepped through in a balcony suspended above the Sen Dorien compound.
“I was true to you, Peter, earlier today” said the queen. “I’m not Liz, and our friend is gone, never to return. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about this. I can do many things, but I cannot cheat death.”
“Forgive me Ellan … Elizabeth. Meeting you was quite a surprise, seeing you as human quite a shock. It’s difficult for me to come to terms with all of this, especially since we still don’t fully understand what a Haillar queen is.”
“Ellandra’s body was just an eka construct, same as this one. It’s only energy poured into a mental pattern and converted into matter. Matter conversion is not unusual, being one of our eka skills. What is unique and truly unexplainable is our spirit’s ability to endure after death, at least long enough to create a new body. This mystery aside, I’m still Ashar Sen’Dorien, the person you befriended on Aldeea, no more and no less.”
“I’m sorry, my friend, but I feel I don’t even know who that person is. Who are you, Elizabeth Ashar Sen’Dorien?”
CHAPTER 13 (ELIZABETH)
“Who are you, Elizabeth Ashar Sen’Dorien?”
Who am I? A good question, indeed, and one I wish I had the answer. I’ve asked myself the same thing again and again. Seventy thousand cycles are a long time, and during all these millennia I became so many things for so many people.
“For you, Peter, I’m Elizabeth the Earth woman, the bridge between our worlds. For my sister and for the other queens I’m Ashar, their long-time comrade. The one they fought together with. The one they built the Dominion with. For the Dorien, Haillar and Sen’Haillar alike, I’m their Suzerain, their protector. And for the enemies, I’m the Chaos Queen, Destroyer of Life, the Dismantler.”
“I don’t understand it,” says Peter. “The Ellandra I know, the Elizabeth I see, are good people, compassionate people. I cannot reconcile this with all these names. I can’t imagine you associated with Chaos, with evil”.
“Chaos is an affinity as any other, my friend. It is inherently neither good nor evil. It’s what we chose to do with it that makes us heroes or villains. Same as with any other aspect, be it Light, Fire or Matter.”
“But Chaos is a force of destruction.”
“Indeed, it can be, but it’s so much more than that. It’s easier to explain with the elemental aspects like Fire and Frost, for example. A sun, ultimately Fire incarnate, brings life into the world, as without heat all planets would be frozen balls of ice. Does this make Fire good and Frost evil? Not quite. Fire unchecked can be equally deadly, would burn everything in its path. It’s the balance between Fire and Frost that nurtures life, not one affinity or the other. It’s the same with Order and Chaos. Think about it. A world of pure Order would be forever unmoving, an entire universe frozen in a crystal lattice.”
“Still, how does this apply to Oblivion, for example? How can total annihilation be good?”
” You’ll be surprised that Neun Norian, the Queen of Oblivion and Suzerain of Aldeea, is one of the most decent people I’ve ever come across. And I count here the ones sitting in the Conclave. Death is part of life, Peter. Without it, there can be no birth.”
“This sounds quite philosophical, Elizabeth. For the first time since we’ve met, I feel like you are preaching an alien religion.”
“Oh, it’s all very real. One of the most horrible sights I came across during the samun wars was a world choked by Life. Hungering to expand, madly trying to multiply. The local overlord, a Life adept, had the brilliant idea of creating races of undying servants, their only imperative being to replicate. By the time we came, he was buried under masses of creatures devouring each other, sparing no one except for their Lord. We incinerated that world in a blast of fire, and it was an act of mercy.”
“What gives you the right to decide what’s right or wrong, to deal justice on such a cosmic scale, Elizabeth? Is anything keeping the queens’ powers in check, other than you rest
raining each other?”
“We are governed by the Dominion Accords. We use our power to defend our confederation against any threat. By any available means.”
“Including genocide, the total extermination of an enemy species?”
“Yes, if there isn’t any other way. Protecting our race is the reason we exist and will remain so as long as we’ll endure.”
“You talk about life and death but forgive my question, aren’t you immortal?”
“Nobody is truly immortal, not even us. I lived thousands of lives, and by the same count, I died thousands of deaths, each time returning to protect my people. I’d like to believe that none of them was in vain, that each accomplished something. This was the duty all of us accepted the first time we became Avatars: to spin the wheel of life again and again in each other’s company, never having families, never having children. All the time knowing that sometime in the future the circle will break, for nothing lasts forever. And one by one we’ll eventually die the final death.”
✽✽✽
We talked until late in the night, and I stayed on the terrace long before Peter took his leave. I stared in the distance watching the flickering lights getting dim one by one, as the entire Sen’Dorien estate was calling the day.
I haven’t talked about our origin and the purpose we gave to our existence in a very long time. In fact, I don’t remember doing it in the past twenty thousand cycles, since the Scourge War began. There hasn’t been a reason for such a conversation with one of my race, as the queens have always been there for them, eternal, as much part of Dominion as Tao Bellona and Ka Loren. Nobody debates why the sun rises in the morning and sets at the end of the day. It simply does, and everybody knows the mechanics, so there is nothing to question about it.
Our alien allies could have challenged us, yet they never did. Oh, some of them questioned one provision or another in the Dominion Accords, some even postponed joining our confederation for hundreds of cycles, yet none of them had the audacity to challenge the power of the queens. Not formally and not in friendly discussions, at least not in our faces. Yet Peter was seeing us with fresh eyes and doing precisely that, with no preconceptions or ulterior motive I could discern.
✽✽✽
Next morning, I contact Maurien for a catch-up and some friendly gossip, to the extent his allegiance to Faun and role as Council’s advisor permitted. We used to have regular chats like this before my self-imposed exile on Aldeea.
We agree to meet at a tea shop next to the Diessa tower, not far from the Council Hall. While each of the houses maintains an official residence in the Bellona system, formal business is hosted by six office towers symmetrically distributed around the Council. Due to the archways connecting the buildings, viewed from the air, the entire complex looks like a giant flower with six open petals, the heart of the Haillar government.
“Elizabeth, my dear queen, I’m glad you’re still on Tao Bellona. I was hoping to hear from you following the Conclave events, yet you disappeared again immediately after.”
Maurien was one of the few people who never had any difficulty adapting to our identity changes. In close to forty cycles, I can’t remember an instance when he failed to address a queen by her current avatar name or otherwise committed any social blunder.
“How could I leave without seeing you, my friend. It’s been cycles since we met each other.”
Five cycles to be more exact, since having enough of politics I decided to take Norian’s offer and temporarily moved to Aldeea. I’m not sure Maurien Sen Diessa has ever forgiven my betrayal, for his heart had always been with Tao Bellona and his busy life as Dominion administrator.
Indeed, he offers me a gentle rebuke, while at the same time his eyes are smiling with mischievous glee.
“I can hardly be blamed for that, Lady Queen. You run away in the middle of the night, without saying goodbye or even looking back.”
That’s entirely not true. We talked in detail before my decision, I bid my farewells, and Maurien even threw a party in my honour the evening before my departure. ‘The restless queen’ he dubbed me.
Teasing aside, I shift to more serious topics.
“I’m afraid Council politics does not agree with me. Not five cycles ago, and even less these days”.
Maurien’s face is instantly sober.
“I’m sorry, Elizabeth, but there was little I could do. Faun was riled by your invitation and the consequences for the human contact, and even more so by your choice of avatar. You know she always advises caution when dealing with new races, not to mention your unilateral act goes against Sen’Diessa’s interests.”
As conservative as she is, I doubt Faun would have been so averse to my actions if they happened to be to her advantage. Yet, none of it was Maurien’s fault, since he could have hardly supported me against his nominal queen and more importantly against the interests of his House. All of us know the difference between friendship and house allegiance, and I wouldn’t expect anything less than support from my own advisers should my and Faun’s roles be reversed.
“What can you tell me of your queen’s stance now, after the Conclave vote?”
“Don’t get me wrong, Elizabeth. Faun is not entirely opposed contacting the humans and bringing them into Dominion’s fold, as long as we proceed with caution and do it at the right time and with proper supervision. Having said this, you should expect that the House Sen’Diessa will ask for some form of shared interest, to compensate us for our probable loss.”
Any new race joining the Dominion always produced a minor earthquake in our trading relationships, as new markets were open, substitutes became suddenly available, monopolies were lost. From what we learned on Aldeea the human race only has one planet, but its population exceeds any Core world by at least an order of magnitude so one would expect some disruption. As a result of my gamble on Aldeea, Sen’Dorien was well-positioned to benefit from this shift in fortunes, but I didn’t believe for a moment the other houses would not protect their wealth.
“Please inform Faun discreetly that our House is set to manage Earth accession to the Dominion in everyone’s benefit, Haillar and human alike.”
Maurien nods, catching the undertone in my words. Once the agreements are signed, and a new species joins our confederation, no Haillar will dream of taking advantage of them. To do so will go against the very foundations of the Dominion. In the interim period, though, rules are less clear cut, and ‘accidental’ deals sometimes happen. Not in this case, though, not while we have established ourselves humanity’s wardens.
“On an unrelated topic”, I continue, “does a Seer happen to reside on Tao Bellona?”
Seers are powerful Spirit adepts, second to none but Faun Sen’Diessa herself. Amongst their many talents, they can visualise mental patterns and are often employed in assessing the level of eka stress. Yet, I’m not concerned with eka madness, at least not in the immediate future. As perceptive as ever, Maurien is quick to grasp the purpose of my question.
“Shall I understand you need a Seer to ascertain the way your mind interacts with this new species’ neural patterns.”
“Precisely.”
I keep my answers short as I’ve no intention to advertise my strange memory flashbacks and odd sense of humour. Not even to Maurien.
“You are in luck. Incene Sen’Diessa is currently visiting our Bellona base, so I can arrange a meeting. You’ll have to come to Merdun, though.”
Unlike all the other houses, the Sen’Diessa compound is not located on Tao Bellona, but on Merdun, a distant moon orbiting a gas planet at the edge of the system. Oriel Sen’ Diessa, Faun sister and the Warrior Queen, had shaped it out of lifeless rock millennia ago wanting a place close to the military shipyards and the outer system fortifications surrounding Bellona. At the time the Spirit Mistress did not entertain moving so far out of the way, but later she realised the benefits of an isolated refuge, far from the tumult of millions of sentient minds.
“I’ll
be grateful if you can inform Incene that I’d like to visit her tomorrow, at noon Council time if possible.”
“I’m sure she’ll be delighted and honoured with your visit, My Queen.”
I must understand my mental problems. The last thing I need is to lose control in the-ten days to come.
CHAPTER 14 (PETER)
I returned to our apartments in the late-night hours. Or maybe early morning as no one else was still around, though I was sure they burned to learn what Elizabeth had to say.
I was bone-tired, not so much physically exhausted as emotionally drained after all the revelations earlier today. Yet despite this or maybe because of it, sleep wouldn’t come, so I laid in my bed alone with my thoughts, alone with my fears.
I lived my entire life in a world where the rule of law applied, where power checks were a given. A world of elected leaders who were representatives of the people, at least in theory. Oh, we had plenty of backroom arrangements and abuses, no doubt about that, politics being what it was since ancient times. It wasn’t a perfect system, but it was the best system I knew, by far superior to the ancient despotisms or the more recent feudal monarchies.
Yet, the Haillar Dominion was the polar opposite of this paradigm, because in every aspect that mattered, the Dominion was the Queens, and the Queens were the Dominion. ‘L'Etat, c'est moi’, I’m the kingdom of France, boasted Louis the XIVth when the French monarchy was at its height. Bullocks! The deranged ramblings of a small man, boasting in his self-importance. Yet the Queens had been there at the dawn of the Haillar confederation, and I was totally convinced that their social construct would only last for as long as the last queen would be standing, and not a moment longer. How could it endure without them, since their power was so thoroughly ingrained in the very fabric of this alien society?
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