“I couldn’t!” she yells back, surprising me. Ashlee rarely ever yells at me. I am the yeller.
“Coward!” I spit at her, turning to stomp up the stairs. I have heard enough of this. Enough of her excuses. I can wait for Jax in his room, which is what I should have done to begin with. I have made it halfway up the steps when her voice stops me.
“They would have killed you. I didn’t fight, because I wanted to save you.”
I am frozen to the spot as her words sink in. Killed me? I wish I could say that doesn’t make sense, but after everything that I have learned about Jahar’s soul and the prophecy, I know her words to be true. They already want me dead. They just need a reason that won’t make them look like the monster’s that they are.
Was that it? Did they think that Ash wouldn’t do it? That she wouldn’t leave me, or that she would tell me? Was it all a test that they designed for her to fail so that they could make my death look real? Was this the council’s way of eliminating the threat without starting a war?
If I were a better person, this is where I would turn around and tell my friend that I forgive her. This moment is the moment that I would choose the high road. It turns out...I am not a better person. Anger and pain have been my life for the last few months, and even though I know forgiveness is the right thing to do.... I just can’t.
Forgiveness takes time, and I’m not ready. I do the most selfish thing that I have ever done. I walk away.
∞
I have made myself a cocoon under Jaxon’s covers as I wait on him to return. My head is buried under the blanket, as I attempt to shut out the world. To have one safe place, if just for a moment.
This is how he finds me.
“What are you doing?” he laughs, his face appearing under my covers. His eyes dance with humor as he takes in my appearance. I pull the cover down, blocking out the outside world and him, as I give him a muffled reply.
“Hibernating,” I snap. I’m not angry at him. He is just the one here, and I want to be angry. Hell....I need to be. Silence greets me from the other side, and sadness fills me. I am getting good at that. Pushing people away.
Why can’t they see that I don’t really want them to go? I just want someone who is willing to push back. To hold on.......
The covers above my head lift again, and I don’t have time to react as a semi-dressed Jaxon jumps in beside me. His warmth wraps around me as he pulls me to his side. The bed dips as he pulls the covers back over us, blocking out the world, and locking us into one of our own.
“What are you doing?” I ask, totally thrown off by his abs. Abs that my fingers itch to touch. Reading my mind, he takes my hand, placing it on his stomach. His legs wrap around my now bare ones as he pulls me closer.
“Hibernating,” he whispers, kissing me behind the ear. “Princess.....” he growls, his voice dropping to a sexy timbre that make me squirm. “Are you wearing my shirt?”
My cheeks redden as I remember that I am in fact wearing his shirt. After everything with Ashlee, I just wanted Jaxon. He wasn’t here, so wrapping up in something that was his was the next best thing.
“I’m sorry,” I say, suddenly aware that his leg has moved closer, pressing against the cotton of my underwear.
“I’m not,” he says, fingers tracing a line down my side to my thigh. He stops there, and I don’t know if I should be grateful or upset.
“Want to tell me why we’re hibernating?” Jax says, his thumb tracing the line of my collar bone.
No. Not really. What I want is for him to take my mind off of everything. For his lips and touch to take me away from all the crazy shit that has become my life. I want to know what it is like to have him in........
“Princess,” Jax laughs. “You are making it hard.”
“I hope so,” I giggle, and he groans as he shifts us.
“Why Maci....what a dirty mind you have,” he chides playfully. He plants a soft kiss to my forehead as he puts a little bit of distance between us.
“I meant you are making it hard to be a good guy. Now tell me what happened.”
Tears well up in my eyes and before I realize it, I am telling him everything. All of the hurt and pain I feel at Ashlee’s betrayal comes pouring out of me. He lets me talk, wiping my tears away with his thumb.
“I know she hurt you. That I hurt you,” he says sadly. He pulls the covers back, letting in some air as he turns on a light beside the bed. “I also know that she saved you. When the time is right, you’ll forgive her. You forgave me.”
He’s right. I did forgive him, so it only makes sense to forgive her too. If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t I lie to save her? Feeling like I need a subject change STAT, I ask the one thing that has been bothering me all day.
“Where were you? I get that Ryker was supposed to tell me you were gone, but where did you go?” I inquire, feeling a little bad for being all in his business. Still...I want to know. It had to be something huge for him to just leave me.
Indecision flashes across his face. A sharp pain throbs inside my skull as his voice whispers across my mind. Which would be fine, except I am looking right at him, and his mouth isn’t moving.
I can’t tell her about the council...she has already dealt with so much today.
“What about the council? What about them can’t you tell me?” I ask, rubbing my neck in a lame attempt to stave off the killer headache that just tried to take me out. Gesh...you would think being an immortal badass would excuse me from headaches.
“You...you heard that?” Jaxon asks, smiling as he pulls me in for a hug. His warm hands replace mine on my neck, rubbing my sore muscles. A sigh leaves me as his fingers work their magic.
Ahhhh.....A man with magic fingers is worth their weight in gold.
“I will remember that princess,” he laughs. “But back to the question. You read my mind?”
“I......I guess I did,” I smile, proud that I can finally do it. “Is that why my head hurts?”
Jax looks at me with concern before shaking his head. “It shouldn’t. I mean, mine never does. Maybe it is stress?” he supplies, and I nod my head. Stress is a likely cause. The last few weeks haven’t exactly been sunshine and roses.
“The council?” I ask, steering this conversation back to what I want to know. Jaxon’s fingers momentarily still on my shoulders, before resuming their slow gentle strokes.
“I got called to the council last night. Micah showed up while you were sleeping. They just wanted to ask a few questions. Nothing to worry about.”
He doesn’t look like it is nothing to worry about. He looks like he swallowed something sour, but I let it drop for now. There is only so much crazy that a person can handle in a day. I have reached my limit.
“They must have had a lot of questions,” I say, shifting so that he can reach my lower back. “Since you were there all day.”
“Why Princess.....are you jealous?” he laughs, his fingers sliding under my shirt and up my spine. I suppress the moan that wants to slip free as his fingers drain the tension from my body. No one has done this for me before. I must say, massages are my new favorite thing.
“No,” I grin, complying when his hands guide me onto my stomach. He leans down, placing a kiss to my back before continuing the massage.
Heaven....this has to be heaven.
“Just factual,” I sigh, sleep tugging at me.
“Very well noisy. If you must know, I wasn’t at the council the entire day. I was making something....for you.”
“Me?” I gasp, whipping my head around, glorious massage forgotten.
“Yes. It was a surprise, but I suppose after everything now is the perfect time really. Do you want to see it?” Jax asks, his grey eyes churning with so much emotion that it clogs my throat.
“I would love to,” I whisper. His grin is infectious as he hauls me to my feet. He takes my hand, leading me to the door. He opens it, but closes it in the same motion. He turns back to me, holding up a finger for me to wait.
“One second,” he says, walking to his dresser and pulling out a white tie. Mischievousness glitters across his features as he drapes it across my eyes, securing it behind my head. “There...that is better.”
My hands touch the make-shift blindfold, my mind going to the gutter as I imagine combining this with the feather in the pocket of my hoodie.
“Princess,” he growls, and my cheeks tint pink because I know he heard that.
“So—sorry,” I stammer, not sorry at all.
Jaxon’s hand smacks my ass, and it does nothing to get my mind out of the gutter. “Be a good girl and let me surprise you, and maybe...just maybe....I will show you what else my fingers can do.”
I swallow roughly, heat infusing every cell in my body.
“Now are you coming or what?” he laughs, taking my hand and pulling me along.
“Yes sir,” I purr, following him out of the room.
~ Chapter 23 ~
My heart flutters like crazy as Jaxon leads me blindly down the hall. Whatever my surprise is, it is here in the house. We don’t even go down the stairs, which tells me that it is on the same floor as his room. What could it be? What could be so important to him that it took him all day?
“Is it a puppy?” I guess, and Jax just laughs. I have been naming every random thing that I can possibly think of since the moment that we stepped out of his room. Even blindfolded, I can almost see him shaking his head at me.
“No Maci. It is not a puppy. Just like it wasn’t a kitten, a fish, or a goat. You are seriously hung up on animals though. I am starting to worry that I should have gotten you a puppy,” he laughs, pulling me to a stop.
“I do heart some puppies, but I am sure that whatever you got me will be just as good. I just hate surprises, so can we hurry up? The suspense is killing me.” I use my whiny voice, sticking out my lower lip in a pout.
I gasp as he leans forward, taking that lip and pulling it into his mouth. He bites down softly. There is just something hot about being touched while blindfolded. I will so be keeping this too.
“I do love that lip Princess. As much as I would love to see you pout some more. We are here.”
I hear a door click and Jax pulls me forward a few more steps. His hands are gentle as he unties the blindfold. It falls slowly from my face, and my eyes widen when I see just what it is that he was so excited to show me.
“You...you did this?” I gasp as my eyes eat up the space. A giant room painted in the softest shade of blue greets me, with white bookshelves that stretch from the floor to the ceiling. Books....books take up every available space, and my eyes spot some of my favorites among them. The far wall is a giant window complete with a reading nook, that overlooks the grounds. A spiral staircase is in the middle, and my eyes trace it up, noticing the loft that sits above the library. A bed sits atop it, surrounded on all sides by a sheer white canopy.
“It’s...” I was going to say beautiful, but Jaxon’s voice cuts me off before I can.
“Yours,” he says simply.
My eyes snap to his. “You.....you gave me a library?” I ask, just making sure that I understand.
“Yes and no,” he shrugs, taking my hand and pulling me to the reading nook. “More like I built you one. This used to be where we kept our weights,” he says sheepishly.
“You built me a library?” I repeat, still making sure that I understand. His cheeks tint as he rakes a hand through his hair.
“Well yeah....I saw how much you always wanted one in your thoughts. If you don’t like it......”
I pounce. My lips crashing to his before he can finish his sentence. Is he crazy? Not like it? I love it! He built me a freaking library! What girl wouldn’t love a boy that builds her a library?
“Better than a puppy?” he teases, pulling back from our kiss.
“Better than ten puppies. Jaxon I......I love this,” I say, meaning it.
“I love you,” he says, and all the air gets stuck in my lungs. His eyes lock onto mine, steady and sure. That is who Jaxon is. The steady to my wobbly. The certain to my indecision. He is hands down the best guy that I have ever met, and even if it gets us both killed, I love him too. I have from the moment I first saw him.
“Love you too,” I smile, pulling him in for another kiss. I tug on his shirt, pulling him closer as I show him without words just how much. I don’t push too far. Mostly because I know that Jaxon will stop me. He meant what he said about not sleeping together. In his mind, completing the bond puts me in danger. Something that I know he will never do.
So for tonight I will just let Jaxon love me. No strings...no demands. I will settle for stolen kisses and soft touches, because I finally realized something that I should have known all along.
We have time. All the time in the world, and I will not waste another second of it.
∞
Morning comes way too early the next day, and even though I never want to go to school again, I know skipping is not an option. Jaxon explained to me last night that Wanda was tuned over to the council by King Gabriel, but that it was imperative to make everyone else believe that it was business as usual.
The Lux family is royalty, and no one can know that they have a weakness. In their world, any weakness can be used to destroy them. His family runs the school, so it is important that they are seen here.
King Gabriel is to take over Wanda’s duties. The rest of the world simply thinks that the head mistress was called away on council business.
Jaxon also explained to me that he built me the library in hopes that I would stay with them. He wants to protect me, and feels that he can do that better if I stay here. I tried to protest, stating that there is no way his brothers want me here, but he waved me off.
Class goes by quickly, and the day is pretty quiet. I sit with C.J. again at lunch, trying to fix our friendship. I search out Ashlee, but don’t see her. That is until the end of the day. She and Jaxon are waiting outside of the main building, talking in front of a shiny black convertible that I have never seen before. They look like they are arguing about something, but the minute that they see me they stop talking.
“Hey guys! What’s up?” I ask, hugging Jax as I walk up to them. Ashlee shakes her head, and Jax rolls his eyes. Ryker and Braxton pick that moment to walk up, completing our little group of angelic misfits.
“Ashlee.....” Jaxon says, drawing out her name with aggravation. “Was talking to Bianca today. I wanted to know why.”
“And I told Jaxon that it wasn’t any of his business,” Ashlee snaps, looking at him like she could kill him. That is a good question though. Why is my bestie talking to my mortal enemy? The old me wouldn’t have given it a second thought, but the trust I once had for her died when she did.
“Leave her alone Jax,” Braxton cuts in throwing his arm over Ash’s shoulder. His face holds a certain amount of awe as he looks at her, and it strikes me then how hard it must have been for him to give up his sister.
At least that explains why he hates me.
I can tell that Jaxon has no intention of dropping anything, so I decide to help him. Besides, as much as I hate bitchy Bianca. We have bigger issues.
“Yeah,” I tease, jabbing him in the ribs. “Leave her alone. Ash can be friends with whoever she wants to be friends with.” Just not bitchy Bianca I think to myself, but I don’t say it out loud. I have never liked those girls. You know the ones. The ones who think that you can only have one friend, or try to tell you who you can and can’t like. Friendship doesn’t work that way. It shouldn’t be conditional.
“Thank you Maci,” Ashlee says, smiling triumphantly at Jaxon. She turns to me, jumping up and down in excitement as she grabs my hand. I jump with her as the boys’ giggle.
“Why are we so excited?” I ask, laughing at her enthusiasm. Her blue eyes sparkle as she holds up her keys like they hold all the answers. Yeah...I am going to need more than that.
“Because we are going sshhhooopppiiinnngggg,” she sings. Ah. Now I
get it. At least I know she didn’t fake her love for retail therapy. All three boys turn to her with a scowl, but she totally ignores them as she drags me toward the shiny black car that I am guessing belongs to her. She opens my door, but a hand reaches out, slamming it shut.
I look over, expecting to see Jaxon, but it is Ryker I find. He looks pissed. Level red pissed. “Not a good idea sis,” he growls, shooting daggers at her.
The others nod their heads, for once all agreeing. Her eyes shine with a coldness that I haven’t seen from her before as a smile cracks out across her face. “How else are we getting dresses for the dance?” she says sweetly...too sweetly. Several curses sound behind me as Jaxon steps forward.
“What dance?” I ask, looking at Jaxon. His jaw is hard as he stares his sister down. A dramatic gasp leaves Ashlee as she hits Jaxon on the arm.
“You didn’t ask her?” she says, but her eyes say that she already knew that he didn’t. She just wanted me to know. Which is so Ashlee that it almost makes me laugh. She is a mean girl at heart.
“The fall formal,” Jaxon says, taking my hand and pulling me away from the car. I didn’t know that they had dances here, but I guess it makes sense. They are royalty. Of course they would have dances. They must not advertise them around school like traditional American high schools though. I haven’t seen a flyer, or even heard about it until now. Not that it matters. It is just a dance.
“Oh.....then we need to go shopping. I don’t have a dress,” I laugh, going to step around Jaxon and get in the car. Jaxon’s hand latches out, catching me around the wrist in a soft grip and pulling me to a stop.
“Maci wait,” he whispers. His eyes find mine, and the sadness I see there nearly breaks me. Something is hurting him. My hand flies to my chest, rubbing at my heart in an attempt to soothe an ache that isn’t mine. It is his. I can....I can feel his pain.
“What?” I ask, stepping back to him. I give him my full attention. A really bad feeling settles like lead in my gut as he looks at me. “What’s wrong?” I ask him, hating the look on his face.
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