Cole frowned. A suspicion formed. “You’re not still doing that stupid juicing diet after I told you to stop, are you?”
He saw her tense in Julian’s arms.
“Oh, Keira,” Cole drawled at her guilty look. “You’re in so much trouble.”
Fuck. Crap.
Why did she have to have such an observant boss? Why did he have to care what she ate? It was nobody’s business if she wanted to lose a few pounds.
Okay, maybe it was kind of Julian’s business. She knew he wouldn’t be happy. He was always telling her how gorgeous she was. He didn’t understand. Look at him, how could he? He was the gorgeous one. Totally out of her league.
“Juice diet? What’s he talking about, Keira?” Julian asked.
“Can you put me down?” She wiggled in his arms. “You’ll get a sore back.”
“Why would he get a sore back, Keira?” Cole asked in a low voice. “Does he have a back problem?”
“No, but I’m too heavy for him to hold like this.”
Aw. Fuck. She blamed her fatigue for letting that slip out. That stupid juice diet left her constantly hungry, and she was always having to pee. She’d lost five pounds, but it was probably all water.
If she’d been in her right mind, she’d have realized saying those words was like waving a red flag in front of an angry bull. Actually, make that two angry bulls.
“Too heavy?” Cole muttered, he gently grasped her chin and lifted her face so she had to look into his gray gaze. Most of the time, his eyes were incredibly cold and chilling. But, right now, they were filled with heat. A mix of anger and arousal.
“Did you hear that, Julian?”
“I did,” Julian grumbled. Oh, no, she hated making him unhappy. It made her feel sick inside. Julian was her big teddy bear. Her biggest supporter. Her love. He always sought to make her happy, to give her what she needed. “You know what happens if you put yourself down, Keira.”
Crap.
She glanced over at Cole.
“What happens, Keira?” Julian pressed.
“I get punished,” she whispered.
She wanted to protest that she didn’t deserve to be punished. But she’d hidden her diet from Julian, which had filled her with such guilt she almost couldn’t take it. A punishment would help erase that icky feeling. Would help her sleep at night.
And she did know how much he disliked her putting herself down. So, yeah, she kind of deserved it. She just didn’t know how Cole would react to that.
Cole stiffened and shot Julian a look. “You’d hurt her?”
“I’d never hurt her,” Julian scowled back at him. “I love her. Adore her. This is for her. She needs it. I need it. You can think what you like about our desires, but you don’t get to make either of us feel bad. This is our choice. If Keira didn’t want this, all she would need to do is say her safeword and it would all stop. Her submission is a gift. I would never take it by force. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t make it wrong.”
Cole’s jaw was tight. He glanced down at her. “You want this?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“And you would use your safeword if you needed to?”
“I would,” she said more firmly.
“You’re right. I don’t get it. I don’t understand it. But if both of you need this, I’ll try to understand. Although that doesn’t mean I agree to going to a club and doing any of this in public.”
She wasn’t under any illusion he was suddenly onboard with their needs, but he was trying.
“We need to get Keira inside and fed—and she will eat.” He shot her a stern look, and she barely refrained from squirming like a naughty schoolgirl.
She glanced up into Julian’s face. He was staring at Cole, his jaw firm, his body wound tightly.
“My keys are in my pocket. Will you grab them out?” Julian asked.
For a moment, all three of them were frozen. Then Cole seemed to regain his confidence. He stepped forward, pressing against her. She was the filling in a hunky-male sandwich. And it was like coming home. Their scents mingled, filled the air. Cole’s was slightly spicy. Deep and rich like an expensive red wine. Julian’s scent was earthier. Leather and forest. Both of them had her head spinning.
Was this really happening? Was Cole really coming inside? Was he going to watch Julian punish her? Or would he leave when things got too weird for him? She hated that he felt that way. Personally, she kind of thought he’d make an excellent Dom.
Julian sucked in a gasp and she guessed Cole was reaching into his pocket to get the keys. It seemed to be taking forever, and yet she wanted to savor every second. She never wanted this to stop. She’d never even looked at another man until they’d come to work for Cole. She and Julian had always been honest with each other. When Julian had brought up her interest in Cole, she’d been so ashamed.
Until he’d told her he felt that same pull. But no matter their feelings, they’d never thought anything would happen.
“Little bit, look at me.” She startled back into the present, staring up into Cole’s gray eyes. “Are you all right?”
Worry filled his face and her heart ached. She longed to wake up to that face every morning. A part of her had held some hope after he’d kissed them both after the Christmas party two months back.
But then he’d pulled back. Putting distance between them. It had hurt. So much. But after they’d given themselves some time, they’d decided that maybe they should try something new. Something they both desired but had never acted on. They knew Joel, so it made sense to go to his club. Training sessions had just shown Keira she was definitely submissive, and Julian had naturally fallen into his role.
Even if sometimes she felt like he was longing for something more.
“I’m all right,” she told him.
Both eyebrows rose and he gave her a skeptical look. “Lying isn’t allowed, little bit.”
“But calling someone depraved is?” she countered.
“I should never have said that. I’m sorry.”
“But you think that, right?”
Cole looked away guiltily. “I don’t believe it about the two of you. But there are certain aspects of that lifestyle that make me uncomfortable.”
Julian let out a deep breath. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Keira. This is completely up to you. You want him gone, he’s gone. No one is going to force you into anything.”
“Of course not,” Cole agreed smoothly. “I’d never want to hurt you, Keira.” He took a step back and it was like a stab to the gut. She immediately reached for him. This was what she wanted. The three of them.
“No, no, I want this. Please don’t go.”
The pleading in her voice was a little embarrassing. But Cole stepped closer again and he cupped the side of her face. “I really am sorry if my words hurt you, little bit. I didn’t mean to. I’d never want to do that.”
She knew his opinions mostly stemmed from ignorance. And possibly had something to do with his relationship with his brother. She just had to hope he was willing to learn from them. To listen. To try to understand.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“Then I’m coming in with the two of you?” He looked from her to Julian.
“Yes,” she said firmly.
“Open the door,” Julian added.
3
Julian watched Cole warily as he opened the front door to their shack. He was still smarting at the other man’s words and part of him wondered why the hell he was letting him inside.
Because he was attracted to him. Because Keira was attracted to him. Because there was just something about Cole—his power, his authority—that spoke to him. That tugged that part he’d buried deep, that desire to submit.
He drowned that thought as Cole held open the front door, glaring down at it for some reason.
“This lock wouldn’t keep a child out,” he muttered.
Julian stiffened, but decided not to reply. Th
e lock was perfectly decent. Stepping inside, he carried Keira straight down the hall and into the kitchen at the back. This house had two bedrooms and a bathroom at the front. The living room and kitchen/dining room were at the back.
As he walked through their tiny house, he saw it through Cole’s eyes. Shag pile carpet that should have been retired forty years ago. Stains on the ceiling from the leaking roof. Cracks in the walls. A strange smell that couldn’t be explained. And that was just the start of it. He walked into the tiny kitchen with its wooden cabinetry that someone had the great idea to paint a sickly green. He set Keira down at the tiny dining table they’d managed to fit in there. It only had three chairs as the fourth side of the table was pressed up against the wall.
Cole moved into the kitchen behind them. He looked around, dominating the space even though he was smaller than Julian.
“Have a seat,” Julian said gruffly.
Keira watched the other man with eyes filled with a mix of wariness and hope. He hoped to God this was the right decision. He didn’t want Keira hurt. And, yet, he couldn’t turn Cole away. Because what if they could make it work?
Julian crouched down in front of Keira and reached out, raising her chin so she had to look at him. “Want to tell me about this juice diet you’re on and how come I knew nothing about it?”
Guilt flooded her face. “I just wanted to lose a few pounds before we, uh, went to the, uh . . .” she trailed off, looking at Cole.
Julian firmed his face, sending the other man a warning look. But Cole was staring at Keira intently.
“To the club,” Julian finished for her.
“Yes.”
“How long?”
“Um, about a week?”
All right. That wasn’t so bad.
“Closer to three, I’d say,” Cole said, making Julian stiffen again. How had he not noticed over three weeks? But then he thought of all the times she’d told him she’d grab something to eat at work. And most of the time he couldn’t meet her for lunch because of their schedules. But they usually tried to have dinner together.
“I noticed a couple of weeks ago that all she was having for lunch was this disgusting looking green stuff. Every day.” Cole raised his eyebrows at her. She flushed guilty. “When I asked her, she told me she was on a special juice diet. You didn’t know about this?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“I told her I wanted to see her with a real lunch the next day.” He frowned. “She brought a chicken salad, but after that I don’t remember her being around at lunch.”
“I’m right here, you know,” Keira grumbled. “And I don’t need anyone to dictate what I eat.”
Julian shared a look with Cole. Seemed he’d gotten an ally in making certain Keira took care of herself. Or, even better, getting her to let them take care of her.
How good would that feel? To share this with Cole? Sometimes it felt like he needed eyes in the back of his head, and Cole would be there when he couldn’t be.
Getting ahead of yourself.
“And I don’t see what the big deal is, lots of people do juice diets every day without anyone making a fuss.”
“I don’t care about other people,” Julian growled at her. “I care about you.”
She bit her bottom lip, her guilt clear.
“And you kept this from me. Because you knew I wouldn’t approve. You snuck around behind my back.”
“It wasn’t like that,” she said, panicked. “It’s just, I knew if I lost some weight, I’d feel more confident about going into the club half-naked.”
“Keira, you are beautiful. You don’t need to lose weight.” Julian brushed her hair back from her face. “Okay?”
She shrugged. “I think I could stand to lose a few pounds.”
“Then we do it together,” he told her firmly. “A healthy way. Not by drinking juices and keeping things from each other.”
A tear dripped down her face. “I’m really sorry about that. I feel awful for not telling you.”
“We can’t lie to each other, Keira, you know that. Honesty always.” It really hurt that she’d kept it from him, but he knew her issues went deep.
She nodded. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Why did you lie to him?” Cole asked her.
She glanced away. “I knew he wouldn’t be happy.”
Julian sighed. His girl hated upsetting people. “Keira likes to try all the latest diets. Some of them aren’t healthy. I just want her to be happy and healthy.”
“I don’t know why you have such a skewed view of your appearance,” Cole told her. “You’re absolutely gorgeous. An hour-glass figure with curves in all the right places. Do you know how often I’ve had to hide how turned on I get around you? For a man who prides himself on his control and professionalism, getting turned on around you in those tight skirts has been more than a little embarrassing.”
Keira blushed, but Julian could see the happiness in her gaze. He felt a stab of gratitude towards the other man. Even though Keira’s beliefs ran deeper than a few words could heal, he knew it would help hearing it from Cole.
“I don’t want you to lose even one inch of those curves, understand me?” Cole said in a deep voice. “I get that there are things I don’t know. If you need some professional help, then you or Julian will tell me, and I’ll arrange it. But sneaking around and lying about what you’re doing when it affects your health is going to stop, understand me?”
They both gaped at him. Fuck. That tone of voice, it made him want to agree immediately and it wasn’t even aimed at him. Maybe . . . maybe Cole would take a dominant role. They didn’t have to go to a club if he didn’t like that. But he certainly acted enough like a Dom at times to make Julian think he might actually be one.
“Yes,” Keira whispered.
“You put your health at risk, Keira. Not just with the diet, but by hiding it.” Cole’s voice was a silky, dark rope tying the three of them together.
Keira reached over and grabbed his hand in her tiny, cold one. And Cole placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I know. I’m really sorry.”
Julian watched her steadily. “She’s already in trouble for putting herself down.”
“Is she? Hmm. I’m not happy about that.”
He watched Keira start to shut down. There were certain things that set her off. For the most part she was very open. But there were parts of herself she kept hidden from everyone but him. And Cole had just stepped on a trigger.
“He’s not unhappy with you, kitten,” he said to her. “He just knows how wonderful you are and wishes you knew it as well.”
“I messed up, didn’t I?” Her voice had a lost, little girl quality to it.
Cole’s eyebrows rose in surprise, and Julian sent him a sharp look. If he dared to say anything to hurt Keira, he’d fucking end him.
Okay, that had been more violent than might have been appropriate, but then he’d always been that way about Keira. She was everything. His very sanity.
“You didn’t—”
“Everyone messes up, little bit,” Cole interrupted him.
Would the fucker just let him handle this? Cole leaned forward and gave him a look this time. One that clearly said he’d fucked up and he needed to fix it.
Impatience bit at Julian and he stood, deciding he needed to get something for Keira to eat. He still didn’t like her color, although she seemed a lot steadier than she had outside. Christ, if anything happened to her . . .
“If you leave, it’s my fault, because I made you unhappy,” Keira said with that same small voice.
“I am not leaving. I’m right here. Everyone makes mistakes. I should know, I make more than most, but you’re giving me a chance, aren’t you? What you did makes me unhappy because I want you to see the real Keira. The Keira who is smart and kind and beautiful. Who deserves the world. And by saying bad things about yourself, you’re telling me you don’t see yourself like that. That you don’t see your worth. That makes me sad.”
“Really? You’re not leaving?” she asked, with such a note of hope that his heart nearly broke.
Fuck. Fuck.
He ought to have killed her fucking fuck of a father.
“Fucking bastard, motherfucker, ass-fucking-wipe—”
“Julian,” Cole said so sharply that Julian froze in the middle of whisking eggs in a bowl. “Enough swearing.”
Keira smiled, actually smiled, and his stomach unknotted. “He always swears.”
“Is that so?” Cole drawled, sitting back in his chair. “That’s not very good behavior, especially around you, now is it?”
Julian flushed slightly at the chiding note in his voice. He sent the other man a glare. If he thought he got to reprimand him he had another thought coming.
Cole just raised an eyebrow and watched him with consideration. Julian was just as Dominant as he was.
Well, maybe not.
“Come here, little bit.”
He turned from cooking the scrambled eggs to find Cole had Keira on his lap. She looked a little stiff and unsure and turned her gaze to his, as though seeking his reassurance. He gave her a soft smile.
“Can you breathe okay in that corset?” Cole asked with concern. “Maybe we should get you something else to wear?”
“I’m all right,” Keira replied.
Cole shot Julian a look, and he quickly walked out and into their bedroom, grabbing one of his old T-shirts, which is what she usually slept in. He returned with it and she blushed a little in embarrassment but left the room to slip into it.
Silence filled the room as he returned to making her some dinner. He buttered the toast he’d put in the toaster then arranged the scrambled eggs on top with salt and pepper.
Keira returned to the room, and Cole drew her back onto his lap. Julian checked his reaction to that. It felt a little odd to see her on another man’s lap. Yet, at the same time this was Cole, so it felt right too.
Grabbing cutlery, he carried the plate of food over to the table and sat, putting the plate on the table. He went to hand the cutlery to Keira, but Cole shook his head.
“You should feed her,” Cole told him. “Make sure she eats every bite. She’s going to need her strength for later.”
Cole's Mistake (Haven, Texas Book 8) Page 4