by Judi Calhoun
Morning sunshine streamed in through white floral lilac curtains. Not my curtains. I sat up, feeling my brain spin one full revolution. I let my head slip to one side, believing it must weigh a ton. I clutched at my throat. It was raw, feeling like I had just swallowed a steel spiked wrecking ball. I desperately needed a drink.
My blurry eyes traveled over the purple walls, band posters, and white modern furniture. Then I knew where I was.
“Hey,” said Gabby, “You okay?” Her hair was piled up on her head with a large blue clip. She wore soft blue pajama pants and white Ugg boots that matched her tee shirt. She dropped down on the edge of the bed. Of course, I was in her bedroom. My memory slowly returned, but too many important pieces were still missing.
“What happened last night?” asked Gabby. “You were really drunk.”
More like drugged. I was disturbed by my desire for more of the drug. What is wrong with me? It had to be very addictive to have this kind of effect on me.
Gabby looked at me with that mischievous grin on her face, analyzing my misconduct with playful amusement. “Soooo…you and Rick huh? Shocker! Who knew?”
“He gave me a ride, that’s all.” I think.
“Puh-lease!” Gabby eyes slid sideways
“It’s the truth.” I hated it when she suspected the worst.
“When I went to answer the door and saw you in his arms, I thought you were dying,” she said, “not drunk. You never do anything like this...ever.”
My trembling fingers grabbed her arm. “What did I say? Did I do anything stupid?”
“You can’t remember?” She giggled. “This is going to be fun.”
“Come-on Gabby, I’m serious. Tell me everything?”
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “You said some funny things. What did you drink, anyway?”
“Tea,” I said truthfully.
“Tea? Spiked with…?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I wish I did.”
“Steel kept saying, ‘Sorry.’ What’s up with that? Is he afraid of what Jake might do to him when he finds out he gave you drugs?”
My heartbeat spiked suddenly. “How is he going to find out?” I asked.
“Exactly,” said Gabby, vaguely shaking her head, smiling, pretending to lock her mouth and throw away the key.
“What else did Rick say?”
She thought for a moment. “Um...oh yeah, he said he was going away and that he’d leave a message for you. And, I am to tell you not to take any long walks by yourself at night. Oh yeah, I almost forgot,” she added, brightly. “Your mom called last night, right after you got here. Relax. You are so lucky I am your best friend. I told her you’d been here a while and you were sleeping.”
That reminded me of the fight we had, and my chest pain returned with a vengeance. “I need to go home,” I said.
“Uh, sure. I can drive you,” she offered.
What a relief not to have to walk six blocks, especially with the shape my body was in. When I got home, the house was empty, no note, no cousins, and no mom. I phoned the real estate office and spoke with her partner, Rick Azeri. He told me mom was with Aunt Linda, and promised to give her my message.
My head was still floating even after taking a hot shower and eating some cold cereal. I startled when the doorbell rang.
“Don’t you ever answer your cell?” asked Jake. The moment I opened the door he followed me back to my green chair and bowl of cereal in the living room. “I called and sent you texts. Your mom said you had had a fight. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” I said, trying to remember where I had left my phone.
“What happened?”
I stood up and nervously started pacing. “Mom didn’t buy it.” The words just tumbled out of me like a waterfall. “Everything went horribly wrong. This has to be the worst night of my life. She would not believe me, Jake ...even after I showed her Ian’s photo. How can she be so blind? I even told her about my dreams, seeing Ian commit murder. I can’t understand how...ah…gullible she is. You know what she said? She said it was the result of some kind of medical condition, due to stress. I was so mad. I ran, Jake. I ran out of the house. Ugh! A stupid, stupid, stupid fight, that stupid dark street, stupid Rick Steel, stupid drugs messed up my head…” Immediately, I realized I had gone too far. I had said too much.
“Rick Steel? You went with him last night instead of calling me?”
I was instantly nervous at the sudden intensity of Jake’s anger. His eyes narrowed. I had never seen him look this way, as if he wanted to kill, me…Rick.
“Um...yeah- he picked me up on his bike. I didn’t call you cause you had a game. Look Jake, it’s not what you think. Rick just happened to show up, that’s all. I wasn’t enjoying myself, if that’s what you think, unless you consider being drugged and dropped off at Gabby's front door a fun night.”
“No, you didn’t just say that.” He shook his head. “Steel gave you drugs?”
I glanced down at the carpet. “Yes.”
He walked away, and then turned, his eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong with you Shonna? You do not know anything about this guy. You could have been killed. I warned you, didn’t I? And you just go off with him…”
“He’s not as bad as you think.”
“You’re defending the guy who could have killed you last night?”
“He wouldn’t hurt me… not intentionally.”
“How can you be so sure?” he asked.
It was a good question, a valid question. I had a good answer. My mouth started to say what my heart knew I should confess, because I wanted to purge myself of all the mistakes I had made, to be free from this weight of guilt on my shoulders. “We went out… once.”
“What? You had a date with that…creep?” said Jake.
“Yes, but it wasn’t my idea.”
“Yeah, so? You did not have to go along with it, did you? And when were you going to tell me about this?”
“I…”
“Don’t bother explaining. I get it.” He stormed out.
The front door slammed and darkness swallowed me up. The tears came hot, racing down my cheek. I sank to my knees, the world around me dissolving in a blur of endless pain, and I deserved every bit of it. Everything he said was true. I had gone along with it, maybe even encouraged it, ultimately manifesting some hidden desire to be with Rick Steel.
The hurt look on Jake’s face filled me with physical pain, crushing me. I had lost Jake. I had lost control of my life again. Worst of all, nothing had changed. I was no closer to ending Ian’s life and he was still with mom. Oh mom, where are you? It came thundering back to me, the fight… the angry words. How could I have lost my head and said those horrid things?
Yesher! Help!
The realization came to me, as radiant as a beam of light flooding my gloomy soul. Now I understood what Ariel meant by letting go. I had to forgive my dad for leaving. I’d heard it over and over again, Let go. It wasn’t that easy. Sure, say some words, but what do they really mean if I don’t actually feel them or believe them? The knife slipped a little deeper into the hole in my heart.
I waited all day, but mom never returned home. Most likely she’d turned off her cell…punishing me, so I stopped calling and texting.
The empty house grew cold now that the sky had plunged into a pearly gray, moving swiftly toward the inevitable early nightfall and shortness of winter days. I grew increasingly exhausted and tired of pacing the floor waiting for her. It was a fitting end to the horrible events of the past twenty-four hours. I dragged myself upstairs and listened for the front door to open. I climbed under the covers and grabbed a book from the nightstand. I cozied myself in the warmth of my blankets. My eyelids grew heavy with sleep. Do not close your eyes, I warned myself. Stay awake!
Finally, I heard mom in the kitchen having an argument with Ian. I must have dozed off. I hadn’t heard them come in. I got out of bed and opened the door so I could eavesdrop. Instantly, I found myself standing in
front of the stove. How did I get here so fast?
“I think I know my own daughter better than you do,” said mom, standing by the kitchen table, and her voice on the verge of tears. “Shonna would never lie to me.”
“You believe whatever you like,” snapped Ian, leaning confidently against the kitchen counter, his arms folded in front of him. “She plays you for a fool.”
I did not care what Ian said about me. I moved toward mom, desperate to apologize, because it was eating me up inside. “Mom, I’m so sorry for how I acted and what I said.” She didn’t even look at me, somehow I’d become invisible.
“You are right, Ian. I am such a fool,” she said. “I don’t know why I didn’t I see it before. Shonna tried to warn me, more than once. I thought she was just upset thinking I was trying to replace her father with you.”
“Listen, sweetheart, you’ve got to know the truth. That kid of yours is a real problem. When she’s away from her mommy, she is not the perfect angel you think she is. You wouldn't believe the things she’s done, but together you and I can do something about her.” He leaned forward, placing his hands on the counter. “We can put her in reform school. They always help young people find their way. They would help her. Trust me. Let me work it all out. You wouldn’t have to do a thing.”
“Don’t trust him. For crying out loud, mom, look at me! Please just tell me you forgive me. I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll be your Maid of Honor, I promise.” I touched her arm. “Mom, you’re trembling.” Her face scrunched up, frowning as her eyes traveled slowly down to my fingers that were holding her elbow.
“I’ll tell you this right now,” said Ian, “If it weren’t for our relationship, I would have…”
“What?” Mom snapped, her eyes blazing at Ian.
“Never mind. Terry, can’t you see? She is making our life together miserable? We wouldn’t even be fighting right now if it weren’t for her.”
“Ian, Shonna hasn’t done anything wrong, but I think you have. Can you please explain something to me? She showed me a photo of you; only your real name isn’t Ian Corbet, is it? You want to tell me who you really are, Mr. Binco?”
Ian gave a sideways smirk and nodded. “Now why should I bother doing that?” His voice became monotone, lifeless, as the demon inside him took over. “I’d love to say it’s been fun Terry,” He drew himself up tall, his eyes scanning the block of knives. “The truth is, I find killing pathetic humans a lot more entertaining than playing these useless games.” His chin jutted out and He gave mom a knowing grin. “Every time I got close to you, all I wanted to do was rip out your eyes, tear you into little pieces, and watch your lifeblood drain out while you struggled to breathe your last breath.”
Mom gasped. Her hand shot up to her mouth.
“You see, Terry, my plan was to kill you both in front of all our guests, right after we said our vows. That’s really more my style. Sure, I could kill you in private, I’ve done it before and I can do it again, like right now for instance, but don’t you agree that it would be much more dramatic with a large audience.”
“You’re insane,” said mom.
“Not completely,” said Ian smiling, moving closer to the knives. “You know, Terry, you really should believe your daughter when she warns you about someone like me. Thanks to you, Shonna didn’t try to kill me that first night.” He half chuckled. “It was a brilliant idea. Now there will be a slight change. Not a problem really and truthfully, this will work out even better, for me.”
“Please don’t hurt Shonna!” begged mom.
“Oh, how touching,” said Ian, with a condescending grin, “Your darling daughter. Come on, Terry. Are you really that naive?” He began to pull each knife from the block, laying them out side by side and studying them as he spoke. “You have no idea what I’m capable of doing, do you? For over two thousand years, I have worn the flesh of spineless, pathetic mortals. I have slaughtered nations, entombed world leaders, assassinated presidents. I am a skilled murderer. That’s who I am. That’s what I do.”
Mom’s face turned ashen, white with horror. Ian gave a snigger. I ignored Ian and he seemed to ignore me. I yanked on mom’s arm, intent on pulling her away, but she just would not budge. Why?
Ian chose the knife with the longest blade and tested its sharpness on the kitchen towel, which fell in two pieces on the floor.
I tried to shift into my armor, come on, come on, come on! I glanced down at my pajamas. Something is wrong. Why can’t I shift? Terror filled me. I cannot save her. She just stood frozen, tense, her eyes did not blink, and her gaze never left Ian.
I screamed at her, “RUN, MOM, RUN!”
She must have heard me because she started toward the front door. Unexpectedly, she stopped when we got into the hallway and glanced upstairs toward my bedroom.
“You can’t outrun me, Terry. I am spirit; you’re just a human. If I want you dead, it won’t take me long.”
“Oh God, please mom, listen to me! “Get out NOW!” Again, I pulled at her arm to drag her toward the front door, but she froze looking up the stairs as if she had left something valuable in my bedroom.
“Mom, he’ll kill you. I need you to run away. Find Aunt Linda!”
She slowly picked up her keys. Ian stepped into the hallway. She drew back from him, turned and bolted, but only made it to the door.
Ian was instantly in front of her, blocking her escape.
She turned to run the other way, he caught her arm, yanking her around to face him. He cursed, grunted and backhanded her across the face twice. She cried out in pain. I moved in between them trying to hit him, trying to stop him.
He raised the knife.
I reached for the hilt.
The knife came down.
Ian stabbed.
Blood.
Mom screamed.
The scene dissolved before my eyes.
* * *
Chapter 23