by Cindi Madsen
I arched into him and shockwaves shot through my core. He moaned and slid his hands up my shirt. His fingers brushed the bottom of my bra. One more inch and this was happening—I’d never be able to stop.
Shit, shit, shit!
I pressed my hand to his chest, pushing him back. “I think…I think we better slow down.” Closing my eyes, I blew out my breath. My rules about sex had been in place long before I typed up my case studies. I only crossed that line when I was sure I was ready for the next step, and I didn’t plan on breaking that for anyone.
I opened my eyes, bracing for the anger or for him telling me I was a tease or worse—I’d gotten it before. When it came to sex, women were called a prude, a tease, or a slut. No in between and nothing flattering. No good job, you’ve waited the perfect amount of time and had the exact right number of partners.
Jake leaned his forehead on my shoulder and I could feel his breath coming in and out against my skin.
“Sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”
“I just…need a minute.” He took a couple more deep breaths, lifted his head, and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, then slowly sat back up, pulling me with him.
I straightened my shirt, unable to look at him.
He cupped my chin and gently turned my face toward his. “I’ll wait.”
For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why he would. No doubt he’d be able to find another woman willing to go all the way. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to just say screw it, do my best to not think about what would happen afterward, and finish what we started. But I couldn’t. It wasn’t me, and I still wasn’t willing to put my heart out there that much quite yet. “I just can’t… Not until…”
“I’ll wait,” he repeated.
Tina’s words ran though my head again: If you really don’t think there’s something there, you shouldn’t waste any more of his time.
There’s definitely something, I thought. But I’m not sure if it’s enough. Or if I can really do this to myself again. I leaned into his chest and inhaled his familiar musky and woodsy-smelling cologne. Time to put him to the real test.
“I was wondering…” I almost chickened out. But then I thought about how close I’d been to ignoring my rules a moment ago and charged on with it. “My stepdad’s birthday is on Sunday, so I’m going to Longmont.” I glanced up, looking into his eyes. “I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”
A smile spread across his face, sending a pang of guilt through my gut. “Really? You want me to meet your family.”
Is it too late to take it back?
“You don’t have to. The ranch is kind of in the middle of nowhere. I’ve just got to drive over and—”
“I’ll go.”
The guilt running through me deepened as I stared at him.
He doesn’t stand a chance.
Chapter Twenty-seven
As the city fell away to a whole lot of nothing, I glanced at Jake. He’d asked several questions about my family during the drive, and I’d filled him in on the basics. After all the effort he’d put into learning the names and history of my family, I decided I should let him know what he was in for.
“My brothers usually give my…” Boyfriend still wouldn’t roll off my tongue. “They like to give everyone who comes home with me a bad time. You don’t have to try to impress them. They might call you a city boy or whatever, but that’s just the way they are. They have a strange sense of humor. If they ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, just say no.”
Jake grinned. “That’s so sweet. Darby Quinn’s worried about me meeting her family. It almost seems like you care about me.”
My phone rang, saving me from coming up with something to say to that. When I saw it was my mom, I answered.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Mom said. “I wanted to make garlic toast to go with dinner, but I forgot the French bread. I’m in the middle of frosting the cake and I was hoping you could swing into Johnson’s Market and pick it up for me.”
“No problem. One loaf or two?”
“Two. And could you get some more Mountain Dew? I think we’re low. Oh, and another gallon of vanilla ice cream, because I thought we had some, but I think the guys got into it earlier this week.”
I hit my blinker and turned into the grocery store parking lot. “I’m at Johnson’s now, so we’ll get the stuff and be there soon.” I hung up and glanced at Jake. “My mom needs a few things from the store. Looks like you get the whole small-town treatment.”
We got out of the car and walked across the parking lot. I dislodged a cart from the others and pushed it toward the bakery section. The grocery store near my condo was always rearranging everything, making it impossible to find something you knew had been there last time. Johnson’s Market—which had been operating since basically the dawn of time—always had everything in the same place. I grabbed two loaves of bread, then headed over to the soda aisle.
Jake lifted a case of Mountain Dew.
“Better get two. Actually, make it three. They go through a lot.” I left the cart by him and stepped around a display to find the oatmeal-chocolate-chip cookies Dwight loved.
“Darby Wilson!” a voice shrieked at an octave so high, I expected dogs to come running. “Is that you?”
Tabitha Newton, the witch who made my high school experience hell, stood in the aisle. I fought the urge to turn and run. She’d stuck with “The Rachel” haircut, so she looked about the same as she did in high school. A little outdated, but still pretty.
I forced the corners of my mouth into a smile. “Hi, Tabitha. How are you?”
She stepped forward and hugged me like we were the best of friends instead of torturer and torturee. “I’m just so good. I’ve got this little angel.” She gestured to the chubby toddler sitting in her cart. A sucker stick poked out of his mouth, a stream of red drool coated his chin. “Sherman and I also have a little girl in first grade now, can you believe it? I mean, where does the time go? We’ve been married for ten years and it’s been such a wonderful adventure.”
“That’s… Wow.” I turned back, ready to introduce Jake, but didn’t get the words out before Sherman came around the aisle and tossed two boxes of cereal into the cart.
“Look who it is,” Tabitha said, pointing at me.
Sherman’s eyebrows drew together. He stared at me for what seemed like forever, then recognition flashed across his features. “Darby. Hey. I thought you and Gil lived in California.”
“Darby didn’t marry Gil.” Tabitha rolled her eyes. “He never remembers anything.”
Including who his wife is, if the rumors about him cheating are true.
Tabitha placed a hand on his shoulder and spoke slowly. “Gil married some other girl. Darby’s not married yet.” She turned to me, a big grin on her face. “I’m sure there’s someone out there for you, don’t you worry.”
Desperate to get her to shut up, I clamped onto Jake’s arm and pulled him forward. “This is Jake. Jake, this is Tabitha and Sherman. We went to high school together.” It was awful.
Jake draped his arm over my shoulders and gave Tabitha and Sherman a polite smile. “Nice to meet you.”
The toddler started making this whine/moan noise while pawing at Tabitha. I know as a woman I’m supposed to have this innate love of babies, but the truth is, they kind of remind me of zombies. They stumble around, arms out, moaning. And if they get ahold of you, they suck the energy out of you.
I wrapped my arm around Jake’s waist, keeping my fake smile plastered on my face. “We better get going. It’s Dwight’s birthday, so they’re expecting us at the ranch.”
The kid’s moaning grew louder. Sherman turned away from it and studied the cookies, while Tabitha took her son out of the car and stuck him on her hip. “Well, tell your family I say hello. It’s so nice to see you.”
There’s that saying about if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. I had to say something, though, so
I went with, “I will. You guys have a good day.”
…
“I thought your last name was Quinn,” Jake said as we put the groceries into the trunk of my car.
“Since I lived with the Wilsons, people forget my real last name. Or maybe they don’t even remember I’m not one. Who knows?” I slammed my trunk down and we got into the car.
“For friends, you didn’t seem that happy to see them,” Jake said.
“You caught that?” I started the car and turned down the radio.
“I’m not sure if that dude even knew where he was.”
“Yeah, that’s my ex-boyfriend. Real gem of a guy. Our relationship ended when I caught him with his tongue down Tabitha’s throat. They did end up getting married, so I guess you could say it was meant to be. But from what I hear, he’s not exactly faithful to her, either. I suppose she did me a favor, really.”
I put my car into drive and pulled onto the road. “I think she wanted to show me how happy she was to save face. I actually feel a little bad for her, even though she went out of her way to be awful to me in high school. Seriously, if it weren’t for my brothers and their friends, I never would’ve survived. Luckily, before the guys graduated and left me, Steph showed up. Which is why I owe her. Enough to help her plan her dream wedding.” I glanced at Jake. “Sorry. Guess that just drudged up some old drama.”
He put his hand on my thigh. “No worries. I got you now, babe.”
Warmth filled me, that peace and security I got around Jake—especially when he said things like that—and then I was rethinking this plan all over again.
Better to find out now than when I truly can’t pull away, right? Before there’s talk of the future and houses and kids and things that made my blood pressure rise, even when they were only hypothetical.
Five miles later, we pulled off the main road. The change in my ashtray clanged together as we drove down the bumpy dirt road leading to the ranch. I slowed to a stop in front of the house and waited for the cloud of dirt around us to settle before getting out.
“So, here we are.” I exited the car and took a deep breath of dust-and manure-tinged air.
Ah. Smells like home.
On the way to the trunk to grab the groceries, a mew caught my attention. “Hi, Swampthing.” I squatted down and ran my hand down the cat’s back. She had long multicolored hair that was matted in places, sticking straight up in others. Even her purr sounded rattley. Which was why Drew had named her Swampthing.
Mom and Dwight came out of the house to greet us. “Hello,” Mom said to Jake, positively beaming at him. I’d been blunt about my relationship stance, but I could tell by the way she looked at Jake that she hoped I’d changed my mind.
I introduced everyone, and Dwight gave Jake a firm handshake.
Mom was a hugger, so she went for one. “It’s so nice to meet you.” She turned and threw her arms around me. I was several inches taller, even without my heels, so I had to hunch over.
“We’d better get the ice cream in.” I used my keychain to pop the trunk and everyone pitched in to take the groceries into the house.
Drew and Devin walked into the kitchen as we were putting the last of the food away.
“Hey,” Drew said to me, then turned to Jake, hand extended. “I’m… Have we met? You look kind of familiar.”
Jake shook Drew’s hand. “I live in Darby’s building. I ran into you two in the elevator one night.”
Drew furrowed his brow. “I guess Darby forgot to introduce us. She thinks I’m embarrassing.”
“You were telling the story about how I slapped Ralph at Devin and Anne’s wedding. You are embarrassing.” I pointed to Drew. “This is Drew, and that’s Devin. Guys, this is Jake.”
Jake looked from Devin to Drew. “It might take me a little while to get names straight.” I never thought they looked that much alike. Not like most twins I’d seen.
Drew gave Jake a firm pat on the back. “Let us show you around, Jake. We’ll leave Darby here to do girl stuff.”
I shot Drew a dirty look. “If you don’t watch it, I’m going to pop you one, then we’ll see who’s crying like a girl.”
“Which reminds me,” Drew said as he and Devin led Jake out of the room, “we do have the footage of Darby slapping that guy if you want to see it later.”
They insisted on doing the tour—the tour they gave to all “city boys”—alone. The few times my brothers and I had fought about it, my boyfriend at the time always insisted he’d be fine without me there. So I’d stopped fighting. I probably should’ve done a better job warning Jake what he was in for, but then again, I might as well see if he could handle it now. Then I wouldn’t have a big what-if hanging over me.
Mom pulled vegetables out of the fridge and placed them on the counter. I sat on a stool opposite her. “Need help?”
Mom slid the cutting board, carrots, tomatoes, and lettuce toward me. “You can make the salad.”
Noticing how quiet the house was, I asked, “Where are Anne and the kids?”
“They’ll be up in a few. Ava was napping and Anne didn’t want to wake her. Devin was excited to come down and show Jake around, though.” Mom glanced out the window. “I hope they’re nice to him. He seems like a good guy.”
“Don’t they all in the beginning.” I headed to the sink to wash my hands.
“I worry about you, sweetheart. You used to be all about love and romance. Somewhere along the way you got so down on it, and I don’t want you to live like that. Finding someone you love is really great.”
I dried my hands on a dishtowel. “I’m glad you have Dwight. But didn’t you feel that way at first about Dad, too?”
Mom sighed. “Your father and I, we were young, and I didn’t realize how much work marriage takes. I can look back now and see all the mistakes I made, but hindsight is always twenty-twenty.”
I grabbed the lettuce and knife and sat back down.
“With Dwight, I got married knowing it wasn’t going to be easy,” Mom said. “Sometimes I’m so mad at him I can’t even talk to him. And sometimes, I know that no one else in the world will understand me like he does. It’s a nice thing to have.” Mom sprinkled seasoning over the steaks and put them in the fridge. “Now if you ask me, you’ve got a perfectly nice man who’s crazy about you.” She raised her eyebrows. “Trust me. Moms can sense that thing. I think you should give him a chance.”
I ran the knife through the lettuce. “I am giving him a chance. That’s why I brought him here. Since fairy tales aren’t realistic, I’ve decided to revert back to gladiator times. If he survives the arena—a.k.a. Drew and Devin’s tour of the ranch—then I’ll know he’s worth taking a risk on.” Using the knife, I scraped the lettuce into the salad bowl. “I have a feeling, though, that things will go downhill after this.”
Mom shook her head. “That’s not really giving him a chance.”
“It is when you don’t believe in chances.”
…
The boys’ signature tour usually lasted about forty-five minutes to an hour, depending on how upset my boyfriends got after the first few challenges. Drew and Devin took the guys into the bull pen with Tiny, rode around the ranch on horseback, and tested their lassoing skills.
At the hour and a half mark, I started to get anxious. My foot took on a life of its own, tapping and shaking. When I couldn’t sit still any longer, I paced the floor.
It didn’t help that Ava had been crying since Anne had arrived with her and Levi. The screaming seemed to make time stand still. Finally, when the crying reached the I’m-so-mad-I’m-not-breathing-anymore, Mom brought Ava outside.
“What’s taking them so long?” Anne asked, glancing out front again.
I realized, sitting here trying to think of something to say to Anne, that I didn’t really know her all that well. She’d been in the family for years, but we’d rarely been left one-on-one. I sat on the loveseat across from her. “I know. If they don’t get back soon, I’m going to hunt the
m down.”
Anne’s lips thinned and the crease in her forehead deepened. “Devin always leaves me here with the kids while he gets to go out and have fun. If it wasn’t for Janet’s help, I think I would’ve lost my mind already. Sometimes it seems like I have three kids to take care of.”
I always wanted to stick up for Devin when she complained about him. But I could tell she was stressed and knew she only wanted to vent, so I didn’t say anything. From what I’d seen, raising two kids wasn’t easy.
I’d sometimes wondered if I could’ve made it work with Robert—if I hadn’t been too brash in calling things off. Seeing the stress having kids put on Devin and Anne, though, I knew I’d chosen right. Robert and I would’ve never been strong enough to make it. Not on top of the other issues we had.
I wonder if he ever found someone to have all his kids.
I heard guys’ voices and shot out of my chair. Devin, Drew, and Jake walked in, all dirtier than when they left.
“You’ll never guess what happened,” Devin said, his eyes lit up with excitement.
“Jake rode Major,” Drew said before anyone had the chance to guess.
“What?” I looked from Drew to Devin. “You let him ride Major?”
Devin shrugged. “We didn’t think he’d get the saddle on. It was supposed to be funny. The joke was on us because he not only got the saddle on, but he rode him. Without getting bucked off.”
I scowled at my brothers. “You guys could’ve hurt him.”
Jake put his hand on my back, then leaned down and kissed my cheek. “It was fun. I haven’t been on a horse in a long time.”
Dwight and Mom, who was still holding Ava, came in from the backyard. Steam and the scent of cooked meat rose off the platter Dwight was holding. “Steaks are done. Let’s eat.”
A few minutes later, everyone was sitting around the table, their plates filled with food. Ava didn’t want to be put down, so Devin had her on his lap.
Dwight stabbed his steak and sawed at a corner with his knife. “Dang, my arm’s still sore. I swear, that heifer was already late as it is, then the second she starts giving birth, she’s running around, calf halfway out, acting like a chicken with her head cut off.”