“Why not?”
“Because”—I held my breath as I waited for her answer—“I don’t want to be like you.”
Twenty-One
Verity
Cassius was back.
He was my weakness and he had returned. I couldn’t stay away from him, even though he was the embodiment of everything I hated and wished to avoid.
As soon as he’d entered the infirmary, it seemed like the temperature of the room dropped, and my body went cold. The shock I’d gotten from killing that man hadn’t left me. After the test, guilt had taken control of my body, and I’d momentarily lost the ability to think. My mental strength should be greater than this, but maybe it hadn’t been trained enough. Grey went through the test without flinching at all, taking it in stride. But I quivered like a baby. I had to get over myself.
I couldn’t bring myself to be that heartless.
Was that me being weak?
“Ver,” Cassius said. He palmed my cheek and forced me to turn to him. “Look at me.”
“No,” I replied. I couldn’t. Because once I did, I’d be shattered and would lose control of myself. I had to hold on to the hatred I felt. I’d used it as my anchor ever since Gran died, and without it, I wasn’t sure what to think or feel or be anymore.
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because… I don’t want to be like you.”
But what was Cassius, really? He confused me so much. I hated and loved and needed him. One part of me wanted to give in to my feelings for him. Let him take me and sweep me up in the storm that he was.
Still, I needed his heart.
Get yourself together, Verity.
“Look at me,” Cassius repeated, sterner this time. I shut my eyes, attempting to shut Cassius out. He growled, and when I spent too long avoiding him, he reached for my face and forced it in his direction. My breathing stilled when I met his red eyes. A plethora of emotions danced across his face. Anger. Contempt. Hurt.
And concern?
Cassius looked like he cared for me, going against everything I thought about vampires again.
Why couldn’t he just be as vicious as the rest of them? Why did he have to keep testing me so by going against everything I stood for? The frustration made me want to kiss and punch him at the same time.
“I’m sorry about whatever they made you do,” Cassius said. “I wouldn’t have allowed it if I were around.”
“Did you know?” I asked.
“About?”
“What they were going to make the students do. Killing the blood slaves.”
Cassius paused. “Yes. I approved the curriculum last month, before you arrived.” Cassius grabbed my hand. “I didn’t think much of it, and—”
I snatched my hand away. “You didn’t care about the innocents.”
Cassius sighed. He reached for me again, and Grey stepped in. “Hey,” he said. “She doesn’t want to be touched.”
Cassius’s expression changed immediately once Grey stood up to him. His eyes turned darker, his posture more aggressive. Cassius turned to Grey. “I’m trying to have a conversation with Verity, and you’re interrupting.”
“Verity doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Are you trying to tell me what to do?”
A lump stuck in my throat, and for a second there, I worried for Grey’s life.
Grey folded his arms across his chest, not backing down despite being confronted by a fullblood vampire. I admired his guts. Nevertheless, it did seem somewhat foolish. “I’m protecting Verity from harassment.”
“Harassment, huh?” Cassius said, his mouth turning up in a half-sneer. A low growl, almost inaudible, rumbled from his chest. “Is it harassment if I’m talking to what’s mine?”
“Yours?” Grey asked. “You don’t own her. She’s not something to be—”
“Grey,” I said. I placed a hand on his chest. When I touched him, I noticed Cassius tense even more. I could almost sense his need to rip me away from Grey. “It’s all right.”
Grey unfolded his arms and gave me a quizzical look. “Just give me the word, Ver, and I’ll knock this assho—”
“Stop.”
His face reddened.
“It’s fine. I need to talk to Cassius anyway.” I really didn’t want to, but I also didn’t want Cassius to tear Grey to shreds. “If you could just leave us, I’d really appreciate it.”
Grey darted his attention between Cassius and me. A long moment of silence followed, with Grey looking like he might lash out at any moment. I heard ringing in my ears as the two men had a staring match.
“Fine,” Grey said. He grabbed his backpack and swung it over his shoulders. “I’ll head to the next class, but you’ve got my number if you need anything.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Thanks for accompanying me.”
“Feel better, okay?” Grey then did the unexpected: he bent down and placed a kiss on my forehead. I stiffened.
Cassius snarled, baring his fangs at Grey. “Back off.”
Grey rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you around, and please, don’t get eaten.” He strode away. Cassius eyed his back with his fangs extended until the infirmary’s door shut behind Grey. I held on to Cassius’s forearm tightly, hoping that might stop him from lunging at Grey.
“What’s with him and you?” Cassius asked.
“He says he sees me as his sister,” I replied.
“His sister.” Cassius ground his teeth together. “I doubt that.”
“Don’t worry about him.”
“Do I have reason to?”
“None at all.” I shook my head. “Never had a thing for him, even though he likes getting in my space.” Grey was awfully helpful, though. I was thankful for that. “He’s kind of weird, that’s all.” I wondered if Cassius could hear the trepidation in my shaking voice. I feared not for myself, but Grey.
Cassius turned back to me. His pupils flashed. “You’re afraid of me.”
I swallowed. “What else would you expect?” I asked. “You’re one of them. A creature of the night.”
“I am not one of the lowbloods.”
“That test—”
“Was an oversight.”
“You let it happen! Students… kids… They were made to kill. Murder.”
“They were blood slaves.”
“Human lives.”
“Verity, listen to me—”
“I know what I saw, and it was horrible. You’re a beast. A monster.”
“I try to make the best of things.”
“Do you?”
“It’s not easy having the amount of responsibility I do. Please—”
“Shut up!”
I breathed hard, chest rising and falling as I glared at Cassius.
“I’m sorry about what happened to you. My father insisted on having that test on the curriculum.”
“And you agreed?”
“I was too tired to argue.”
“And you let it happen for how long?”
“Long enough. I’ll take another look at the curriculum later tonight. Forgive me, Ver. I regret my mistake.” Cassius tried to soothe me by running his hand down my forearm. The next minute ticked by in silence. Breaking it, Cassius asked, “Why do you hate us so much? Is it Hannah?”
Gran’s dead body flashed through my memory. “And more.”
“You’re still comparing me to the lowbloods.”
“Aren’t you all vampires? The same species. And your approval of that test just proves to me how monstrous you can be. You might have a heightened sense of awareness, but you’re just as heartless, aren’t you?”
Cassius stiffened. “Heartless.” He blew a sigh from his nostrils, shoulders dropping. “Maybe you’re right. I wasn’t always like this.”
I was stunned at his admission. “What changed?”
Cassius’s hold over my forearm tightened. “I’m not ready to share that yet.”
Yet. Which meant that he was willing to open up in the future. Why me? W
hy did he want to share things with me?
I wasn’t sure what possessed me, but suddenly, I wanted to tell him about Gran. I couldn’t keep my stupid mouth shut, and without thinking, I began blurting out my past. “My gran was killed by a lowblood.” I hesitated for a second. Should I really be telling Cassius about this? Did he even want to hear it? “It was my birthday, too. She’d prepared a big breakfast for me. A huge table of my favorite foods. Pancakes. Cheerios. You know, the stuff humans eat. Not that you would know.”
“Are you discriminating against my food choices now?” he asked, showing slight amusement.
“You only have blood. Do you even have a choice?”
“There are different kinds. A-negative. B-positive.”
“What’s your favorite?” Was I actually joking around with Cassius after what just happened? Him and his stupid, beautiful face.
Cassius raked his eyes over me, giving me my answer.
Heat crept to my cheeks. “Right,” I replied, fisting my hands over my blanket.
“Tell me more,” Cassius said, leaning in attentively. “About your grandmother. What was she like?”
“Gran?” I tried to relax. “She was…” I racked my brain, searching for the right adjective. I wasn’t sure how to describe someone who’d had so much impact on my life. “Amazing. That’s the word. She had three children, my mom included, and she raised them all on her own while trying to live her life the best she could. She’d always wanted to go to university, and she got her bachelor’s when she was fifty-five.” I was in awe every time I thought about Gran. She was the strongest woman I’d ever met, and growing up, I wanted to be just like her. “She traveled around the world once her kids grew up. Took a lot of trips everywhere. Despite that, she was always there for me, listening to my troubles at school. My issues with my parents. The stupid, insignificant boy problems I had, just like every other teenager.”
Cassius raised a brow when I mentioned boy problems. He remained silent, however, letting me continue.
“She never gave up,” I said.
“Is that where you got your fire?” Cassius said.
“Fire?”
“It’s something I admire in you.” He took my hand and brushed his lips across the back of it.
I avoided the intensity of his gaze. “I don’t know, really. Maybe.”
“And a vampire took her.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” That was one of my biggest regrets. I tried shaking away the image of Gran’s dead corpse. I still got nightmares about it sometimes. “I took Gran for granted in the end. Only after she was gone did I realize my mistake. And so I loved Hannah with all my heart. And what happened to her…”
Cassius watched me with an unreadable expression on his chiseled face. My fingers shaking, I reached up and ran my hand through his long, silky white locks. He continued brushing my forearm with his thumb, providing me a soothing sensation I hadn’t felt in a long time. “What are you thinking?” I said, trying to see through him.
He breathed out softly. “I’m sorry you had to go through what you did.”
“Are you, really?” Could a creature like him feel compassion? Was it all lies? Then I thought about Annelise. He had nothing to gain from trying to save that small girl, yet he did everything he could to do so. Seeing Annelise made me question everything.
“Yes. I wouldn’t have let that happen if I knew you then.” His gaze dropped from my eyes to my lips. Only then did I realize how long his eyelashes were. They were a soft shade of gray, unlike his gorgeous white hair. “You’re a predicament. I want to hurt you, and yet I want to keep you safe. Protected.”
“How… how do you feel about me?” And why did I care about that?
He looked at me for a drawn-out moment. “I don’t know.”
Just like I didn’t know what to think about him.
“Come,” Cassius said. He pushed himself to his feet and, without warning, bent down to take me in his arms. He was getting a bad habit of doing that, and I was getting too used to being carried around by him. “I need to care for you.”
“Do you?” I asked. “You could just leave me.”
“I think that stopped being an option long ago.”
Twenty-Two
Verity
“Strip,” Cassius said.
I took a step toward the bathtub. “What?”
Water gushed around me, the sound playing a soothing rhythm. Nothing about this situation calmed me, however. Cassius had carried me down a spiral staircase and to his personal bathroom, beneath the tower he slept in. His bathtub looked like a Jacuzzi. Stone gargoyle rimmed the perimeter of the bathroom, their mouths gaping open with water pouring from them. Pillars were erected about the place. Batlike wings that reminded me of Cassius’s were carved around them.
“Take off your clothes,” Cassius said, dragging his shirt from his torso and revealing his taut frame underneath, reminding me that every inch of him was perfection.
I stared feebly at him. Looking at Cassius like that dumbfounded me. I saw undercurrents of hunger in the way he took me in, and that caused the knot in my belly to tighten even more.
“Do you want me to rip them off you?” Cassius asked, a teasing smirk on his face.
The desire he showed edged me on, and with trembling fingers, I tugged my shirt over my top. I thought he might give me some privacy and turn away, but Cassius was shameless with the way he stared. He took in the sight of me as I dragged my pants down my hips. I knew he’d already seen everything during our bout of passionate sex, but still, I hadn’t been this exposed.
Cassius hummed softly, seemingly pleased. I slid my clothes off as quickly as I could before hopping into the tub. The heat permeated my skin, rushing to my ears. Cassius chuckled at my embarrassment, which only served to deepen my hate for him. I wrapped my arms around my torso, covering myself, but there was no point in that. Cassius joined me soon after, sliding his naked body next to mine.
The water bubbled over my skin. The warmth helped me relax. I closed my eyes and breathed out a soft sigh. This was magical. I wasn’t sure if I deserved this.
Cassius dragged me toward him, pressing me against his taut frame. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head in the crook of my neck.
“I want to taste you again, Ver,” he said.
I stifled a moan. His length hardened against my back, letting me know of his arousal. I tightened the muscles of my thighs as anticipation crawled down my spine. I placed my hand on Cassius’s, which was fastened on my stomach. He touched me with so much gentleness that I doubted his nature as a vampire. I thought I felt love in the way he held me, but that must have been my imagination.
“But I won’t,” Cassius continued. “Not today. You need your blood. Your energy.” He slipped his hand between my legs, found my center, and began slow strokes. “I will have to settle for this.”
I arched my back when Cassius pushed his fingers into my core. My walls clenched around him. He knew exactly where to touch me, finding my most sensitive spot and kneading me in just the right way. As soon as he worked with me, stars flooded my vision. I clenched my thighs together and bucked my hips. Cassius clamped his hand around my waist, keeping me in place. I whimpered, shaking in his hands.
Cassius nipped my earlobe, but he didn’t break my skin. He raked his tongue across the back of my ear as he continued punishing me with his fingers. “I like the sounds you make when I pleasure you.”
I tossed my head back and cried out his name. Cassius used that opportunity to turn my face toward him. He captured my lips and took me in a passionate kiss. Gently, he bit my lower lip. The tender way he touched me, the way he showed that he cared, shook me to my core. Tears pooled at the sides of my eyes as the knot in my belly unraveled. I came apart underneath Cassius’s touch. I reached for his arm, holding tightly as my climax rocked through me. I rocked my hips against him as my mind fogged.
Cassius grunted after I’d unra
veled. I’d found my height of pleasure and was ready to cuddle in his arms, but Cassius hadn’t had his fill. He shifted beneath me and grabbed his length.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I said, still fighting the demons that thrashed in my head.
“That’s what makes this all the better,” Cassius replied. He sheathed himself into my center. I thought I’d had enough, but when he entered me, I grew heady once again. Cassius fastened his hands around my waist and pushed himself deeper into me. “You’re wrong for me, Ver. And I love it.”
I didn’t think it was possible for a vampire to hold someone this tenderly. Cassius had been massaging and bathing me for the last fifteen minutes now. After he’d finished in me, he treated me with the utmost care. He made me feel special, even though I was nothing but one of the students in his school.
“Hmm,” Cassius said into my neck as he rubbed a sponge down the side of my abdomen. He’d been lingering at my neck, and once or twice, I sensed the prickling of his fangs on my skin. I knew he thirsted for me, yet he found the self-control to restrain himself.
The level of care he put into me was mind-boggling.
I sighed, letting my shoulders relax, and decided to enjoy this moment. I sank into Cassius’s arms while attempting to brush aside my guilt. This was too sinful.
“Why me?” I asked. “There are so many girls in school.” I wasn’t even sure if I should be sleeping with the principal. Vixie Natash was already giving me a hard time with those rumors, and weren’t these kinds of relationships supposed to be taboo?
Cassius continued washing my abdomen, moving the sponge from my side to my front. He pushed the sponge up, then made light circles around my breasts.
“I’m drawn to you,” Cassius said. “Unlike the other girls.”
“Why?”
“Must you question everything?”
“It doesn’t make sense to me. I confessed to wanting to kill you. You should wish to see me dead instead.”
“That’s what makes things thrilling, doesn’t it?”
Fullblood Academy: A Vampire Academy Mild Bully Romance (Vampires of the Sanctum Book 1) Page 16