by Jim Lombardo
The last summer the pair spent together at the camp was bittersweet. Chase had enlisted in the Air Force after high school graduation, and was due to report to basic training at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas after Labor Day. His parents had recently divorced and were in the process of selling their summer home. Chase and Sarah talked a lot about their experiences together over all those summers. The truth was that they both had developed romantic feelings for one another, but neither one had ever dared to open up about it. The idea of getting involved had always been tempered by the knowledge that they would have to part at the end of the season, so they kept their emotions carefully bottled up.
Camp Tom-Tom had a tradition that on the final day of camp everyone would hike and sleep overnight at a rustic mountain lodge on the summit of Mount Greylock. It was the last day of August, 1986. Sarah and Chase, along with the other counselors, led all the children through song after song on the mountaintop in front of a roaring bonfire that warmed the brisk night. As the sounds of guitar, Native American tom-toms, and singing washed over her, Sarah imagined that she was married to Chase, and that the campers were their family. All the while it tore at her heart that the next day she would be saying goodbye to him for probably the last time. As the evening wore on, the kids began yawning and the group decided to get to the bunks. When everyone was secure in the lodge and the nighttime whispers had quieted, Sarah and Chase sought some time alone. They told the other counselors they were going to check to make sure the campfire was safely put out. Chase threw a blanket over one shoulder, and the two headed out over a grassy ridge leading to the fire.
“What a fun summer, don’t you think?” Chase asked half-heartedly as they strolled along.
Sarah was deep in thought and didn’t respond.
“You want to sit for a while, Scoot?” he offered. “Scoot” was the playful moniker he used for Sarah because she always seemed to be in a hurry. But as they approached this summer’s fading flames, she was clearly in no rush.
They sat down near the edge of the smoldering fire. It was now reduced to a confined collection of glowing orange embers that guarded them from the chill, while cradling them in the pleasant aroma of pine. Occasionally the dying cinders would pop, casting a miniature shower of golden sparks into the air. Above them, a canopy of stars were sprinkled across the heavens, blending elegantly into the lights of North Adams in the valley below, creating the illusion they were basking in a sea of candlelight. Chase took the blanket off him to share. The two drew in shoulder to shoulder, and he wrapped them both up in it. There was no talking for a long time before Sarah finally spoke up meekly, her voice hesitating.
“I’m…gonna miss you, Chase.”
Chase paused for a long time. “Me too. You know, it always hurt saying goodbye to you at the end of every summer. But I always knew there was another one coming for us. It kinda freaks me out to think that isn’t true this time.”
Sarah turned to him and put her fingers to his mouth. She wanted to stop him from talking, but also feel the lips she had longed to kiss. The two embraced and let the world and all its worries fall away from them.
One month later, Sarah ambled out of her doctor’s office in a daze, trying to absorb the news that she was pregnant. She walked to a nearby park and sat on a bench alone to think. Will Chase come back to me? How am I going to tell my parents? What will my baby look like? Will I be a good mother? Watching children playing, she spotted a rambunctious girl with long braids and striped shirt happily jumping around, doing cartwheels against the rainbow-colored backdrop of the fall foliage. Maybe it will be okay.
It was a scary time, but there was never any doubt in her mind that she wanted to have this child that had grown out of one of the most meaningful relationships in her life. She felt it was meant to be, and with her family’s support somehow it would work out. The reality was that even living at home with her parents and two sisters, and getting their help, it was still exceedingly challenging for her, and she sacrificed a lot during Monica’s early years. She put off her college plans to devote herself full-time to caring for her child, working nights and weekends at a college pub to earn spending money. Although she had a few relationships with men, none ever lasted long. Eventually the constraints of her family situation would become a problem, and the men would disappear from her life.
Chase was stationed in Europe for the first few years after Monica’s birth, then California. He managed to visit several times a year while on leave to see Sarah and Monica. But the relationship with Sarah was platonic as Chase was involved with another woman he had met in the service.
Despite the personal sacrifices, Sarah relished her role as a mother. This was true even over the last two years of her life when she courageously fought a rare blood cancer that sapped her energy. Sarah succumbed to the disease at the age of 25, when Monica was seven years old.
Per Sarah’s wishes, Monica was adopted by Sarah’s older sister Doris and her husband Phil who lived in Gloucester, Massachusetts. Doris had always had a motherly instinct towards her niece from the three years they had all lived together in Williamstown, before Doris married and moved out. Doris was unable to conceive, and was overjoyed to take over raising Monica. Phil worked devotedly for two weeks to prepare the house for his niece’s arrival, completely renovating a bedroom of their house that featured grand windows, with a view of the Atlantic Ocean in the distance.
Monica was traumatized by her mother’s untimely death, but her Aunt Doris and Uncle Phil were dedicated to helping her through her loss, and regaining her confidence and spirit. They brought Monica to her new school to meet her teacher, Miss Beauchamp, and the two became instant friends. The woman was impressed with how advanced Monica was for her grade and offered to have her serve as Teacher’s Assistant for the remainder of the school year. That experience helped to shape Monica’s interest in becoming a teacher herself.
Chapter Fifteen
Hannah’s Brain
The Blakes arrived at Dr. Oster’s waiting room around four o’clock. Although no other patients were seen coming or going, they waited a full hour. A diaper change and flipping through a few Parents magazines helped pass the time. The parents also discussed Monica’s maternity leave which was expiring soon, and agreed to request an indefinite leave of absence. Finally they were led into the doctor’s office by the receptionist.
The physician had a disturbed look on his face at first, but greeted them with a forced smile. “Come in, and let’s discuss what we’ve found.”
“You found something?” Monica asked with a touch of fear in her voice, settling into her seat without averting eye contact with the doctor.
“Well, it’s far too early to determine the significance of all this but…we found that...Hannah’s brain has some…unusual aspects.”
Monica clutched Hannah tightly, pulling her into her stomach and grimacing.
“What do you mean, Doctor?” Brian demanded. “Is she gonna be alright?”
“She certainly seems fine currently. But can I share the MRI images with you?”
“Yes…please,” said Brian.
Oster rotated the computer screen on his desk so that all three could view the results. He began to explain. “The cerebrum is the central and largest part of the brain and has two sides. What you’re looking at here is the interior of Hannah’s right cerebral hemisphere. This looks quite normal to me for five weeks.”
The doctor’s demeanor then took on an air of fascination as he continued. “Now, take a look at this image of Hannah’s outer layer, or cerebral cortex. This is the part of the brain that plays a key role in such abilities as conscious thought, memory, language, and perceptual awareness. It normally has a convoluted look to it, with folds and ridges that increase the total surface area that can fit into the skull. This is nature’s way of making the most of the limited space that our brains have. But compare that with this picture here.�
�� Oster grabbed an anatomy textbook from his desk and opened to a page that was flagged with a post-it note. “Do you notice the difference? Hannah’s brain has probably 10 times as many of these folds as you would expect to see.”
“Tell us straight, Doctor,” Brian blurted out. “Is she gonna be like...special needs?”
“She may be developmentally challenged, but there’s no way to predict it. I know that when Albert Einstein’s brain was examined at autopsy he had several extra folds similar to this in the lobe of the brain responsible for abstract thought and spatial visualization. So the idea that many more folds might harm her intellectual abilities or social skills, we can’t conclude that.”
The doctor continued, while pointing to a new image he brought up on the screen. “I also see that there isn’t the usual separation between the two hemispheres of her brain. Normally there would be a thick band of neural fibers connecting the two halves, called the corpus callosum. But that structure is almost non-existent in your baby. It’s atypical, but again, I’m not sure how this will project for her.” He decided not to disclose that this anomaly was often present in the brains of people with savant syndrome, a condition in which a person demonstrates astonishing and prodigious mental capabilities, far in excess of a typical human being. Oster was aware that this heightened ability was likely due to the fact that with the complete or partial absence of the membrane, the two hemispheres of the brain could more effectively communicate with each other. The result was faster processing of information, along with enhanced memory skills. But he didn’t want to raise false hopes about a superior brain, because it was well established that this physical characteristic was also associated with some social and emotional disorders, including autism.
The physician moved on to another image. “Here’s a three-dimensional image of Hannah’s hippocampus, a horseshoe-shaped structure near the base of the brain that’s vital to memory formation and the organizing and storing of information. Think of it as the hard drive of the brain. Hannah’s is just so much larger in proportion to the rest of her brain, which is oversized to begin with for her age.”
“Did these things cause the seizure, or whatever it was?” asked Brian.
“It’s possible, but we’ll need to do more testing. The EEG results today couldn’t identify the data signature of epilepsy, or actually help with any diagnosis, because Hannah’s brainwaves had such a high frequency that the machine could barely gauge them. This is something frankly that I’ve never seen in an infant, until now.”
“They were having some problems with the equipment though, Doctor,” Brian pointed out. “Couldn’t those results be wrong?”
Oster tightened his lips and tilted his head with skepticism. “Unlikely, but we’ll retest in the near future. You know, I wish I could give you more answers today, but honestly for all the incredible advances in medical science and knowledge, the human brain is still very much a mystery. There’s a lot more to learn. Maybe your child’s case will help us.”
“So…what do we do now?” Monica inquired hesitantly, while unconsciously stroking one of her baby’s arms in rapid little circles.
“I’m going to review Hannah’s case with the Neurology staff tomorrow, and I’ll be seeking input from other specialists in the field as well. Let’s schedule another appointment for two weeks from today. In the meantime, contact me right away if she has another episode like yesterday, or if she exhibits any irregular behavior. Here’s my office phone, and feel free to call me at home too,” he said, circling his numbers on a prescription pad and handing it to Brian. “Honestly, at this juncture there’s nothing medically that I can suggest. The best advice I can give you right now is to take your daughter home and treat her as normally as possible.”
“Okay, Doctor,” said Brian. “We’ll treat her normal, and hopefully everything stays normal.”
Chapter Sixteen
Little Star (6 weeks)
One week later, just as the digital clock in Monica and Brian’s darkened room changed to 3:03 a.m., the silence of the night was broken by the strains of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.”
“Monica…Monica…the toy’s going off,” Brian groaned, irritated to have been woken out of a deep slumber. He nudged his wife to get up, since the toy star’s song seemed to be coming from her side of the room, near Hannah’s bassinet.
“Okay, I’ll get it….”
But in the next moment, the room became quiet again and they both instantly dozed off.
The digital clock changed to 3:07, and once again the tune started up.
“Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are….”
Monica was stirred again, and stated more emphatically this time, “I’ll get it!”
“Stupid flipping thing,” said Brian.
Monica rolled out of their bed and began fishing around with her hand to find the star, first in Hannah’s bassinet, and then underneath and around it, but to no avail.
“Where is it?” she said in frustration and bewilderment. “Sorry, Bri’, I’m going to have to turn the light on.”
Monica switched on her bedside table lamp, softly illuminating the room. She peeked in on her baby and was startled for a split second, as Hannah was wide awake and looking straight up at her. “You scared me, sweetheart. Don’t you ever sleep?” she said, before going back to trying to find the singing toy. She rechecked the bassinet, under Hannah’s blankets, and around the floor with no luck. Monica looked under her bed, and then started checking her own blankets.
“You did hear it singing, Brian, right? We weren’t dreaming?”
“No, it’s going off on its own. Just find it and snuff it out.”
“But where is it?” Monica whined. “We have to find it, or it’ll just wake us up again.”
Her face then contorted. “Weren’t we playing with that in the living room tonight? Did you move it in here?” she asked, before noticing that Brian had already nodded off.
Monica shrugged and made her way into the living room. She switched on the overhead light, and there on the sofa lay the toy star.
“Humph, it sounded like it was so close,” she whispered to herself. She picked up the toy to turn it off and was surprised to see that the power switch was already in the off position. After turning a plastic latch on the back, she removed the batteries and tossed everything onto their coffee table. She flicked off the living room light and was heading back to her bedroom when the song started up again.
“Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are….”
Monica halted. She glanced back in the direction of the toy, and then ahead of her. Somehow the song was coming from their bedroom, and it sounded strangely different. Brian began howling, “Turn that stupid thing off. Get it outta here!”
Monica approached the bedroom door, arriving just after the song had ended. She stood motionless in the doorway for a full minute in silence. Then it started up again. Clearly the song was coming from the bassinet. Heart pounding, Monica walked hesitantly towards the sound and peered in to see Hannah, busy at work on the next verse.…
“How I wonder what you are…Hi Mo…nee…ka.”
A chill went down Monica’s back as she stared down at her child. “Brian…Brian!” she shouted. “Oh, my God! The baby’s talking! Come over here!”
Brian was clearly annoyed. “Alright, now you are dreaming.” He rolled out of bed and clumsily made his way over to Monica who was staring down at Hannah. “What’s going on?”
“Hannah talked, Brian...I’m not kidding…she was singing the song…and she just said hi to me. She said my name!”
Brian sighed. Struggling to keep his eyes open, he grudgingly looked down at Hannah who was lying perfectly still. “Come on, Monica, quit it. We need to sleep.” He turned around and started trudging back to his side of the bed.
“Hi Bwyan.”
Brian barked back. “I’m serious, Monica, knock it off. It’s three in the morning.”
Monica started to respond to her husband, “Brian…,” while at the exact same moment Hannah cried out, “Bwyan, Bwyan!” It was clear that two people were talking over one another.
Brian froze in place. He cocked his head and spun around.
“Come over here, Brian. I’m telling you, Hannah is talking!”
Brian returned to the bassinet and gaped in disbelief as Hannah smiled up at him and exclaimed enthusiastically, “Bwyaaannn!”
Hannah’s laryngitis had finally resolved, and it was now open season for her. She swiveled her head towards Monica and asked, “Star? Star?” She wanted Monica to get the star, but was not experienced at raising the pitch of a word to turn it into a question, so the end of “Star” came out as an odd high note. Monica knew what she meant, and ran to the living room, grabbed the toy, and with her hands shaking, fumbled with the batteries to get them back into their proper place. She made her way back into the bedroom and turned it on.
Hannah sang along with the toy while Brian and Monica stood there dumbfounded. Her pronunciation was slurred, but her speech was understandable, and the pitch of each note was passable. Most of the words she was merely sounding out phonetically, without comprehending their meaning, but at this stage in her development, she knew that every single object had a sound/word for it, and she did have some sense of the words; star, I, you, up, and the. She recognized the word high but was confusing it with the greeting hi.
When Hannah was finished, Brian said to his wife, “Do you…do you think she actually knows what she’s saying, Monica? Or…or is she just talking like a parrot?”
Hannah had watched a 30-minute National Geographic special on tropical birds of the Amazon rainforest just the previous day and objected to the comparison. She shot back rapier-like, with a troubled expression, “No! I baby.” Then promptly declared, “You pawwot.”