by C. L. Stone
Relationships were confusing. Or perhaps I just was so unused to them...
He didn’t draw too far away. He held my hand, opened my palm up, and traced absently into my palm. “I can’t wait until we move.”
“You? But you live with Uncle.”
“Yeah, but he’s never there anymore, and his friends keep popping in. And... it’s so far away from you.”
I didn’t say anything else. I was mildly just enjoying the smoothness of his fingertips on my palm.
Until I realized he was tracing hearts. Hearts, and then his name, and more hearts. And then my name.
It was only a few more minutes before Gabriel returned, loaded with a couple of bags of burgers and fries.
“Crazy lady in front of me was fucking with the kid trying to take her order,” he grumbled, putting the food bags into the back seat before sitting next to them. “Not his fault they don’t have your rose water coffee whatever.”
“You should have told her that,” Luke said. He turned, reaching for one of the food bags, grabbing box of fries.
“I did,” Gabriel said. “It’s how I got some free chicken nuggets with my order.”
Luke stuffed his mouth with fries and passed the box to me. “Why can’t you drive us back?” he asked me. “I’m too hungry to do it.”
“She doesn’t drive yet,” Gabriel said.
“Dr. Green said he’d show me how to drive eventually,” I said.
Luke paused, considering. “We can do it now.” He unbuckled his seatbelt.
I grimaced without knowing what to say. I didn’t quite mean that.
“She can’t drive right now,” Gabriel said, looking through the bag of food, half distracted.
“Sure she can,” Luke said. “We’re like two minutes from the school and it’s all right turns and twenty-five miles an hour from here. It’s a great starting point.”
My heartbeat increased so much, I was hearing thudding in my ears. “I... don’t...”
“Well,” Gabriel said after I couldn’t finish a sentence, “we can go really slow I guess.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to, but I also realized I was older than Gabriel and I didn’t even have a permit, much less a license.
“I don’t think I can get an actual license,” I said. “I don’t have IDs and I can’t get one if I’m a ghost bird... for you know...” I wasn’t even totally sure the use of that but it seemed important.
Luke shrugged. “You should still know how a car operates and drive a bit, just for emergencies.”
“Yeah,” Gabriel pipped in. “We’ve been driving since like fucking twelve. Unofficially. Don’t tell anyone.”
It was still lunchtime with several cars around us and I’d never been behind the wheel. “I don’t know what to do,” I said.
“I’ll show you,” Luke said. “Kota’s car is pretty easy to drive anyway.”
I got out, my body shaking...
Try not to think.
I couldn’t help it. This seemed like a terrible time to do this. They said it was easy. They’d done this since they were twelve?
Maybe it wasn’t too hard? I just wasn’t mentally prepared for the idea of driving.
I got behind the wheel, and Luke sat in the passenger seat with fries in hand.
Gabriel lost interest in looking through food and focused on directing me from the back seat.
“Take it real slow,” Gabriel said, and he pointed to the brake and the gas. “Just use your right foot, don’t use both feet.”
“Who uses both feet?” Luke said with a mouth full of fries, two still hanging out of the front of his mouth.
“Pam.” Gabriel motioned to me. “Push down on the break, put the car into reverse. Release the break slowly.”
I did what he said, and he directed me to looking at mirrors, looking behind us. The car reversed out of the spot and I got in line to turn right onto the street.
I wasn’t doing as bad as I thought I might, not until someone behind us started honking since I was taking so long to turn right.
Gabriel flashed hand signals out the back window. “Motherfucker can wait five seconds.”
Luke took over directing me. “Right pedal can go down more. Try an inch at a time instead of a centimeter, ok? This car takes a minute to get up to speed as it is.”
I tried pushing down a bit more. Kota’s old car rolled forward faster. The speedometer crept up to fifteen.
Eventually I got it to twenty. I kept my arms straight as a board trying to make sure I stayed between the lines.
Luke sat back, smiling. “Easy does it. Make the next right. If you want, we can even keep going past the school. That neighborhood on the other side is pretty empty.”
I wasn’t so sure I wanted to be gone longer. I made the turn onto the street where the school entryway was.
There was a weird noise in the front of the car, and I stopped the car in the middle of the road.
“Don’t worry about it,” Luke said.
“Yeah, this car makes all kinds of noises,” Gabriel said.
Another car honked behind us. I pushed the gas, slowly creeping back up to twenty.
The engine suddenly exploded with sound. For a moment, I was stuck, looking at the dash, trying to figure out what happened as the sound seemed to come from inside. I didn’t see it until I looked outside the car.
A large hole, about the size of a fist, sticking out of the front hood of Kota’s sedan. Steam was seeping out the edges of the hood.
Luke dropped his fries instantly. “Pull over,” he said, taking the wheel from his side.
I’d already let go of the gas and hadn’t put any pressure on the break at all. I just froze.
Instead of asking me to do more, Luke steered the still-rolling car in its momentum forward until he could get it to the side of the road on the grass, right at the start of the school’s front entryway and off the road. He yanked the hand break in the center and the car stopped, then twisted the key until the engine stopped. The engine still made hissing sounds and little popping noises.
Gabriel made a face, showing a lot of teeth. “We don’t tell Kota what happened.”
“I think he’s going to notice the giant hole in the front of his car,” Luke said.
“North is going to fucking blame us,” Gabriel said. “He’ll never let us take the Jeep now.”
They kept going back and forth. My heart, my breath, everything in me had stopped so quickly.
I never wanted to drive again. I clearly did something terrible. Kota’s car...
Suddenly I was smelling strong ash and smoke. “It’s burning,” I said.
Outside, what had started as steam, had changed color and density and was clearly smoke. It also bloomed out of the hole in the hood.
Luke’s eyes widened. He dropped his food, punched open his door, grabbed me, and in a quick motion, unbuckled and yanked at the same time to get me out of the car on his side, pulling me far away from the car off into the ditch by the road.
Gabriel went into action all at the same time, finding a fire extinguisher quick, from where I wasn’t sure, and opened the front hood of Kota’s car.
It instantly blazed with fire, burning off whatever grease was inside.
People driving by on the side of the road slowed down. Some with cell phones out.
“They’re probably calling the fire department,” Luke said. He ushered me toward the school. “Get inside and find someone. Tell them what happened. I’ll stay with Gabriel.” He made a face. “...Maybe don’t tell anyone you were driving, ok?”
I wasn’t going to lie, not to the others, but I’d let Luke and Gabriel talk to the fire department.
We weren’t supposed to separate but we were so close, and I was within view the whole time, at least until I got to the front door of the school. From there, I looked back, as Gabriel was letting loose the white spray from the fire extinguisher into the engine and Luke was on his stomach, checking the underside of the car.
&nbs
p; I held my breath, going into the school. There wasn’t anyone in the hallway close to the front office, just some students way down the hall toward the music rooms on the ground floor.
And I spotted Mike. And Jer. And Rocky. All together. Talking. I knew them all from school.
I paused, raising the hood that had dropped down. It was a little late. They saw me.
I ran for the front office, too embarrassed.
The front office was mostly abandoned, and I couldn’t really see anyone, I could just hear talking somewhere in offices.
I was shaking by the time I got back to the principal’s office. I didn’t wait to check, I just walked in. My eyes were wide and watering, from the smoke and the fear at the same time. My nose was filled with both smoke and leftover burger and grass and as overwhelmed as I was, it was imbedded into my brain how the scent was so stuck in my nose that I couldn’t smell much else.
It was Mr. Blackbourne, North and Dr. Green this time, huddled together at his desk. I wasn’t sure where the others had gone off to.
The three of them took one look at me and instantly seemed to stand up at the same time.
I didn’t wait for them to ask. “I exploded Kota’s car!” I burst out.
There was one absolute second of silence, like they needed that moment to really understand what I was trying to say, but I was too rattled to offer much else. It was the truth. I didn’t know what else to say.
“Where is it?” North asked quickly.
“Out in front,” I said, and pointed in the direction.
North and Mr. Blackbourne hurried, skirting around me.
“Stay with her,” Mr. Blackbourne said to Dr. Green on their way out.
I remained by the door as both Mr. Blackbourne and North brushed past me. Dr. Green closed the door, put his hand on it and the wall behind me to lean over me and arms on either side.
“So, how did we explode a car?” he said in a cheery tone.
I shook a bit, trying to form words, but it was all coming out as a jumbled mess.
“Okay, okay,” he said in a tender tone. He pulled me into his arms, held me in such a firm hug that I couldn’t shake, even if I wanted to. He just did that, held on to me, for such a long time.
I kind of needed it. “I don’t want to drive again,” I said.
Dr. Green made a choking noise, like trying to smother a giggle. “Pookie, listen. Cars are tools. They are useful but that’s all they are. Kota’s car, in fact, was the oldest tool ready to go at any moment. It was just it’s time... I’m guessing. Because I still don’t understand... You didn’t do it on purpose? You didn’t make an actual bomb and tried to make it blow up, right?”
“I was driving,” I said with chattering teeth as I tried to breath in and talk at the same time while so stressed. “And the car exploded.”
“Cars don’t just blow up,” he said. “Come on, let’s go see. It’s probably not as bad as you think it is.”
He kissed my forehead and held me a moment longer. Then he guided me to get out of the way so he could open the door. He pressed his hand to my back, and I went with him. He released his touch on me when we got to where people could actually see us.
Back toward the front of the school, it was all wide windows and the doors were all glass. We could easily see a good portion of the front lawn area, the drab brown grass.
The car was still there, still smoking a bit but the flames were gone.
Luke, Gabriel, Mr. Blackbourne and North were all outside.
Along with a police officer and firefighters, while one firefighter checked out the vehicle, easing himself over to examine the damage.
Two police cars parked nearby but out of range of Kota’s car, and two firetrucks were haphazardly parked half in the road to stop people from trying to get too close. A couple of other police officers were directing traffic around to avoid the mess. It was obvious they were worried the car might explode further and were trying to keep people away until it was clear.
“Sang, sweetie,” Dr. Green said next to me as he looked on at the absolute chaos there was outside. “It’s... not... that bad...” He stumbled over his words. “First time... always... um...”
He didn’t have to finished. He was trying to be nice and I felt absolutely awful. I wasn’t hungry anymore. I just wanted to disappear.
Rapid, soft-soled footsteps echoed in the hall behind us and approached quickly. I just caught Nathan and Kota before they crashed past us at the glass doors to push them open.
“Hi Sang. Bye Sang,” Nathan said following behind Kota. Both intently jogged the short distance from the entrance to where the others stood. Someone must have messaged Kota.
Kota stopped at the police officer, looking over at his car. He seemed shocked.
I could have died right then. Again. After such a nice day today with him, and now this.
“This might be karma,” I said to Dr. Green.
He chuckled. He remained behind me. Close enough I could feel the warmth of him near me but not touching. Not here. “From what?”
“I didn’t tell Kota about what we found out about his mom,” I said. “Now he’s going to be double mad.”
He stopped grinning and shook his head. “That’s not it.”
I wasn’t so sure. This wasn’t a good day at all.
More footsteps behind us. I turned to find Victor, Silas, and Mr. Buble approaching. They stopped at the doors, too, looking out at the mess of vehicles and the blown up car.
“Are we in trouble?” Silas asked.
“It’s Kota’s car?” Victor asked, squinting a little as he looked out. “Honestly, about time. Someone please get him something new. And brand new? Please.”
I squeaked. Just a little.
It was enough to get everyone’s attention.
Dr. Green grimaced, chuckled just a little and put an arm around my shoulders in a friendly way and addressed the others. “Everyone is going to be very nice to Sang for the next week, okay? It’s been a long day... and a very weird first driving experience... which she totally aced as far as anyone needs to know.”
Mr. Buble’s eyes widened. “You?”
My eyes watered more and I shook where I stood, despite Dr. Green holding on to me and trying to make light of what’d happened. I didn’t want to cry, I was just such a mess from everything going on so quickly.
“Okay, okay,” Victor said instantly, tugging me gently away from Dr. Green. He kept his arm around my waist and half-carried me down the hallway. “Mr. Buble...”
“We’re leaving,” he said quickly. “Dr. Green and Silas—”
“We’ve got this,” Dr. Green said quickly. “Make her have some ice cream. Or whatever she wants.”
I didn’t want anything except for the day to be over and to not ever drive again.
Riff
(A repeated chord progression or refrain)
Sang
Victor and Mr. Buble waited to ask me what happened until after they made me eat a chicken sandwich and a healthy vegetable salad mix he picked up from a local deli while on the way.
“You can have a little ice cream after,” Mr. Buble explained after he placed the order for me at a drive thru. “If you still want some, that is. However, I’d recommend staying away from any sugar or caffeine if you’re feeling this rattled. It might not help.”
He was right. After eating good food and drinking water while riding in the car, I started to calm down. Maybe part of it all was I’d been so hungry and didn’t realize though all the craziness.
I did eventually tell them what happened.
“There is no way that is your fault,” Victor said.
“That isn’t something that you could have done just by driving,” Mr. Buble said. “It would have happened to Luke as well. It was inevitable. It was just the car, not you.”
They didn’t mention anything about the fact that I was driving a car without a license or any experience. Either they weren’t going to tell me off about doing so r
ight then to be nice to me, or they weren’t surprised that it was happening. It was hard to be sure.
“Are you still up for one last job?” Mr. Buble asked. “It’s not difficult. And then we can go home.”
I nodded. I would have rather gone home, but I wanted to prove I could work through being a little scared and still keep on task.
What kind of Academy person would I be if I quit just because I was so embarrassed and rattled?
“This last job,” Mr. Buble was saying to us on the way to downtown Summerville, “is the only thing we have on our minor list before we’re clear to focus on moving. Let’s finish this task.”
“It’s easy,” Victor said from the rear seat. He’d insisted I get into the passenger seat next to Mr. Buble.
Third job for the day. It was getting close to sunset. We’d eaten and waited until now, supposedly the perfect time, for Mitch. They explained a bit about what was happening.
I’d never switched jobs so much and had a full day like this. It was no surprise now why North kept on people to keep them healthy, why Kota managed the group and made sure we had what we needed. The more I worked with them, the more I understood: why they worked with teenagers heavily, why we had two team leads to a group, the favors... it all was falling into place.
Mr. Buble parked outside of a brown one-story building, the Summerville library. I thought it was the same dull brick as Ashley Waters High School. With the sun low behind the trees behind it, the building was illuminated by low lamps pointed in its direction surrounding the building.
We got a clear view of the inside just from the parking lot. The place was pretty busy. The only thing blocking the view further inside was the bookshelves. Otherwise we could monitor everything going on.
Mr. Buble parked at an angle, backing into a spot closer to the street. “Our job is very simple, but I’m going to start first and you’ll be my lookout team.”
“What are we doing?” I asked.
“You two will monitor me from here. I’m going inside and will get access to the office computer. An unfortunate accounting error is about to occur. It will render this library unable to take on their newest employee. They will conveniently find a request via email for a reference librarian at a college, a small reference library for a group of psychiatrists, funnily enough.”