by J. E. Cluney
“I was hoping that he’d remind me of our passwords for our… um… offshore accounts,” the old prude shifted in her seat as she spoke the words.
“You can swim with the fishes before you get my money,” Mr Jenkins chuckled.
I couldn’t contain my giggles as Maria’s brown eyes flashed with disbelief at the old woman, but she quickly regained her composure.
“He’s not sure he wants to remind you, he thinks you’re better off moving on and not relying on him anymore,” Maria murmured.
I gave Mr Jenkins a raised eyebrow as he scoffed and shook his head.
“But he’s gone. He has no use for it anymore. Surely he’d want to take care of me like he promised on our wedding day,” the old woman frowned and huffed.
“Till death do us part. I’m dead now woman, be gone with you! You’ve got all the money we had in our accounts, it’s more than enough to get you through, but you won’t get my offshore accounts!” Mr Jenkins flailed his hand at his wife.
I grinned in delight as Maria bit her lip to keep her facial expression smooth.
I’d definitely needed this after my disposal job at work in the early hours of the morning.
How she did it was beyond me sometimes, I enjoyed working with her and her clients, it surely was entertaining at times.
I shared the details with Maria that he’d left her a few things already.
“He has left you everything else, he believes you’ll be fine,” Maria said gently.
“I’m paying this woman good money to speak to you, you old prat, now, what are the passwords?” the old woman spat as she turned to glare around the room, as if she’d see her husband standing there.
Her eyes glided over both of us, unseen by her, and I pursed my lips to withhold my laughter.
Maria stared at the woman in astonishment and glanced over at me while mouthing ‘oh my God’ before focusing back on the woman.
“Bloody woman can’t even let me rest in peace. Fine you old cow, you can have the passwords, but don’t ever bother me again,” Mr Jenkins grumbled reluctantly. “Tell her it’s the name of the first cruise ship we were ever on and the model of my favorite Chevy,” the man snapped.
I relayed the information, and Maria informed Mrs Jenkins.
“Was that so hard?” Mrs Jenkins raised a haughty eyebrow at the seemingly empty room.
“He wishes you a happy life from here on, but he wants you to move on from him. He wants to rest now, and remain in his world of peace,” Maria said carefully, wanting to respect Mr Jenkins wishes of not ever being bothered again.
“I know what he means, love,” Mrs Jenkins patted Maria’s hand with a knowing smile.
“I’ll leave you alone now Steve, I’ll let you rest in peace,” she rolled her eyes.
“Good riddance, you smelly old hag,” Mr Jenkins said.
I couldn’t help it as I lost it, bursting into fits of giggles as Maria broke the circle and Mr Jenkins faded away.
“Well, are you satisfied that you’ve gained what you came here for?” Maria asked as she clasped her hands before her, ignoring my muffled giggles.
“Yes dearie, thank you. I’m sure he wasn’t the most charming man to converse with, but thank you for relaying it in a kindly manner,” Mrs Jenkins nodded as she stood up.
Maria nodded with a pleasant smile, but once Mrs Jenkins’ back was turned she gave me a confused grin as she shook her head.
“What a couple, if that’s what happens when you get married, count me out.” I whistled as Maria rolled her eyes at me and followed Mrs Jenkins out of the room.
“So, how’s everything going?” Maria asked as we sat down on her couch after finishing up in her rented psychic studio for the morning. We’d taken her car back to her place.
“Well, I’m still dead, so no change there,” I said sarcastically as I slumped back against the cushions.
“Yeah, well, not much I can do there,” Maria sighed as she sat back against the arm of the couch with a coffee in hand.
“I had to get rid of a body for Alex last night, well, early this morning,” I sighed as I stared up at the chandelier, its glittering dewdrop stones glistening in the light. It melded in well despite her home not being a fancy modern piece. It belonged to her Uncle and she inherited it. She’d worked wonders sprucing the place up, and loved to add her own flair to the old home, like the chandelier and assorted crystals littering the shelves. Her home was pretty much what anyone would expect a psychic to live in. Star maps, chakra figure and aura posters plastered all over the place, incense wafting through the air. I couldn’t make out the mix she’d lit today, maybe some lemongrass in it.
“Wait, what?” Maria sat up straight as she gave me a bewildered look.
“James Daven, the attorney of Heath Clave, a known vampire hunter. The dumbass tried to stake Alex,” I rubbed my temples, imagining the headache I’d have if I was alive. I couldn’t believe I’d actually done that. And now I barely cared. Maybe being dead made my emotions wear off quick. When I’d been fully alive, it would’ve bothered me much more. Maria said that spirits felt emotions differently. Was I losing touch with mine?
“Seriously, what the hell?!” Maria gaped as she set her coffee down on the coffee table. The assorted magazines and sheets of potion recipes littered most of the free space, but she managed to set it down on a crystal coaster.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to tell you before your session as I knew it’d throw you off,” I gave her a thin-lipped smile.
“I’m your friend, you can tell me anything,” Maria frowned. “But getting rid of a body, that’s not something to be taken lightly, even if Alex is a vampire and it’s normal for him. It’s not normal for the rest of us.”
“Yeah, well, when I got the job two years ago I didn’t get the bloodthirsty killer fang memo, just the general mainstreaming vampire memo,” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, well, he is a vampire, you have to be wary with them,” Maria muttered. “If you’d known more about him back then, about vampires, maybe you wouldn’t have taken the job and you’d still be properly alive, not this… in-between state.” Maria waved her hand in exasperation at me. She didn’t have a clue as to why I was like this either.
But she was right, my boss was the reason I was dead.
If only I’d known.
“I can’t believe he made you do that, what if you get found out?” Maria bit her lip in distress.
“To be honest, I’m dead, there’s not much more anyone can do to me,” I managed a smirk despite her deadpan expression.
“Still, that’s pretty unprofessional of him,” Maria grumbled, ignoring my attempt at sarcasm.
“So was killing me,” I shrugged.
“I still can’t believe you’re still working for him after that,” Maria let out an exasperated sigh.
We’d spoken about this so many times now.
“I like my job, and it’s good money,” I shrugged.
“Yeah, but what use is money if you’re dead? You’re not fully dead now, but what if that changes? I can’t explain what you are, no one can,” Maria shot my sarcasm back at me.
I raised an eyebrow at her brashness, but let it go as I nodded.
“True, I still enjoy the occasional treat, food, a manicure, a pretty new car, things I need money for,” I said.
“I still can’t believe you bother eating,” Maria rolled her eyes.
“I like the taste, besides, I only eat every few days,” I said.
Many things had changed when I’d died. No headaches, no queasiness, no periods, no need to sleep. And thankfully I’d somehow retained my taste buds, although I didn’t need to eat as much as my body didn’t need the sustenance. But I did enjoy my chocolate and pizza and more exotic, fancy foods every once in a while.
“Spirits don’t just walk happily among us, you know, they eventually become dangerous, vengeful beings,” Maria watched me with an interest only a woman devout to the spirit realm could watch me with. It remin
ded me of a child who’d just seen their dog kill a bird for the first time. There was an equal mix of fear and fascination.
Maria had dealt with a few old spirits who’d been trapped in the living world for too long, and they were nasty, dangerous things. However, they were extremely rare as well.
So Maria’s worries were valid.
“That’s why I have you to keep an eye on me and keep me in check,” I smiled. “Besides, I still have somewhat of a heartbeat, maybe I’m not full specter.”
“Yeah, but in order to get rid of a vengeful spirit, you need to perform a ritual on their bones and destroy them, or destroy whatever object is holding them here, your body is somehow still with you, it’s not something that can be dug up,” Maria frowned as she reached for her coffee. “It’s fascinating, I’ve been doing so much reading and calling friends, but no one can explain it, no one knows what you are exactly.”
“I’ll just stick with ghost,” I murmured as I spotted Mr Fluffs, Maria’s fat ginger tomcat. “Hey Fluffs!”
Mr Fluffs released the expected hiss at my presence, but then proceeded to jump up on the couch and curl up between us.
“He’s getting used to you,” Maria noted.
Mr Fluffs could sense my unusualness, and he wasn’t a fan of it. But he was learning to understand that I posed no threat to him despite being dead.
“Axle doesn’t seem to mind me,” I stuck my tongue out at the feline as his eyes narrowed to slits.
“Axle is your dog, you’ve had him for what, three years? Of course he’s not going to be as upset about your change. But he still knew, didn’t he? Acted differently and scared at first?” Maria said as she set her coffee down again.
“Yeah, I s’pose,” I said. Axle, my German Shepherd/Husky mix, was my rescue dog from a shelter. I’d gotten him back before I worked for Alex when he was just a puppy. I’d always wanted to get my own dog ever since the family dog had passed away only a year before my mother died and my father bailed.
Yeah, I had quite an interesting year after I turned eighteen.
“Is Maurice minding him again?” Maria asked.
“Yeah, she loves him. Reminds her of her husband’s old dog apparently. Gives her a reason to go out for walks too, although she doesn’t want the full-time job of having her own dog.”
“It’s good though that you’ve got her there, with your night work and your odd jobs during the day. Especially considering you’re in an apartment. I can’t believe they let you have a dog,” Maria muttered in disbelief.
“I pay extra to have him, and he’s potty trained, besides, he’s good for me considering I don’t sleep. I can spend days walking or taking him to the park. He’s learned quite a few tricks,” I said as I eyed Mr Fluffs.
“Mr Fluffs doesn’t know any tricks, do you? You can’t be bothered with that fancy stuff,” Maria said in a baby voice as she scratched behind his ears. He purred in agreement.
“I’ve got to say, I’ve always liked dogs more,” I said.
“Don’t listen to her!” Maria said as she covered Mr Fluffs’ ears and pulled a face.
I laughed at her childish moment before she leaned back against the couch and sighed.
“I’m still trying to figure out what you’re going to do when people start asking questions about James,” Maria said as she plucked her coffee off the table and raised it to her lips while she stroked Mr Fluffs.
His content purring was a sound that made me smile despite the look of daggers he gave me.
“He’s been known to express his opinions openly about vampires. Even though there are laws, vampires have been known to take action, they won’t be able to pin it on Alex, I threw James in the river, and they’ll find him today sometime if they haven’t already. I made sure there wasn’t anything that could link him to Alex,” I said, dragging myself back to the conversation at hand.
“You’d want to hope not.”
“It’s strange, before I became what I am, I couldn’t have dealt with bodies at all, but ever since the day of revelations and my ‘death’ six months ago, I’ve changed. I was uneasy at first, and then annoyed at Alex. Now, I don’t really care that much,” I frowned.
“Maybe you can associate with it all better?” Maria suggested. “But that’s still weird. I talk to the dead and I reckon a body would still weird me out. How’d you even get rid of it?”
“I’m stronger physically since I ‘died’, so carrying a dead weight is easy,” I used the air quotes which earned me an eye-roll. “I just jumped with him.”
“Alex tried to turn you into a vampire, so it’s understandable you have some of their traits, like their strength. Have you noticed any other things, anything changing?” Maria asked as she cocked her head, her eyes running over me quickly as she checked me for any strangeness.
Alex had killed me by accident six months ago when he was attacked by a group of vampire haters who’d torched him and attempted to stake him. They’d missed his heart but wounded him badly, and I’d found him burning in the work parking lot.
I hadn’t known as much about vampires then as I do now, and I failed to realize that an injured vampire needs to feed in order to heal, and his injuries drove him to attack me. He didn’t even know he was doing it, he was just operating on instinct, and he still apologized and gave me that pained look every once in a while.
He’d tried to save me by turning me, but it didn’t work, something went wrong, and I became what I am now.
“No, nothing else, no fear of sunlight or thirst for blood,” I shook my head, to which Mr Fluffs released a deep growl.
“Oh please, you big baby,” Maria rolled her eyes at the fat cat between us.
“How’s your mom doing?” I changed the subject.
“The same, which is the best I can hope for. But she’ll start to build immunity to my potions eventually, and the dementia will kick in. I can see it trying, when she sees me sometimes and she has a blank look for a split second before she remembers me,” Maria sighed.
I reached over and squeezed her knee gently as I gave her a soft smile.
I couldn’t imagine what it was like, watching my mother fade into a shell of a person.
My own mother had passed before the day of revelation from breast cancer after my eighteenth birthday, and I hadn’t heard from my father since.
I missed him at times, the man that had raised me so lovingly and would do anything for my mother, but when she’d become sick, he’d become someone else. He’d become scared and lost, not comprehending why his wife was slowly dying.
He shut himself down, closing off his relationship with me as he focused everything on my mother, and when she passed, I think a piece of him died as well.
He’d abandoned me, which still hurt even to this day, but I tried to mask it and bury it.
“How is Alex?” Maria asked, blinking away the wetness in her eyes as she thought of her mother.
“Apart from asking me to discard of a body, he’s good I guess,” I shrugged.
“You two had some sort of thing going before …this. Anything new on that front yet?” Maria breathed.
“Yeah, if you could call it that, but no, nothing like that anymore.” I shifted uneasily. I didn’t like thinking about the closeness we’d once had.
How he’d taken me on a few dinner dates, eating for my benefit since he didn’t need to. And we’d even shared a passionate kiss one evening, before the reality of what he was hit me and I’d bailed on him.
Things had gone wonky after that, but after a talk with my other vampire colleague, Danny, I was almost ready to rekindle it and cast my worries aside. And then the dreaded night of my death happened.
That hadn’t helped in the slightest. I felt like I couldn’t trust him at all, and my attitude towards him had taken a dramatic turn from flirty to asshole. I couldn’t help it, because deep down, there was a part of me that still cared for him despite what happened, and I hated it, so I took it out on him.
“So,
do you know what kind of bonus you’ll get for ridding Alex of James’ body?” Maria asked.
“A good one, when he killed me and saw me walking around the office the next night, he gave me $50,000,” my mouth curved into a sly smile.
“I love how nonchalantly you relay what happened. When you first told me, you know, that your boss had killed you and then found you in the evening at work like nothing had ever happened, he nearly died from shock. I still remember that phone call, you were so scared,” Maria gave me a sympathetic look.
I rolled my eyes at her expression.
“I’d just died, I didn’t understand why I was still here. I still don’t,” I defended my actions.
I’d accepted what I was with Maria’s help. She’d dealt with the dead, and Alex was as helpful as he could be considering it was his fault. I’d been terrified of him at first, but it turned to anger and nastiness quickly. Amazingly, he never fired me despite my brazen words sometimes.
Maria had helped me come to terms with it, and I was forever grateful to her for that.
I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t known she was a psychic with experience with the dead.
“Have you guys spoken much about it?” Maria asked.
“No. He’s brought it up a few times, apologizing and wanting to try to fix things, but it’s not that simple. He killed me,” I shrugged.
“Not on purpose, he did try to turn you when he came to his senses,” Maria defended him.
“Still, it’s not something you can forgive and forget easily just like that,” I snapped my fingers and then crossed my arms in a huff and grumbled at Mr Fluffs as he growled at me.
He’d been confused, and guilt-ridden. I’d started to fall for him before that night, but now my sweeter feelings for him were squashed by the anger and confusion at what had happened to me.
My phone buzzed with a text message, and I was glad for the distraction as Maria sighed while I checked it.
A text from Alex was on the screen.