I sighed. There was no way I was going to get out of this one. I held the door open a little wider and she raced in, leaping onto the bed, then crossed her legs and nearly started to bounce up and down in anticipation, her strawberry-blonde braids whipping about..
“Calm down,” I said, unable to suppress a chuckle as I plopped myself down next to her. “It isn’t what you think.”
Her bright green eyes widened as she snorted. “Well, I should certainly hope not, seeing as he was the one trying to kill you only a few hours beforehand.”
“I know, I get nervous just being around him,” I began, but then realized that wasn’t entirely true anymore. “He wouldn’t really have killed me, though,” I murmured quickly, looking down as I played with the stitching of the quilt.
“No, I suppose you’re right,” she agreed, then snorted, “Maybe just maimed you, or caused irreparable damage.” I rolled my eyes, giving her a light shove.
“Okay, okay, but that still doesn’t explain what he was doing in here,” she said, growing serious again.
I sat there for a moment, considering my options. Not that there were many. “Fine, I’ll spill.”
I would simply have to leave out a few details. Like how a special healing paste was now covering my wounds.
Eyes bright, Aurora leaned a few inches forward, resting her chin in her palms in anticipation.
“Well I was in here alone, of course. I was looking at the damage his sword had done to me when I heard a knock on the door. I thought it was Rowan, so I just called for him to come in.”
“But it wasn’t Rowan,” Aurora interrupted.
“No, it wasn’t. I looked up and saw Coal. He was just standing there in the doorway. He came in for a second, apologized, said he wanted to make sure I was okay and hoped I could forgive him someday. Then he left. That’s it,” I shrugged.
Maybe she would leave it at that and not ask any more questions.
Aurora narrowed her eyes at me in suspicion. For some reason, this girl, who I’d only known not even a couple of weeks now, was already so easily able to tell when I was lying. I had a feeling she might actually become a true friend.
“Okay, that’s a start,” she persisted, “But you are clearly holding something back. What else happened? Did he just apologize and leave?”
“No, that wasn’t all. He…well, he stayed a while and helped take care of my injuries. Bandaged them up and stuff.” I glanced down at the white gauze covering my arm.
Surprise colored Aurora’s face. “Wow. Well, that was the last thing I was expecting to hear.”
“I know. I didn’t expect it either.”
There was a beat of silence. “So,” she began again, her narrow brows arching in thought as she drummed her fingers along her chin. “What happens now?”
I curled my legs up underneath me. “I don’t know. Nothing, I suppose. Just go back to our grueling days of training as usual.”
But instead of agreeing, Aurora stared knowingly into my eyes until I had to drop my gaze.
“No,” she said softly. “No, I think things are going to be different for you from now on.”
I shrugged my shoulders and lifted my gaze to the window, watching the bare trees blow harshly in the frigid morning wind. Maybe she was right.
✽✽✽
Two days came and went, and the first practice Emotion Challenge was about to begin. I didn’t feel ready. Mentally, I knew the people attacking us were just holograms and I wouldn’t really be killing anyone. But just pretending to do so, even if they were coming at me with a weapon, was difficult to comprehend. But I had to do it.
Not only that, I had to excel at it.
Entering the arena, I noticed that it had been reconfigured once again. Now, adorning three sides were wooden staircases, each leading up to a separate platform with multiple rows of benches. River stood halfway up the wooden staircase opposite us. He motioned us up the stairs and only once the final trainee was seated, did he begin.
“During this challenge, barriers will be in place so that you will not be able to see any of the other trainees in the stands, but they will be able to watch you. Each of you will have five minutes to fight. If you are hit, you’re done. No second chances.”
“First up today is…” he held out a hand, accepting the paper Flint pulled from the wooden box that held our names. For a moment he stared at it, his eyes tightening ever so slightly. And then…
“Sage!”
I let out a silent groan. Of course.
Shakily, I rose from my seat and slowly moved back down the stairs. Reaching the bottom, I took one last look at the trainees above. Everyone stared down, their eyes directed at me. It was unnerving. I glanced back to Aurora. She gave me an encouraging smile, but it lasted only for a brief second. Because as soon as my feet touched the floor, barriers rose up from the floor, just as River had promised, enclosing me in the room and cutting everyone else from view.
An elongated box lay on the floor, a large assortment of knives and spears sealed within its glass walls. Taking my position behind the box, I turned my eyes to the screen in front of me. Red numbers appeared, counting down from ten. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1…
The glass box disappeared. Vanished. Dropping down, I grabbed a spear, then shot back up, looking around wildly.
Almost immediately the first hologram figure appeared. He was clothed entirely in black, his face concealed by a mask, only his eyes visible. They were black as night, as if the pupils filled up his entire iris. Knife in hand, he darted towards me, preparing to throw it.
My breath froze momentarily at the realness of the image and I had to force myself to remember it was just that.
And to fight back.
Arching my arm behind me, I launched my spear at him with as much force as I could possibly muster. It sailed through the air but veered slightly to the right and hit him in the shoulder. He dropped the knife and vanished with a wisp. Even though it wouldn’t count as a kill, I had at least disarmed one.
As I bent down to grab another spear, a second man appeared. He was clothed in black as well, but unlike the other hologram, his face was uncovered. A gruesome, hideous face marked with scars, one eye gouged out, wild greasy hair falling around his shoulders. Clutching the wooden shaft in my hand, I whirled my body around to launch the spear, but this time my weapon flew too far left, not even making contact. His knife plowed towards me. I quickly side-stepped it and grabbed my own knife from the box this time. But just as I took aim, he disappeared and another figure took his place.
This one was different.
It was a middle-aged woman. She was thin and tall, dark curly hair falling around her shoulders. I started as she stared back at me.
She bore a disturbingly similar appearance to my mother.
The arm that clutched the knife went limp against my body. The woman appeared unarmed, both hands at her sides, one slightly hidden from my view by the long white dress she wore. I stood there, waiting for her to make a move, but she just gazed at me with a gentle smile.
I raised my arm again, knowing what I was expected to do, preparing myself to throw the knife, but then lowered it once more. How could I hit this woman? One who looked like my mother. Like me. Ordinary and harmless.
That moment of hesitation was all it took.
Quick as lightning, her arm whipped out from behind her and a sharp dagger came hurtling through the air. Hurtling directly towards me.
I dove to the ground, trying to get out of its way, but it was too late. The hologram spear ripped through my shoulder and upper back. The minute it penetrated my skin, a buzzer sounded, and the spear slowly dissipated into the air until, with a final wisp, it vanished completely.
I reached back, rubbing a hand over my shoulder, shocked to find no tear there; the experience felt so real. I rose shakily to my feet. The walls had disappeared now, and I could see everyone once again. And every single eye of the trainees in those seats was focused directly on me, just
as before.
I replayed the events in my head. I had hit only one hologram and it wasn’t even a lethal blow. The third one, a woman bearing an uncanny resemblance to my mother, killed me. That was it. In less than thirty seconds, I was dead. Pathetic.
River slowly moved down the stairs towards me. Closer and closer, my fear rising with each step, until he stood only a couple feet away. His muscular arms crossed over his chest as he stared at me, his normally light brown eyes darker than I’d ever seen them. Judging from the look on his face, he felt the same way about my performance that I did. Finally, he spoke.
“Not a single kill. Not one,” he muttered, then raised his voice. “If that is any indication of the best I can expect from all of you, then you are the most miserable bunch of trainees to ever come through here.” He leaned closer then and spoke directly towards me. “And if you hope to get through this successfully, you better improve. You were lucky in the Combat challenge,” he added, looking at me knowingly with those last few words and I trembled at his suddenly hateful glare.
Facing the rest of the trainees, he went on. “You were taught that an unarmed person is still a dangerous person. You don’t know what they are capable of. Let this be a reminder to you all: If you hesitate, you will fail.”
He turned, letting his wrath fall on me once more. “If this had been real, you would be dead,” he growled. “What happened just now better not occur again. Get back up to those benches and out of my sight!”
I scurried away as quickly as possible. Staring at my feet, I could feel my cheeks flaming from embarrassment.
River paced back and forth angrily along the floor for another minute, before ascending the wooden steps on the other side again while Flint picked the next name.
Over and over, more trainees completed the task. No one did nearly as poorly as I had. Even Ivy was able to kill two holograms. Aurora killed ten. Rowan didn’t do as well, but still managed to kill five and disarm two others. I tried to tell myself the problem was I had gone first and didn’t know what to expect. But even I didn’t believe that.
One of the last to go was Coal.
As soon as the count reached zero, he grabbed a spear and started throwing, one weapon after another. By the end of the five minutes, he had slaughtered almost every hologram that appeared and disarmed the rest. Not a single weapon even came close to hitting him. He climbed back to his seat and the next trainee began. But I couldn’t even watch anymore. I sat there, tears pricking at my eyes, struggling to keep it together. I couldn’t appear weak. Not here, not now.
Suddenly I felt the familiar sensation that someone was watching me and quickly turned my head in his direction. His blue eyes were intense, though his expression was unreadable. Against my better judgement I held his gaze for a moment, trying to read it, to decipher it.
And after a minute I saw it. Now obvious, clear as day. It was…concern.
Stiffening, I snapped my head away and stared straight ahead, trying to ignore him. The last thing I needed was his pity.
Finally, the last trainee completed the practice challenge. As soon as River dismissed us, I escaped. I had to get out of that arena as fast as possible.
I raced out before anyone could say anything to me, Aurora included, and, after grabbing a coat from my room, made my way down through the training field and to the pond, hoping the entire way that no one else was there, desperately needing to be alone. As soon as I reached the edge of the pines, I slowed to a walk, my breathing still heavy as I followed the small dirt path, finally coming into view of the water.
The sun reflected against the water’s surface, ripples dancing across. Light frost gathered at its edges. The silence was overpowering. It had been a while since I was somewhere so quiet, so seemingly untouched.
Making my way over to the bench, I pulled the gray duster around me and sat down, breathing in the fresh air. Wind whipped my long hair back from my face. The trees were completely bare now and the air smelled of the winter to come.
As much as I tried not to think about what just happened, I couldn’t help it. Everything flooded through me, all at once. The bawling out in front of everyone. The thought of all the other trainees watching me fail so miserably. The feeling of worthlessness that clung to me now. I couldn’t get through this. I might have a chance of learning to logistics of fighting. The way to hold a weapon, the motions. But how was I going to change myself on the inside to just react, to throw a weapon and not question who I was aiming it at first? How brutal it all was.
I hated what was happening to me here. What they were trying to make us become.
The floodgates opened and I didn’t care. Silent tears poured down my cheeks and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. Instead, I let them run down, turned cold by the bitter air. I stared at the beauty around me, not wanting to go back. Not to my temporary room here. Not home. I just wanted to stay in this calm, quiet, isolated place forever.
Suddenly a branch rustled behind me. I whipped my head around instinctively.
Standing there, barely hidden among the branches, was Coal. Watching me.
✽✽✽
I turned back around to face the pond, not acknowledging him. I didn’t even bother wiping my cheeks. He had already seen the moisture covering them so what was the point?
Soft footsteps sounded behind me as Coal came up to the bench and sat down next to me, but leaving several feet of space between us. Why was here? Especially now? Couldn’t he tell I wanted to be alone?
But he didn’t say anything. And so we sat there in silence, neither of us saying a word.
With each minute that ticked by, the silence became more uncomfortable. Eventually I couldn’t stand it any longer. “How did you know I was here?” I asked, surprised at how steady my voice came out.
“I saw you run down the path after River dismissed us. I came to see how you were doing.”
He said it so plainly and so honestly that for some reason it just made me angrier. Here I was at the lowest point I’d been since coming here. And instead of dealing and getting through it by myself, I now had this person who I barely knew, sitting here, asking how I was doing.
The memory of how well he’d just done in our training session sizzled through my brain.
“You should be able to tell just by looking at me how I’m doing. Now go away and leave me alone!” I bit out angrily, new tears threatening to spill over.
He turned his head away from me and gazed towards the water but didn’t leave. We just continued sitting there in the cold. So, in addition to everything else going on inside me, now guilt had been added to the mix. And I couldn’t take on even one more thing.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, looking down at my feet. “I didn’t mean that. It’s just…well, it’s…uggh, it’s everything,” I finally blurted out. And once I started, I couldn’t stop.
“I miss home, but I don’t want to go back to the life I had there. I miss Rowan. We never talk anymore and I know our relationship is disintegrating, but I don’t even know why. And I’m failing. You saw what happened today. You heard what River said.” I paused, taking a hitching breath. “Everything is falling apart around me, and I just don’t even know who I am anymore. I feel like I’m changing inside, like the old Sage is disappearing. And yet, despite all that, I don’t know that I’d miss her if she was gone.”
Another tear escaped, and I quickly swiped it away. What was happening to me? Why I was pouring all of this out to someone I barely knew? “I’m a mess, right?” I half-laughed, half-choked out.
He shifted his eyes over finally, watching me for a moment with an intense gaze. “I’m sorry,” he murmured slowly. “As much as I would like to help you, I can’t. Only you can figure out your relationship with this Rowan. And it’s true, I don’t know what kind of a person you were before coming here. What I do know, however, even if you can’t see it, is how strong you are now. Like the way you handled yourself when we had that sword fight. Most of the trainees here would
have been out in the first minute. Very few could have fought with the amount of strength, power, and determination you did.”
I shook my head sadly. “I’m starting to think that was just a fluke. Because the idea of fighting with weapons is still terrifying to me.”
He was quiet for a moment, pondering. “What about this? What about if I help you? I can help train you for the Emotion and the Combat Challenges.”
I gave him a weak smile, but shook my head. “I can’t accept that. I don’t want you to waste your time trying to coach me. It’s not fair to you.”
He sat silently, continuing to contemplate. The wind tore at his hair, tossing it about, several strands blowing across his face before he shoved them back.
“Fine, then let’s change the terms. Instead of me just helping you, we’ll help each other. I’m sure you’re doing far better in the Intellect Challenge practices than I am. Because I’m doing horribly. Same with Stealth training. So…,” he paused a second, thinking it over in his head. “So if you help coach me for those two challenges, I will train you for the Emotion and Combat Challenges. I’d say that’s a pretty fair trade. What do you think?”
I twisted to meet his eyes, studying them for a moment. Was this a trick? Why would he want to help me? But as I looked at his face, all I could see was genuine sincerity.
And truly it didn’t sound like such a horrible idea. I gave him a small smile. “Okay, I can agree to that,” I said, relieved at the change in terms he’d made.
“Then it’s a deal,” he replied and held out a hand. I placed mine in it, his large hand grasping firmly around my own. “Expect some intense training sessions,” he said grinning back.
He stood then and brushed some invisible dirt off his black pants. Even though I was chilled to the bone in the shade of the pines despite the thick duster I’d grabbed from my room, he wore only a thin, long-sleeved black shirt. He still had on that metal chain, though the carved symbol hanging from it was tucked into his shirt once again. Leather bands encircled either wrist, but the band that he usually tied his hair back with was missing today, and it fell around his face, the shortest pieces just grazing his chin. The few rays of sunlight managing to weave their way through the branches caught in it, highlighting the chestnut streaks.
Awakening Earth and Fire: Earth and Fire Trilogy Book 1 Page 17