Once at the station, I knocked on the door to my supervisor’s office. The main office was a wide square, housing a row of mini offices in an L-shape. The manager was not in today. He was never here on weekends. My supervisor was on the phone. She waved me in. Her desk and office were incredibly organized. She sat behind the desk, a look of exasperation plastered on her face.
I had missed this place sorely. All I wanted was to hop in an ambulance and speed off in any direction. It wasn’t only about the thrill or the odd calls that made me love my work. It was about the people who relied on me. It was about knowing that I made a difference. As cliché as it was, I chose this career because I loved helping others. When I was young, I was so wrapped up in my own heartaches, always thinking the worst of the world.
However, since I began this career, things improved dramatically for me. I saw people who struggled or let their weaknesses overpower them. The homeless, the drug addicts, and those having psychiatric emergencies. How could I dwell so heavily on my own life when I saw others at their worst? It was hard. There were days I wanted to quit. But, then where would I be? Who would I be? I was proud to be a paramedic.
Nothing would stop me from returning to work. Not Rikki, Rosemary, or even myself.
She hung up, putting her cell phone on the desk with some force. “Sorry about that. We keep jumping in and out level zero. That was medic seven-two. They had a cardiac arrest call and are now on their way here for more supplies.”
I smiled, not sure what to say.
“Follow me.” Supervisor Kelly rose from her chair, studying me and seemingly assessing my mobility. “I heard you’d been healing quickly.”
“Yeah…” I replied as I followed her.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
I shrugged, which was a waste of time since her back was turned to me. We went through the door and headed to the ambulance bay. I proceeded behind at a comfortable distance.
“I’m ready to get back to work,” I blurted out.
“I’m sure.” She laughed and kept walking.
I reminded myself that I had an abnormally fast recovery. If I pushed to get back to work too soon, it might raise questions. I didn’t want to have any more attention on me.
“Just missing the job,” I added with a nervous chuckle.
We went into the supply room, and I watched as Kelly began gathering extra stock.
“Everyone misses you. Even the fire crews,” Kelly joked, moving items from the shelves into a box.
I snorted and began helping her with the inventory. “I bet.”
“The reason I called you in today is because I heard what happened at the hospital.” She paused, looking to me for a quick answer. After a moment of waiting, she went back to collecting the rest of the supplies for medic seven-two.
My heart sputtered, unsure of what she was referring to and suddenly worried my job was on the line.
“You had a panic attack? Right?”
I clenched my jaw once I remembered that night. I hated that the hospital could be a hotbed of vile gossip at times. The so-called ‘panic attack.’ It was the night I could not sleep and decided to go to the hospital because I didn’t know where else to go. It was also the night I met Rikki.
I clicked my tongue twice. “Not my proudest moment.”
“Look…” She abruptly stopped talking when medic seven-two pulled up in front of the garage.
We approached the ambulance as the medics parked.
“Hey, Bonnie! Missing us?” Kenneth teased as the window of the rig rolled down.
“You wish.” I rolled my eyes, but I was concerned that he also knew about the hospital incident.
Kenneth was in the driver seat with a new partner at his side. We introduced ourselves and made small talk for a few minutes until a call came through on the radio.
“The life,” Kenneth remarked. “All right. It was good seeing you, Bonnie. Get back to work. Stop being lazy!”
The ambulance pulled out of the bay with its lights flashing. I smiled absently, wishing I could be with them in the rig.
“You’ll be back soon.” Kelly could see the longing in my eyes. “Let’s head back to my office.”
Once we returned to Kelly’s office and we were both seated, she pulled out a folder and held it open to me.
“The manager and all us sups want to ensure you make a full recovery. Since you weren’t injured while on duty, you aren’t eligible for workers’ comp, but if you like, we can put you on light work duty. It’s not ideal, I know, but it’s something to consider.” She flipped to the next set of papers. “These papers you will need to fill out to return to duty.”
I skimmed the papers. Apparently, I would need to be cleared by a doctor in order to return to work. It was reasonable, but I wondered if they would find anything abnormal.
“We would also like you to see a therapist. Your mental well-being is just as important as your physical well-being.”
“See a mental health professional?” I asked brusquely. I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was.
Kelly leaned back against her chair. “There’s nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. I see one.”
“I have a mentor. Can’t I just—”
“This is different. This is a personal trauma, and it must be taken seriously.”
I sighed, looking down at the papers.
“The sooner you see someone, the sooner you will be cleared.”
I knew she was right. Although, what was I supposed to tell a therapist? That I was attacked by a wolf that was actually a werewolf? Now I’m a werewolf too? I would end up in a mental institution.
“Thank you,” was all I could manage to say.
Kelly nodded. She laced her fingers together across her stomach. “Continue to heal, and please keep us updated. We all really want you back out there.”
“I appreciate that.” I stood. “See you soon.”
*
I knew trying to get back on duty would upset Rikki. It wasn’t the best idea, to be honest. I was new to this supernatural world. What if I lose control and attack a patient? I was so confused. I sat in my car in front of my house considering my options. Mindlessly scrolling through the numbers in my phone, I made a decision. I called Rosemary and asked her to meet me for drinks tonight.
For the next couple of hours, I tried to keep myself occupied so I wouldn’t think so much about everything that was going on, but I was unsuccessful. Anxiety got the better of me, so I opted to head to the bar where Rosemary and I planned to meet. I was early. It was a casual place. The owners made their affinity for wood painfully clear. Wooden tables. Wooden stools and chairs. Wooden walls and floors. I found a table tucked in the corner of the bar and made myself comfortable.
The bartender approached, smiling widely. Too many teeth showing for my comfort level. At least they were white.
“You’re new?” he asked, still smiling.
“Umm.” I smacked my lips, trying to come up with something witty to say. “Last I checked, I have been a semi-regular customer of yours, Bill.”
He grinned mischievously. “Huh. Well I’ll be damned, Bonnie. First round of drinks is on me.”
“Can you add two burgers with that?”
“Sure thing. Have to keep that appetite in check.” He winked and walked away, returning a moment later with my drink. “Those burgers will be right up.”
“Thanks.”
The bar door opened, and Rosemary strolled in, immediately spotting me at my table. She did not look happy.
“Something happen?” I asked when she arrived at the table.
“Of all the bars in town you choose this one,” she said exasperatedly.
I looked around, curious as to why she seemed so unhappy to be in this bar. “What’s wrong with it? I’ve been coming here for the last two years.”
Rosemary scoffed. “Of course you have. Becoming one of us was fate, it seems.”
“Hey, hey,” I snapped. I wanted her to
keep quiet about the wolf thing.
Rosemary gestured around the room. “This is a werewolf bar, Bonnie. You’ve been coming to a werewolf bar for two years!”
“Fuck me,” I muttered in disbelief, burying my face in my hands.
“You should really learn how to use your nose. You could have easily caught the scent of werewolves if you tried a little.”
“There’s a wet dog smell all over this place. How could I pick up the scent of werewolves?”
The looks I got from some of the bar patrons would have terrified Genghis Khan.
“Hey now. She was my favorite human. Give her a break,” Bill told the customers. “She doesn’t realize that’s how she smells now too.”
Maybe Rikki was right. She told me the other night that my mouth would get me in trouble. In the human world, I did just fine. But since the moment I was attacked, anything I said seemed to antagonize everyone around me.
“Say sorry,” Rosemary whispered to me across our small little table.
“Oh.” I looked up. “My bad. Sorry.”
In the space of a second everyone was relaxed again. No more stiff shoulders or random growls. When I looked at Rosemary, I noticed she was shaking a little. She was in a bar filled with dominant werewolves. I reached over the table and grabbed her hand.
“Sorry,” I said it to her this time. “I take it that you don’t go out to werewolf bars.”
“I do but only with a few dominant wolves in my pack. Not alone.”
“We can go,” I offered.
Bill returned to the table to deliver the two burgers.
“Welcome to the pack,” Bill whispered, leaning across the table so I would hear.
“Pack.” I let the word linger on my tongue, trying to embrace it.
“You are the new wolf everyone has been talking about,” he continued. “I am one of Rikki’s wolves.”
“Oh,” I replied, failing at being polite. I had no clue how to respond, especially since I still wasn’t sure of my own wishes regarding the pack.
He seemed to sense my discomfort and left Rosemary and me alone to talk.
I had already started eating when Rosemary asked, “Why did you want to meet up?”
“Just to talk.”
“Bullcrap.” Rosemary’s brow arched. “What did you do? And is it going to piss off our…” she noticed my frown from her referring to Rikki as our, and rephrased, “my Alpha?”
I pursed my lips, considering my answer. Technically, I hadn’t done anything wrong yet. I wiped my mouth with a napkin and cleared my throat with a gulp of beer. “Define actions that would piss her off?”
It was a reasonable question.
Rosemary groaned exaggeratedly. “Bonnie, not one day since your first shift and—”
“I never said I did anything wrong,” I clarified. Wait. Why am I acting concerned about what Rikki would think? “I’m asking a fair question.”
“You should probably just tell me what you did. Tato and a few from our… I mean, my pack will be here in the next 10 minutes.”
“What?” I snarled.
Rosemary shuddered.
Oops. “Sorry. I was hoping for a one-on-one. I’m not ready for a werewolf group outing.”
Rosemary rolled her eyes at my choice of words.
“Fine.” I needed to be quick. “My supervisor called me in today. She wants me to make the preparations necessary so that I can return to work.”
“Preparations,” she repeated.
“What I need to do in order to be cleared to work.”
“And you told her that you needed more time than you thought, right?” When I said nothing, Rosemary slammed her drink down. Probably a little harder than she had intended.
“Was I supposed to say that?” I asked.
“Yes,” she responded without hesitation.
I frowned. “This is my career! If I told her I needed time off, it would raise questions. They already want me to be cleared by a therapist as well as a doctor. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“And you don’t often hear about unsuspecting paramedics being attacked by a werewolf.” Rosemary finally took a bite of her burger.
“If werewolves are just walking around us every day, why haven’t we questioned others about this rogue pack?”
“That’s not something we need to discuss here.” Rosemary dropped her burger on her plate.
The bar went silent.
A surly-looking man approached our table. He appeared to be in his early 40s. The light grey in his black hair was striking. His eyes narrowed on me as he rested one of his hands at the back of my chair.
I stared at Rosemary in confusion. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Yes,” he growled, instantly catching my attention. “And I advise you to be quiet on the matter you were just discussing.”
I arched my brow, turning my gaze to him. Something snapped. “I’m sorry, I was only discussing the situation as to how I became a werewolf. Does my topic bother you because you were involved—”
No other words could escape my mouth. He rammed his fist into my chest in one fluid motion. It felt like being hit by a steam shovel. I wheezed as I flew out of my chair. I collapsed, gasping for air. I twisted to my side. I could barely breathe from the pain.
My vision was blurry, but I could make out Rosemary’s form. She was hunched over on her knees in fear. She had begun to shift.
I heard something click. I looked up. It was Bill, and he was pointing a shotgun at the man who assaulted me. “You made a fucking mistake touching her.”
“She should learn her place!” the man roared.
The door swung open, and I could hear grumbling and angry words being exchanged. Then, there was nothing. Then, it was all black.
Chapter Twelve
I shuddered, sensing heat on my skin. I shifted my body against soft cushions. A powerful wave of nausea contorted my stomach into iron knots. I wanted to vomit but that would require me to move, and that was not going to happen. I would have rather aspirated on my vomit.
I heard light but determined footsteps. A chair slid across the floor.
“Can you open your eyes?”
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly in protest for exactly eight seconds before trying to open them. The light in the room was miserably bright.
“Where am I?” My voice sounded gravelly.
I blinked rapidly, taking a moment to adjust to the brightness in the room. I was in Rikki’s shed. My chest hurt, but my collarbone was no longer broken. All that was left was some bad bruising and pain.
“How long have I been out?”
“Several hours.” Rikki was leaning forward in her chair, her hands in her lap.
One of her legs was shaking erratically. Rage emanated from her like heat from a campfire.
I sat up slowly and not without difficulty. I was on her couch. What could I say? I’d rather not have her blow up at me.
“I’ll leave.” I moved to the edge of the couch, endeavoring to put distance between us.
“Sit. Back. Down.” Every word was slow and terrifying.
“I’m really not in the mood for this.”
“Now, Bonnie.” Her eyes were gold when they met mine. She was gnashing at her inner bottom lip. She took a deep breath. “How do you feel?”
“I’m fine, mother.” I made no attempt to hide my sarcasm.
“You think what happened is a joke? Do you know what could have happened?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Challenging an unknown werewolf is dangerous even on the best of days but challenging one when you are a newborn wolf is just plain moronic.” She stood abruptly, and in the blink of an eye she sped from her chair to the fireplace that was four feet away. “You risked your life. Rosemary’s life!”
“I didn’t do anything wrong.” I scowled in defiance. “I never threatened—”
“Mockery. Rude remarks. Sarcasm. You were basically telling that werewolf that you di
dn’t take him seriously. That he is unimportant. That you are not concerned about what he can do to you.”
“I wasn’t.” I pressed my hand against the pain in my ribcage. “He butted into my conversation. He had no right—”
“Perhaps not.” Rikki’s eyes narrowed again as she interrupted me once more. She returned to her chair in front of me. “You can’t continue to speak to others as you do to humans. You are no longer a human. And to a werewolf…if you use sarcasm or any form that can be a means to challenge them, they have a right to prove they are the stronger werewolf. Living as dominant wolves, that means something. For you…an Omega…your life is doubly at risk. You are not capable of submitting unless you truly choose. And to werewolves that is another slap in their faces.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t ask for this. Fuck this. Fuck you and your fucking…crazy ass rules!” I waved my hands frantically. “I am not a freaking coward and I will not let anyone come at me the way he did. Fuck that.”
“Then you will die.” Both her tone and expression were grave. Sincere.
“Perhaps I should have died when I was attacked.”
I knew it was anger and grief speaking. Why was I feeling so overwhelmed with emotions?
“I can’t. I will not be belittled. Degraded. For anyone. Never. It is not in my nature to bow.” I wiped my tears as they fell. The frustration of this conversation broke my emotional barrier into tiny fragments.
“I am not asking you to submit to any man or woman who offends you.” Her look told me she had a but coming. “Yet, you are in a new world. You will die within the first year if you don’t understand…there is a new language you must learn. And in that, you will learn how to defend yourself from those who challenge, question, or offend you without starting a fight. You cannot avoid this.”
“I just don’t see how this is my fault. I didn’t want to fight—”
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