I undid his pants and felt his bare chest against mine as he climbed up against me with just enough space in the room to lay half against the opposing wall. My thighs shook as his hand gently parted my legs, and the hard tip of his cock just barely touched the place where he would enter me. He held his body right there, pressing me just enough to let me know he was there, but just out of reach of my begging desire as I tried to urge my body up against him.
“Do you want me?” he asked.
“Yes,” I panted breathlessly.
There was a small thought in the back of my mind that tried to break through the climbing sensation. But the thought persisted until I couldn’t ignore it any longer as I lingered on the brink of expectation.
It’s not Adam.
I knew it wasn’t him. It wasn’t his voice. It wasn’t the way that his body felt against mine as it had the last time. I knew who it was, and a part of me, as much as I was consumed with rabid hatred…still wanted him.
“Here I am,” he said. “All you need to do to have me is within reach of one, small movement, Lisette.”
I froze. My body, my thoughts, everything was frozen. I felt the pulsing throb at the rim of his body, pressing with the most subtle, steady pressure against me, and my thighs were shaking uncontrollably.
“You know who I am,” he whispered as he put his tongue in my mouth and talked without taking it out. “And yet you still don’t back your body away from me. Tell me why that is.”
I felt as if I shook any more that my muscles were going to seize as I tried to fight back against the urge to bring my body down around him and push him into me.
How can this be happening?
This was the agony Adam had told me about, and he was right. I would have taken a thousand thorns to the heart rather than to go through the torment of my mind and body being wrapped around each other, and the line between passion and hatred being bled together. But then I noticed something else.
He was trembling too.
He, who thought he had the upper hand, who thought that he was the one dangling me on the end of insatiable longing…he was shaking too. I felt the quake of his hips against mine and noticed the twitching of his chest muscles against my skin. He thought he was in control, but he wasn’t.
And that was all I needed to regain my focus.
I twirled my tongue around his furiously and felt him gasp as I pulled his chest into mine with a forceful slam as my back pressed up against the wall even harder. I felt his body heave as he struggled to hold himself between my thighs at just the right spot without entering me. And then I did something that would show him I was not to be trifled with.
That I could outdo his level of restraint.
I rocked my hips forward and pushed down against him just enough to put the head of his swollen lust inside me, but not enough to give him the satisfaction of claiming my virginity. I felt his body convulse as he reflexively started to push his hot, hard body deeper into mine. But before he could get any further, I pressed my hand against his chest and held my pelvis locked where it was as I whispered in his ear and felt his heart pound against me.
“How’s this, Michael?”
10
There were several more days of mortifying initiation, none of which were as unconscionable as the first, though.
Immediately following the incident with Michael, I was put back into the apartment and subjected to most things that now seemed only mildly annoying and inconvenient in comparison, but I suppose it would seem like torture to others; hours of interrogations to questions pertaining to my motives, hollow threats and small bouts of physical challenges that I had to overcome to prove my allegiance. And at the end of the vetting process I got a strict warning by Marta.
Then I was formally “welcomed” into Lineage.
But although I managed to sail through the rest of the process like it was a breeze, the time in the stone room with Michael was equivalent to a hundred thorns of suffering to me.
How did Michael know that would nearly break me? I hated him, and he hated me. What would ever give him the idea that being seduced by him might have brought me to my knees?
When I had gotten back to the apartment, Adam looked worried sick and brought me immediately back to his room and wrapped me in a dozen blankets as if being warm and snuggly would help make it all go away. He asked me what had happened, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him.
To be honest, I wasn’t even sure what had happened.
Michael acted as though none of it had ever existed, though. When I left Adam’s room to go to the bathroom and get some water from the kitchen, Michael just stared at me from across the room and said nothing. The nose ring that he had used to try and fool me with was now gone, which had been a clever trick. But even though he didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to. Anytime that the three of us were around each other in the apartment, there was a heavy and palpable tension that filled the air. Michael pretended not to know anything about what had happened during my initiation, and Adam either believed him or at least acted like he did.
Which was probably better for all of us.
When my transfer was finalized and Marta had signed off on it, everyone now had to accept me as both a colleague at Lineage and as Adam’s girlfriend. My things were sent over from Goldshire, and Adam made space for me in their apartment. Michael was quieter than usual, which we both found surprising, and he kept mostly to himself like a predator lying in the shadows in wait. I had been able to convince Adam to escort me to the big tree at the edge of the grounds where Julian and I had once hidden within its branches so that I could talk to Julian for just a few minutes and explain what I had done.
But, he wasn’t happy with me.
Adam probably wouldn’t have agreed, but since he could tell I had been through something awful during the initiation (but just couldn’t tell what it was), I was finally able to wear him down until he agreed to go with me and keep watch while Julian and I talked. He arranged for Julian to meet us there, and I vowed to myself to figure out how Adam was so easily able to sneak around both campuses without ever getting caught.
When we arrived, Julian was more unhappy than I had ever seen him before. Not only was he upset that I had lied to him and disappeared without telling him what I was doing, but he was also visibly jealous after hearing that I was now “officially” Adam’s girlfriend. If he knew what had happened in the stone room with Michael, I am certain he would have never forgiven me.
It was best that no one ever found out about that.
As soon as we saw each other, I ran up to hug Julian, and he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I said, trying to hold in my tears.
“I’ve missed you too,” he said. He pulled his head away to look in my face. “Lisette, why did you do it? You told me you wouldn’t.”
“I know,” I said as I started to cry.
I couldn’t ever seem to hide my emotions with him. “I’m so, so sorry, Julian. I had to.”
“I know,” he said as he pulled my head down onto his shoulder and stroked the back of my hair. “I know why you did it. I just wish you would have admitted things and not lied.”
I cried quietly against his shoulder for a few minutes as he patiently held me. I thought about when we were kids, and I had fallen off the top of my treehouse. Julian was there, and he caught me before I crashed onto the ground and likely would have broken a leg or an arm. He was always catching me, even now.
“Are they treating you okay?” he asked when I finally looked up.
“Yeah,” I said.
It wasn’t a total lie. Now that the vetting was finished, they were treating me just fine. I didn’t see any need to burden him with the knowledge of how awful the past several days had been. It was over, and that was the end of it. Even Michael seemed to have moved on.
“And what about Adam?” he asked.
I blinked. “What about him?”
“Well, he’s your new boyfriend now…or so I’ve heard.”
“Don’t go getting all jealous,” I teased, although there was some truth to why he might be. “I still kind of hate him.”
Julian laughed, but it was a sad sort of laugh.
“It’s just an arrangement to get me in here,” I said.
“Does he know that?” Julian asked as he shot a look in Adam’s direction.
I peeked over my shoulder. “Yeah, I think so.”
We talked for a little while longer until Adam signaled that it was time to get going before we risked being seen. And it killed me to move away from Julian. In the space between his body and Adam’s, I felt more vulnerable than I’d ever felt in my entire life.
Even during that moment where the entire world stilled as I gazed upon my mother’s failed body.
“I’m still here watching over you, Lisette. I always will be no matter what,” Julian said as he kissed me gently.
I saw Adam shift restlessly on his feet as he watched that.
“I don’t care what campus you’re on, or what rules I need to break in order to protect you. I’ll always be there when you need me,” Julian said.
“I know,” I replied. “And hey, when this is all over, let’s move as far the hell away from here as we can get.”
Julian laughed again, this time, it was a happy sound. “You’ve got yourself a deal, gorgeous.”
As soon as I turned around to leave, Adam took my hand, and we walked quickly back toward the apartment together. Tomorrow I would have to start my classes there, but that night, I would think about Julian and all that I had left behind, at least temporarily.
I took one last look over my shoulder to see if he was still standing there, but Julian was already gone.
And while I should have felt alone, Adam’s reassuring grip reminded me that I wasn’t.
My class schedule here had plenty of holes in it in which meant that I could start snooping around on campus. But I decided that for at least the first week, I should lay low and remain as inconspicuous as possible. So, I stuck to making my way through classes and staying beside Adam as much as I could.
Michael became more and more visibly unhappy that I was there at all, and he didn’t hold back from taunting me at every opportunity he could get. He and Adam weren’t talking as much or spending time together as much as they had previously. Mostly because Adam was constantly with me, and any time I was around, Michael acted like a playground bully.
It was when Adam wasn’t around that Michael was at his worst. Things like blocking my way into or out of a room, whispering threats about finding me underground in the cemetery, and teasing me about ending up like my mother, were the everyday occurrences that I was just getting numb to, which made them easier to ignore. But during the few times Michael caught me alone, it left me feeling shaken and with a growing sense of panic. It wasn’t so much what he did or said, but rather the way that he looked at me, like he couldn’t help but want to kill me.
I mentioned it to Adam, but he reassured me that Michael looked at everyone that way and that he wouldn’t let him hurt me. I believed that he meant what he said but doubted whether or not anyone could actually protect me from Michael once he finally decided what awful thing he was going to do to me.
Being in the apartment together was even worse. At least on campus, there were lots of eyes watching all of the time, and I doubted that Michael wanted to get caught crossing his mother. But at the apartment, even though Adam and I were essentially inseparable most of the time, there were moments when I was alone. When Adam took a shower, I would lock his bedroom door and stay inside his room until he returned. But even then, sometimes I would hear Michael’s quiet footsteps walk to just outside the bedroom door and stop. Once I even went to the door and pressed my ear to the wooden panel to hear if Michael had left and gone down the hall. But instead, I heard his labored breathing on the other side of the door as if we were breathlessly still stuck inside the moment in the dark, stone room. I was too afraid and too enthralled to take my ear away from the door until I heard the shower water turn off and heard Michael walk away. It was those moments that caused me to be afraid.
The following week, I began to carefully stray off on my own a little bit more. I always made sure to have my cell phone in hand, just in case Michael tried to follow me, and I found myself in some dangerous situation that warranted my calling Adam for help. I started by creeping around the main offices, trying to get my hands on anything that seemed to stick out as being unusual or out of place.
And I was surprised by how quickly something reared its suspicious head.
As I was pretending to be lost and looking for the maintenance office to register a repair request for faulty shower pressure in the apartment, a wadded-up piece of Lineage letterhead caught my eye in a trash can just outside the office. I never would have noticed it at all if the image of that letterhead in the trash hadn’t been a memory ingrained into my brain. I looked around to make sure no one was watching me and then picked the paper out of the trash can and unfolded it.
Impossible, I thought as I looked at the name signed to the bottom of the letter…Jack White.
What reason could my deceased father’s name possibly have for being on the bottom of this letter? I skimmed the writing and saw that it looked mostly like a ledger filled with dollar amounts and a few scattered comments about bank transfers and names, one of which was Marta’s. I started to read the letter from the top but jumped and dropped it onto the floor when one of the maintenance workers came up behind me and asked me what I was doing there.
I launched into an explanation about my water pressure, which sounded much more believable in my head than it did once it started spewing out of my mouth, and he ushered me into his office to fill out a work order. However, by the time we had finished and I had walked out of his office, the letter was gone.
Shit! Are you kidding me!?
I wanted to text Julian and tell him what I had found, but I knew that reaching out to him via a very trackable message chat was a bad idea. So instead, I tried to think of all the possible reasons that the letter, with my father’s name signed to it, would have been in that trash can. The most plausible thing that I could come up with was that since the maintenance office was old, and since the workers were likely always renovating old parts of the campus buildings that hadn’t been renovated in years, the letter was probably just found somewhere while they were cleaning out and it got thrown in the trash as they soon as they got back to the office.
I tried to convince myself that that was a perfectly reasonable explanation, but it still didn’t sit well in my gut.
That night we ate dinner in the dining hall instead of in the apartment because both Adam and I needed a break from Michael. But much to our dismay, Michael showed up in the dining hall to join us there anyway. He didn’t just come for dinner, though.
He came to start something.
I had just stuck a corner of bread in my mouth when Michael walked up to the opposite side of the table and smacked a piece of paper down in front of us. I could see through the spread of his fingers that it was Lineage letterhead.
“Care to explain yourself?” he said, glowering at me.
“What is it now, Michael?” Adam asked.
It was clear that Michael’s attitude as of late was wearing on Adam increasingly too.
“Your girlfriend is playing you for a fool,” he snarled. “She’s going to end up causing bigger problems than you will be able to handle.”
“What are you talking about?” Adam asked. “What’s with the paper?”
“Why don’t you ask Lisette,” Michael said as he turned his eyes to me. “Find anything interesting in the trash lately?”
Damn it.
I could see the crumbled edges beneath his hand now: it was the same letter from the maintenance office. That explained why it was gone when I went out to look for it again. Michael was tracking me, and now
I had proof of it. It didn’t matter, though. The letter had nothing to do with me, and no one could prove that I’d ever seen it.
I didn't know how Michael got the letter—at least, that’s what I wanted to convince myself of—but he had no reason to think I would admit to having picked it up.
“Let me see it,” Adam said as he held his hand out.
Michael put the letter in his hand and gloated. I wanted to look over Adam’s shoulder and see what the letter said. I never had gotten a chance to read it earlier in the office.
“So, what seems to be the problem?” Adam asked once he finished reading it and tossed it back across the table to Michael. “This letter has nothing to do with Lisette.”
I was surprised by how calm and collected Adam seemed to be in the face of what was bound to result in Michael’s fury.
“It’s signed by her father, you dumb piece of shit!” Michael hollered at him.
“I know who her father is,” Adam said as he took a bite of food without even bothering to look up at Michael, who was now leaning over the table onto his hands.
He snarled. “Then perhaps what you don’t know is how close she is to—”
“Go on,” Adam said as he matched eyes with Michael. “Say it. Finish the rest of that sentence. How close is she to what?”
Michael swept his arm across the table, knocking all the food and dishes in front of us onto the floor. He made a lunge that looked as if he was going to jump across the table and grab me as he threatened to drag me up to Marta’s office on the grounds of expulsion.
But Adam stood up and flipped the table over right in front of him, knocking Michael backward by sheer surprise alone. The look of shock on his face made me think that Adam had never stood up to him like that before. Michael looked a little hurt even, as though he had thought of them as brothers and had been harshly reminded that they weren’t.
Ruined: A Dark Bully Reverse Harem Romance (Beautiful Tyrants Book 1) Page 7