I shook my head because I didn’t know.
Lucifer had been thrown down into this twilight punishment and had created a world from nothing. He’d saved the rest of the vampires from becoming like the Pure and the humans from being slaughtered. Despite everything, how couldn’t I admire that?
Yet…the screams in the Fire Catacombs… Key with barbwire in his mouth… Ash reduced to plaything for the FF…
And Ash’s sisters — the Bloods — who stood next to Ash, huddled and sniffling...
When the hell had they been brought here?
I glanced back at Lucifer, and his grin flipped my guts in a way that told me everything I didn’t want to know. “I need my queen by my side, not trapped beneath my feet.”
Why did I squirm with desperate pride at his words, even as I shook at what they’d mean? Because I couldn’t offer him the unconditional loyalty that he wanted. I wouldn’t obey a dictator.
I yelped, as the lights dropped me, catching myself in a crouch. “No kid is taking my place in that torture chamber.”
Yet when I turned, Ash was shuffling forward with his arms around his sisters’ shoulders. Lucifer didn’t look away from the Brigadier who’d once saved him from my mum; I realized that this was as much about Ash as it was about me.
“You told me, Violet, that I was the only one who hadn’t sacrificed,” Ash said, not lowering his gaze from Lucifer’s. “You lost Jade. Rebel lost Haman. So, now I lose my sisters.”
Lucifer’s smile was too close to a bloke trying to look sombre when he wanted to dance the victory jig. How much of all this…the tests…had been about destroying Ash? And doing it in front of me?
When Ash loosened his hold on his sisters, they whimpered.
“Enough.” My wings arced behind me in violet flares. “I won’t make this choice. I’ve already made it wrong — twice — before. I’ve jumped through your blood and bone hoops but I won’t sacrifice children just to prove that you can trust me.” I faltered, and my voice was smaller than I’d intended, “You said that you loved me.”
“I do.” Lucifer gripped my shoulders. When his lip trembled, he looked young again and as lost as I felt. Were those fire tears real? “But I warned you that I’d put my people first. All I wanted…” His distress drove the breath from me. “I didn’t ask for your love, only your loyalty. But you kill humans. Don’t kill my enemy. And now? Refuse to obey me.”
Suddenly, Lucifer grew, until he towered above me. Light, the same as the living whirlwind that’d reduced the angels to ash swirled around him, as his wings beat, gusting against my cheeks. His eyes burnt in mesmerizing stars. He was a creature of fire and death.
I cowered before him. I’d flown too close to the sun, and now my wings would be melted.
22
Lucifer’s light spun twister-like around his giant shoulders: cold and cruel.
I choked on the bonfire ash that hovered in the musty air of the Bones, as I stared up at ballooned Big Bad that my dad had become. When the metal floor clinked and rattled from the passing of a train above, and the walls pulsed, I jumped, gritting my teeth.
Lucifer peered down at me. “I am your king,” he bellowed. I shrank back, even as my palm itched for Flight. “The Bloods will be your sacrifice.”
“Fam, fam, fam,” the Bloods whispered, as if it was a spell that could save them, in tiny voices raspy from disuse but formed enough that they must secretly talk to each other when they were alone. They scampered to my side, hiding under the shelter of my wings. “Protector.”
I didn’t understand Ash’s gasp or the way that he fell to his knees in front of Lucifer.
Why was he kneeling for Lucifer, instead of me?
“Forgive me.” Why was Ash weeping? “Please… When will I have…? What will be enough? I bet… A bargain. Anything.”
“Na-ah, you have nothing left to bargain with that I can’t simply take. You’re worthless, Seducer.” Ash flinched through his tremors at Lucifer’s harsh refusal. “And soon, you’ll also be alone.”
“Don’t…please…” Ash bowed lower to the ground.
“Pop quiz. Who taught the little ones to speak?”
I stiffened, flushing.
Mischief’s glance at me was equal parts sad and disappointed. When Ash turned to look at me, however, betrayal crawled in his stare.
I crushed the Bloods closer to my chest. “No one told me your psycho rules.”
“Yet you still broke them. Bloods are silenced until they prove themselves more than pictures of our story. Come here, little ones, to your king,” Lucifer beckoned to Ash’s sisters.
The Bloods stared up at me with wide eyes. Yet Lucifer’s power seared, illuminating the Bones: a twisting light that coiled around him, as we knelt in his shadow.
If I fought Lucifer, I’d be reduced to ash, and I wouldn’t have saved the Under World as I’d promised.
Hell, why was it so hard to be a leader? To sacrifice…? But Ash had done it. Was doing it now with his own sisters.
Could I do the same with Jade?
I forced myself to push the Bloods away from the shelter of my arms towards Lucifer.
Lucifer encircled the Bloods with his cape like they’d been slicked in oil. “Rejoice.” His smile was sickly sweet, but his words sounded rote, just like Wild’s had in the Fire Catacombs. “Today you’ll walk in Lucifer’s Light.”
My stomach lurched, and I swayed; Rebel caught me. Ash keened, covering his head with his wings.
I’d been arrogant, too steeped in humanity to understand the ways of the Under World. By teaching the Bloods to call me fam and look to me for protection, I’d condemned them to die.
I’d sacrificed them, after all.
“P-please,” I stammered. “I’ll obey you.”
“You’ll watch.” Lucifer stroked over the Bloods’ tattooed heads. “And you’ll never forget. Then we’ll see if you’ll obey. Even if…you can’t love me.”
Fire tears fell onto the inked heads of the Bloods. Just as tears streaked down my cheeks and Ash’s. Trapped together in our hurt, to pass the test two little girls would die sacrificial in the flames.
Lucifer’s Light — the flickers inside the archway on the garbage island — cast a stench, like leather being tanned over flames, which stuck in my throat.
I gagged on the scent of death.
Alone with Ash, I couldn’t meet his gaze. He stared out over the river at the dragon breaths across the Fire Catacomb’s ponds.
Except, we weren’t alone.
Lucifer’s fairy spies wove between us. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my trousers to stop myself swatting them. Because with them watching — Lucifer’s eyes — I couldn’t talk to Ash about our rebellion or why we were standing here, waiting for his sisters to be delivered to their fiery deaths.
Tell me there’s a way to save these kids, J, don’t make me do this.
No one’s making you do anything, Violet-heart.
This is your choice.
How? It’s the king’s order and Ash’s sacrifice.
Are you a leader or a pussy?
One day, every carnival has to stop. Anarchy has a price, but so does freedom.
Light the revolution. Then stand back and watch the fireworks.
But what will I have to watch first?
“Tell me to stick it.” I glanced sideways at Ash. “All of it.”
The lights hummed, hovering closer.
Ash didn’t look round at me, but I knew that he understood the unspoken: my sacrifice to Lucifer, our escape, the rebellion…anything to stop his sisters’ execution.
He hugged his arms across his bare chest. “You don’t mean it.”
Hell, that hurt.
I caught Ash’s arm, swinging him around, as if I had the right to touch him — force him to look at me — after I’d condemned his sisters to die by teaching them to call out to me.
Just like I’d called out to the angels.
My boots caught in the rubbish
; rotting cartons skittered down the sides.
“I bastard do.” I trembled, desperate for him to believe in me. Trust me, like he always had. “I’ll take on the whole Under World to save your sisters.”
Ash’s gaze was hollow, as if he’d been burned out from the inside. “So, it goes rescue them, escape…then what? Go where? Lucifer is the only one who lights the way out of the Under World, and his routes are guarded. My sisters would die just the same, and we’d have condemned ten more kids.”
“You can’t simply accept this.”
Ash tore himself from my grasp. “Accept my sisters being put to death because you developed a god complex?” He shook with cold despair. “You want to come over with a Spielberg moment? I fought the angels for centuries, and when that bastard…” The lights whined, nipping at Ash, whilst he bared his fangs. “…reduced me to Seducer, I fought it too. But look,” he raised his arms, “still a Fallen whore. What has fighting ever got me?”
“Me,” I murmured, cupping his cheek. At last, he met my gaze, and something flickered: more life than the emptiness that’d made my heart clench before. “I’m a newbie to bastard hope. I never had it before, but certain angels and vampires showed me that I could have fam and they could have my back. There’s nothing Spielberg about our type of hope: it’s dark, dirty, and tainted. But we can still fly on it.”
I remembered the boy Blood’s terror as he’d wailed, stumbling towards the archway.
My choices were terrible, but maybe I could offer hope, saving Ash’s sisters in the only way that I could.
When Wild’s bat-like shadow soared through the gloom, Ash and I stiffened, on instinct drawing closer to each other.
“Where’s the Light-bringer himself?” I whispered.
Ash clasped my hand so tightly that I winced, but I didn’t draw back. I understood and I was glad that at least he wasn’t alone for this, like he had been last time…or that I wasn’t because what I was about to do would slash me to ribbons.
“He doesn’t need to be here,” Ash growled, “because he’s already got what he wanted.”
How long had Lucifer been planning this?
Wild landed, pulling one Blood off his shoulders like a backpack, and the other off his waist. They clung to him, however, in spider monkey mode, trembling.
They knew what lay behind that archway.
Taking a deep breath, I forced a smile on my face, even though it felt as fake as a clown’s. I sauntered to Wild, who scrutinized me like I’d gone mental under the strain.
“Come on, wench, it’s no use making a fuss.” Wild inched his hand towards the leather strap at his waist, as if all I needed was a belting to keep me in line. “Go and play up your end, whilst I deal with the king’s orders.”
“Back off, fascist-lite,” I snarled.
To my surprise, Wild raised his hands and stepped back. “Throw a tantrum if you like. This will still end the same way.”
I curled the edges of my mouth back into a smile, before ducking down in front of the Bloods. They quivered, clutching my shoulders.
“First,” don’t cry, I mentally slapped myself, as I announced brightly, “I’m proud that you called me fam.” Ash gasped behind me, and I willed him not to storm closer. “I’ll always be your Protector, and you’re special because you spoke to me. You know what that means?” They shook their heads, but they’d stopped trembling and were studying me. “I’m inked on you, yeah? Part of you? So, when you walk into Lucifer’s Light…after…when you wake up…you’ll be in the true light.” Hell, their eyes were shining with awe and excitement now…and desperate hope. I swallowed, holding them tighter. “It’ll be legendary. You’ll be the bitches in charge because you’re the Protector’s fam: full Fallen, not Bloods. You’ll be flying on epic wings and…” I wet my lips. “You’ll be free.”
I gently disentangled Ash’s sisters from around my neck, and they held hands. They smiled, and my smile this time was real, although my eyes gleamed with tears.
Ones that I didn’t let fall.
I stood, as the Bloods strolled hand in hand towards the fire through the archway like it led to paradise, rather than hell.
“Rejoice, your king has ordered your sacrifice. Today, you walk into Lucifer’s Light. Thank him in your bones and blood for the honor,” Wild intoned.
Ash dragged his sisters into a final hug. For a moment, I didn’t think that he’d let them go. It was them, however, pulling away from him and slipping into the crevice beyond the archway, whilst the fires dimmed.
Clank — the steel door crashed down.
I jumped, backing away.
Hell, this couldn’t happen.
“Fight, chaos, war,” Devil raged, burning in my pocket.
My fingers inched towards him…
Then Ash caught me by the elbow, yanking me to the viewing panel. “Watch,” he hissed. “You don’t get to not watch. Neither do I.”
The Bloods raised their tiny fingers to their side of the panel. Ash and I raised our fingers to touch the ghost of theirs; Ash’s hand brushed mine.
Tears matted my eyelashes, as I struggled to match the soft smiles of the Bloods. “I’m sorry—”
“Don’t you dare cry,” Ash’s voice was broken; thick with swallowed tears. “Not until…” his voice hitched, “…only after…”
Fierce light blasted through the furnace: it burnt the back of my retinas, spectered it with dancing ghosts. But I didn’t look away or shield my eyes.
Because I deserved to see. To witness. And never forget.
Whilst Ash’s sisters were burned alive, their hands still reached out to ours, and they never screamed.
Because they’d believed that they’d been freed.
Afterwards, I collapsed against the door, finally allowing the hot tears to scold my cheeks.
“I lied,” I howled. “I’m just like my dad. I sent them walking into the fire on my lies.”
To hell with the firefly spies spitting in their fury. My dad was a dictator and if he wanted to buy my loyalty through sacrifice, then he’d discover that he’d just bought my undying loyalty to the freedom fighters.
Ash sagged next to me; the tears on his cheeks mingled with mine. “You gave them hope: dark, dirty, and tainted. But for the first time in their lives they flew. And let me…” He choked on a sob. “…Imagine a bit longer that they’re still flying.”
Ash closed his eyes, still pressed against the door, as his sisters’ ash settled.
I seethed, flushing hot and cold through my grief. Violet and black raged with a single screamed thought: depose the king.
Yet I shrank from its danger because just as insidious underneath rippled the whispered: then take up the crown yourself as Queen of Chaos.
Lucifer had freed a monster, and I shuddered because it also flew on hope.
The pulsing scarlet block hung between us in Mischief’s bunker.
Grrrrrr.
The slab snarled, bucking bad-temperedly. Mischief bopped the stone thorn that stuck out of its middle, as if it was the block’s nose.
Harrumph.
The Gateway — magical books that Harahel had used to train me, whilst I’d been in Angel World — rippled like it was shrugging its shoulders. It quietened.
“I will not be witness to another such travesty, kneeling as nothing more than the king’s puppy.” Mischief pursed his lips.
“With you, bro. But why are we here together, whispering in corners? I need to be with… Ash shouldn’t be alone.”
“How droll that you believe only you cast a shadow in the world. He’s not alone: he’s with an angel who knows far more of comfort and loss than you.” When I flinched, Mischief grazed the back of his hand against mine. “Allow others their talents and the Brigadier the respect to fall apart without you as audience.”
I swallowed. “Rage: it’s holding him together.”
Mischief’s laugh was low. “Isn’t that true for us all, beast?”
My palms sparked at Misc
hief’s beast disrespect. “I’m trying…”
Mischief’s smile was all teeth: he could feel the static crackling between our joined hands. “Don’t get me wrong, I love mayhem and mischief but…” The look he leveled at me was shrewd. “The king whirls with orgiastic chaos in a crazy carnival where you play or burn. Instead, I spy. Misrule plots. And…what do you do again…?”
I dragged my hand out of Mischief’s, shoving him back. The Gateway rumbled, jumping up and down between us.
“I save your ungrateful arse.” I gripped Devil in my pocket; his power thrummed through me, dark and enticing. “I stand beside my dad, the puppet that you need to convince the Under World to rise up. Weren’t three tests enough? Isn’t stabbing my own dad in the back rating high enough on the Trust-O-Meter?”
Mischief grasped my arm, swinging me around the block and close to his side, before murmuring, “Yet you don’t even know why the Queen of Chaos has been summoned. What do you believe your true role to be?”
His breath against my skin tingled; I shivered.
“That’s why you brought out the freaky book? I thought these were only in Angel World?” I peeked up at his intent gaze.
Mischief gave me a cool look, before turning me to face the Gateway. “Harahel would spank me, even in my sweetest unicorn disguise, if he discovered that I stole his books. Yet my secret library, which my magic unlocks, is why I’m never alone. I assure you, however, I can share.”
Mischief grabbed my hand, ramming it onto the stone thorn in the center of the slab.
My blood dripped onto the stone, melding with the Gateway, whilst it roared. I wailed, writhing, but I was already caught in the pull into the block.
Electric currents juddered through me. Torn into a million itty pieces — and hell was it screwed sideways that the sensation of being ripped up like tissue paper was becoming familiar — I screamed.
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