The only comfort she had was that she had plenty of reasons to assume that he was still just as affected by her as she was by him. The way the corner of his mouth twitched when she said something unexpected. The way he made a point of moving his body protectively in between her and any car that passed them on the street.
Hell, just the fact that he’d shown up at the hospital today, a fully cooked turkey slung over his shoulder.
She glanced down at the foil-covered plate she carried. Connor was carrying its identical twin. She swallowed.
She knew the food would be cold by the time she ate it. She didn’t care. Connor had made it. For her. She’d love every last freaking bite.
He nudged her arm with his elbow and she looked over at him, stomach flipping with the familiarity of the gesture. It was what he had always done when she disappeared down a rabbit trail in her own mind. It was his gentle way of teasing her back to the present moment.
“Hey,” he said, looking into her eyes, the corner of his mouth crinkling.
“Hey, yourself,” she replied softly, all three symptoms of the trifecta hitting her full strength.
“You know, I think I just realized why I keep thinking so much about how long you’re going to stay. Because that’s the question I keep asking, both to you, and in my head. But it’s not the question I actually want the answer to.”
Her breath caught in her throat. She was almost too afraid to speak, and when she did, it came out as a whisper.
“What is the question?”
Connor stopped in his tracks and so did she. They turned to each other and he gently brushed her hair away from her forehead, studying her face like he hadn’t seen it in a million years, and was afraid he wouldn’t see it again for a million more.
Fog swirled around them, making Luna feel like the two of them were encased in an impenetrable cocoon. The only two people in their own little world.
When he answered her, his voice was low and intimate, which did absolutely nothing to break the spell that had been cast around them. In fact, it only strengthened it. “What I really want to know,” he rasped, “is not when you’re leaving. It’s what’s going to happen between us after you do.”
Oh, God. Well, that was the big question, wasn’t it? Too bad she didn’t have a very good answer.
She opened her mouth to speak…to say something, anything, that might let him know that she wondered that, too. That it kept popping into her mind, the same as it did to his.
But nothing came out. No words, no sound.
She snapped her mouth closed. She could do nothing but heave a huge sigh, which was exactly what she did.
Stepping forward, she leaned her head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.
“Sorry,” he said wryly. “I was pushing. I get it. Which was maybe what scared you away the first time?”
His self-deprecating comment brought back her power of speech. “No,” she corrected him with a bitter little chuckle. “It wasn’t that you put on too much pressure. I was just too scared of disappointing my grandparents to stand up for what I really wanted. So…basically, I was chickenshit.”
He laughed. “I’d argue with that, but I can’t lie. I kind of like the sound of it.”
She stood on tiptoe to give him a soft kiss on the lips.
They started walking again, but this time he slid his arm around her shoulder as they did. “I tell you what. Let’s do this: just focus on the time between now and Christmas. Let’s pretend there is no future. The future doesn’t exist. It’s just us, here, together, enjoying the holiday season.”
“I like that idea,” she agreed. “It’s sort of a Christmas Miracle kind of a thing.”
“Well, it’s no virgin birth, but it’s a plan,” he teased, and she gave him a playful smack.
“It is a plan,” she agreed. “A great plan, in fact. And I predict that we’ll be having a pretty merry Christmas this year.”
Chapter 12
Connor
Three sharp knocks sounded on Connor’s front door, and his heart sped up.
Fuck. He was like Pavlov’s dog lately, except he had physical reactions to so many more things than just a dinner bell. A knock at his door. A text chime. His phone ringing. Any of those set his heart racing.
Of course, he knew the reason. You didn’t have to be Sherlock freaking Holmes to figure it out. It was because every time he heard one of those sounds, his brain became consumed by one thought: It could be Luna!
When he opened the door, though, it wasn’t Luna’s beautiful face he saw. It was Gavin’s serious one.
“Hey, dude. Come on in.”
Gavin crossed to his couch and settled himself on it. This wasn’t totally unusual. Just like Connor had stopped by to work on the Mustang a few mornings ago and had walked into Gavin’s kitchen without waiting for a response to his knock. That was how it was between them—informal.
Still, this time seemed different, and Connor didn’t have a hard time putting his finger on why. “Dude, Gavin. Why the scowl, man? You look like somebody kicked your dog or something.”
Gavin gave a small shake of his head. He wasn’t the most outwardly expressive person, so Connor couldn’t count on reading his face or gestures. He was going to have to wait for his friend to actually fill him in.
Finally, Gavin spoke, his voice gruff. “Look, I don’t want to be here. Gen sent me.”
Normally, Connor would’ve made some kind of smartass comment, accusing his friend of being whipped. But with the way things were going, he saw some real potential for similar comments to be thrown up in his face in the future, so he decided it was smarter to keep his mouth shut and just wait for Gavin to spit out in his own time whatever he was here to say.
What he forgot, though, was that Gavin was a man of few words, and guys like that typically had a pretty high tolerance for extended silences. Gavin was no exception.
Finally, Connor turned and headed toward the kitchen. “Beer?”
Gavin glanced at his watch. “It’s 9 a.m.”
Connor grinned. “Hey, it must be 10 a.m. somewhere, right?”
When he returned from the kitchen, he tossed a cold can to Gavin and popped the lid on the one he’d brought for himself.
Gavin set his aside and said, “Look. Gen’s organizing this big event for Christmas, to benefit the pediatric ward at the hospital. You know about it.”
“Sure. I’ve heard some people talking.”
“Right. So, she wants you to volunteer. She sent me to tell you.”
Connor’s brows drew together. “Why didn’t she come over and ask me herself?”
Gavin shrugged. “Guess she thought I’d have a better shot.”
Connor barked out a laugh. “Right. Because of your eloquent powers of persuasion.”
Gavin shrugged again.
A small suspicion grew in the back of Connor’s mind. “Does this have anything to do with Luna? With pushing me and Luna together, somehow?”
Another shrug. “I’m staying out of it.”
“So that’s a yes.”
“That’s an ‘I’m staying out of it.’”
Connor grinned. “Well, tell Genevieve that if that’s what it’s about, she didn’t need to be all secret agent about it. That’s a plus to me, not a minus.”
Gavin stood. “So, you’ll do it?”
“Damn, dude, do you have somewhere to be?”
It was Gavin’s turn to furrow his brow. “I’m not into asking people to do things.”
“Well, tell Gen I’ll help however she needs me to. And that in the future, she doesn’t need to torture you by sending you out to do the sales pitch. If that’s what you could call this.”
“Good.”
“Although, it is proof of just how much you love her that you were willing to do it in the first place.”
“Yeah.”
“You can tell her that, as well. Earn some points.”
Gavin smiled. It was small and tight, which w
ere the only kind of smiles in his wheelhouse, but it was there. “Trust me. She doesn’t need any proof of how much I love her. I make that very clear, in every way I can, and as often as I can.”
Connor opened the door and Gavin walked out. Connor waved to him as he sauntered down the front walk.
Damn. What Gavin had said shook him to his core.
He made sure Gen knew he loved her, as often as he could. Even a guy as taciturn as Gavin wasn’t afraid to lay it all on the line with his words, to make himself vulnerable to make sure the woman he loved knew the truth about his feelings.
Talk was cheap. That’s what the old phrase said, anyway. For someone like Gavin, it was the opposite—every word cost him, and he spent them on the most important person in his life.
“So what the fuck is my excuse?” Connor muttered under his breath.
He had some thinking to do. He was showing Luna how deeply he cared with actions—bringing the turkey to the hospital, volunteering to work at the diner. And, while another common phrase said that actions were louder than words, he thought it might be about time to start using both.
He and Luna had lost each other once before because they were too young and too scared to just be clear, to take a chance, to be vulnerable.
He didn’t plan to make the same mistake again. This time, he planned to say the words.
Now it was just a matter of figuring out the right ones.
Chapter 13
Luna
“Now, don’t worry, sweet girl. I’m going to take care of the ordering and the deposits and anything else that’s a little more complicated. The fact that you’re staying around to help with the front of house while your sweet boy handles the grill….well, it means the world.”
Grace wiped tears from her eyes as she looked around the empty dining room of Main Street Eats they were standing in and Luna rubbed her shoulder. “Grandma, honestly. I’m happy to do it. After everything you and Grandpa did for me? Don’t get me started! It’s the least I could do.”
Luna wrapped her arms around her grandmother, breathed in her scent. It took her straight back to childhood. She used to love it when her grandmother tucked her in at night, gave her hugs and a kiss on the forehead. It gave her a sense of safety and security that she’d carried with her all her life since then.
In fact, sometimes Luna would even go up to the beauty counter in department stores and sniff the tester bottle of her grandma’s scent. That’s how much it filled her with an overwhelming sense of calm and safety.
But now, being back in Grandma Grace’s embrace again, feeling the whole experience organically, the calm and stillness it triggered in her was even stronger.
She knew everything was going to be all right. She couldn’t have explained how she knew that. She didn’t actually know. But that didn’t change the fact that, deep down in her bones, she did know it.
In fact, the certainty flowing through her in that moment went even beyond things being just okay. There was every chance that things were going to be freaking awesome!
Again. Not sure how she knew. But she did.
It wasn’t that she would’ve wished her grandfather’s heart attack into existence. In fact, she would’ve done just about anything in her power to have him stay fit as a fiddle forever.
But since it had, she could at least see some silver lining in it. For one thing, like she had just said, she was finally able to give back to her grandparents after all they’d given to her. Nothing she could do for them, ever, would come close to being as profound as the gift they’d given her, of course: of raising her with so much love and laughter. But helping to take care of the diner wasn’t nothing, and it was what she could do, and she was more than happy to be able to do it.
And then, of course…there was Connor.
Connor, with the sexy scruff. Connor, who paralyzed her brain and sent her body rocketing into outer space. Connor, who was the only other person in her life who’d ever made her feel as safe as her grandparents did.
Would he turn out to be a silver lining? Or was he another trial in disguise?
Remained to be seen.
“Honey, thank you so much for having such a great attitude about helping out. Because, well…after your grandfather gets home, you might be here a fair amount more than I am. It just depends on how it works out.”
“I understand that. Please, don’t even worry about that. Just take care of Grandpa.”
Grace nodded and straightened her shoulders. “Come on. Let’s go in the back and I’ll show you how the walk-ins are organized.”
As they went through the shelves of food, Luna took notes on her phone. It wasn’t totally new to her. She’d worked here after school and on weekends during high school, so it was really more of a re-familiarization process than anything else.
Still, she wanted to make sure that she had a firm enough grasp on things to explain it to Connor.
Hmmm…firm enough grasp…sounds hot…
She shook her head to keep the dirty thoughts from intruding. She had to focus and pay attention, damn it! Her grandmother was depending on her.
She tuned back in to what Grandma Grace was saying, but since she was currently detailing the proper way to handle salami, it wasn’t super helpful when it came to chasing the naughty thoughts out of her brain.
As they were locking up and heading out, Grace turned to her and Luna thought she detected a sly glint in her grandmother’s eye. Before she’d even spoken, Luna knew that she was going to say something about Connor.
She didn’t blame Grandma Grace. After all, she and Paw Paw had always loved Connor, and wanted to see Luna end up with him. So, now that their dream scenario had a better chance at coming true than it had at any time during the past decade, of course they were going to do a little nudging… Luna just had to make sure that the pressure she felt inside as a result of the nudging didn’t make her rush to any boneheaded decisions.
Or, she thought, maybe I should say any more boneheaded decisions. Because I’ve already made one—leaving in the first place…well, okay, make that two. Because staying away so long was also pretty damn stupid.
When Grandma Grace spoke, it was in the kind of nonchalant tone that let Luna know she was anything but nonchalant when it came to whatever she was about to say.
“So, hon. Genevieve and I were chatting a few weeks ago, and she was telling me all about the Christmas extravaganza she’s organizing. It’s a benefit, you know. For the hospital. For the sick kids.”
“Wow. That sounds wonderful. Good for her.”
“Exactly. Yes. I knew you’d feel that way!”
“Well, I mean…wouldn’t anybody? It’s a nice thing for her to do. A big commitment, I’d imagine.”
“Yes. Exactly. So much work to be done.”
Luna was beginning to get a hint of where the conversation was headed, and felt a pit form in her belly. There was already so much on her plate. How could she fit even more?
She decided to just play dumb until the last possible moment. “Yeah, I bet there is,” she agreed brightly, as if all of that work had absolutely nothing to do with her, no-siree-bob.
Grandma Grace raised her eyebrows and tilted her head forward in a very particular way she had, and all of a sudden, Luna was ten years old again. “Sorry, Grandma,” she rushed to apologize, “I meant, what does she need done? How can I help?”
Grandma Grace smiled. “Good girl. That’s what I thought you meant. Now, as far as what she needs, why don’t you give her a call and ask her? But I think a good idea to propose would be providing some food from the diner. That’s kind of like those what-do-you-call-’ems that you’ve been trying to convince us we need to do. Promotions. Right?”
Wow. A one-two punch. Not only would Luna be doing good for the community, she would also be helping promote her grandparents’ business. There was no way she could say no.
What she hadn’t figured out yet was why Grandma Grace was acting so sneaky about the whole thing.
What wasn’t she saying? What was the catch. Luna couldn’t figure it out.
“And just think,” her grandmother said, going back to the blasé tone that she’d started the conversation using, “You’ll have so much time to spend with Connor, since he’s the one helping you run the diner.”
Luna nodded, suppressing the wry smile that wanted to come to her lips. Her grandmother was so many things. Kind. Big-hearted. Well-intentioned. But one thing she wasn’t, and would never be, was smooth. And Luna liked it that way.
Chapter 14
Connor
Connor jumped out of his car and ran around to the passenger side door, opening it just as Luna reached the end of the walkway at her grandparents’ house.
She’d called him earlier that morning to tell him that Serge was being discharged from the hospital, and asked if he could pick her up so they could go and help Grace bring him home.
Something inside him had shifted when he’d heard the request. That wasn’t the Luna he knew. That girl had not only been allergic to asking anyone for help with anything, she’d also hated it when people offered. In fact, he couldn’t remember a single time in the past when she’d reached out and asked for his assistance.
This was a real step in the right direction, he thought. She was trusting him, maybe, in a way that neither of them had been equipped for when they were younger.
It was the first time that he felt a realistic hope, instead of just a vague wish, that they might be able to make it work somehow.
He pushed that thought to the back of his mind. This was no time to be getting ahead of himself, throwing his thoughts years into the future. Right now, he had to focus on the task at hand: getting Serge home and settled.
After all, this was the first time Luna had asked him for help…pretty much the worst thing he could do was fuck it up.
It was hard to erase a first impression.
As Luna climbed into the passenger seat and Connor shut the car door firmly behind her, Connor was reminded of the hundreds of times he’d done that exact thing before, when taking her on dates, or just to hang out.
Unbreak My Heart (Valentine Bay Book 5) Page 6