It was Edward.
I wasn’t sure why he wasn’t my first thought. I guessed I simply didn’t consider he would go behind my back to do this.
It infuriated me.
Perhaps I should have been grateful. I mean, I was most definitely relieved that I no longer had these bills to pay, that was true. Outside of that, I was angry.
I didn’t want to be his charity case. This oddly made me feel like some kind of prostitute.
Okay, perhaps that was dramatic. Edward definitely wasn’t paying me for sex. This did feel like some weird kind of quid pro quo thing. I didn’t like it.
It would be one thing if we were dating. If this was serious, then I could understand him taking a vested interest and getting involved with my finances.
We weren’t serious! He’d always been super clear about the fact that he didn’t want to be. So, it made no sense why he would pop up and pay this off for me.
I absolutely did not like it or feel good about it in the slightest. As stressed as I was, that was my financial burden. I didn’t want it on Edward.
Though it wasn’t really a burden for him, was it? That was something else that made me so angry. The problem that had become the greatest stressor of my life was nothing to him. He could pay it and not bat an eye. Which only made me more of his pity case.
I was fuming as I stepped inside the palace and into the dining quarters. I had called the hospital on my dinner break because I didn’t know when else to call. I couldn’t do it while I was at home. I didn’t want to alert my father to the mix-up. I tried to keep billing information away from him as much as possible. I didn’t think it was something he should be thinking about.
“What’s wrong?” Millie immediately asked me as soon as I sat.
I’d really come to enjoy Millie’s company since I started working here. I’d come to know a lot about her life, just as she knew a lot about mine.
She didn’t know about Edward. I’d kept that a secret from almost everyone. Not that I thought Millie would rat me out or anything. I really didn’t, but I didn’t want anyone to see me as Edward’s booty call. I was afraid it might spark rumors about why I got this job in the first place.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” I tried to brush it off.
“It doesn’t look like nothing. Spill the tea, girl,” she pressed before sipping her water, the slang expression for ‘gimme the gossip.’
I groaned. “It’s just… I just found out that my dad’s hospital bills were paid off.”
She chuckled awkwardly. “Okay … guess I’m not exactly understanding the problem. That’s a good thing, right?”
“Yes, or it would be if I was the one to pay them off, but I didn’t.”
“So. who did?” she asked.
“I don’t know for sure, but I expect it was the prince.”
It felt weird to call him that as I never referred to him in a formal manner. To me, he was just Edward. If I called him that to Millie, she would know that we were closer than I let on.
I didn’t see a reason not to tell her he was the one who paid, though. Surely, I could do that without disclosing our entire relationship.
“Aw, well that’s really sweet of him! He must have heard through the grapevine about your dad and took steps to help him. That’s really nice. I don’t see why you’re upset.”
“I mean, yes, it’s really nice, but … I don’t know. I can’t help but feel like he’s trying to manipulate me.”
“Manipulate you? Into doing what exactly?” Millie stared on.
“Just…” How could I explain this without revealing too much? “He’s been a bit flirtatious, and it just feels like … I don’t know.” I was stumbling on my words.
Suddenly she smiled and nodded. “Ah, yes, I understand.”
“What?” I asked.
“You and the prince. You’ve got a little thing going on.”
“Uh, no, I didn’t mean to say—”
“Now you’re worried that, what? He wants something in return for doing you such a grand gesture?”
“Millie, can I confide in you?” She nodded eagerly, scooting closer as if she knew the details were juicy. “You promise it will never go any further?”
“Yes, Maggie!! We’re friends, love. Just spill the tea already before it gets cold!”
I inhaled a quaking breath and spit it out in one strung together sentence, as if I said it any slower, I’d lose my confidence. “We’ve been sneaking around and seeing each other. Not as often as I like. But we’ve… Well, we’ve been rather promiscuous, and I think I’m falling for him, but in my mind, I know we could never be, you know? I’m so confused, Millie. I don’t know what to do!”
My fears were out there now, everything I’d been struggling to tell Edward was now confided in Millie. I could only pray she’d keep her word and hold my secrets.
I couldn’t continue speaking to her about this. I didn’t want her to know all the sordid details. I didn’t want anyone to know.
I may have just blown that, all because I was angry about Edward paying for my dad’s hospital bills.
“Oh, crap. I, uh … gotta get back to work,” I lied, and pretending to check the time on my watch.
“Okay, sure. I’m here if you ever need to talk,” she said. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”
I was worried. Extremely worried.
I stood and walked away. I was still angry, but now I was also entirely stressed that I’d just shared my biggest secret.
I had to trust that Millie wouldn’t say anything, though. That was all I could do now.
I was furious with myself for making such a big mistake.
I was furious with Edward too! He shouldn’t have done this. If he wanted to help me, why didn’t he come forward and ask me? Why did he have to do it anonymously? I mean, surely he knew it wouldn’t be truly anonymous. He knew I’d find out.
I couldn’t say for sure that it meant he wanted something from me. I mean, he was already getting laid, what more could he want? I did think it suggested a weird dynamic. “Hey, thanks for having sex with me, here’s all your debt paid off.” I hated the way it made me feel.
I had to confront him, but how and when?
I couldn’t do it now. I mean, I could… I could call or text him, but he wasn’t in town. I didn’t think this was the kind of conversation I wanted to have over the phone.
A few days after he recovered, he went on a trip. Evidently, the queen tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted he was healed and could go. It was some kind of diplomatic endeavor that had been planned for six months, and he didn’t want to let anyone down.
We’d been keeping in loose contact through his recovery. After our night of cuddling, I ran off completely stressed. Not that I didn’t love the time I’d spent with him, I absolutely did. That was exactly part of the reason why I ran off.
I couldn’t handle being that close to him, speaking to him so intimately. It felt so good to be in his arms. As he fell asleep on me, I kept thinking about how we could do this every night. If we lived together, we could stay up late talking and fall asleep in each other’s arms. I even considered how nice it would be to wake up to him every day…
It was silly, a ridiculous fantasy, and I couldn’t continue to indulge it. I was never going to be that woman for him, and yet I laid in his arms as if I possibly could be. I was ashamed of my lack of willpower and embarrassed by how deeply I liked him.
He did seem to like me too, but I was smart enough to know that it wasn’t going to spill over into relationship territory. He liked me like a best friend he could occasionally have sex with. He didn’t like me as a serious, intimate girlfriend.
I had considered ending it after that night, but I was waiting for him to heal. Then shortly after he did, he told me he was leaving the country. So my plan was to explain things when he got back.
I was going to be honest and forthcoming. I was going to say that I cared deeply for him, but I knew we could nev
er be. I was going to ask him to please not reach out to me any further because I couldn’t resist him, and I didn’t want to continually be sucked back into his life. I was going to politely tell him that this was over and ask that he respect my wishes.
Now? Screw being polite. I was going to give him a piece of my mind. He’d hear about how inappropriate it was for him to do such a thing … how he should have asked me. If he was doing a genuinely kind, honest gesture, he would have asked!
I’d wait until he came back, though. When I gave him a piece of my mind, I really wanted it to be in person.
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out to find it was Edward… Maybe his ears were burning.
>>This is nightmarishly boring. Wishing I was back in London with you.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. I was tired of his sweet talk. Now that he’d paid the hospital bill behind my back, I felt that all his chatter was just a way to manipulate me into doing what he'd wanted. I wasn’t going to fall for it any longer.
>>We need to talk.
My reply seemed to worry him.
>>What? What about?
>> We’ll talk when you get back. What day will you arrive?
>> Friday. Is something wrong? Can you at least tell me what this is about?
>>Meet me after my shift Friday?
>>Yes, of course.
I didn’t explain any further than that. How could I? If I’d told him anything more serious he would’ve asked me a million questions.
It would just have to wait until we saw each other once again.
Chapter 16
Edward
I’d been stressed out ever since I got Maggie’s text saying that we needed to talk. She wouldn’t explain why. I’d called many times, but she never picked up.
I could definitely sense she was mad, but I had no clue why. Because of that, I was desperate to get home.
Or, rather, I should say I was more desperate to get back home than usual. Because I always wanted to leave these diplomatic tours. They were exhausting.
I shouldn’t complain, I knew that. Some people were working sixty-hour weeks in factories just to make ends meet for their families. I went on cushy press tours. I wasn’t unaware of how privileged I was.
Still, I didn’t think the general public understood that it was actual work. I’d met so many people in the past week. I had to shake so many hands, take so many photos. My feet were aching by the end of every day. All the while, I had to worry about what stresses were waiting for me back home.
At least today would be the day I flew home. I took solace in that. I was still obsessively checking my phone to see if Maggie had contacted me at all. She hadn’t.
A lot of other people had.
It was weird… I normally had a few messages from royal officials, but suddenly I had ten friends texting me at the same time. Every text was all the same thing—a link to an article.
My heart sank. This couldn’t be good.
I braced myself before I clicked it, and it was worse than I thought.
“Prince Edward Caught Taking Advantage of the Royal Nanny,” the headline read.
This was so not good.
I skimmed the article quickly at first, but sure enough, they named Maggie specifically. Though they stupidly called her the nanny instead of what she really was—my siblings’ tutor.
I wasn’t sure where they got their information from, and for a moment, I had no time to think about it. I only had one concern—this was going to severely hurt Maggie.
I wondered if this was what she wanted to speak with me about. Then I looked at the article again and realized it was from today. No, that couldn’t be it then.
Which was awful because if she had something to talk to me about before, this wasn’t going to help matters.
I tried to call Maggie right away … no answer, as usual.
I put the phone down and tried to breathe through it as I read the article more seriously. I didn’t want to. I wanted to turn off my phone and pretend this wasn’t happening. I had to know what exactly these people knew. Perhaps it wasn’t much? Perhaps it didn’t provide a lot of proof.
I was very, very wrong.
Not only did they have details about us flirting around the palace, they had actual pictures! There was a blurry photo of us in the garden—Maggie all wet, me peeling my shirt off.
This certainly looked bad.
There was another photo of us at the museum kissing. Well, I definitely couldn’t deny that.
It all looked awful. At the end of the article, some anonymous source had been quoted saying that I had the nanny in my room until midnight while I was recovering. “Frankly, I find it all egregious that he cannot even keep it in his pants when ill.”
We didn’t even do anything!
I immediately felt guilty. Maggie had been so damn worried about that night, and what had I done? I assured her over and over again that it was no big deal, that nobody would notice us, that nobody would care…
Nothing could’ve been further from the damn truth.
I was the one who pushed her into this. It was all my fault. If she was livid with me, she definitely had a right to be.
The worst part of this whole article, though, wasn’t the pictures or the details of when we spent time together. It was the fact that they made me seem like a predator. It was as if I preyed on the nanny, pressured her into doing things with me.
That wasn’t true. Maggie liked me. If they knew Maggie, they’d know she couldn’t be pressured into doing anything she didn’t want to. She rejected me at one point.
Why did they immediately leap to me being a predator? I mean, I supposed it was because she worked under me, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t have a consensual relationship.
I felt sick to my stomach. At first, I only felt bad for Maggie, but I was starting to get worried for myself. If this spun out of control, I could get a reputation as a predator.
My phone started buzzing, and I grabbed it quickly, praying that it would be Maggie. It wasn’t.
It was my mum.
I immediately cringed. I didn’t want to talk to her. I didn’t want to tell her about the mistakes I’d made. She was going to be so upset with me, especially the way this article was written. It made me look like a monster.
I considered ignoring the call, allowing it to go to voicemail. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I could never ignore my mum. Besides, maybe it was preferable to be yelled at on the phone rather than being yelled at in person.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Is it true?” she asked.
I played dumb. “Is what true?”
She sighed. “I presume you’ve seen the news.”
“I, uh, yeah… I have.”
“So is it true?”
I groaned. “I mean, Mum, they have photos of us kissing, so of course it’s kind of true. It’s definitely written in a manipulative way, but yes, it’s true.”
“Well, I knew you kissed her, of course. That much is clear. I was hoping that was all it was. I was hoping that you did not sleep with that girl.”
“I, uh…” I couldn’t think of a more awkward conversation. “That’s not all it was, Mother.”
“Edward! I cannot believe you would take advantage of the staff in that way!”
“No, no, it wasn’t like that, Mum! That was the one thing the article got incredibly wrong. I didn’t take advantage of Maggie at all. She liked me… I mean, I hope she still likes me after this. She didn’t feel pressured or anything, I’m positive she didn’t. We had real feelings for each other.”
My mum sighed. “That doesn’t matter, Edward. I do not press you about the many vacations you take and what you do on them. I know I likely wouldn’t approve of your behavior. You can gallivant around with any other woman in London, but you brought this into the palace. You brought it to an employee. I knew you and the young lady were friends, but I believed that was the extent of your relationship. I’m very,
very disappointed in you, Edward.”
I bit my lip. I hated hearing my mum tell me how upset she was.
“Mum, I get it, but I never thought of it that way. I didn’t think it would reflect badly. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong.”
“You’re her boss, for crying out loud, Edward!” she continued.
“Well, no, not really. Sure, I was responsible for hiring her, but it wasn’t like she reported to me or anything. Ms. Mitchell was her boss, and I told her that many times.”
“So let me ask you, Edward,” she continued. “Why did you hire her?”
“What?” I wasn’t expecting that question.
“What reason did you have to hire her?”
“Well, she seemed like a good candidate, and—”
“And she was pretty?” my mum asked.
“I have always thought she was pretty, but I had other reasons for suggesting her.”
“No, I don’t think you really did. Which makes this entire situation so much worse. It makes it seem like you actually hired her to pursue her. You have to see how that looks in today’s day and age. Male employers are constantly being called out for their sexual harassment.”
“I never thought I was harassing her, not for a second! I mean, I wasn’t harassing her! I truly wasn’t. I care about her, Mother.”
“I have to go, Edward. I have to figure out how we’re going to handle this PR disaster. Please, don’t speak to any journalists, don’t agree to a single interview, and don’t comment.”
“Of course, Mum. I know the drill.” I hated to feel my mother’s disappointment, but I wasn’t a child who needed to be scolded.
“I will talk to you when you get back,” she said before hanging up.
Great, so I was going to get yelled at on the phone and in person. Perfect.
After speaking to my mum, I felt a lot worse. Not just because she was upset with me, but because what she was saying made a lot of sense. This truly would be a PR nightmare.
It looked bad on my part, I knew that. Though maybe it would be curved by Maggie saying some nice things about me, clearing up our situation.
If she ever talked to me again. I couldn’t be sure that she still had any interest in me after all this happened. This was exactly what she was worried about. It had come true, mostly because of my actions.
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