— 9 —
Friday afternoon rolled around and as everyone jostled up to our lunch table we were full of excitement. A gust of air, surprisingly warm for that time of year, whipped my hair across my face as I sat down.
‘How’s this weather?’ Cal’s bronze hair flicked over his eyes from the restless wind, but he smiled, because despite the breeze picking up, the sun showed signs of a perfect weekend for skiing on the lake.
My gaze wandered past Sean’s head, the direction I’d see Tyler come from. He was the only one not here yet. It amazed me how quickly I’d grown used to his presence, and how much I liked it. And if the way my pulse quickened from the anticipation of his arrival was any indication, perhaps even more than that. On Thursday Tyler and I had shared a free again, and then another double on Friday morning. Our nervous energy had still zapped like a storm in the tropics, but I was getting used to the current. I suspected Tyler was too, because when we sat at the back corner table in the library at the end of the longest week in the history of ever, we didn’t drown it out with our music.
I caught Sean’s cheeky sideways grin. Damn it, he knew who I was looking for.
‘I think he likes you too,’ he said with a gentleness in his eyes that offered his acceptance, and I knew how hard that’d be for him.
I opened my mouth to deny it. My liking Tyler or his liking me, I wasn’t sure. My heart fluttered. I barely believed myself anymore, these guys would see straight through the lie. I closed my mouth.
‘Yeah, I noticed that too.’ Cal leaned his arm on the table.
Amber and Max only nodded, but the sly grin in their eyes spoke volumes. I wanted to bury myself in my shame of not being able to hide it better.
I glanced along the path. God, I hoped he wouldn’t show up now, not with my cheeks flaming red hot.
‘Don’t worry,’ Cal said. ‘He’s not coming. Gone home.’
‘Already? We’ve still got geography.’ And another free at the end of the day that I was stupidly looking forward to.
‘Said his mum needed him to do a job before he went away.’ Sean shrugged.
‘But hey,’ Cal said. ‘Who’s this old lady you helped? I thought the homeless shelter was mostly men?’
Huh? ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Something Simsy said.’ He held up a hand. ‘Now don’t get mad, you know we love you, but we might’ve been dissing you for not showing up for break on Wednesday.’
Taken aback at his honesty, my face went taut. ‘Thanks. I had work to do.’ I didn’t.
Cal ignored me and continued, ‘We may have told Tyler it was a lie.’ They did out me.
‘You guys are supposed to have my back.’ I glared at my friends. Amber elbowed Cal in the ribs. Max placed her palms on the table.
‘We said nothing,’ she protested.
‘It was on the way to class.’ Right before he showed up in the library. ‘I said something about you going into your own little world, but to just ignore it. Sean said it came across as standoffish but you’re actually a nice person.’
I shot a glare right between Sean’s guilty eyes. ‘Am I meant to thank you for that?’
‘Only if you want to?’ He grinned hard, teasing.
‘But Simsy stuck up for you. Said he knew that already. Something about you helping an old lady when no one else did.’
My vision blurred, an intense pulsing slammed through my body.
‘When did you catch up with Tyler?’ Max asked, pouting like a toddler.
I blinked back the shock. I needed to find words, but they too were stunned into silence. I coughed, jarring myself into enough sense to at least speak. I needed to find a lie – fast.
‘I didn’t. I…uh, he must’ve seen me at the shops on the weekend. I helped an old lady who’d dropped her bags.’
Amber cupped her hands together. ‘Aww. You’re so sweet. What would the world do without you?’
My lips turned up a fraction, and I thanked her silently for the compliment.
‘Why didn’t you tell me you went out on the weekend? We could’ve met up.’ Max put a hand on her hip, making her shoulders appear wider than they already were.
A small breeze burst from behind and caught my hair, giving me a moment to lean forward, collect it off my face, and compose myself before continuing the most bizarre lie I’d ever concocted. ‘It was super brief, wouldn’t have been worth it, promise.’
And it was in my dream.
He’d seen me.
I waded through the rest of the afternoon in a stunned blur.
He’d seen me and never said anything, even pushed it aside when I’d asked him about the dream on the first day. Had we been dancing around the truth every time we talked about the dreams? I know I’d made a few subtle suggestions. Had he?
After school I stood in my room; frustrated, excited, and scared. I’d thrown multiple piles of clothes on my bed, more spilled out of the wardrobe. I gritted my teeth and threw my head back.
‘Argh.’
What the hell would I say when I saw him? And what would I wear? I glanced at my alarm clock. Crap. No time to waste. I slid into my skinny jeans and tossed my white Picasso cubic sketch t-shirt over my head. I tied the laces of my pale-blue cons, grabbing up the dark-grey pair and throwing them in my bag.
‘Mum, do you know where my jacket is?’ I called down the stairs.
I carelessly folded a hoody, a couple of t-shirts, more pants, and my PJs, cramming them into the bag propped open on my bed. Oh my God, he’d be seeing me in my pyjamas. Why hadn’t I thought of that until now? My legs wobbled, and I placed a hand over my stomach to calm the thwack of butterfly wings.
‘Can I come in?’ Without waiting for an answer Mum strode over to my wardrobe, the acrid scent of sterile bandages and disinfectant trailing behind her, the smell normally as calming as lavender, but now put me on edge. If Mum had any idea what was going through my head she’d pass out.
After a quick rummage she held up my almost black denim jacket. ‘This the one?’
‘Yep, thanks.’ I grabbed it and stuffed it into my bag, groaned, pulled it back out and slid it on.
‘Is everything all right?’ Her forehead furrowed, and I concentrated on keeping my breath steady, normal.
‘Perfectly fine.’ I pressed my lips into a smile.
She leaned against the doorway. ‘You’re looking forward to the weekend, aren’t you?’
‘Yeah, I…uh…I’ve been busy with school so I’m not feeling very prepared.’
‘Okay, and that’s all?’
I nodded. ‘Yep.’ I looked her in the eye briefly and then continued to breeze around the room, gathering the bits I’d need for the weekend. Our silence hung heavily, but she didn’t need to speak for me to know her thoughts. She’d noticed my jitters, and only one thing had ever caused those. My imperfection had been a constant struggle for her, but my dreams weren’t like a bad headache or the flu, and as much as she wished she could nurse them away, she couldn’t.
‘This is for two days?’ She eyed the oversized bag with a grin. My face mirrored hers when I smiled, dark eyes creased at the corners and high cheeks that lifted for the occasion.
‘Yep.’ I laughed when I struggled to close the bag. Mum stepped over to hold the sides together as I yanked the zipper closed.
Mum pulled me in for a hug, her worry making her squeeze longer and tighter than normal. ‘Have fun.’ She kissed the side of my head and left the room.
I knocked on Jake’s door as I headed out. ‘Ready when you are,’ I called.
Jake pulled the van in by the back entrance of the lake house. Max jumped out excitedly, Sean right behind her, but I struggled with more trepidation than excitement. My attraction to Tyler, my recent discovery, and the fear at what that meant kept my backside firm in the seat. Knots twisted, nausea churning my insides. Closing my eyes I gulped. I can do this. I stepped from the car into the quiet empty afternoon, my feet crunching on the sandy gravel driveway.
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We’d spent so many weekends here while growing up it always felt like coming home. The limestone house with oversized wooden columns stood in graceful silence, the gumtrees rising proudly beside it. A handful of honey eaters danced under their shade, foraging in the brush. Sucking in the crisp scent of gum and country air put me instantly at ease, despite my inner turbulence.
‘You sure you’ve packed enough?’ Jake said, lifting our bags out the back.
‘You know what, I don’t think we did.’ Max poked out her tongue, hoisted up her bag, and headed inside as Marie opened the big double doors. Billy Bob, their black and white cocker spaniel, grabbed the opportunity to escape. He dashed around her short legs, but was too old to go far. No one bothered to call him back.
‘Lucy, Max, Sean, Jake, come in, come in.’ Marie held her arms wide and ushered us into the gorgeous living area; exposed wood, with hues of cream and rich chocolate, and floor to ceiling windows that captured the view of the lake. ‘Pop your bags over here. Yes, that’s fine, Max. Everyone’s out the front. Can I get you kids a drink?’ Her platinum hair bounced on her shoulders with the pleasure of our arrival. ‘Jake, are you staying for a drink?’
‘No, can’t sorry, basketball tonight, I need to head straight back, but I’ll be back tomorrow night for the party. Mum says hi.’ He passed her a container of Mum’s famous shortbread biscuits. ‘Here, she sent these.’
Jake left and Marie hurried back to the kitchen, off to the side of the massive open plan area, while I dropped my bags next to the sideboard and admired the perfectly placed photos of Cal and his family. I paused on the one with him and his brother. Richie had his arm slung over Cal’s shoulder, embracing him in a one-sided hug Cal was shrugging away from. If it weren’t for his face being all teeth, the angst might’ve been believable. A warm smile faltered on my lips as it often did when I remembered them all those years ago.
I followed the others out onto the deck and soaked up the wide view of the entire waterfront. Sweeping grass sloped down onto the sandy embankment of the lake and an expanse of crystal still waters beyond. The pink clouds still held some warmth from the day but were a reminder the sun would soon be leaving us. A long jetty ran from the right side of the shore out to a gazebo over the water, and on the other side of the jetty, Vivianne – the lady of the lake, bobbed peacefully on the water. She showed her age, but it would be a sad day when Cal’s dad replaced his much-loved speed boat. She was like family.
I shifted my attention toward the sound of Cal and Tyler coming out of the boat shed with Cal’s dad at the other end of the landing. Tyler wore tan jeans with a maroon and white-chequered flanny rolled up to his elbows and opened over a grey t-shirt. He looked so composed, making me lose all of mine. His hair billowed over his forehead, the afternoon sun reflecting bronze streaks amongst the brown. With his steady gait and easy chatter with Cal, an unrestrained grin spread over his face. He held an armful of logs, exposing the muscles in his forearms. I hitched my breath and the lurching in my stomach started up again.
‘Hey, you’re all here,’ Cal called up to us as he dropped his pile by the fire pit. ‘Who’s ready for a party?’
I wished I could trade some of my hyper-nervousness for his calm, vibrant energy.
Sean and Max trampled down the steps.
I moved a little slower, my shaky legs barely keeping me upright. It’d only been hours since we’d seen each other, yet a chorus of excited greetings rang out as everyone anticipated the weekend ahead.
‘Hi kids,’ Harry said, stacking the wood into a neat pile. Cal’s dad brimmed with a more subtle energy than his son’s, always less pronounced, but easily as charming.
‘Hey.’ Tyler kicked at the dirt and spoke with such uncertainty, it almost didn’t sound like him. The unfamiliar apprehension in his eyes surprised me, but it served him right after what he’d been keeping from me. So what if I’d been partly to blame.
‘Hi.’ My voice quivered despite wanting to act unruffled at seeing him again. As if. Who was I kidding? I hesitated to smile, but as his lips turned up and the doubt in his eyes softened, so did my defences. Crap, this weekend might be more challenging than I thought if I couldn’t stay unaffected by his smile. I had a million questions, but the heat from the flames was increasing. Distractions – I needed distractions. And time to figure out what to say to him. I should’ve spent less time deciding what clothes to pack and more on how to broach the tiny matter that we’d seen each other in our friggin’ dreams.
‘Need us to do anything, Cal? Where’s Amber?’ I asked.
‘She’s in the house somewhere. Uh, nope.’ He tipped his head and pointed behind us. We spun round as Amber, with her camera strung around her neck, skipped out of the house and pointed the lens in our direction.
‘Hey lovelies,’ she called and waved from the veranda. We waved back and the flash displayed an enthusiastic hello to match.
‘Get yourselves a drink, get comfortable, you know, the usual,’ Cal continued, still smiling at Amber’s interruption. ‘I’m just gonna get some more wood, then I’ll join you all.’ He trudged back to the shed, Tyler and Sean trailing behind.
Max looped her arm in mine and we strolled back up to the house. ‘C’mon, hon, let’s go get you an ice pack.’
I groaned and elbowed her in the side, and her mischievous laughter rang out over the expanse of the lake. She wouldn’t be laughing if she knew all the reasons I was a trembling mess. With the impending exchange between me and Tyler, I certainly wasn’t.
— 10 —
My hands found the distraction I needed by helping Marie carry drinks to the outside fridge, but my eyes still found opportunities to steal glimpses of the boys. Ridiculous. This attraction had appeared out of nowhere, and now I couldn’t make it go away. And if I was going to have any chance at a rational discussion about what sharing the same dream might mean I needed to push those thoughts aside.
I loaded up another armful of drinks and ignored the chorus of excitement when the guys barrelled through the doors into the bedrooms. Something about going in for a quick dip. It had been a mild day and only the faintest bit of warmth remained as the sun began to sink below the horizon, but it was entirely like Cal to wring out every bit of daylight even with the temperature dropping by the second.
I carried the drinks outside, smiling at the laughter that drifted from inside. The doors burst open and the three guys whizzed past me and jumped off the deck. I gaped at a bare-chested Tyler, and stood achingly still as they sprinted down the grassy slope and dived straight into the lake.
Their whoops and hollers echoed off the shimmering water.
‘You comin’ in, Luce?’ Cal yelled.
Hell no. It was the middle of April – freezing. My eyes darted to Tyler throwing a wave of water over Sean’s head. Okay, maybe I was more worried about the heat than the cold. But no one needed to know that. ‘You guys are nuts.’
‘C’mon, Luce,’ Max said, slipping through the door with Amber skipping up behind her.
‘You’re going in? It’s freezing.’ How would I get out of it now?
‘Where’s your adventure?’ She winked. ‘Tyler’s in there.’
‘You think I haven’t noticed.’ I waved my hand in the air. ‘Go on, I’ll be right behind you.’ That would bide me some time.
The girls ran to the water’s edge and squealed the moment they dipped their toes in. I turned my back on them. Yeah, the cold would drive them out before I’d have to join them.
I spotted the salad and chopping board on the kitchen bench and busied myself with a job Marie could handle perfectly well on her own. Especially considering we were ordering pizza for dinner. It was roughly fifty metres from the house to the water, but I easily heard their screams and laughter, followed by the endless cries for me to join them. I clenched my jaw. Damn it, why hadn’t I just gone in?
Silence descended, followed by a barrage of yells. I stood on tippy toe to see through the window; Sean sprinted up th
e grass toward the house.
My stomach leaped into my throat. Crap. I gripped the kitchen bench.
‘Sean!’ Marie shrieked seconds before his dripping wet body ran into the house. He stopped abruptly, panting, and clutched the door frame.
‘Come on, Luce, you’re missing all the fun.’ He jogged on the spot and wrapped his arms around himself.
‘I’m not missing a thing. I can hear you all from here. And look at you.’ I pointed to him. ‘It’s freezing.’
‘Only out here. And since when did that stop you?’ He was right, but I was damned if I’d admit it to him.
‘Since today,’ I said, not budging.
Sean grunted and turned to leave, at the exact moment Cal shoved in from behind him, and ran straight into the house dripping profusely onto everything.
‘Quick, Sean, help.’
‘Calvin, you’re soaked.’ Marie stepped in front of Cal, waving her arms, Billy Bob yapping at her feet. ‘Get out!’ But Cal’s grin was stronger than her shrieks and she backed into the sink. He turned his sneer on me.
I widened my stance, anchoring me to the spot. ‘Don’t you dare.’
My reaction time was a second too slow. I saw the intention in his eyes and spun to dart around the other end of the kitchen bench, but Sean, now brave enough to ignore Marie’s shrieks, had his sodden hand on my arm, his grip tight. I screamed when Cal wrapped his arms around me, and his wet skin and shorts soaked straight through to my clothes.
‘I’m gonna kill you two!’ I squirmed as they dragged me outside.
Cal threw me over his shoulder.
I pummelled my fists into his back in pathetic desperation. I writhed and yelled for him to stop, but my efforts were useless.
‘You’re gonna regret this!’ Someone tried to remove my shoes.
I heard a pained cry as I kicked something hard. ‘I hope that was your head, Sean.’ He deserved any blood that came from it too.
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