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Somehow “a girl half-angel thing” made me think of Alex’s migraines, and the other worry of these last few days. My hands clenched in my lap. I cleared my throat. “Listen, what about. . . what about hurting other people?” I asked. The words didn’t want to come out. “Us, I mean. ”
Seb’s eyebrows came together. “I don’t think I understand. ”
“Do we. . . ” I took a deep breath. “Do we cause angel burn to people when we touch them?”
Surprise spread over his face. “You mean hurt them, like the angels do? No, I don’t think so. I’ve touched a lot of people – holding their hand, giving them readings – and I think I’d have seen. ”
“I know, I’ve given a lot of readings too,” I said. “But what I’ve been worried about is whether it might be different for us. The angels only have to touch someone’s aura for a few seconds, but maybe with us it’s a matter of how close we get to someone physically. I mean. . . close like when you’re in a relationship. ” My face was a forest fire. I hoped he got what I meant, because I really didn’t want to be any more explicit.
“Oh. ” Seb rubbed the back of his neck. Yes, he’d gotten it. “No, I’ve never noticed that. ”
Suddenly I knew he’d had a lot more opportunities to notice it than I had, and I felt my face blaze even hotter. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to pry—”
He dropped his hand. “You’re not prying,” he said, though he still looked a little embarrassed. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. ”
I tried to push my own embarrassment aside and think where to start with all this. Or how to even word it. “Well – did you ever notice any of your girlfriends getting sick? Or damaged, like from the angels?”
“No, never,” he said firmly. “I would never have touched any girl in my life if I’d thought I was hurting her. ”
“And have there. . . been a lot?”
He grimaced, scraping a hand through his hair. “Not that many, but – well, more than I like to tell you,” he admitted. I could sense he wished the answer was different. “Not for a long time, though,” he added.
“Why not?” The words came out without thinking. Seb was so good-looking – it was hard to imagine he couldn’t have any girl he wanted.
He hesitated as he regarded me; again I caught that feeling of something being buried deeply. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “Always being with the wrong girl. . . I guess it made me feel lonelier than being by myself, after a while. ”
A pang went through me. Alex was the only boy I’d ever been involved with, but it still seemed like Seb and I had something in common. I’d been lonely for so much of my life too.
“I get that,” I said softly. “I really do. ”
His smile was rueful. “I wish I’d figured it out sooner,” was all he said.
I was aware of what a personal conversation this was, when we’d only met the day before – but it didn’t feel that strange somehow. And if Seb had had a lot of experience with girls, and he’d never noticed anything like what I was talking about. . .
Seb was still studying me. “This is about you and Alex, isn’t it?” he said. “You’re worried about him; I can feel it. ”
“He got a migraine a week or so ago,” I confessed. “And he’s been getting headaches a lot. I’ve been so scared it’s because of me; that I’ve been hurting him just by being with him. ”
Seb had closed his eyes, shaking his head at himself. He half laughed. “Ah, caramba. I gave the wrong answer, didn’t I? Can I change it? Yes, we cause terrible harm to humans. You should break up with Alex right now, so that you don’t injure him. Do you want me to go upstairs with you, and help you tell him? As your brother, I would be very happy to do this. ”
“Seb!” I almost laughed, though I still wasn’t totally convinced that I didn’t have anything to worry about. “So. . . you’re really sure?” I asked. “You never noticed any of your girlfriends getting migraines, or headaches, or anything like that?”
Seb’s expression turned gentle. “Yes, I’m sure. Willow, we’re half-human – why would our energy hurt them?” He touched my hand again briefly, his fingers comforting on mine. “Please don’t worry any more, querida. It’s all right, I’m certain of it. ”
Relief. Soaring, total relief. “Oh, thank god,” I whispered. “I’ve been so scared these last few days that I’ve been hurting him, and hating myself for not saying anything. I’ve felt like such an awful person—”
“You?” Seb gave a sudden grin. “No, you couldn’t be awful if you tried. You’re much too sweet for that. ”
“Sweet?” I made a face, laughing despite myself. “I am not. ”
“Oh, yes. I’ve seen this about you from the start. You like to help people; you care about them a great deal. You’re very—” Seb stopped, regarding me for a long moment. “Special,” he finished finally.
I winced at the look in his eyes. “Seb—”
“I’m saying this only as a brother,” he added firmly. “Brothers are allowed to say these things sometimes. ”
I couldn’t help smiling, even though I was shaking my head at him. I wasn’t hurting Alex – I really wasn’t. It felt like a million sunrises inside me. “So, you didn’t finish telling me what happened with your angel,” I said after a pause. “Did he keep nudging at you until you listened to him?”
Before Seb could answer, I heard the basement door open. “Hey,” called Alex’s voice down the stairs. “We’re about to go out. ”
I scrambled up from my cushion and went up the stairs to him. He’d been checking his gun, and was tucking it back into his holster. “Another hunt?” I asked, watching apprehensively.
Alex nodded. He had on his white thermal T-shirt with the red plaid shirt hanging open over it, and just looked so. . . gorgeous. “Yeah, I thought I’d take them out again – maybe to a different park this time, so the angels can’t start to predict what we’re doing. ”
I rested back against the wall, half conscious of Seb sitting just below. “Be careful,” I said in a low voice. “Please. ”
He smiled and touched my face. “I’ll be fine; don’t worry. I’ve been doing this for years. They’ve just got to get some more practice, that’s all. ” A cloud crossed his features, and I knew he was thinking about the Council; hoping Kara could find out what was happening – otherwise it wouldn’t even matter how much practice the AKs got. “Anyway, how’s it going?” he asked, nodding down the stairs.
“Really well,” I said. “I mean, we haven’t started the aura work yet, but. . . Alex, he’s helping me a lot. ” I stopped, realizing that I couldn’t say much without going into a long explanation; I hadn’t told Alex about how worried I was in the first place.
“Good,” said Alex. “I’m glad. ” And I knew he really was, though it was clear Seb still wasn’t his favourite person. He smiled, and brushed a strand of my hair back. “Got to make sure the guy earns his keep, at least. ”
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