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The house felt so still around us. I could see it all clearly – the angry young half-angel who’d been so badly hurt, in every way. Seb’s expression was thoughtful; his body relaxed. I could tell that he had understanding for his thirteen-year-old self, but no real connection to him any more.
“Then my angel came to me,” he went on. “He wasn’t happy, because I’d been acting so stupid that I’d almost gotten killed. He helped me up—”
“Wait – he helped you up?” I stared. “Can they do that? Touch you, I mean, so that you feel them?”
“It only happened that one time,” said Seb. “I don’t know, I think he—” He broke off, frowning, and finally sighed in frustration. “No. I can’t say what I mean in English. ”
“Wait, I think I know,” I said slowly, remembering how the angels of the Second Wave had wanted to be seen by the masses when they first arrived, even though angels can’t usually be seen except by those they’re feeding from. “You mean he. . . changed his frequency, somehow. Slowed himself down so that he was closer to the human plane, and could touch you. ”
Seb lightly slapped the sofa arm. “Yes! That’s exactly what I was thinking. You read my mind. ”
“Yeah, I guess we’re both sort of good at that,” I said, playing with the ring pull of my Coke. As we smiled at each other, warmth curled through me.
“So, my angel helped me up, and. . . ” Seb paused as he remembered. “He showed me what might happen if I didn’t change. Like, pictures in my head, you know? He showed me I would die – that someone would knife me in a fight, or maybe shoot me when I stole from them. But what would really kill me would be the anger. It was eating me up inside. ”
“You mean you saw your own future? I’ve never been able to do that!”
“No, I can’t, either. This was just a warning. ” Seb fell quiet, his eyes still in that other time. He took another sip of his Coke; put it back on the table. “And so I looked at these pictures of how I might die, and then I knew – the only thing I wanted was to find another of my kind. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, my whole life. When I was a young boy on the streets I was always looking, but after I escaped from the reformatorio I hated the world so much that I forgot. So then I thought, to hell with humans; I don’t care about them enough even to be angry at them any more – I’m going to find someone like me, no matter what. ”
I hugged a faded throw cushion, imagining it all. I knew what came next from what I’d seen in him yesterday – the years of searching, up and down the country. “I’m glad you found me,” I said after a pause. “Seb, I really am – I’m so glad. I’ve been lonely too. ”
“I know,” he said softly, studying my face like he was memorizing every detail. “I feel as if. . . I’ve known you for ever. The whole time I was searching, I always knew how much we needed each other. ”
He was so right that tears came to my eyes. I couldn’t help myself this time, and I sat up, clearing my throat. “Seb, can I – I mean, don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but—”
Understanding came over his face; he sat up too, swinging his legs forward. “Come,” he said in a quiet voice. “A brother can hug his sister, yes?” He held his arm out to me.
I wiped my eyes. “Yeah, he can. And – I’d really like that. ”
I shifted towards him on the sofa and we hugged tightly for a minute. It felt so good just to hold each other – like something I’d been missing my whole life. Seb’s arms around me were strong; he smelled of soap, and a sort of clean woodsy scent. I closed my eyes and pressed against him, feeling his heart beating against mine; the gentle shiver of our auras as they mingled. Seb let out a breath and dropped his head to my shoulder. “Willow. . . I can’t tell you how I feel, to find you after so long,” he whispered. “I’d stopped looking. I told myself, You’ll never find this girl; she doesn’t exist. ”
I pulled away. “‘This girl’? But—”
He hesitated; I noticed again the gold flecks in his hazel eyes. “I always knew it was you I was looking for,” he said finally. “I always felt so strongly there was only one other half-angel: a girl my own age. Then I saw your picture, and your dream – and I knew I was right. ”
My dream. Feeling flustered, I looked down at the sofa, at our legs almost touching each other. I didn’t even know how to explain my dream to myself, much less to Seb. Had I been reaching out to him in some way, without realizing I was doing it? I didn’t know – the only thing I was sure of was that somehow we were meant to be in each other’s lives.
“Why didn’t you tell Alex about my dream?” I asked suddenly.
Seb looked surprised at the question. “It felt too private. Like something that’s just for us. ”
Unfortunately, he was right. I let out a shaky breath. If Seb’s feeling had been right too, and it really was me he’d been looking for all this time. . . then what did that mean? When I was in love with someone else?
“But there must be other half-angels,” I said after a pause. “We can’t really be the only two in existence, can we?”
“I’ve never seen another one,” said Seb with a shrug. “Never. ”
For a fleeting second I wondered if Raziel had ever been to Mexico, but I knew it didn’t matter if he had been. Because I was positive that Seb wasn’t my half-brother, or even related to me in any way – there was no familial sense to him at all, the way I used to notice with Mom and Aunt Jo. No, Seb and I were just what we seemed – a half-angel boy and girl who had no connection to each other, beyond whatever force had somehow drawn us together.
I could tell Seb knew it too.
Neither of us spoke. I stared at Seb, taking in his high cheekbones; the beautiful shape of his mouth – and I thought, My god, what if we really are the only two half-angels in the entire world? My dream flew back to me again – the way he’d held out his hand to me, called me querida – and how all I’d wanted was to be with him, how just the thought of being apart from him, ever, had filled me with despair. And Seb knew I had dreamed this.
His eyes were very steady on mine. Remembering what I thought I’d sensed from him the day before, my cheeks caught fire. My dream couldn’t mean what it seemed; that was all there was to it – so if Seb thought he and I were destined to be soulmates or something, he was wrong. No matter what kind of connection the two of us had, it was still Alex I was in love with – Alex who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.
I moved away from Seb and snagged the bag of cookies from the table, busying myself with opening it. The plastic made a comforting crackling noise that filled up the silence. “You know, my dream wasn’t – I don’t think it meant anything,” I blurted out. “Or it did, but just that you and I are really close – really good friends. Because that’s all it can mean. ”
“Willow, it’s okay,” said Seb quietly.
Embarrassment wasn’t the word; I could hardly even meet his eyes. I cleared my throat. “Listen. . . maybe we should start doing the aura work. All we’ve done so far is talk. ”
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