I paused taking a moment to wipe a few tears from my face. “I want you to know that I’ve met a girl. She’s amazing. She makes me laugh and I haven’t truly laughed in a long time. She called me out on my shit about how I’m raising Cheyenne and about never letting a girl get close to me. But you know what I think? I think you sent her to me. It just took a long time for you to find her for me—or maybe you knew all along. Maybe you’re the one who made me move to New York where it’s closer to Boston. Maybe you’re the one who made Avery and me go on the cruise.
“I miss you, Dana. I never told you, but I hated seeing you cry when you were mad at me. How you cried when you found out that I cheated on you … I hated the shit I put you through—the shit I said to you. I’m surprised you never cut my dick off while I was sleeping.” I paused again, laughing a little at the image of her actually cutting my cock off.
“You never deserved any of it. You deserved someone better. Someone who wouldn’t have put you through hell. I hope up in heaven you’ve found that person, someone who has shown you what a woman deserves.
“Anyway, I need to wrap this up. The taxi driver is waiting for me and so are Cheyenne and Avery back at the hotel. I just wanted you to know that I plan on introducing Cheyenne to Brooke. I plan on her being in my life forever, so if you don’t want her to be in my life, you need to take her from me. And I deserve that. But Brooke deserves to be happy too and I will make her happy. I promise. I know that I don’t always live up to my promises, but in this case, I will.
“You were my first love and I’m positive that Brooke is my last love. She needs to dump the loser boyfriend she has, and when she does, I’m going to show her that men can change. I’m going to take every fight we had, every fuck up I did when we were together, and never do or say any of that again. I’m going to love the shit out of her and I know Cheyenne will too. Brooke’s special.”
I woke up to the sound of running water. I hadn’t slept well, tossing and turning as I’d thought about how much of an idiot I was.
I didn’t know how to react toward Eason after I’d turned our kiss into the most awkward moment of my life. I’d been imagining his lips on mine all week, and then when they were on mine, I’d enjoyed the feel of them … until I’d remembered Jared at home. I knew I was going to break up with Jared, but I believed in karma. I couldn’t cheat on him and feel good about being with Easton.
I needed time.
Easton was in the shower as I’d gathered my luggage. My right arm and shoulder were in the worst pain I’d ever felt. I’d gotten a massage the day before, hoping that would make it better, but it had only made it worse. It felt like the muscles were inflamed as if they were angry with me. Well, I was fucking angry at them!
When will the pain go away?
With my hand on the doorknob, I’d turned, looking for a piece of paper to write Easton a note. That was the coward’s way out, but when my heart was telling me to do something that my head wasn’t, I tended to freak out.
I wanted Easton, but I needed to do it right.
I was struggling with falling out of love with Jared and falling in love with Easton. I was scared. Jared had been a part of my life for a long time, like a comfort blanket, but the more I got to know Easton, the more I fell in love with him and out of love with Jared. I’d never experienced that before.
I didn’t love two men at once.
I loved one.
And he wasn’t my boyfriend.
I’d found a discarded receipt and wrote Easton a note on the blank side. It wasn’t goodbye, and I didn’t want him thinking it was. I was just an idiot and a coward, and I needed time.
I left the room, left Easton in the shower, and left without saying goodbye.
Maneuvering through the herd of people trying to get back to their appropriate rooms and instead of the rooms where they’d fucked each other’s brains out, I walked slowly like it was the walk of shame. I knew I was early getting to Nicole’s room, but I had seen an opportunity and taken it.
“Nic, it’s me,” I said, knocking loudly on the door. There was no answer. Knocking again, “Nicole, open the door, please.”
After a few seconds of silence on the other side of the door, I heard the deadbolt turn and then the door opened. “Really, B, it’s like eight o’clock. I thought we decided on nine?” Nicole asked, yawning.
“I kissed Easton last night, and I’m freaking the fuck out!”
“Oh shit! Okay, give me five to say goodbye to A and then we’ll talk.”
Nicole closed the door in my face and I groaned, turning around to rest my body against the door. My life was so fucked up at that moment, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.
Breaking someone’s heart was never a good thing. I didn’t want to hurt Jared, but I needed more. He wasn’t the one for me, and I’d already spent over four years of my time hoping he was the one. Sometimes situations happen to make you open your eyes and realize that you’re not in the right relationship. Easton gave me the attention that I was hoping Jared would give me. Was Easton right when he told me that the grass was greener on the other side? Or was he just caught up in the moment and wanting to get in my panties?
The door swung open behind me. “What up, B.B.?” Avery asked with a nod.
“Ready to go home and sleep in my own bed,” I answered honestly.
“It was nice meeting you. I’ll see you soon,” he said, kissing my cheek.
“It was nice meeting you, too.” I smiled.
Nicole kissed Avery goodbye. She looked sad, but we knew all along this day would come. I suspected she would start spending her weekends in New York.
“Are you ready to start being my best friend again?” I asked, pushing past her.
“I know, I know. But Avery is so …” She trailed off, leaning against the closed door of the room.
“I know, he’s great. And so is Easton,” I said, sitting on the end of one of the twin beds.
“Okay, tell me about this kiss.”
“We were dancing at the ball. Wait, how long were you two at the ball?”
“I don’t know, not that long.” She blushed.
“Of course not. Anyway, we were dancing for a long time. Took breaks to eat and get drinks. We were laughing and having a good time, and I forgot that it was the last night we would have together, and then it was as if he remembered, and he said it wasn’t goodbye. I said that I knew it wasn’t, and then he cupped my face with both hands and kissed me.
“It was the best first kiss that I’ve ever had. His mouth felt right against mine. I didn’t feel any physical sparks like I read about in those damn books, but there was just something about it that felt—perfect. And then stupid fucking Jared popped in my head, and I thought about karma. And I don’t want to start something with Easton when I’m with Jared, you know?”
“You love him.”
“Who?”
“Easton. You love Easton.”
“Nic …”
“You love Easton, and I fucking approve. When we get home, you need to break up with Jared and come with me to New York next weekend.”
I didn’t respond because I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Breaking up with Jared wasn’t going to be easy if I went with that choice, and if I tried dating Easton, he was over four hours away. Was that going to make me happy?
By the time our plane touched down in Boston, Nicole had told me every detail of her weeklong fuck fest with Avery. It was nothing new for us to tell each other every detail of our lives, but her story took up the whole five and a half hour plane ride home.
As we taxied to the gate, I turned on my cell and waited for it to boot up. I hadn’t turned it on since we’d left home eight days prior. Missed texts and voicemails popped up with fifty-seven unread emails. Being away from reality for eight days was bittersweet.
I dialed Jared to let him know that we had landed and to be ready for us at the curb outside baggage claim. There was no answer. I tried again, but there
was still no answer.
“What the fuck?” I said, staring at the phone after hitting the End button when Jared’s voicemail came on.
“What’s wrong?”
“Jared’s not answering.”
I tried again and still no answer, so I left a voicemail that we’d landed and to be waiting. I also sent a text for good measure.
“If he doesn’t show, I’m going to beat the shit out of him,” Nicole said, reaching for her carry-on bag in the overhead bin.
“He wouldn’t leave us. He knows we’re coming home today. I even printed the itinerary and put it on the fridge. He’s coming.”
We exited the plane and made our way to baggage claim. I tried Jared again, but still no answer.
“I’m glad you’re breaking up with him,” Nicole said as we waited for our bags at the carousel.
“I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.”
“Why? You fell in love with Easton and he wants you, too.”
“Yeah, but what if he just wants me for sex and doesn’t want a relationship? What if I’m throwing away a stable relationship for a fling?”
Nicole reached for her bag as it approached on the belt. “Listen to me. Jared is a piece of shit. Fuck, B, he isn’t even answering his phone right now and I will bet you a million dollars that he won’t show or will come very, very late. If things don’t work out with Easton, then at least you took a chance. You deserve so much more than lazy ass Jared.”
She was right. I wasn’t having doubts about breaking up with Jared, but it was going to be hard. No one wants their heart crushed, and he didn’t have anywhere else to go but to his mother’s, who only had a one bedroom apartment. Things would be awkward for a few days until he moved out—or I moved out. Whatever we decided.
“That’s my bag,” I said, pointing to it. Nicole reached down and picked it up for me. My shoulder was still hurting, and I was popping the pain pills like they were Tic Tacs.
I tried Jared again with no answer. When we walked out to the curb, he was nowhere in sight.
“That fucking asshole. How could he not show up?” Nicole huffed.
I was in shock myself. Was he hurt? Did something happen to him while I was away? I had no missed voicemails, texts or emails from him, his mom or any of his friends to let me know that something bad had happened to him. I started to freak out.
After waiting forty-five minutes (with multiple calls and texts to Jared), Nicole and I took one of the waiting taxis home. We decided that she would take me home first to make sure he wasn’t dead in the apartment or something horrific like that. Both of us were coming up with bad scenarios. Yes, Jared was a lazy person, but I never thought he would forget me at the airport after I’d been gone for such a long time.
We arrived at my apartment, and Nicole helped me with my bags. Fear was running through me as I slipped my key in the door and slowly opened it. I had watched too much Law and Order for my own good. I opened the door, and Nicole and I eyed each other with raised eyebrows, not saying a word as we stepped in, looking around. The apartment looked just like I had left it. Like Jared hadn’t stayed there at all.
“Looks like he cleaned. That’s a plus,” Nicole said.
“No, it looks like I left it. The mail that I set on the breakfast bar before we left is in the same place. The candles on the coffee table are in the same place. My bed is made. Jared never makes the bed.”
“Why would he not stay here if he lives here?”
“Beats the hell out of me. Maybe he stayed at his mom’s because he didn’t want to be alone?”
“Yeah … maybe,” Nicole said, still looking around the apartment.
After we’d scoped it out, she left since she had the taxi waiting. We both had to be at work early the next morning, and it was getting late. It was a little after eleven, and Jared still hadn’t called or shown up. I didn’t know what else to do other than to call his mom.
“Hey, Lisa, it’s Brooke.”
“Oh, hi honey. Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know. Sorry for calling so late, but I just got home from my trip and Jared didn’t pick me up. I was wondering if he was there at your house?”
“No, I’m afraid he isn’t here. He was here earlier doing his laundry, but he didn’t mention anything about needing to pick you up at the airport.”
“That’s okay. He probably forgot and is with one of the guys. I took a taxi, so I’ll just wait for him. Thank you again and sorry for calling so late.”
I hung up the phone and took a shower. It was close to midnight by the time I crawled into bed, hoping he would show up and that he was okay. Scenarios were running through my head, and I tried calling him one last time with no answer before sleep took over. I was exhausted and emotionally drained.
I woke up the next morning to a text from Jared:
Jared: Hey, babe! I’m glad you made it back from your trip safely. Sorry I didn’t pick you up. My mom fell and broker her wrist, so I was taking care of her, and it slipped my mind that you were coming home yesterday. I slept on the couch not to wake you. I’ll see you tonight.
Seriously, a text? I got out of bed, looking into the living room, but there was no sign that he had slept on the couch like he’d said. And the mom lie? Seriously? Why was he lying?
Me: I called your mom last night, but she didn’t say anything about you helping her. In fact, she told me that she hadn’t seen you since you did laundry and her place earlier in the day. What the fuck is going on, Jared?
I waited for a reply back, but it never came. I was pissed and wanted to strangle him.
“Oh my God, I’m so glad you’re back,” Lucy squealed, pulling me into her office. “Tell me all about the cruise.”
“It was great. Nicole and I went to a private island in Puerto Vallarta, zip-lining in Mazatlán, and I saw my sister in Cabo. We ate so much food and danced a lot at night. It was unforgettable,” I said, plopping into the chair in front of her desk.
There was no way that I would tell her about Easton. Lucy didn’t need to know everything in my personal life, and I really didn’t want to talk about the cruise since I didn’t know what Jared was up to, so I made my story short and sweet. I didn’t want to be at work. I wanted to be in the arms of Easton as he told me everything would be okay. I wanted to break up with Jared, and Jared not picking us up at the airport, not coming home and lying, was more of a reason to do so.
Lucy caught me up on everything that happened while I was away from the office. As she finished telling me about some drama with Ian and Mike, my cell buzzed in my hand.
Nicole:
Nicole: Dr. Sam can see you at 11. See you then.
Nicole hadn’t asked if I wanted to see her doctor, but my shoulder was still bothering me—especially from the massage that I’d really wanted—and I needed some relief. With everything going on, I couldn’t focus on work anyway.
I arrived at Dr. Sam’s office ten minutes before eleven and Nicole brought me to an exam room. As she checked my vitals, I filled her in on Jared. She wanted to rip his dick off for lying to me and not picking us up at the airport. I didn’t blame her.
Dr. Sam entered the room. She was a beautiful brunette around the same age as me and Nicole. Her shoulder length dark brown hair had a few curls in it to give it some volume, and her black rimmed glasses perched on her nose.
I started from the beginning, explaining how my shoulder had started hurting after my bowling party and how my regular doctor prescribed me muscle relaxers. I told her it was still hurting, even more so after the massage. I stared at Dr. Sam’s ruby red-stained lips as she spoke to me about the different possibilities my shoulder was hurting. She said that it could be job harelated and a result of how I sat at my desk. She instructed Nicole to bring me to X-ray and then check with the in-office physical therapist about stretches I could do for my shoulder.
After I’d met with both the X-ray technician and the physical therapist, Nicole and I went to lunch. As we at
e our salads, we decided I should act like it was no big deal that Jared lied to me and that he’d left us at the airport. When he let his guard down, I would slip two Ambien into his beer, and once he passed out, Nicole would come over with a scalpel she’d steal from work. As Jared slept, we would cut his dick off, Lorena Bobbitt style, and flee to Mexico. We giggled at the thought, but in the end we agreed the smarter choice would be for me to just break up with him.
After an hour lunch, Nicole and I went to her office and I waited in another exam room for the results of the X-ray.
“I’ll let Dr. Sam know we’re back and see if the results are ready,” Nicole said, closing the exam room door behind her.
I sat in the stark white room, flipping through a Women’s Day magazine. The moment I saw Nicole’s face when she walked in with Dr. Sam, I knew something was wrong. She grabbed my hand, clenching it tight without saying a word. Dr. Sam cleared her throat and my worst fears came true.
“Brooke, the radiologist found a mass on the X-ray.”
“You’re the best daddy in the whole world!” Cheyenne said, hugging me as we waited in the security line at LAX.
“Why is that?” I asked.
I already knew I was, but I loved when she praised me instead of being annoyed with me, especially since it was extremely early in the morning.
“Because Courtney’s at school right now, and I’m still on vacation.”
It wasn’t a good thing that Cheyenne was missing school, but I’d decided it was better to miss a day of school rather than attending with little sleep.
“That’s not a good thing, Peanut. It’s not good to miss school.”
“But I am.”
“Yes,” I nodded, taking off my shoes, “but you’ll have double homework tomorrow.”
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