“Okay, when?”
“Since it’s in-house and I work magic, I can get you in tomorrow.”
“Maybe I should just take the rest of the week off.”
“I’m sorry for the short notice, B, but Dr. Sam and I are pulling all the strings since you’re my best friend.”
“I know.” I sighed.
“Hey, hold on for a second.”
“Okay.” I rested my head on the back of my office chair as she put me on hold. I knew I would need more testing; I just didn’t know I would have it so soon. I was angry with my first doctor who told me that it was a pulled muscle and didn’t even touch my shoulder. If she had just taken the time to get an X-ray, I would know if I had cancer or not, and I’d probably have had the damn thing removed by now!
I was staring at the text from Easton and thinking about how he thinks of me as being Superwoman when Nicole got back on the line. “Sorry, B. Dr. Sam just came in, and she wants you to have a biopsy done, too.”
“Okay, just schedule me for whatever.” I sighed again.
The last few days, I’d noticed that I sighed a lot. It was as if the more I sighed, the more the weight on my shoulders would disappear. I didn’t want to deal with any of it. So many thoughts were running through my head. Things I could have done differently. I couldn’t imagine if I had cancer. The mention of a biopsy scared the shit out of me.
Nicole placed me on hold. After about five minutes of Michael Buble serenading me, she returned to the line. “I scheduled your biopsy for Saturday.”
“Saturday?”
“Yeah, it’s at the hospital, not here. That way, I can go with you.”
“Thank you,” I sobbed. No one had ever taken care of me, and just the thought of Nicole coming with me made me cry happy tears.
I didn’t know how she was getting me into everything so fast, but I didn’t care. The quicker I had everything done, the sooner I would be pain-free.
After I told Lucy about the tumor and assured her that I had been in my office the whole time, I went home for the day—well, the week. If Ian had a problem with me taking sick time, he could go fuck himself.
As I sulked towards my front door, I heard giggling. When I opened the door and saw Jared sitting on the couch with Tramp Tarah, I lost my shit.
“What the fuck?” I yelled, slamming the door behind me.
“Brooke, it’s not what you think,” Jared said, standing and putting his hands up defensively.
“Really? You have another girl in our apartment and it’s not what I think?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips.
“I should go,” Tramp Tarah murmured.
“You might as well take this asshole with you!” I shouted, pointing to Jared.
“Brooke, let me explain,” Jared said, stepping towards me.
I took a step back. “Explain what? Explain that you’re fucking cheating on me? Explain that you were with her when you were supposed to pick me up at the airport? Explain that you were with her when I found out I have a tumor in my shoulder and might have cancer?”
“Tumor? Cancer? Wait. What are you talking about?”
“It doesn’t fucking matter. Just get the fuck out!”
“I live here, too!”
“You have some balls if you think I’m going to stay in the same apartment as you when you’re a lying cheating bastard,” I said, turning his X-Box on.
“What are you doing? Put my shit down.” Jared reached to turn the X-Box off, but I nudged him out of the way. “Brooke, just let me explain. Tarah’s my friend.”
“Do you think that I’m an idiot?” I pulled Call of Duty from the slot.
“Seriously, put my shit back.”
I looked up at him as he hovered over me and, without a word, I snapped the game in half.
“What the fuck? You didn’t seriously just break my game!”
“Oh, I did. And I’m not done.”
“If you break my X-Box, I’m going to kill you!”
“You wouldn’t …”
Something inside me snapped more. I ripped the X-Box from the wall and threw it on the carpeted floor, but it only bounced a little, so I started to stomp on it. It crushed beneath my black ballet slippers as I jumped, hurting my feet in the process, but I didn’t care. The X-Box was his heart, and I wanted to crush it.
I didn’t love Jared like I thought I did but walking in on your boyfriend with another woman isn’t a fairy tale worth living no matter how unhappy you are with him. It felt good watching him freak out and gather the pieces of the crushed box.
“You’re fucking crazy! You’re going to buy me a new one.”
“You want to see crazy?” I ran into the bedroom, pulling open the walk-in closet door with too much force and stumbling back as I almost fell on my ass. I grabbed an armful of clothes and walked towards the front door.
“What are you doing?”
He raced to the front door, but he wasn’t fast enough. I threw his clothes over the railing of my second-floor apartment. I didn’t know where Tarah had gone, but I was thankful she’d left the door open when she left.
“Get the fuck out and have your tramp buy you a new one!” I said, coming back to the crushed X-Box and throwing a big chunk at his head. It shattered against the white wall as he ducked. After he told me I was crazy a few more times, he finally got the hint and left. I stared at the broken pieces.
Me: I went home early from work and walked into my apartment where Jared and Tramp Tarah were watching TV on MY couch.
I knew Nicole wouldn’t respond until she got off work, but I had another text to make anyway.
Me: I did it! I broke up with Jared.
I set my phone on the kitchen counter as I grabbed a glass of water and took two pain pills. My shoulder was on fire. I grabbed my phone when I heard a text come in:
Nicole: Are you okay?
Me: More than okay. I walked in on him cheating on me.
My phone started to ring in my hand. “I’m a fucking idiot,” I groaned without a hello.
“Want me to kill him for you?” Easton asked.
I smiled at his offer. “No, I don’t think I could survive on only conjugal visits with you.”
“Oh, so there will be sex in our future?” I could hear the smile in his voice.
I felt like a hypocrite for already moving on from Jared, but it also felt good that I hadn’t given in to temptation on the cruise. I wanted my relationship with Easton to start off with a clean slate. “There is definitely sex in our future. How does this weekend sound?” I smiled back, just thinking about him naked.
“Damn, you don’t take things slow,” he teased.
“Not when I’ve wanted to do it for ten days now.”
“You’ll need to come here. I can’t leave Cheyenne again. Being away a week—”
I cut him off. “Right, Cheyenne. Sorry, I was caught up in the moment. I can’t come there.”
“Oh …”
“I’m having a biopsy done on Saturday.” I sank into the couch, but quickly sprang up, remembering Tramp Tarah and Jared were just doing God knows what on it. “And I have to burn my couch.”
“I’ll figure something out. I really want to see you.”
“I really want to see you, too,” I sighed, looking around at the disaster I’d created.
I waited ten days. What was a few more?
“So … I met someone,” I said to my mother as she started to take a bite of her salad.
She started to choke a little on her food and then took a sip of her tea before speaking. “Are you trying to kill me? You could have waited until I didn’t have a mouth full of food!”
I grinned. “Sorry, I just couldn’t wait any longer.” I took a bite of my pastrami sandwich. Every week I met my mom for lunch and then we’d walk to Ferrara Bakery & Café in Little Italy because she couldn’t resist their cannoli.
Since the first day I’d met Brooke, most of my thoughts were of her. I was still trying to wrap my head around a
ll the emotions I was feeling. I wanted to talk to her every second I had; I wanted to drive to Boston and wrap her in my arms—fuck, I just wanted her.
If her tumor was cancerous, I didn’t want to waste any time being without her. I’d wasted a lot of time when I could have been a better person to Dana. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes.
Dana was my first love, but the more I thought about it, I thought that Brooke was my soul mate. I’d never believed in soul mates before, but I was starting to change my mind. Brooke was in every song I heard, in every TV show and movie I watched, and in every thought. She was my heart.
“Did you meet her on the cruise?” my mother asked, grinning wide.
“Yes.”
“When do I get to meet her?”
“That’s the thing. What if it doesn’t work out? What if I introduce her to Cheyenne and she gets attached, and then I fuck it up and we don’t work out?”
“Just take it slow and when the time is right, you’ll know that it’s okay to introduce her to Chey.”
“I can’t take it slow. She might have cancer.”
“Oh my,” she gasped.
“She needs me. Brooke doesn’t have anyone except her best friend, who is now in love with Avery.”
“I’m so confused. Her best friend knows Av?”
“Yeah, we all met on the cruise.”
“Brooke’s a lovely name.”
“I know.” I paused to take a sip of my beer. “I fell in love with her on the cruise—before any of us knew she had a tumor, and I can’t get her out of my head. I just want to be with her, but if she dies …” I shook my head at the thought and started to tear up.
“Oh, honey.” She reached over and grabbed my hand.
“If she dies and Cheyenne is attached—I just can’t do that to her again.”
“East, baby, Dana’s death was not your fault.”
“If I hadn’t cheated on her—if I were a better husband, we wouldn’t have been at the courthouse, and she wouldn’t have been driving on that street.”
“Oh, honey, God works in mysterious ways. It was her time. There was nothing you could have done to prevent her death. Her death was not your fault, and you need to stop beating yourself up. You need to move on and let love in again.”
“But what if Brooke dies and my heart is ripped from my chest again? From Cheyenne’s chest?”
“People fight cancer all the time.”
“That’s true … and she is strong. She raised her sister from the age of thirteen.”
“Where were her parents?”
I told my mom everything that Brooke had told me about her family. I also told her that she was having a biopsy done on Saturday. She told me not to worry about anything until Brooke got the results of the biopsy. But that was easier said than done.
I was freaking out, and I couldn’t imagine how Brooke was feeling. When I’d called her, we hadn’t really talked about it. I hadn’t wanted to bring it up. But if Brooke had cancer, I would be there to help her fight it—no matter what.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you this way. You know it makes me happy, right?” Her eyes were glossy as she spoke.
“What? That I’m in love?”
“Yes, this means I might get more grandchildren.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’ve only known her for two weeks, and I don’t even know if she wants kids.”
“All right, all right,” she said, holding her hands up. “I just haven’t seen you in love since Dana.”
“I know.” I smiled as I remembered Brooke’s smile.
My mother wiped the corner of her eye with her white linen napkin.
“I just … I just want to see her. I want to be there when she has her biopsy in case she’s scared. But I don’t want to leave Chey.” I sighed. “I was just without her for a week.”
“We’ll come up with something. I’ll take her to the mall and have her spend more time with Courtney.” She reached out and patted my hand. “Don’t worry. If you really feel this strongly about this girl—and clearly you do, then go be with her.”
I convinced Avery not to tell Nicole or Brooke that I was coming. If Avery were to tell Nicole, she would probably spill the beans, and I wanted to see Brooke’s face and surprise her before going in for the biopsy. I also just wanted to see her. I missed her laugh, her smile and her sense of humor. Everything was just better in person. Avery found out that the procedure wasn’t until noon, and that was cutting it close to the time of her biopsy, but I was going to make it, even if I had to get a speeding ticket doing it. I was going to be there for her.
Both Wednesday and Thursday night after Cheyenne’s softball practice, I talked to Brooke on the phone. It felt like we were on the cruise again, in the tiny room as we laid on the twin beds. Our conversation never faltered, and I tried giving her advice about Jared, but I didn’t want her to go back to him. He’d returned on Wednesday for his things, and Brooke and Nicole had watched him like a hawk while he boxed up his shit.
Brooke told me how he begged for forgiveness—that the girl was just a friend, but Brooke didn’t believe him. Hell, I didn’t believe him. I was once a cheater myself, and I knew how to work the system. Jared didn’t expect Brooke to come home early from work, and when she did, the cat was out of the bag and the shit hit the fan.
I couldn’t believe she smashed his X-Box and snapped his game in half. It terrified me, but I would never do such a thing to her now. I’d been there and done that, and I’d grown.
Brooke knew something was off when she came home from the cruise to an apartment not lived in. I told her that he’d probably stayed at the girl’s place because he hadn’t wanted to fuck a girl on her bed. She was relieved but still bought new sheets—new sheets I couldn’t wait to christen.
We talked about my superstar on the softball field. I didn’t know that Brooke had played, but it made me that much more excited about the possibility that she could teach Cheyenne, too.
Everything I found out about Brooke made her that much more perfect for me and it scared me, but at the same time, it excited me. I wanted this—I wanted her.
Every day, I couldn’t wait to talk to her. I was trying to play it cool and not act like a total girl, but I craved her. I wanted to show her that I was there for her, and I was going to figure out how to be with her. Long distance relationships didn’t always work out, but I was determined to make this one last.
When I wanted something or someone, I made it work.
Just like my dad once told me, Brooke made my dick hard when she walked into a room, and she put a smile on my face at the same time. That’s when you know you’re in love. Just hearing her voice on the phone each day and night did the same thing. I jerked off every night after we hung up the phone, and then went to sleep dreaming about her. Usually, I would jerk off to porn, but just remembering her smile and laugh was all I needed to get off. I was a total mess, but I liked it—loved it.
I wished Brooke luck when I spoke with her Friday before I had to start my shift at the bar. She thought that I wouldn’t get to talk to her again before her procedure, and I knew she was scared, but I assured her that she was in good hands with Avery and Nicole. I’d even given flowers to Avery to bring to her to let her know that I was thinking of her.
“You can never give me shit again,” Avery said as I handed him the red roses.
“Fuck off. Yeah, okay, all your talk about finding the one and love at first sight—I was wrong. Now get the fuck out of my sight, and don’t ruin the flowers.”
“Damn, I thought love was supposed to make you happy,” he said, shaking his shaggy blond hair.
“It would if I were in love with you.”
“You know you love me.” He puckered his lips to give me a kiss.
I pushed him away. “I’ll punch you in the face so fucking hard if you ever do that again.”
He laughed and got into his truck, and I went into the bar to get ready for the fiv
e o’clock rush that wouldn’t let up until we closed.
“What time do you get off?”
And there it was. The same question asked nightly by multiple women who had me serve them one too many drinks throughout the night.
In the past, this was the moment where I’d take a chick in the back and have her blow me, but not now. I only wanted one chick to blow me, and she was a four and half hour drive away.
“Sorry, babe, I’ve got plans after work. What can I get you to drink?”
“I bet I can make it worth your while if you change your plans.”
“Not going to happen,” I said, shaking my head at the tipsy blonde.
Two weeks ago, I would have been all over this chick. She was blonde with pretty blue eyes and a nice rack. Of course, I couldn’t help but look as she’d leaned over the bar, trying to get my attention. I was a guy after all.
“Here, if you change your mind.” She slid a business card to me. I took it, glancing at the front. Mistress Renee. “For now, I’ll take a vodka cranberry.”
I made the vodka cranberry and tossed the business card on the shelf near the cash register. I had no intention of using it; I just didn’t want to throw it away in front of the girl.
As I watched the girls dance together on the dance floor and the guys watch from the sidelines as if they were prey, I realized this wasn’t my scene anymore. I didn’t have that urge to have a random chick suck my dick; I had the urge to please Brooke any way she wanted.
I tried to concentrate on making drinks since we were swamped, but all I thought about was Brooke. Damn my father for being right. This woman consumed my every thought, but honestly, I didn’t care.
I called Bethy and had her come in to relieve me. I needed to get to Boston.
Me: What’s Nicole’s address?
Avery: Why?
Me: I need the roses.
Avery: I gave them to B already. We’re having dinner.
Me: What’s B’s address then?
As I neared the exit to take to get me to her apartment, Rascal Flatts came on the radio, singing about not wasting time with the one you love and to give it all as if it was your last day. I couldn’t waste any more time. I needed her to know how I felt. I needed her to feel what I felt, and I wasn’t leaving Boston until she knew.
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