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Daizlei Academy Omnibus Collection

Page 56

by Kel Carpenter

Made me want to feel.

  “Why aren’t you opening the door?” he whispered, his lips grazing the hollow of my ear. I narrowed my eyes and reached behind me for the cold handle of the bedroom door. Inside, the marble floors were black with gold veins. A canopy bed made of ebony loomed in front of me, a crackling fireplace at the foot of it. I scowled at the dark chambers. They were beautiful and far too sensual for my liking.

  Approaching the long dresser, I began pulling drawers open. Plucking a shirt from one, pants from another, and even a pair of underwear from the last. I didn’t think about the clothes or whose they were as I slammed the drawers shut. I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to analyze.

  But I was not the same Selena that died either. I was not the girl that could simply escape inside my own mind. Nor did I have the emotional capacity to feel much more than icy rage and bloodlust. Yet…the embers were there. Still burning. Still waiting. I just didn’t see it until now. Until I let Aaron too close.

  I thought no one could hurt me, no one could touch me, but I miscalculated because he could do something I hadn’t foreseen. He could make me feel.

  A cough behind me made my head snap up. “Do you need something?” I tensed as he drew closer, prepared to put a shield between us before he tried anything funny.

  “You’ve changed,” he said. I let out a caustic laugh and slowly rose to my feet. You could say that.

  “What would give you that impression?” I said, crossing my arms over my chest, my face a mask of apathy. Aaron stared at me, his eyes burning like the flames of hell. Dark and devilish.

  “You let the other one in.” He said it like I betrayed him. Like I hurt him. I shrugged callously, not denying it. Maybe if he knew I wasn’t the only one in this pretty little head of mine, he might get it through his thick skull that we were nothing. I didn’t have room for him in, for any of them, outside my need for revenge.

  “I did what I needed to do,” I replied in a monotone voice. I sounded like death, but he didn’t back away. His eyes bore into mine as he stood his ground.

  “No, you did what was easy. I was there, Selena. Hell”—he threw his arms wide to make a point—“I saw what happened. I watched you snap and I carried you out. Don’t tell me you did what you needed to do. The only person you’re lying to is yourself.” He took a step forward dropping his hands. “You want to be angry? Okay, be angry. You want to go after her for what she did? We’ll go after her. But don’t—” His voice cracked, sending another spear straight into my frozen lake. I took a step back until I was flush against the dresser. “Don’t do this. Don’t be this…unfeeling thing. Because you still feel. I can see it when you look at me. You are still in there, but you’re choosing to feel the wrong things and eventually it will destroy you.”

  He took another step towards me and reached forward. His fingers stopped before they could ever touch my face, running into the invisible barrier I kept between us.

  “My emotions were what made me weak. They were what got my sister killed. I will never be weak again,” I said. His fingers fell to his side, closing into a fist.

  “Your emotions are what keep you grounded. Without them, you’ll spiral out of control until the voices consume you,” he whispered. “Your rage has you by the throat, Selena, and you don’t even see it.”

  Seconds ticked by as we stared each other down, and after nearly a minute I finally said, “I need to take a shower.”

  I told myself it wasn’t admitting defeat as I gathered my clothes and walked away. I pretended that I was the bigger person for walking away and slamming the door in his face. I lied to myself when I said that he was wrong. He wasn’t. My pain. My anger. My hurt. I had taken those things and let them fuel my desire for vengeance.

  I shoved my thoughts away, glaring at the venetian bathtub. There was no shower and I would not bathe, but I couldn’t just walk out of here either. Aaron would know something was up, and I was not giving him that satisfaction. Glancing across the obsidian counter, a cup appeared in front of me.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I muttered. Making sure the drain wasn’t plugged, I turned the cold water on full blast and settled into the tub. Over the next half hour, I washed myself with a cup. From the back of my mind, Violet said nothing as I washed the blood from my hair and scrubbed the black from under my nails. The dirt and the dust, and the gore of that battle went down the drain at last, but the darkness in my heart—my soul—that was something that would never leave me. Aaron may be right that my rage was going to consume me, but if I went down, I was taking the world with me. And that was something I could live with.

  Chapter 99

  Cold shackles rubbed at my wrists. I coughed, my throat dry and burning. The air was stale with an unsettling coldness that made me shiver.

  Where am I?

  I pulled back, trying to get up and stand, but a sudden pounding in my head made me cry out. My knees hit the ground with a crack and the chains clanked together. I hunched over ready to vomit, but nothing would come. The dry heaves continued for another few moments before the grinding of rusty hinges had me forcing it down.

  Someone was opening the door of my cell. Why I was in a cell, I still didn’t understand. What had I done?

  I couldn’t seem to remember.

  Fire illuminated a man’s face as he strode toward me. I shrunk back into the wall, not wanting him to touch me. Not wanting him to burn me. But there was nothing I could do when he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

  “You’re not going to fight me, are you?”

  This wasn’t a question. It was a demand. An expectation. The temperature of the room decreased even further, almost…arctic. I swallowed hard and shook my head no just the tiniest fraction. He beamed a smile that was all teeth.

  “Very good. It wouldn’t be very smart of you to try.” The smallest of whimpers escaped me as he stroked my matted hair. I smelled like a sewer. The air was permeating with the stench of my fear. But that didn’t deter him.

  “You’re prettier than I expected.”

  I flinched at his words. They weren’t meant to be kind.

  His hands touched the shackles and they fell away, leaving me backed into the corner of a dirty cell with only the man and his torch standing in front of the door. The thought of running crossed my mind, but only for a moment. It would be stupid, and likely anger him. I was better off going with him and biding my time.

  They would come. They always do.

  The man stepped back, reaching out a hand. Tentatively, I placed my dirty fingers in his, shivering when his closed around mine. He pulled me to my feet, the pounding in my head becoming unbearable within seconds. I put my free hand to the wall, trying to brace myself against the overwhelming dizziness and urge to vomit.

  “You’re hungry,” he observed, pulling me towards him. I was helpless to stop him as his arms snaked around my back and he picked me up under the bend of my knees. “Lucky for you, your master wants you trained.”

  Master? I didn’t have a master.

  What happened? How had I ended up here?

  The last thing I remembered was sitting in the forest. We were supposed to be leaving that day. I was supposed to wait, but there was someone in the trees. I turned and—

  The cries and moans of others made me curl inward, but I said nothing. His footsteps were silent as the grave as he carried me down one dark corridor to the next. We made enough turns I got lost, but that could be because he wanted to confuse me. After all, I’d been in shackles. I don’t know what kind of people would put someone in shackles without mal intent. Still, I stayed silent.

  They will come for me. They always do.

  I repeated it thrice before he came to a standstill. He laid me on the bed gentler than I would have expected for the type of man I could only assume him to be. A door slammed shut and panic filled my chest as I looked around.

  “This is your bedroom. You will remain here until you have been trained well enough to do as yo
u’re told. That won’t be a problem though, will it, pretty Made?”

  Pretty…Made? No, that can’t possibly be right. I shook my head as the darkness inside me unfurled. Something thick and ugly seized my throat, making me suffocate. I looked up to the man with the dark silver eyes. No…I can’t be a Made. That’s not possible. I can’t—

  “It will please your master that you are docile. So much more pliant than he was expecting.” His eyes glassed over as someone entered through the door behind him. I shuffled to the side of the bed, peaking around him.

  It was…a girl.

  “Ahh, your dinner has arrived. Excellent.”

  No. No. No…

  I retched, but that only made him laugh. The girl came closer, but I held a hand up for her to stay away. I didn’t want her near me. I didn’t want to chance that he might be right.

  “You won’t be able to fight it, try as you might. It’s best to just relax.” I couldn’t tell if he meant his words to be reassuring. They were soft, seductive, and made my skin prickle. He motioned for her to step forward and I tried to jerk back. Cold hands locked around my wrists, forcing me to stay kneeling on the bed as the girl drew near.

  Her brown eyes were meek. She cast them downward as she advanced. When she was only a foot away, she stopped and slid her long brown hair over one shoulder, exposing a slender pulsing neck.

  She was pale, so very pale. I distantly wondered if she ever left here. Wherever here was. But the longer she stood there, invading my space with her sweet scent, the more something in me changed. Something in me awakened.

  I blinked once and my hands were no longer bound. They were pulling that pale throat closer and closer. I ran my nose over her artery, caressing her skin. The pumping in her veins absolutely transfixed me. I’d never heard anything so captivating and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I’d never wanted something so badly that I couldn’t control myself. Stop myself.

  I kissed her neck softly, and then I sank my teeth into her.

  Chapter 100

  I woke in a cold sweat with someone on top of me. Without thinking, I lashed out, my body bucking off the bed as I psychically threw the person across the room. Tremors shook me as shadows skated across my visions. The whispers were already calling for blood.

  I jumped to my feet, ready to strike, when the lights turned on.

  “What’s going on?”

  I recognized the girl before me. I’d seen her a thousand times, and yet, I could not place the face I knew to an entity that I cared for. I couldn’t connect anything outside the pounding in my veins that had me clenching my fists.

  “Get out, Amber,” said the person I had thrown. I eyed him coldly, cocking my head to the side, examining my prey.

  “I’m not leaving you in here with her like this,” the person at the door snapped. I narrowed my eyes and prepared to defend myself in a crouched fighting stance. Her fear sang through the air, promising the whispers an easy kill. This one was afraid.

  “Selena. I need you to come back right now,” the other one whispered. The one with the black and yellow eyes. He was trying to distract me. Footsteps down the hall had me hissing. My fingers curled into claws as the whispers berated me. Kill her. End her.

  “Leave, Amber. I can handle her,” said the male.

  “I’m not leaving you—”

  “Why are her eyes black?” said the red-haired she demon in the doorway. Behind her, others were lining up. Readying to fight.

  “Selena,” the male said again. The embers inside me flared, searching for something to catch fire. Something to bridge the gap.

  To cross the carefully constructed void of nothingness that I’d built for myself.

  “Selena,” he repeated. The room stood still as the entities inside me battled for dominance. I was the monster. The killer. The whispers spoke destruction and I gave it to them.

  I was the protector. The fighter. The girl who felt too much, only no one could see it. I needed to fight this. There was a reason I needed to fight the whispers. I need to smother the rage. I needed the cage the monster.

  “He’s calling her back,” someone whispered.

  My concentration snapped.

  Phantom hands lunged for the girl at the same time a shield moved to stop them. My power slammed into an invisible force and I growled. The monster inside me lunged to the surface and swirling energy shattered the shield like glass.

  “She shouldn’t be able to do that,” a blonde-haired demon said.

  “She’s a matter manipulator under strain. It’s the bond madness,” said the male. I could sense him creeping closer. Something warm brushed my mind making me stiffen. “That’s right. I’m right here. I’m right—”

  I lunged for him.

  “No!” someone screamed. Black flames rose up around me, trapping me in. On the other side, pure golden eyes stared back, and I reached for him, but I couldn’t break through. The flames licked at my skin, singeing my clothes. Fire could not hurt me, but this fire trapped me. It confined me.

  I turned on the redheaded demon controlling the flames. Her eyes bled black and she stared me down. “I want Selena back. Now,” she demanded. Something about her calmed the rage inside me and silenced the whispers. As sudden as my monster had taken control, it receded.

  Only then did I realize I was mistaken. The she-demon—as the other me called her—was Alexandra. Falling to my knees, I curled in on myself, trying and failing to process what just happened.

  The black flames dissipated as Alexandra came toward me. Her eyes faded back to brown as she crouched down. I didn’t say anything as she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close. I couldn’t bring myself to hug her back. Over her shoulder, Amber watched me warily. She had been the one I homed in on first. The one who didn’t want to leave Aaron with me, and looking at it now, I couldn’t blame her.

  I thought coming together with Violet had saved me. I thought I had my rage under control, but a single nightmare provoked everything inside of me and I turned savage. Unable to think or process who I was seeing. They were all a threat, and I couldn’t see past that.

  Blair stepped forward, her mouth set in a grim line. She sighed deeply and gave me a look like she didn’t know what to do with me as she said, “We need to have a talk.”

  “That’s an understatement,” Johanna muttered.

  Chapter 101

  We gathered in the living room at three in the morning. The atmosphere was heavy, thick with tension and unspoken words. The black cotton shirt I wore was singed up to the elbow from the flames. Black flames. Flames that could trap me. I didn’t know what to think of that. I didn’t know what to think about a lot of things right now.

  “Did you know that you are part demon?” Johanna said, getting straight to it. My eyes snapped to hers. She sat with one leg drawn up, her arm resting on her knee.

  “I’m not part demon.” Even as I said it, my eyes sought Alexandra. Her eyes had turned black, just like a demon.

  I could deny everything. I could lie through my teeth to them. All of them.

  But I saw it with my own eyes.

  Could I really lie to myself?

  “Oh, you are. I’m quite certain. Both of you are.” Her eyes skipped between me and my redheaded sister. My mouth thinned.

  “How is that even possible? You yourself said all half breeds have golden eyes,” I retorted. I wanted to snarl at the accusation, rapidly realizing my emotions were not locked in tight.

  “Yes, because the only children demons have are other demons or Vampires. They defy the natural order, Selena. I didn’t think I needed to explain that.” Johanna’s voice was hard and unflinching. I don’t believe she meant to be aggressive, but her abrasive tone was grating me.

  “Then how do you know we’re part demon? You don’t have proof.” I crossed my arms over my chest, looking between her and Alexandra.

  “You are impervious to fire. Your eyes turned black. Your sister called upon hellfire, and now that her demon and
yours have surfaced, I can see them in your auras. You are part demon, Selena, whether you like it or not. I needed to know if you knew that, because if you knew and kept this from us—”

  “What would you do?” I couldn’t keep the sneer out of my tone as Violet pushed forward. I snapped at my other and shoved her back. Her job was to keep us balanced, not to act as my mouthpiece. Violet shrugged coldly and settled. I would deal with her later.

  Johanna still hadn’t answered as she watched me. Assessing me. Studying me. I could see it on her face that she knew what just happened, and I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

  “You may be powerful, Selena, but you are not a god. There are not many things I have asked for, but I need your honesty if we are going to keep everyone safe.” Her words were not a threat, and it was the only thing that kept me seated with my mouth shut. I nodded once to convey I understood. She let out a breath and gave me a tight nod in return.

  “So, we’re part demon. Question is how it happened, and who do we get it from?” Alexandra said. It didn’t take me any thought at all to figure out which parent would be responsible—which one was prone to rapid, unexplainable mood swings.

  “It has to be mom,” I said. She nodded a few times and looked at Blair next to her.

  “That means you are, too,” she said to our cousin. I looked at Elizabeth standing against the wall behind Johanna. Her eyes were dark and unreadable.

  “And you,” I said to her. Elizabeth swallowed hard but didn’t respond otherwise.

  Demon. Like the very creature that carved me up. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. It did explain a bit, but…was Violet the demon? Or was it the monster?

  “I am not the one you are afraid of,” Violet answered.

  “That’s exactly what a demon would say.”

  “You don’t have to believe me, but I strongly warn against you locking us out.”

  “Us? You and it talk now? What the hell is going on, Violet?” My face must have shown something because the others were beginning to stare.

 

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