“What is she?” I asked. The corner of her mouth curled ruefully as if she knew.
“That’s not important for the moment. What is, is that you sacrificed yourself so that your sisters would live. It was a selfish sacrifice in itself. However . . .” Her voice trailed off, and I sensed that what she said next was going to decide something, though for the life—or should I say death—of me, I didn’t know what. “In doing so, you did it with balance. You didn’t swing the scales to the side of good—as we’d intended.”
I lifted both eyebrows, not sure what she was getting at. “What’s that mean for me? For the prophecy?”
A ghost of a smirk crossed her features and then she lifted her head indifferently and started back for her throne. “That remains to be seen.”
I blinked, anger starting to build, though I let them keep talking. “She is a neutral entity,” Nyx said. “The only true one, aside from ourselves. She is neither good nor evil. Perfect and imperfect.”
“She holds honor but does not seek glory,” the Dragon noted. “A curious combination.”
“She has might,” the Consort asserted. “Though she hides it, instead preferring to use cunning until the time is right.” His savage eyes slid sideways to the dark beauty on his right. “Much like another I know.”
“Somehow, a child of the two most destructive families that we’ve unleashed upon the world grew up to be a completely balanced entity,” the Three-Faced Goddess mused. “She completed the prophecy, but the wrongs have not been righted. There is still work in the world to be done. Red to be wiped from the ledger. Death to bring so that the dawn may come—a match to the thousand years of darkness.” She tapped her nails against the wooden arms of her chair, similar to the Dragon. “In allowing Valda to be your spirit guide and Livina to shape the events of your life, they somehow managed to mold you into something that has not been for a very long time.”
“And perhaps will never be again,” Nyx inserted, drawing a sly glance from the Three-Faced Goddess.
“Perhaps,” she relented with a hard tone. Nyx’s face betrayed nothing, but I got the sense they were debating something without saying it.
“There is the matter of the sister . . .” the Dragon started.
“She must be watched,” the Consort added.
“Should she ever grow in strength again . . .” Nyx murmured, allowing her voice to trail off. “None other can face her.”
“And then there is the matter of the world itself,” the Dragon said, a weary note taking root in his tone. “My people have been punished for silence long enough.”
“Mine have paid their debt in blood,” Nyx added.
“Mine have lost too much in this war so that balance may be had,” the Consort added, his voice booming with strength.
“Yes,” the Three-Faced Goddess said after a moment of tense silence. “We demanded payment and it has been given, but in doing so it left the world without a protector.”
“Then we are in agreement?” Nyx asked.
“Yes,” the three gods said in answer.
They stood then, the four of them in their beautiful and terrifying forms. While they wore human skins, it was their eyes that betrayed that there was more to each of them than what they seemed. Four beings so great the world worshipped them for millennia. I always wondered why the Witches put their Goddess above all. It was hard to look upon one and not see why.
“Selena Foster, Daughter of Nyx, you did what was asked of you, unlike your ancestors before you,” the Three-Faced Goddess began. “You learned from your mistakes. You grew beyond the hard beginnings. You aren’t perfect, but we don’t need someone perfect.”
My eyebrows drew together. That anger that had started was already fizzling out as confusion took its place. “What do you need?” I asked.
“Someone we can trust.”
My lips parted. “I don’t understand.”
“We need a Vessel,” the Goddess said. “One whom has honor, and power, and might, but above all—balance.”
“But . . . don’t you choose three among the Witches?” I asked her. The Goddess shook her head, her braids swaying as she did so.
“I do, but you would not be my vessel. You would be ours. A Vessel of the Gods. Someone to right the wrongs and usher in a new age. Someone that can maintain the balance.”
“Wait a second,” I started. “I’m dead.”
“Perhaps,” the Three-Faced Goddess said. “Or perhaps, there is another way.”
“You’re offering me the chance to go back,” I said, not quite believing what I was hearing.
“If you want it,” she answered. “With conditions.”
I stilled, my heart already sinking. I should have known it was too good to be true. These were the same gods that demanded the price to begin with. “Conditions?”
“You are to hold true to our tenants. To be honorable and not seek glory. To be mighty, and not crush those beneath you simply because you can. To be powerful enough to stop any threats you may need to. To correct the balance, for which my vessel—as you’ve pointed out—broke.”
“What do you mean by correct the balance?” I asked her suspiciously.
“In punishing the world we allowed evil to grow. Now that evil must be removed. Torn out by the roots if you must. You’re not to replace it as evil, nor are you to decide what is good. You’re not to choose sides because we have chosen for you. You would exist to maintain both good and evil so that neither grow more powerful than the other again.”
“Will you ask me to kill my sisters again?” It was the question I actually had been trying to ask without saying it. The truth was that if they said yes, it still tempted me to go back, but ultimately I wouldn’t. If they said no . . . maybe there was a deal to be had.
A balance to be struck.
“No,” the Three-Faced Goddess said solemnly. “However, it will be your duty to ensure that she never grows to be as she was.”
“And if she does?” I asked.
The gods looked between themselves. It was Nyx who spoke.
“It’s a large world that we created. There’s a lot of places to fix. As the darkness grows so must the light. A night without stars is simply darkness. A star without night is only day. You’re to commit your life to finding the middle, in every way you can.”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” I said. There was light in her eye. A glint of something that the other gods didn’t have.
“Perhaps you’re asking the wrong questions,” Nyx replied.
“Your time to choose grows short, child,” the Three-Faced Goddess added. “The aether calls to you, but your signasti holds the shreds of your soul tight. It’s your decision whether you choose to return to them or remain here.”
“Wait,” I paused. “How will I know if something is good or evil? Most things exist in-between. You say I’m not to choose because you’ve chosen for me. How will I know if it’s your will?”
“Use your judgement,” the Goddess answered.
“And if I judge wrong?”
“Fix it.”
I blinked. Was it truly that simple? I wasn’t sure, but I knew with a certainty that I wanted to go back.
“I’ll do it,” I said, the words pouring out as the timer ticked down. “I’ll be your Vessel. I’ll right whatever wrongs I need to. Just . . . send me back to them.”
The four gods nodded, and in the blink of an eye, three of them disappeared.
Only Nyx remained, standing in front of her throne. She looked on me with an emotion I hadn’t seen from anyone in a long while.
“It is done,” she told me quietly.
“Then why am I still here?” I asked. She smiled then; a real smile. A true one. It was so beautiful my knees went weak.
“I have a gift for you,” she said.
“A gift?” She nodded, striding forward. Her silk gown trailed behind her, sliding down the steps with the fluidity of water. “What is it?” I asked.
“A cha
nce to say goodbye.” Her attention flicked to something over my shoulder, and I knew without looking who stood there. My heart swelled.
“Why?” I asked. She regarded me with a quiet sort of content.
“The way you look upon us is the way your world looks upon you. In all the years the earth has stood, none of my children have been as truly mine as you.” She reached up and brushed the hair from my eyes. “I have loved you more than any before you, and any that will come to be.” She kissed my forehead and then turned to leave.
“Wait.” I reached for her. She paused, glancing back over her shoulder. “I have to know. Why did the gods leave us? Why did you leave us?”
Nyx lifted an eyebrow.
“There are forces out there even more powerful than gods. Why do you think you’re my chosen heir? The one I’ve been waiting for?” I tried to take it in, knowing that this was probably the only chance I would ever have to ask.
“Why does a god that can never die need an heir?” I asked.
Nyx smiled and it was mischievous and full of secrets.
“Fix the balance, Selena, and perhaps you will find out.”
With that, her presence dissipated into a scattering of dust and my heart ached.
She wasn’t really gone. I knew that now. I felt her in the air and through the floor. She existed in the very matter of the universe. She existed in me.
And maybe, just maybe, if I did the job they asked of me—I’d see her again.
But now was not the time for that. It was the time to say goodbye to my oldest and dearest friend.
I turned around, and she stood before me.
Black hair and violet eyes. We looked so alike we could have been twins. She was dressed in leathers and fur. I knew without asking that they were the clothes of her people a thousand years ago.
“The aether calls,” Valda said.
“Are you ready for it?” I asked.
“I am.” She nodded and then smiled. It wasn’t manic or crazed. It was genuine.
My heart wanted to break with this goodbye. I was getting a second chance, but it was without her. She’d been with me so long I couldn’t remember a time she wasn’t there.
My eyes watered, and she threw her arms around me, pulling me to her. Tears ran down my cheeks as I hugged her fiercely. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’ve passed from generation to generation of my children and watched them die. It’s my turn now. I can finally be with my baby and my true love. We never got to be together in life because of who I was and what I became. Now we will be. You gave that to me.” She clung to me tight enough that as I fell apart, she still held me together.
“I don’t know if I’m ready.” I felt her lips curve up against my temple.
“You broke the curse. You did it, and you’re getting to go back and live out the rest of your days with them. There’s nothing to be ready for. You’ve already done it. You fought and you won the war. Whatever is left will be easy compared to the path you’ve already walked. It’s your reward, and when your time comes—I’ll be here. Waiting. We have eternity.” Wet, messy tears poured from my eyes, smudging against her skin.
“I’m going to miss you, Valda.”
“I’m going to miss you too.” She kissed my temple. “But it’s not forever,” she insisted. “Just for now.”
I opened my mouth, trying to find words to say something meaningful in the end. It came too soon. She broke apart in my arms, much like Nyx, disintegrating into dust.
I didn’t even have time to fall to my knees in anguish. The darkness closed in again, and this time there was that nothingness. I don’t know how long I was suspended in it.
One moment I closed my eyes.
The next I opened them, and the pale light of a new dawn greeted me.
Chapter 167
Sunlight filtered through wispy pale blue drapes. They played in the breeze, lifting and twining with the air, dancing just for me. I lifted a hand for them, and the soft material slipped between my fingers.
“You’re awake.”
I turned my head, pulling my gaze from the gentle show to the man at my side. His hair was clean but messy and unkempt. His eyes tired. Those were the first hints that I’d been gone for a while, yet again. Then there was the clash of metal kissing metal from beyond the open window. The wild grunts. The boisterous yells. I knew those sounds. These people.
It was the Shifter training yard.
I was home.
“I wasn’t sure you’d wake,” Ash said. “But I was determined to be here this time if you did.”
I smiled and reached for him. My joints popped with the movements, and my muscles ached to be stretched. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around him, holding him to me. His arms came around my form, pulling me from the cushy bed to where he sat in a chair, cradling me in his lap.
I leaned in, resting my forehead to his. Our noses brushed.
“Not even the afterlife could keep me from you,” I whispered.
“Forgive me for not being so sure,” Ash murmured, brushing a lock of dark hair from my face.
I allowed that as I curled into him, my head falling to his shoulder. We stayed that way for a little while, watching the drapes drift in the breeze and listening to sounds of Shifters training once more.
“A long time has passed, hasn’t it?”
“Not as long as you might think,” Ask said. “It’s only been a week this time.”
That was less time than I’d thought, and I was grateful for it. Grateful for the time I still had. For the gift I’d been given.
“What happened?”
“I should be asking you that given I spent most of the battle struggling to maintain consciousness until you died.” He gripped me harder. Held me closer, as impossible as that was.
“Didn’t Johanna—”
“She did,” he said, his voice gruff. “But it didn’t change the fact that you were gone. Our bond snapped and I was lost to the world until I felt it reappear almost a day later. We were preparing your body for a burial when suddenly your wounds healed, and your heart started to beat again.” He let out a ragged breath. “I was scared at first you’d been turned.”
“And if I had?” I asked.
He lifted his head to look me in the eye. “I would have loved you anyways, even if my people couldn’t accept it. You’re it for me. I’d appreciate it if you stopped bartering your life for everyone else so I could have it.”
“Have it?” I repeated.
“You,” he breathed. “Your moments. Your time. Your stolen kisses.” His lips brushed over my cheek, and I shivered. “Your future. I want it all.”
I sighed in contentment and leaned into him, whispering back, “You will. In due time.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
“I’d expect nothing less.”
One of his hands skimmed over my bare thigh and down my leg to my calf, kneading the muscle. I hummed in delight, and he let out a growl. I placed a hand on his chest. “Tell me more. I want to know everything.”
He sighed, his fingers slipping from my calf.
“The battle raged for a while longer after you and Lily went down. She alone killed over a quarter of our forces. If you hadn’t gotten to her when you did, the estimates say it would have ended less than an hour later with everyone dead. But you did it, and afterwards Johanna used the time to get your sister out without being seen. Lily’s still being kept sedated while Lucas tries to implement the rest of your plan. I’m not sure I agree with it after what she’s become, but I don’t want to argue. I thought I lost you again, and I’m done with fighting.”
“And Victor?” I asked.
“Escaped. Turns out he’s a slippery one, even for a Born. The bastard was able to overpower both Alec and Oliver. There’s been no sightings of him since . . . but we think he might be trying to track Lily.”
I sighed. “That’s why you haven’t woken her, isn’t it?”
“Partially,” he said. “We’re also
not certain your plan will work. Lucas is a skilled telepath, but to wipe all her memories. To erase her entire past, that’s a challenge for any telepath, and if he doesn’t get everything . . . we can’t risk it.”
“He will,” I said with absolute certainty.
“How do you know?”
I smiled. “Because he owes me that much. Lucas would give his right arm if it could fix the things he’s done. He’s filled with self-loathing, and he needs something to focus on. That something will be Lily.”
“And when he’s done?” Ash asked.
“He never will be,” I answered. “The way his power works is like draping a blanket over memories. It’s not a full reset like a computer. With time she’ll start to pull back the corners. He’ll be there to smooth them back out.”
“It’s a good plan,” Ash nodded. “But I worry that you have too high of hopes. After everything she’s done, the world may not know her face, but thousands do. Every Vampire that exists will know. Every person that has met her and survived will know. If someone is able to find a picture of her and give that to the media . . . she’s toast. The battle in New York revealed magic to the world. There’s no going back from that.”
“Which is why”—I paused—“she’ll be hidden. Forever.”
“That’s a long time to hide someone,” Ash commented.
“It is, but we’ll figure it out. Now tell me, how is everyone?” I specifically didn’t give a name. Any name. The truth was I wasn’t sure who or what to ask about. I didn’t know if any of them lived. I didn’t know if any of them died.
Ash raised both eyebrows, partly amused and partly annoyed.
“My sister is fine. She grieved when you died. We haven’t told her you might be back, though she’s been asking about why we haven’t had a funeral at all. I didn’t want to get her hopes up in case you didn’t return this time.” I nodded, understanding that reasoning. “Johanna and Oliver are acting as ambassadors between the different factions. No one has stepped forward to create or lead a new Council yet, but it’s only a matter of time. The paranormal community has been revealed and the world is now asking questions. We have to find an answer.”
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