by Lori Wick
Bobbie thought her mother had to be the most clever seamstress in all the world. The dress bloused out at the waist, which gave hint to a fuller chest than there actually was. The sleeves were short and puffed and the neckline was high. The fullness at the waist also made Bobbie’s hips more attractive for a change and not just skinny.
“I take it you’re pleased.”
“Oh Daddy, didn’t she do a wonderful job?”
“She always does.”
“Do you think Jeff will like it?”
“How could he not?” Her father said with a smile, and Bobbie turned back to the mirror with her eyes shining.
‘How could he not?’ She repeated to herself. ‘How could he not?’
Jeff and his date were the last to arrive at the lagoon. Bobbie noticed the change in Jeff from the wagon ride over, where he had been fairly talkative, to when they joined the other young people and he had grown very quiet. She didn’t understand it or question him, though she wanted to.
“Hi, Jeff; hi, Bobbie.” Pastor Keller’s wife greeted them as they came toward the blankets spread with a picnic lunch. The day was beautiful, with a slight breeze, and there was plenty of shade under the huge willow trees.
Bobbie and Jeff ended up next to Angie and Deacon on the edge of the blanket. The girls immediately began to visit, and within seconds Deacon joined them. It didn’t immediately register with any of them that Jeff was playing with a blade of grass, not looking or talking to anyone.
He perked up a bit when they ate, but the fact that Richard and Sylvia were right across from him was almost more than he could take. He told himself not to look at Sylvia, but he did, again and again. Each time her eyes challenged him in a way that should have made him angry but instead just made him want to be with her all the more. Jeff also found it very satisfying that Richard himself noticed how often Sylvia looked across the blanket.
After lunch they played a few games. The Kellers had more planned but nearly everyone said they wanted to sit and talk. Couples sat together at a distance or small groups visited and laughed in the sun.
Jeff and Bobbie ended up back by the picnic lunch, where Bobbie watched Jeff watching Sylvia. She was more confused than hurt. If Jeff had wanted to ask Sylvia, why didn’t he? Bobbie didn’t believe that he had asked and been turned down, not with the way she had been looking back all afternoon.
“Would you rather we joined one of the other couples, Jeff?” Bobbie asked solicitously. Everyone else was in sight and Bobbie so much wanted to enjoy the day. But if Jeff kept this up it was going to be miserable.
“No, I like it here under the trees.” Jeff had finally looked at Bobbie when she spoke to him, and for the first time he caught a very vulnerable look on her face. He told himself he was being unfair to her, so he turned his whole body to face her, also making it impossible to see Richard and Sylvia.
“I like it under the trees too.”
“Is this a new dress?” Jeff was hoping it was, since he had never paid any attention to what Bobbie was wearing before. He wouldn’t have known if she had worn it once or a hundred times.
“Yes. My mother made it for me.”
“It’s nice.”
“Thanks. Do you want a carrot stick?” The basket was lying near and Bobbie offered it to Jeff after taking a stick for herself.
“No, thanks.” Jeff’s mind was wandering again. He wasn’t looking at Sylvia but he wasn’t talking to Bobbie either.
“I’m glad Troy isn’t here.”
“Why’s that?” Jeff asked, thinking he really didn’t care.
“He always puts carrot sticks up his nose.”
“Well, kids will do that,” Jeff answered noncommittally without even looking at Bobbie.
“Of course it isn’t any wonder. My mother does it all the time.”
Jeff looked sharply at the small girl beside him to see she was barely containing her laughter. His mouth dropped open when she spoke next because her voice was dripping with sarcasm.
“Very good, Jeffrey. You were actually listening.” Bobbie grinned at him and Jeff found himself laughing hard.
“You,” he said as he shook a finger at Bobbie, “are incredibly sassy.”
“So I’ve been told,” Bobbie admitted without apology. “But at least I don’t put carrots in my nose.”
“You know,” Jeff said thoughtfully, feeling fully relaxed for the first time, “it might be kind of fun.” He raised a carrot stick toward his face and Bobbie laughingly snatched it away from him.
“You have very nice teeth, did you know that?” Jeff asked Bobbie suddenly, and she looked surprised and then very serious.
“Is it really so important, Jeff, to be with someone good-looking? I mean, do good looks mean that much to you that you need to find something about me that’s attractive?” Bobbie could see that she had shocked him, but she kept her eyes on his and could tell he was thinking.
“I think you’re right. I do put too much stock on good looks. If I hurt you just then, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, don’t apologize Jeff, or feel bad.” Bobbie’s voice grew dry, but her eyes were sparkling. “You’re just a teenage boy and they usually don’t know any better.”
Jeff looked shocked again, and then let his head fall back against the tree and laughed—a deep-down laugh that came from the pit of his stomach and nearly made it ache.
They talked undisturbed for the next half-hour. Jeff couldn’t believe what a good time he was having. Roberta Bradford was a lot of fun. He had even managed to forget Sylvia, until he looked up to see her and Richard headed their way.
“My, but there’s a lot of laughter going on over here.” Sylvia’s mouth was smiling but her eyes weren’t.
“Yeah, Jeff, how’s the long straw?”
Jeff leveled Richard with a look that was almost dangerous. The other boy knew he had overstepped his bounds and immediately shut his mouth. Sylvia wasn’t so tactful.
“Oh, come now, Jeff. Don’t get so mad. I’m sure Bobbie understands that you wouldn’t have brought her if you’d had a choice.”
Once again Jeff’s furious eyes were directed at Richard, now knowing that he had told Sylvia what they had done in the barn. Jeff then looked to the young woman with whom he believed himself to be in love. She had never had Jeff angry with her before, and it was almost frightening. When Richard pulled on her hand she left the other couple willingly. No one noticed that Bobbie’s face had lost all color.
“What did Richard mean, Jeff?” Bobbie asked softly.
“It’s nothing, Bobbie. Forget it.”
“That’s not true, Jeff, or you’d be looking me in the eye.”
Jeff didn’t answer, and Bobbie heard Richard’s words again in her mind: “The long straw.”
“You drew straws to see who would ask me, didn’t you, Jeff?” Two other couples were close now, and when Jeff still wouldn’t look at her, Bobbie’s eyes traveled to the others.
‘They all know,’ she realized in an instant as their eyes regarded her with embarrassment and pity.
“I’m not feeling very well, Jeff. I’d really like it if you’d take me home.”
“We haven’t gone boating yet,” Jeff said almost desperately, seeing how quickly the afternoon was about to be ruined. “See, all the boats are stacked over there waiting. All the families will be arriving in about a half-hour.”
“You’re welcome to come back and go boating, Jeff, but the truth is, I’m not feeling so well. I want to go home.”
When Jeff made no move to comply, Bobbie turned and walked away from him. It took a moment before he could see she was going to walk home. He ran and stopped her with a hand on her arm.
“Bobbie, do you really want to leave?”
“Did you really draw straws or am I jumping to conclusions?”
“We drew straws.” The words were fraught with shame.
“For all the girls or just me?”
Jeff swallowed convulsively. “Just you.”
&
nbsp; “Please take me home.”
Jeff nodded. “Wait here while I hitch the horses.”
Bobbie stood stock-still as Jeff went to get the wagon and to tell Pastor they were leaving. She didn’t even acknowledge Angie when she called to her. She climbed into the wagon as soon as Jeff stopped beside her, even before he could help her.
On the ride home the silence became oppressive. Jeff didn’t know what to say. Sorry wasn’t enough. He found himself begging God to turn back the hands of time and let him live the last three weeks over; he promised he would do better.
There was no one home at the Bradfords. Bobbie told Jeff goodbye and went inside. Jeff sat in the wagon for a time, not sure whether to head home or to the lagoon. He finally opted for home. He knew he was going to be in more trouble than he had ever been in his life. But even if he was waiting to kill him, Jeff Taylor had to see his father.
five
“Jeff, how could you?” The question came from his mother and her faced mirrored the torment within. “Maryanne Bradford bought dress material with money she didn’t have to make this day special! I don’t even know why I said that, Jeff; no one should receive the treatment that you gave Bobbie!”
Jeff didn’t respond. He stood by the fireplace and let his mother’s angry voice rain down on him.
It hadn’t taken very long for the story to circulate among the group at the lagoon, which didn’t say much for the congregation’s ability to refrain from gossip. Understandably, neither the Taylors nor the Bradfords stayed for the boating.
Jeff had not waited long for his family to arrive back at the house. Gilbert and Nathan had discreetly disappeared and Jeff faced his parents alone. Bill said nothing as May berated her son.
“Your actions of the past weeks make perfect sense now—your waiting until the last minute to ask Bobbie and then doing so as though you were going to your own hanging.” May continued to point out Jeff’s faults, ending with the fact that he had deceived everyone, not just Bobbie. A moment later a look of silent communication passed between husband and wife and May exited the room.
“Sit down, Jeff,” Bill said, once his wife was gone. Jeff sat on the sofa but could not get comfortable. He shifted several times even as his father pulled the rocker close in front of him.
“I want you to tell me everything.”
Jeff did just that, beginning with the boys’ conversation in the yard and the drawing of straws in the barn, to the moment he dropped Bobbie at her house and came directly home himself.
“You mean to tell me that Richard and Sylvia came right up to you and Bobbie and called her the ‘long straw’?” Bill’s voice reflected his amazement.
Jeff’s eyes filled with tears and his shoulders began to shake. “You should have seen her face, Dad; she was crushed. And it’s all my fault. I wanted to have Sylvia all to myself and I was willing to do anything—” Jeff’s voice broke and he began to sob in earnest.
Bill joined him on the couch, and with his arm around his errant son, he listened as Jeff shared everything he was feeling and cried himself into near-exhaustion.
They talked for the better part of two hours and then prayed together. Jeff confessed his selfish, deceitful actions and then listened in surprise as Bill confessed his lack of attention to his oldest biological son. Bill went on to pray for wisdom for Jeff when he apologized to Bobbie and her family as well as wisdom for himself when he went to see Richard and then Sylvia. Father and son were more than a little drained at the end of the prayer.
“Do you think I should go tonight?”
“No, son, I think you need to get some rest. You can see Bobbie in the morning.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“I love you, Jeff.” The men embraced and then Jeff took himself off to bed. He was up early, but not being sure when the Bradfords would be up and about, he waited until 8:30 to go over. When he arrived, a sober Mr. Bradford informed him that Bobbie had left on the morning stage. She planned to visit her aunt and uncle for the remainder of the summer.
six
Jenner, California
January 2, 1872
“Have you got everything?”
“Yes, Aunt Joanne, I’ve got everything.” Roberta Bradford uttered the words indulgently; it was the fifth time she had been asked.
“Oh honey,” the older woman cried softly, and hugged Bobbie to herself. “What are we going to do without you?”
“You’ll be fine.”
“Is it wrong for me to pray that Cleve convinces you?”
Bobbie opened her mouth to say something but closed it again; she wasn’t sure she wanted to touch that one. Thankful that Cleveland Ramsey had not come to see her off, Bobbie turned away from her aunt to face her Uncle Jasper. He was a replica of her father both in looks and personality, a quiet rock of support. But today he had tears in his eyes. Seeing them, Bobbie’s own tears came very close to the surface.
“What can I say?” Bobbie said softly. Her uncle shook his head and enfolded her in his arms.
The stage pulled in a few minutes later and Bobbie’s bags were thrown into the back. She gave her beloved aunt and uncle one last hug and this time the tears could not be stemmed. She waved from the stage window, her eyes still streaming as the stage pulled away.
Bobbie was thankful she had the interior to herself. She allowed herself a good cry and then let her head fall back against the seat, her thoughts drifting to the past and then jumping to the future in rapid succession.
Five years. She had actually been away from home for over five years. It didn’t feel that long, not while it was passing, and not even now that it was over.
There had been talk over those years of her returning to Santa Rosa, but the plans were always delayed. At one point when she had been away three years, her parents had decided it was time she come home, but Uncle Jasper had fallen ill, making her presence at the shipping office crucial. No matter how many times she asked herself how the years had slipped by, no answer came. She really loved living in Jenner and she had been so young when she left Santa Rosa—a little girl in so many ways.
But she wasn’t a little girl now. She was a woman, headed back to take a job at the Taylors’ office—a job she could walk into with confidence because of her experience. Bobbie knew her aunt and uncle’s shipping office was nowhere near as busy as the Taylors’ in Santa Rosa, but she knew the routine, how to handle packages and treat the customers as well.
And she would be working with the Taylors. Mr. Taylor had given a full explanation as to why they needed her. Business had picked up to the point that May needed a rest. Bobbie was to take her place and her fellow employees would be Jeff, Gilbert, and sometimes Nate.
Jeff. A myriad of emotions flooded through Bobbie at the thought of Jeffrey Taylor, but none were anger or bitterness. They’d had no contact over the years except one note; Bobbie still had it. She had received it in the fall after that awful summer when he had obviously understood that she was not coming back for the next school year. It had been very brief, four short words, but they had meant the world to her: “I’m sorry, Bobbie, Jeff.”
She hadn’t replied and it hadn’t changed the hurt, but it helped to know that he regretted the way he had treated her. At the time she received it, she hoped he was suffering too. But the next summer all of that changed when, for the first time, Bobbie truly listened to the man who was preaching at the front of the church she was in and Bobbie understood that she was a sinner.
When she was very young the man in the pulpit had never taught anything but God’s love. And then the Bradford family started attending Pastor Keller’s church and he had the courage to tell people that they must be born again, that without the saving blood of Jesus Christ they would not live forever with God. But Bobbie hadn’t believed Pastor Keller.
She agreed with her first pastor, a man whose name she couldn’t even remember, that God was a God of love. She didn’t believe He would ever send anyone good to hell. And then it became very cle
ar to Bobbie as she studied the Bible that God didn’t send anyone to hell. It was man’s choice, her choice—Roberta Bradford’s—as to where she spent her eternity.
With Bobbie’s belief in Jesus Christ came a new outlook on everything, especially the way she had been treated at the lagoon. The weight of bitterness was lifted from Bobbie as she studied the Word of God with her aunt and uncle. As she did, she learned that there was no room for unforgiveness in the heart of a Christian who desired to serve God with her whole heart.
Bobbie’s drifting thoughts were interrupted again and again as the stage stopped and other passengers boarded or disembarked. It was well into the evening when a very tired young woman finally arrived in Santa Rosa. It felt wonderful to stretch her legs. As Bobbie set out on the walk home, she was also thankful that the skies were clear. Her fatigue fell away as she passed well-known sights—the post office, Riggs Mercantile, the barber shop—each one familiar and beloved even in the rapidly descending darkness.
Spotting her house, Bobbie began to run. Her parents were not expecting her for two more days, but they wouldn’t be sorry to see her now. Bobbie stopped just short of throwing open the door. Drawing in a deep breath, she put her bags down. She rapped hard and stood still, telling herself to breathe as she waited.
Maryanne, never dreaming her daughter would arrive early, wished she had brought a lantern with her to the door so she could see who was on her front step.
“Who is it, Mary?” Jake called from somewhere in the living room.
“Tell him it’s Bobbie,” Bobbie said softly before her mother could make a sound, and then Bobbie watched her mother dissolve into tears. She didn’t move to touch her daughter or try to speak to her; she couldn’t. She cried uncontrollably in a way that she hadn’t for over five years.
Jake came on the scene to find his daughter’s arms around his wife, attempting to comfort her and stop her tears. Jake added his own tears as his arms went around both of his girls, and the three of them stood still, no one noticing the cold air coming in from the open door.