by Terry Toler
Pieces of the car were strewn along the road. I didn’t see either of the Iranians thrown from the wreckage, but I looked around just in case, even checking the bushes and ditch that ran alongside the road. Satisfied we were safe, and the Iranians were in their watery tomb, I was suddenly overcome with elation bordering on euphoria, and I let myself celebrate.
Bae ran toward me with a worried look still on her face.
I raised my hand high in the air and gave her a big reassuring smile to let her know everything was okay.
“Give me a high five!” I said lowering it down so she could reach it.
Bae looked at me with a puzzled frown as both sides of her mouth dipped.
I took her hand and raised her arm high in the air. And then slapped it against mine. She caught on and we did it several times.
“Why is it called a high-five?” she asked.
I waved my fingers in the air. “Because we have five fingers. In America we hit our hands together when something good happens.”
“Here’s what we do,” Bae said, taking my arms and interlocking hers with mine. She started prancing around in a circle. We were like children playing on a playground. I could feel the tension leaving our arms.
It felt good to just let go and act like a kid for at least a moment. The thought occurred to me that one of us was still a child. Then I looked at Bae and realized that she was no longer a child. Never would be again, considering everything she’d been through. She was growing up fast. The innocence of childhood was gone forever. Bae had seen things most teenagers would never see.
We danced and laughed until we were out of breath. Then I saw it come over her face as the emotion of the moment was too much, and Bae began sobbing. I took her in my arms and squeezed her tightly.
“It’s okay,” I said. “Everything’s going to be okay. Those men will never hurt you again.”
She kept sobbing. Uncontrollably. I didn’t try to stop her.
“Those men killed my parents,” Bae finally said, trying to choke back the tears.
She then began explaining the whole story. We sat on a rock near the cliffs as she related the events of the last few days. Stealing the satchel. The man chased her into the mountains.
“How did you kill the Iranian?” I asked, fascinated by the entire tale.
“He was chasing me, and he fell. The gun was in his hand and went off. I guess he shot himself.”
Divine providence. God was working things together for good before we even met.
Bae then described how the two men came to their house. One of them shot her mom in the head. She didn’t see her dad killed but heard the shot and saw him fall to the ground.
“How did you get away?” I asked.
“The Iranians chased me on my dad’s motorcycle. I ran a red light and a policeman stopped me and arrested me.”
“Probably a good thing. The Iranians would have eventually caught you and killed you.”
“If you hadn’t come along . . .” Bae said, not able to even finish the sentence.
“I did come along. God brought us together for a reason.” I knew most people in North Korea were atheist. The Yang family portrayed themselves as the only deity to be worshiped. Maybe I’d get a chance to tell her more about God and Jesus. Now didn’t seem like the right time. I couldn’t imagine the grief she must be going through.
“What was in the satchel that the Iranians wanted so badly?” Bae asked me.
I hesitated, not sure how much to tell her. Then I decided that she deserved to know. She had risked her life to protect the satchel. Then I decided she didn’t need to know. The less she knew, the less chance her life would be in danger.
“I don’t know,” I finally answered, feeling like a real jerk for lying to her.
I changed the subject.
“Do you have any other family?” I asked. “Is there somewhere I can take you?”
Bae shook her head. “I have relatives, but I don’t really know them very well. I wouldn’t even know how to contact them.”
Bae was all alone in the world which created a dilemma for me. The Iranians weren’t the only threat facing me. I still had Pok and the cyber lab to deal with. I also had to get the codes in the satchel back to Langley. How could I do that and still take care of her?
I decided to avoid the subject for now. I stood and started picking up pieces of what looked like a plane crash debris field. I didn’t want any evidence on the road that might cause people to investigate further. Bae helped. When we were done to my satisfaction, I changed the flat tire, and we got back on the road.
I also decided not to bring up the subject again. I needed time to think about what to do with Bae and how to get the codes from her without her knowing about it.
23
Bae recovered quickly from the emotional breakdown. That was a characteristic of a good spy, Curly always said. Get back to the mission as soon as possible. Don’t dwell too long on your successes or failures.
In my line of work, I saw a lot of death and destruction. Those things had to be put out of my mind fast. The Agency required us to see a counselor periodically. She warned that such emotional disconnection from reality was detrimental in the long run. Truthfully, I had no emotional connection to the death of the Iranians. My two cents worth was that the world was better off without them.
I wondered what the counselor would say about Bae. A thirteen-year-old should never be expected to get over things that quickly. For that matter, a young girl should not have to go through what she just went through. She should be thinking about boys and homework like all the other girls her age.
Still, Bae was in a good mood, which I was grateful for because it was helping mine.
We were on the road again, headed south. It had been at least twenty miles since I saw any sign of civilization. Overall, I was feeling better about the mission. I had a weapon. The two Iranians were dead, and I didn’t have to fire a shot.
I had transportation, although it was a police cruiser which was good and bad. People in North Korea tended to avoid any contact with policemen including eye contact. The bad part of it was that an American man driving a North Korean police car would raise suspicion to anyone who had reason to look our way. The only saving grace was that the windows were darkened, and no one could see inside unless they were coming toward us and were looking through the windshield. That would only be a problem tomorrow during the day.
The biggest problem tonight was that we were both hungry and exhausted. We needed time to re-energize. The obvious place to go was Bae’s house. There we could get a shower, a meal, and a good night’s sleep. I quickly rejected that idea. No way could I put Bae through the trauma of seeing the body of her dead parents all over again.
Neither of us would get much sleep there anyway. The possibility was real that there were more Iranians out there. If there were, that was the first place they’d look. I didn’t voice that concern to Bae, but I did say that we needed to go “dark” for several hours.
“What does it mean to go dark?” she asked.
“It’s a spy term. It means that we make ourselves unavailable. Hard to find. You can also say ‘off the grid.’” The term was also a military term which meant to cease all communications. It was used on the battlefield when they didn’t want the enemy to know their location or intercept their communications. I tended to go dark a lot on a mission. I preferred to work alone and with little supervision. Technically, I went dark the minute I decided to go off the reservation and come to North Korea.
“We need to find some food and a place to stay,” I said. “The problem is that I don’t have any won.” Won was the official North Korean currency. “In America, there’s a gas station and hotel at every exit,” I said.
We hadn’t seen anything but shanties and old broken-down homes since we left Wonsan. The poverty out in the rural areas of North Korea was staggering.
“One of the bigger villages will have a store,” Bae said confidently.
“That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have any money,” I countered.
“We could rob the store,” Bae said.
“We only steal from bad guys,” I retorted, raising my voice. “That’s the first rule of being a spy. You don’t hurt people.”
“Tell that to the Iranians,” Bae said, chuckling.
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “You know what I mean. We only hurt the bad people.”
Bae’s shoulders sagged, and she slumped down in the seat a little, probably feeling guilty or even some shame. She stole backpacks from innocents all the time. That’s what got her in this mess, although, ironically, the person she stole the satchel from turned out to be a really bad guy.
I suddenly felt the guilt as well. What I said to her wasn’t completely true. I had stolen from good guys before. If it was a life and death situation, I did whatever I had to do to survive. There had been many times when I’d stolen a car, or some food and water from an innocent if necessary, to complete the mission. Rarely, and only when there was no other option, but I didn’t have the right to act like Bae’s moral superior.
And I felt another twinge of guilt when I remembered that I had lied to her about not knowing what was in the satchel. This was the second time I hadn’t told her the whole truth. In my profession, I did it all the time. For some reason, it bothered me that I was lying to Bae.
Before I could explain further, she held up an object in the air that was difficult to see inside the dark car.
“We have this,” she said, waving it in the air.
“What’s that?” I asked.
Bae opened it and started rummaging through it. I turned on the center console light to see what she was doing. I checked first to make sure no other cars were around. The last thing we needed was to be spotted on the road because I had the center light on.
In her hand was a wallet.
“Where did you get that?” I asked.
“I took it from the policeman. The one back at the station.”
I remembered Bae going back into the cell while I was in the office securing a weapon. I looked in just in time to see her give the man a swift kick in the ribs, and then wince from the pain in her foot. It made me smile because the man deserved it. Apparently, she also went back there to get his wallet. That was good thinking. The policeman might have a few day’s bribes in there.
“Have you been holding out on me?” I asked jokingly, while giving her a poke in the side with my finger.
She shrank away and let out a giggle. “There’s more than 45,000 won in here,” Bae said holding the currency in the air. That was equivalent to fifty US dollars, which didn’t sound like a lot, but in North Korea, that was three to six months of wages for the average person. He had more than a few day’s bribes. That might be a month’s worth.
“That’s enough money for something to eat and a place to stay,” Bae said.
A few miles down the road around a large and windy curve a town appeared. Not a town really, in that the sum of it was all in a one block area. Right in the center of that block was a convenience store. From the looks of it, the store might be the nicest building in the entire village. We pulled into the store but parked in a space where the vehicle wasn’t in plain view from inside. Bae would have to be the one to go in. I’d wait outside with my gun in case she ran into any trouble.
“Go inside and get us some food and something to drink,” I said. “Also ask if there’s a place to stay nearby. A motel or something.”
Bae was gone for a long time. After about ten minutes, I wondered if she’d slipped out a back exit to get away from me. In some ways, I wished she would. That would make things easier. But she was growing on me. I liked having her around and felt this parenting urge inside of me to protect her. Maybe more like a big brother impulse.
I’d had this feeling before. Curly tried to describe it to us, although he said you had to experience it to know what he was talking about. When you’re on a mission with another person, and you get shot at, and come within an inch of losing your life, a bond develops between you and your partner. It was an indescribable bond that wasn’t easily broken. I felt that with Bae. Like she was my partner in this particular mission. It was like God brought us together for a reason.
Maybe I was her mentor. She was my ingenue. Where did that word come from? I heard it recently. My mind struggled for the definition. I remembered. It meant a young, naïve girl. An innocent who needed someone to take her under their wing and nurture and teach her the things of the world. I was kind of enjoying teaching Bae some things about being a spy.
Whatever the feeling was, when she came out with two large bags of groceries I let out a sigh of relief. Clearly, I wasn’t ready for our relationship to end.
She had a huge grin on her face. Bae got inside the car and slammed the door shut. “I got you a present,” she said.
“Do you have to make so much racket? We’re trying not to get noticed,” I said.
I could see her crinkle her nose at me. It didn’t dampen her excitement about my present. She pulled a shirt out of the bag and held it up for me to look at. “This was the biggest size they had. I hope it fits.”
My heart warmed, and I could feel the emotion rise inside of me. The shirt was navy blue, with a collar. Not something I would normally wear, but it was the thought that counted. It had the North Korean emblem on it, which was a circle with a star in the center. I laughed to myself. That would be a good shirt to wear to CIA headquarters one day as a joke. At least it didn’t have Min Yang’s picture on it. Most tee shirts I’d seen in North Korea had the Divine Leader’s name or image on it. If I wore one of those to CIA headquarters I might get shot.
“I love it,” I said. “I’ll think of you every time I wear it.” I meant every word I said. I would cherish the gift forever. “Did you get some food?”
“Oh . . . I forgot!” she said sarcastically. “Of course, I got some food. And something to drink.”
Bae started rifling through the first bag.
“I got some Korean sweet cakes,” she said as she pulled out a package, opened it, and handed one to me.
I put it in my mouth.
“Give me another one,” I said.
I scarfed two down, barely swallowing. They tasted like donuts. At that moment, I couldn’t imagine anything tasting better.
“I got some ginger-flavored crackers and cheese.” Her head was buried in the sack, going through each item like she had an order in which she wanted to present them to me. “Oh! I got another kind of cracker. Laver flavored.” Bae could hardly contain her excitement.
“What is laver?” I asked. “That doesn’t sound like something I would like,” I said while I licked my fingers from the sweet cakes.
“It’s made from seaweed,” she answered.
I made a face and said, “Eww. I’ve never had seaweed before.”
“Then how do you know you won’t like it? You’re going to try it,” Bae said as she went back to her rummaging.
I made a funny sound of disgust.
“Don’t be such a baby,” she said, suddenly becoming the parent in the relationship. “It’s good. It tastes sweet. The other crackers are salty.”
“Okay, I’ll try it. If you insist.”
I had eaten worse things on a mission. There were times when I ate whatever I could get my hands on and was glad to have it. There had been a few times on this mission when I’d been starving.
“I got some Azuke Bean Rice Balls,” Bae said in a heavy accent. For the most part I could understand her when she spoke. I asked her to spell out the word.
Instead of spelling it, she just showed me the package. They looked like cheese puffs.
“I also got some Pumpkin baked Monaca Biscuits. And some sweet Red Bean Jelly Bars. I got a dozen of those. Although, you look like you could eat all of them at once.”
Now I knew why it took her so long in the store.
“Did you buy one of ever
ything in the store?”
Bae laughed. I loved her laugh. It wasn’t deep throated at all. Higher pitched, and it came in short bursts. Like a piccolo.
“Any protein in any of that?” I asked. “Seems like you mostly got sweets.”
“I got some protein,” Bae said dismissively. She started going through the second bag. “Here’s some sliced meat. It’s dog meat.”
“I’m not eating dog meat!”
“You eat hot dogs!”
“That’s not the same thing! Those are not made from dogs. They’re made from cows or pigs.”
“What’s the difference between eating a pig or a dog?” Bae asked.
“I’m not eating dog!” The thought of eating a dog made me gag.
“I’m just kidding. It’s ham.” Bae roared with laughter.
I joined her.
“What else do you have?” I asked.
“I got two watermelon ice cream bars.”
“Let’s eat those first!”
“I’m not allowed to eat dessert first.”
“Just this one time. Those will melt if we don’t eat them fast.”
I started the car, pulled out of the store lot, and drove away. Still south. Toward the cyber lab. With no plan.
“I got this to drink,” she said. “Omija Berry Tea.”
She bought a twelve pack of them. I downed one in seconds. The cool liquid soothed my parched throat and made me forget about the cyber lab and Pok for at least the time being.
“By the way,” Bae said. “The store clerk said there’s a place to stay just ahead on the right.”
We found the place and pulled into the parking lot. We sat in the car and finished eating until we were both full.
It was the best meal I’d had in a long time. The best part was it only cost four American dollars and was paid for by the policeman who was probably waking up from his concussion about that the same time.