by Fiona Jayde
But I cannot do that if I know she will leave. I cannot fuck her without it meaning anything. I feel emotional; confused. My arousal at this point is an animal all its own, screaming for its own interests, even when they are at war with my heart.
I watch her beautiful skin move as she steps gracefully into those old clothes, and I consider what that Chassak filth nearly did to her, almost violating her body. I think of other males in her past. Other human males who had a taste of her, and I’m immediately reminded of her restless sleep.
“Who is Carl?” I say, noticing my voice has grown deeper and huskier.
She jolts as if I’ve struck her in the chest. She is in the middle of pulling on her thin shirt, and one of her arms hangs out of the sleeve for a moment, shocked by the question. Then she seems to shake herself and continues to dress.
“How do you know that name?” She’s not looking at me.
“You called out for him during your feverish state. You thought I was him. You kissed me when you thought I was him.” That last part comes out with a growl. I take a deep breath, needing to calm myself. Jealousy coupled with The Burning is its own nightmare. I don’t wish to lose control and take my Ada as rough as I need, not for our first time together.
She looks a little pale and maybe even a little sick. I watch her battle with her own thoughts, her tongue darting out and wetting her lips. “Carl was my first.”
“Your first what?”
She swallows hard, her eyes going dead, staring at me but not really seeing me. “The first person I ever slept with.”
I feel a surge of jealousy take over. I knew this Carl was a challenger, someone I would have to fight, even if it was just the memory of him. The idea of her body under someone else, her voice calling out in ecstasy as someone else penetrates her, makes me clench my fists to ward off my rage. And does she still love him?
“Carl was not with you on your ship.”
“No. He and I ended things. We broke up.”
“Broke up?”
“Yes. He…” she sighs and sits down on a rock. “He stopped loving me. I guess that’s the best way to put it.”
I pause for a moment. I do not understand what she is saying. I cross around the hot spring, and I sit down next to her. I take her hand now that her apparent anger has subsided. I am not sure what to do. I did not realize I was opening up old wounds. “I am sorry I brought him up,” I say. It feels like I’m not saying enough.
“It’s fine. He just screwed me over, is all. I didn’t have a lot of people who cared about me growing up. My dad was dead, my mom drank all the time, and when I met Carl, I thought I had met someone who could really love me, you know?”
I nod, though I do not understand. “Do you mean you thought he was your mate, but he was not? Were you not bonded?”
She smiles at me. “Not exactly. He said he was my mate. He was my world for a long time. But after a while, I guess he stopped loving me. He started sleeping with other women…females, telling me it was my fault because I was so closed off. Eventually, he left. After that, I figured I wasn’t an easy person to love. Jeez, that sounds depressing.” She gives me a wobbly smile. “Sorry, that was a lot of talking. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.”
“I do not feel sorry for you,” I say. “But I am confused. What happened, exactly? He was your mate, but he slept with other females and eventually left you? Did he go to war? Did he disappear?”
“Ha, no, he just left me. I came home one day, and he was gone. I called him, texted him, and reached out to his friends to try to find him. At first, I thought something had happened, you know? ‘Cause who just leaves like that, without any warning, no note, no anything? Finally, he came by to get some books he’d left behind. It turns out he’d run off with someone else. We’d been together for five years, and he was done with me without any warning.”
We sit in silence for a moment. I am trying to wrap my head around what Ada is telling me. She loved someone, and he said he loved her back. They were clearly bonded. Or as close as human couples can get to bonded, but then he stopped loving her. This is unthinkable. An Elysium is completely devoted to his mate for the rest of his life. If a person she loved so deeply could do something like this to her, then no wonder she cannot trust my offer to bond with her.
Ada deserves loyalty. She deserves to be treated well by someone who cares about her.
And it’s time to show her that is exactly what I intend to do.
※※※※
Ada
I can’t believe we’re talking about Carl, of all things. Not exactly the conversation I want to have with anyone, but with Kyllell it feels normal. It also brings those feelings of betrayal, distrust, and abandonment front and center. I’ve never talked about this with anyone, so doing it now is like ripping the scabs off a grisly wound that was never given a chance to heal.
Unpleasant.
I know it’s a big part of why I can’t let Kyllell any closer. It’s why I can’t even consider the “mate” thing. The biggest objection I should have to a possible relationship with him should have more to do with, oh, I don’t know, different species, different planets, the fact that he could never live with me on Earth since he’d be attacked and thrown in a lab where scientists in white hospital coats would do weird and freaky things to him.
And I can’t stay here.
Yeah, those really should be the main stumbling blocks for me, and yet I find the real stumbling block has nothing to do with our species or planets, but everything to do with the fear of Kyllell being disillusioned and suddenly realizing I’m really not worth all this trouble. He wants me as a bond mate due to biological urges his species present when they find someone compatible. This, to me, does not sound like a sturdy foundation for a committed relationship.
Hey, my horns turned black, and now I want to jump your bones. Must be love.
That’s not the kind of guarantee I’m looking for. I need someone who is in it for the long haul.
What am I thinking? This shouldn’t even be a blip on my radar.
I open my mouth to tell him exactly that, but then I close it again. What’s the point of explaining? It won’t help anything. I need to leave, and that’s the end of it. Telling him that in a different life, under different circumstances, we could be “mates” seems more cruel than kind.
“Thank you for all your help,” I say, patting his hand. “I’m sorry I got angry. I’m just scared, I guess.”
He smiles and pulls my hands into his, retracting his enormous claws to avoid scratching me. I look at my small hands cradled in his large, scaly ones and think about how easy it would be to give in, to make a life here in this cave with this gorgeous, sweet alien. We could really build something here. We could explore this magical, beautiful planet, maybe even have little light-green babies. I could be his world since there aren’t any other females here to measure up to.
Sadly, I pull my hands away.
“And who is Bert? Did he hurt you as well?”
I look at him in surprise. “Just how much talking did I do the other night?”
His lips twitch in amusement. “Enough for me to know I have many rivals.”
I chuckle. “Bert is not a rival.” Sadness punches me in the gut as I think about my failure to save him.
“Bert was like a brother to me. He was part of my crew, but he died in an accident right before we were transported to this planet.”
Kyllell wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close, allowing me to rest my head against his chest. It feels so good to sit just like this, but I know I shouldn’t get used to it.
“You blame yourself for his death, but I know you, Ada. You would have saved him given the chance.”
“You’ve got a lot of unwarranted faith in me.”
“It isn’t unwarranted. I know my mate.”
His mate. It sounds so sweet coming from his lips. All the more reason to put a stop to this before my heart becomes too invested.
&
nbsp; “I have to go,” I say, standing up and walking toward the cave’s exit, but he stops me with two words.
“I accept,” he says.
I stop, and turn to look back at him. “You accept what?”
“I accept your offer, but not the sex part. You will give that to me once you wish to be my mate. Until then, I will convince you to remain with me. I will convince you of my sincerity—that I will never abandon you like Carl did. We will go find your crew, but we will need a way off this planet first.”
I’m reeling now, trying to process this new information while ignoring the warmth I feel at his insistence that I only sleep with him once I decide to commit to him. He won’t abandon me like Carl did. I’m close to tears at this point, too afraid to buy into this just yet, but I suck it up and hold my breath a moment before asking him what I feel is the most pressing question.
“You think there’s a way to get off this planet?”
He nods. “I never intended to stay here forever, but when the Chassaks arrived with their dark market and their trading post, I realized they could be my salvation so long as they never knew I was here.”
Interesting. My sexy alien had been planning something all along.
“So how do Chassaks get you off this planet?”
“Chassaks trade in anything you can imagine, including stealth space ships. They are extremely expensive, which is why I have been slowly harvesting a rare gem from a sea creature called a chuktah. I nearly have enough of these gems with which to trade for a space ship. We can’t go rescue your crew unless we have our escape route in place, and our escape will be with one of these ships.”
“I thought you didn’t want the Chassaks to know you were here. How can you buy a ship from one without being attacked?”
“Currency, as we say on Elysius, can turn foe into friend. Temporarily, anyway.” He gives me a wry grin, his incisors peeking out behind those amazing lips of his. “I’ve also made an unlikely ally. He will help us in our endeavor. We will need to pack supplies now to harvest the last bit of chuktah shells we need before purchasing our space ship and finding your crew.”
I nod, looking around the room. “Are we not coming back after we retrieve these gems?”
He shakes his head, stepping forward until his hands gently grip my shoulders. I swallow hard as he looks at me with a fierce, protective glint in his eyes.
“If the Chassaks found this place once, they will find it again. They will be able to scent you again.” He lets out an angry growl and tilts my chin up, leaning forward to rest his forehead on mine. It feels far better than I want it to. “We will have to do something to cover up your scent, but I think it safe to say that this cave is no longer a place of refuge. We must pack all we need and prepare ourselves for what lies ahead.”
I’m relieved. I had been so worried, thinking I’d have to find a way to do this alone, thinking he was stalling me, when in reality, he was still protecting me. I’m not sure I deserve that kind of devotion. I hesitantly put my arms around his neck, reach up to my tip-toes, and kiss his cheek. “Thank you. I can’t say it enough. I didn’t want to be all alone in this.”
“You need never feel alone again, my Ada.”
And for once in my life, I actually believe that’s possible.
You can hold your breath underwater for how long?” my sweet mate asks.
I look at her in surprise as I steer our vessel toward the last place I hunted chuktah shells. I had wanted to scout out an entirely different area since the adult chuktah of this particular grouping has already had her pod ravaged once. She will be ready and waiting for another raid.
The Chassaks have forced my hand. There is no waiting for the next three rotations, and as my mate has repeatedly insisted, her crew does not have much time.
If any.
I don’t tell my mate this, but I do not believe her female friend is still a prisoner on this planet. Her companion was appealing to look at and was most likely sold immediately, but Ada must do this for her crew, and I must do this for the well-being of my Ada.
“I can remain underwater without surfacing for at least fifteen minutes.”
She shakes her head. “That’s incredible. I’m a fairly good swimmer, even did some snorkeling and scuba diving back on my planet, but no human can hold their breath underwater for fifteen minutes.”
I’m not sure what this scuba diving or snorkeling is, but I love the lilting sound her voice makes when she says them. There’s a wistfulness there that makes me wonder if she would ever be willing to give up her life on her planet for me?
Am I even worthy of such an honor or such a monumental sacrifice? I do not like to think about these things simply because I suspect I am not. I place my hand at the curve of her lower back. She leans into me ever so slightly, though I suspect she doesn’t realize she does it. “I think Elysium lung capacity is different than a human’s.”
“No kidding,” she murmurs. “There are quite a few things about Elysiums that are enhanced.”
I see a faint blush rise to her cheeks and my own blood heats. She is thinking of our shared intimacy. It may have been brief, but it was glorious.
We are silent for a few more minutes as I steer us closer to a large cove where a deeper pool of ocean water exists within. Chuktah pods are more easily tethered to the sea floor in waters with zero current. This particular pool of water is deeper than most, which is better for the chuktah and far more difficult and dangerous for me. I inch us closer to the base of rocks jutting near the cove and tether our boat to them. Just beyond the rocks on the other side of the cove is a beautiful beach. This land is wonderful even if it is treacherous.
“You will wait here for me, my Ada.”
She worries her bottom lip between her teeth, setting my blood to boiling. What this female does to me.
“Isn’t there some way I can help you?”
“No,” I say with some added force. My female is fierce, but she must understand that she is also fragile. This world and its predators are different to hers. “You must not enter the water for any reason. Once I disrupt the pod, the adult will burrow out from below the sandy bed and begin to defend her shells. She will swim with relentless speed, and her shell will easily cut you in half if you’re caught.
Her jaw drops in astonishment. “How big is this damn thing?”
I give her a smile of reassurance I don’t exactly feel. It will be necessary to take the adult chuktah out this time around since she will be wary and ready for another attack. I doubt I will have time to gather a single one of her shells before she springs from the sandy floor.
“Do not come into the water, Ada. It will be harder for me to protect you below the sea.” I see her struggle for a moment. I think she is used to giving orders and taking action. This does not sit well with her if her pursed lips are any indication. “Ada?” I press.
“I will sit on the damn boat like some brainless damsel, all right? You happy?”
I smile, unable to hold back my desire for this female any longer. I told her I did not want to have sex with her until she was ready to be my mate. I said nothing about kissing her. I grab her around the waist, pull her to me, and take her lips in a kiss filled with passion and heat. At first she is startled, but it doesn’t take long for her to wrap her arms around my neck and sink into the kiss as I slip my tongue between her lips and mate my mouth with hers. She is warm and sweet, giving in to the desire she feels with as much enthusiasm as I do. A low growl comes unbidden, and I press my hands into her lower back, bowing her backward as her breast brush against my bare chest. Blood rushes to my cock, and now I am losing control.
I thought one kiss would sate my desire, but it has only fueled it. I abruptly pull back before I do with her what I promised us both I could not. Not until she says she is mine. She gasps in surprise, her eyes hooded with desire and her lips red and swollen from my kisses.
“Stay in the vessel,” I say in a hoarse whisper. Then I dive off the boat before
the burning in my horns takes over and reduces me to a mindless, rutting beast. The cool water is a welcome balm to my horns—not to mention my cock—as they slowly roll back into place, throbbing a little less with each passing moment. I blink my eyes and allow my extra lenses to come forward, blocking out the salty sting of the seawater. The sea is quite clear and brilliant this time of day, but I will need the lenses to see in darker areas since the pod is located in a tunnel at the bottom of the rocky cove. I easily swim my way to the floor and head toward the opening where rock meets sand, grateful that the nest, as I recall, is only a few feet in.
I hesitate just outside the entrance, spotting a few white, glossy shells, each the size of my hand. The pods are always arranged in a spiral formation. The smaller shells are attached to each other through a cord, a fibrous bit of tubing that carries nutrients from the chuktah to all her shells and forms the chemical compounds for the gems. On a normal hunt, one finds the end of the spiral and then follows it around until anywhere from five to ten shells are counted.
After the tenth shell, a hunter uses a knife to cut the tube, separating that section of the hoard from the pod. Unfortunately, this loss does not go unnoticed by the adult. A hunter must have a good plan in place, some form of escape route or hiding area ready and available to retreat to until the adult no longer registers a presence in the area. Then, once the full grown chuktah has burrowed back down beneath the sand, the hunter can swim back and safely retrieve the shells he already severed from the group.
I managed to hide in another tunnel the first time, but I barely made it through before losing a hand. The chuktah will not be in a state of hibernation after such a recent raid. I will not have time to hide. I will have to fight. Which means…I must kill the adult first. There is only one way to manage this, but I have no way of knowing if I will be able to break free afterward.
I must break free. For Ada, I must.
I swim to the edge of the spiral, dig my feet into the sand below, and release just a bit of air to remain anchored there. Then I flex my claws, bringing them forth and bracing myself for what must be done. I dig just one claw below the surface of the sand between two of the shells and then cleanly slice the tubing all the way through. A dark, inky substance immediately releases and that wailing shriek I expected to hear is filled with more fury than ever before, carrying through the water in an eerie echo. Several spans ahead within the wide tunnel, sand explodes upward through the water with the adult chuktah following close behind. She is a massive specimen. At least three times my height when her bottom and top shell are completely extended, revealing the soft pink flesh within. She clamps her shells together, which gives her the propulsion needed to shoot in my direction, the back of her shell facing toward me.