by Fiona Jayde
“You have no idea how much those words, coming from you, mean to me.” He claps me on the shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. Then his easy grin returns, and he struts away in that carefree manner of his.
I shake my head. I will never understand my brother.
Carefully carrying Ada through the doorway, I follow Glaoch into a smaller living area that shares a cooking area. My brow ridge raises as Glaoch heads to a silver cooling compartment only to slide the heavy machinery to the side, revealing a space so small I almost think I will not fit through. He ducks into the space and turns, holding out his arms for Ada. I reluctantly hand her over first and then inch my way into the room, scratching my sides against the rock walls as I go. When I come through the other side, I see a small bedroom hidden away.
“I will send food. Do not leave until I come for you. When it is safe, we will move you somewhere more secure.”
I clasp his hand. “Thank you, my friend.”
With a grim look, Glaoch pulls me aside. In a low voice, he says “I can take her, you know.”
“What?”
“I know some smugglers who could get her back to Earth. Despite the rumblings about a treaty between Earth and Elysius, I do not see negotiations happening soon enough. It will be dangerous for her to remain here, and please do not be offended, but it appears to me that she is unaware of the bond. Was it her choice to be bonded to you?”
Guilt claws up my throat. “No, I assumed she knew, but…this was not her choice, and before we were bonded, she had every intention of returning to Earth.”
The truth of my words sink in as I replay every interaction we’ve had together. Never once did she ever say she wanted to stay. Never once did she agree to be my mate.
Not once.
“I could get her back there, if she desires to leave, if she doesn’t want you as her mate—”
“But I want her as mine,” I say.
“And she feels the same way?”
I look away. I know that she does not feel the same way.
Glaoch nods. “If you will let her go, you must do it soon. The smuggling window will only be open for another day.”
“I know I need to let her go, not only because she has not chosen me, but because she is not safe here with me, but we are bonded, Glaoch. What if the distance between our two planets puts a strain on the bond and damages both her aura and mine? What if this form of protection only endangers her further?”
Glaoch’s stare is penetrating as he looks from me to Ada. “There are ways to disconnect your auras, if it is what you desire.”
My eyes widen in disbelief, and a sharp pain fills my heart. I’ll admit that a selfish part of me had hoped that Glaoch would confirm that distance would cause us damage so she would be forced to stay, that option removed entirely.
Now that I know the bond can be broken, there is nothing left to decide. No matter how much it will kill me, I must let her go. I must do right by her, save her.
My thoughts go back to my mother, sister, and father. I failed them. I could do nothing for them, but I will not fail her.
“It is not what I wish, but it is exactly what she needs,” I growl in defeat.
He nods. “I will make the arrangements,” he says. “Find me in the early morning before the light rises. You know where I live.” With that, he crawls back through the space and closes the false cooling compartment behind him, leaving me alone with my mate and my tormented thoughts.
※※※※
That first night, she just sleeps. It is clear she has been through an ordeal, and I am more than happy to hold her. Glaoch’s men bring food, and I force her to eat a little. I clean her. I keep her warm. Mostly, I hold her and whisper loving words in her ear, calling her back to me. She will recover, I remind myself. She will. In time.
My brother comes back early morning, just before I’m ready to take Ada to Glaoch’s. He’s looking tired and spent, but also triumphant. Ada is sleeping nearby, but we sit down to talk for a bit.
“I take it the rebellion is going well?”
“We’ve subdued the last of Derwag’s followers, but we must have over half the council on board with our decision. They are deliberating even as we speak, but it is a foregone conclusion. They are simply drawing out their decision in an attempt to appear in control. I have called to order a meeting of our military leaders and the council so they can announce your election as chancellor. We will meet with them the next sun rotation mid-evening.”
I nod, excitement coursing through my body. I will finally be serving my people in the role I was always meant to play.
“Who do you think is pulling Derwag’s strings? Any obvious choices?” I ask.
“There are always the obvious choices, but supposition will do us no good at the moment. We must get through this next hurdle, and Ada will be very helpful in solidifying your position. In fact, it would be good for her to be at your side when the council announces you as the new chancellor.”
Unease coils its way within my chest. “Why do you wish Ada to be there?”
“Our people must see their future chancellor being an example by taking a human mate. It will ease some of the hesitance and distrust the humans feel for us and facilitate speedier negotiations for an alliance. Though, to be honest, I think humans will fall in line either way. There are too many threats to their safety. They need our warriors and our technology. For Ada to be human, and for you to already be bonded to her, not only protects her, it endears you and her to our people. It will show our warriors that the waiting period imposed on them is null and void since you already have a mate and did not have to suffer through the waiting period yourself. You’ll have the forced backing of the council, and the eager backing of the military, regardless of the traitor within the council.”
I nod, readying myself for what I must tell Tarian.
My brother grins. “Though I was not expecting Ada, it certainly cements your position, and I could not be happier with such a fierce sister joining the family.”
“She still has no idea she is bonded to me, and even though it cements her position, it may actually cause her greater danger. I will become a target for the traitor among us. Ada could be used as leverage.”
“I had thought of that, but I do believe she is safer with you than without you. She needs to know this is what you truly wish. Tell her the truth, give her time to adjust, be honest in her role among our people and by your side. I think you will find her equal to the task.”
“She is more than equal, but I do not know if she will be willing. I do not know if she will be safe. I promised to never bond with her against her will, and I did just that. She might never forgive me…and I…I believe, for her safety, it is better for her to remain on Earth.”
He shakes his head in bewilderment. “What are you talking about? She’ll not abandon you, my brother. No female in her right mind would even consider it.”
“No Elysium female, maybe, but Ada is an unknown. For all my prowess in wooing females, I do believe human females may have bested me.”
Tarian laughs heartily. “Then I shall do my best to remain unmated and steer clear of these particular females.”
The idea of my brother being humbled by his own fierce little human lightens my heart for a moment. Then I picture the incision along Ada’s abdomen, and my resolve to keep her safe intensifies.
“Why all this testing, Tarian? Derwag could have started a war and ruined this new alliance with the humans if they had discovered Ada’s situation. What was he planning?”
Tarian shakes his head. “I don’t know. I am close with Graig—he gives me a sense of what the others are thinking sometimes, but Hynaf doesn’t trust me at all. I have no idea what Derwag was attempting.”
“Do you suppose there is someone within the council who has more nefarious plans for Earth? What if Derwag and his master are more interested in causing a war between humans and our people?”
“I don’t think they can fund a full-on
invasion of Earth on top of the war with the Chassaks,” Tarian says.
“I agree, but clearly someone is trying to do something with this information.”
“Perhaps Derwag truly wished to know if Ada was compatible with you on a biological level.”
I shake my head, worried about the tissues samples they took from her. A strange sense of foreboding claws at my insides. “It’s too dangerous, Tarian. I can’t ask this of her. I can’t knowingly put my mate in danger now that I know the full scope of this situation.”
“What’s done is done, brother. Consider the strain on the bond if you send her to Earth and you don’t follow. We’ve never tested this before. You two could quite literally die from the pain of that separation, and you can’t follow her to Earth and give up your newfound calling. Our people need you here.”
“Our separation won’t kill us if she isn’t bonded to me any longer.”
My brother stares at me in utter horror.
“What in the Goddess’s name are you talking about, Kyllell?”
※※※※
Ada
I wake up, but don’t move. I recognize Kyllell and Tarian’s voices and feel calm. I am safe. I listen to what they are saying, but I’m having a difficult time grasping the subject matter. Eavesdropping in the middle of a conversation is the worst.
“Glaoch believes he can help her break it,” Kyllell says.
Help who break what?
“And you didn’t punch him for suggesting it?” The searing anger that laces Tarian’s tone surprises me.
“No,” Kyllell says. “It is for the best. I can see the path clearly now. There is too much to consider and too many complications.”
“That’s never stopped you before. What happened to your firm resolution to accept no other but her? You said you would have no other mate than Ada,” Tarian says.
Me? I try to open my mouth to speak, but my throat is so dry and hoarse I can’t croak out a single sound. I wet my lips and swallow hard, trying to lubricate my poor vocal chords.
“Glaoch gave me new information to consider, and so have you. The dangers within the council, the mating program, the invasive surgery, everything is now more complicated. It is not the best course of action for Ada’s saf—”
He is cut off by an outside commotion before I can wrap my head around what he’s trying to say. Admittedly, I’m finding it a bit difficult to follow the flow of conversation since my brain is addled with drugs, but one phrase stands out above the rest: Mating program.
He now knows about the mating program…and it’s suddenly changed everything for him. He’s no longer sure about me because he knows he has options. Maybe he thinks it’s worthwhile to try out some other humans before he settles down.
And somehow, I just knew that would be his exact response once Tarian finally told him.
The pain in my chest is fierce. The irony of me finally realizing my level of feeling for him only to have him change his mind about me isn’t lost on me at all. It’s what I’ve been afraid of ever since I started feeling anything for the bastard.
I’m simply not enough, not someone he feels is enough when faced with so many other choices.
Nausea builds in my gut, but before I can say anything, or think anything more, I hear more voices. Tarian curses. “Derwag’s spies must have followed me. He’ll want to eliminate you before you can lead the assembly. Quick, turn out the light.”
With some fumbling, the light is doused. We silently wait in the darkness as the voices grow closer and my heart grows colder and more numb than I thought possible.
“Where is the door?” says one voice.
“He said it would be right here,” says another.
“I don’t see anything.”
“Shut up for a minute and let me look.”
The voices fall silent, but I can hear their footsteps as they shuffle around, trying to find our location. Finally, I hear a sigh.
“I don’t see it. Maybe he heard wrong,” says one.
“Let’s go. We’ll come back with more people and tear the place apart,” says the other.
Their footsteps retreat, and I sit up and look at the brothers. They’re staring at each other with grim determination.
“You take Ada and get her to Glaoch. Make sure he severs everything. I’ll make appearances here and there to draw the guards after me. Make sure he takes care of the bond and sends her back to her planet tonight,” Kyllell says.
“Excuse me?” I say.
Kyllell looks at me in surprise. “You’re awake.”
“Yes.”
“Good.” His eyes meet mine and then quickly fall away. “Go with Tarian.”
“You can’t just give me to your brother like that,” I protest as Kyllell lifts me from the bed and hands me over to his brother like a sack of useless carrion. I need him to explain this to me, own up to his cowardice, give me a chance to fight for him a bit.
Give me the courtesy of breaking up with me to my face even though we aren’t officially together.
“This is madness, Kyllell. You haven’t thought this through. And you can’t go running about, drawing the guards to you. If you’re caught and executed then all of this is for naught.”
Kyllell gives his brother a fierce look. “They will never catch me.” He pulls his Chassak cloak on and becomes nearly invisible for a moment before taking it off.
“I still don’t agree with this,” Tarian says.
Kyllell ignores him and lifts my chin, giving me a fierce kiss that leaves me aching with need. “Be safe, my sweet Ada. Go,” he says to Tarian.
I gasp and struggle. “Hey, stop it! I have to talk to you, you can’t just—”
But Tarian carries me through a cramped space, draws back a heavy door, and moves into a cramped living area. I’m barely able to take in my surroundings as he barrels through another rickety door before heading down a narrow street. The last thing I see before Tarian takes us from this place is Kyllell entering the street, turning his back on me, and hurrying away in the opposite direction, like he can’t get away from me fast enough.
And it hurts like a bitch.
※※※※
The site of Kyllell abandoning me takes away all my fight. I remain in Tarian’s arms in a listless state of pain and confusion as he hurriedly takes us to our next destination which is…I actually have no clue what the hell is going on now. And I’m actually damn tired of being carried around like this. He turns down yet another abandoned street and stops in front of an obsidian colored hovel.
“Where are we? Another hiding place?” I ask.
“Not exactly,” another voice says from a dark corner. I squint into the early morning darkness. An older Elysium sits in the corner with a bottle of something strong-smelling in front of him. His skin is wrinkled with age. He looks at me with casual interest. Not exactly friendly, but not threatening either. At least, not yet.
“Hello, Glaoch,” Tarian says.
“Young Tarian,” the alien says. “I see you’ve brought Kyllell’s mate. She has decided then?”
Not really his mate, and apparently I never will be.
Damn, that thought smarts.
“Well, it’s complicated, but I brought her here to talk about severing the bond. Kyllell seems to think it is the only way. I think he’s an idiot.”
“Wait, what?” I ask.
“She still doesn’t know about the bond?” he asks, looking to Tarian for some sort of clarity.
“She knows about it, she just doesn’t know she is bonded.”
“What?” I hiss.
Glaoch looks at me kindly. “Let’s go into my home before the eyes and ears of the council spot us and have something to report.”
Tarian passes through the threshold and into another modest dwelling.
He sets me down on a seat at the table, taking the one next to me as Glaoch sits across from us. I have no idea what to say as Glaoch gives me an intense look, and I’m still reeling from Kyllell’
s rejection and easy dismissal. I was so ready to give in to Kyllell’s certainty and my own revelations of love for him. He had been so confident that I was his one and only, so sure that it was right. And I’d started to think it was okay to let someone be part of me.
“What the hell are you talking about, Tarian? We’re not bonded yet.”
“You are. My brother was so anxious to claim you as his when he found you among me and my crew, he forgot to mention his intent to initiate the bond.”
“He did it without my knowledge? Without giving me a choice?”
“You had a choice, my dear,” Glaoch says, sending me a warm, grandfatherly smile. “If you had truly not wanted to be his, then your aura would not have made way for him when he initiated the bonding process.”
“And you can’t blame him too much for what he did. The Burning, coupled with his bond mate surrounded by other unmated males, didn’t afford him much clarity.” Tarian shrugs like it ain’t no thing.
I stare at them both in open wonder as I realize that the tug on my heart is my tie to Kyllell and the bond we have. I recognize it now, and it takes root even deeper within my heart as I acknowledge its presence.
“You’re not angry,” Glaoch says. It’s not a question.
“No.” I smile as realization dawns. “I’m not angry at all.”
Tarian smacks a hand on the table in satisfaction. “I knew it. I knew you wouldn’t go without a fight.”
A fight. That’s right. Kyllell wants me gone. My easy smile fades fast as another pang of hurt washes through me.
“There’s no point in fighting this. If your brother doesn’t want me or this bond any longer, I’m not going to force him. I told you he needed to see what his options were, and now that he knows he can pick from any female in the mating program, he’s considering those options. If he doesn’t want me anymore, I won’t fight him on it. I’ve got some sense of pride, after all.”
Tarian lets out a frustrated groan. “You and Kyllell are two of the most stubbornly stupid, obtuse beings I have ever encountered.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”